


Rewind

by Chiyala (Shiningangel)



Series: Rewind [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Drama, Emotional Roller Coaster, Groundhog Day, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Podfic & Podficced Works, Public Blow Jobs, Public Display of Affection, Public Kink, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 114,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8419549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiningangel/pseuds/Chiyala
Summary: When a mission turns out to be fatal for Gray, Natsu finds himself being given another chance to change the events.





	1. Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Kinsha_ (jap.) = gold dust
> 
> **Audio (podfic) of this Chapter[here](http://yuurivoice.tumblr.com/post/155399715295/rewind-ch-1-yuurivoice-podfic) (read by yuurivoice). Go check it out, guys. His voice is amazing!**
> 
> **Enjoy!**

[Cover art](http://selenba.tumblr.com/post/151879521231/visual-of-natsus-diary) by the amazing [Selenba](http://selenba.tumblr.com/).

_**Foreword: Feel free to skip this, you won't miss out on anything story-wise.** _

**I first had the idea to this story a short time after I started writing[Instinct](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5507687/chapters/12786380). I was dreaming about it regularly, and no matter how much I tried to ignore the idea (I wanted to focus on Instinct), it just kept growing, and the plot became more and more detailed. Since I'm not one to just drop a project, I swore to myself to not start writing this before Instinct wasn't finished.**

**This fic is _loosely based_ on canon, but I twisted timelines, cut some events entirely, and I also altered the magic used by a certain mage a bit. You'll notice when you get there (I'm not fond of spoilers). So it could be considered an AU.**

**In case anyone is wondering—this fic was inspired by:**  
**\- the movie 'Groundhog Day'**  
**\- an episode of Stargate SG-1 (which I don't remember the name of, but it was basically a day that was always repeating itself, with only two of the characters remembering the whole thing, which eventually led to them playing golf through the stargate and other stupidities)**  
**\- the Anime 'Death Note'**  
**\- the movies 'Final Destination'  
**\- and probably some other things I don't remember now.****

**This fanfic will have _weekly updates_ , I'll be uploading a new chapter every Sunday around noon (German time zone).**

**This fic has several additions later on (part of this series). They are a part of the story and if you want to understand all of it, you should read them. The end notes of the respective chapters refer to them. Please don't read them before you finished the chapters of the main fic since the diary entries contain spoilers.**

**For updates, info, and other issues regarding this fic, follow[my Rewind blog on tumblr](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/).**

***

Natsu awoke with a start, his heart pounding. A glance at his alarm clock told him that it was still seven and thus much too early for him to be awake. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow and sighed.

They'd come back somewhat late the day before. Makarov had called them to his office immediately once he'd taken notice of their arrival—which had been pretty much the second they set foot in the guild hall, seeing as they'd caused a lot of noise—like always. He'd asked them to accept a very urgent and important mission that would start the next day in the afternoon. There was only one train per day to their destination. The departure was one P.M., and the ride would last approximately three hours. Naturally, Natsu hadn't been happy to hear that.

He wasn't tired anymore. Even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Well, six and a half hours of sleep should be enough. He peeled himself from the covers only to find that his hands were shaking slightly. What was wrong with him? If he'd had a nightmare, he would've remembered it.

There was a tingling in his gut, but he always felt this way when he knew that he'd later have to ride a train or any other vehicle that made him nauseous. Natsu clenched his hands into fists to make the trembling go away, but the motion just made him realize that his palms were sweating. He gulped. There was no use denying that _something_ was clearly wrong. Was he getting sick? He should probably talk to Wendy later. She'd be accompanying them anyway, seeing as their mission involved countless non-mages who could get hurt.

For now, he decided to just take a shower and get ready for the day, since dwelling on it wouldn't help the matter.

***

The guild hall was unusually quiet when Happy and Natsu arrived. Most of the members were on a mission or still at home. Gray sat alone at a table, playing with his glass of water, oblivious to everything around him. Was he always here this early in the morning? Natsu was one for sleeping in, so he usually arrived when the guild was lively and loud, with his best friend and rival always right in the middle of it. Seeing him sitting there, wearing a bored expression, turning his water to ice and melting it again, then absentmindedly tapping his finger against the glass... It was strange. Was there even a sad look in Gray's eyes, or was it just Natsu's imagination?

Whatever it was, Natsu didn't like it. He couldn't stand the thought of Gray being sad, so he went over to his table, flopped down on the opposite bench, put his crossed arms on the table, and rested his chin on them. He distantly noted that Happy flew towards the bar, where Mirajane chatted with Wendy and Carla, but the only thing that mattered right then was the pair of icy blue eyes that focused on him with a questioning look. Natsu stared back without blinking, refusing to answer the unspoken question. Gray didn't look away, but his expression grew more and more confused, his eyebrows being raised higher.

Natsu didn't budge as the seconds ticked by. Gray sighed and turned his attention back to the glass on the table. He looked tense now, which was still unsettling, but still better than a sad expression.

After minutes of being started at by Natsu, Gray looked back to him.

"Why are you here so early today? We were supposed to get as much sleep as we could."

Natsu lifted and tilted his head at that. "The same goes for you."

Gray rolled his eyes. "I couldn't sleep well last night."

Yeah, he _did_ look kind of tired today. Maybe that look from earlier hadn't been sadness, but exhaustion. As if to prove his point, Gray let out a long yawn, then rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. When his vision was sharp again, he raised an eyebrow at Natsu, and asked, "So?"

_'So... what?'_

His confusion seemed to be written all over his face because Gray repeated his question. "Why are _you_ here so early?"

 _'Oh, right.'_ "I woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep."

Gray's expression changed into one of amusement. "Oh? I didn't know there was something that could steal _your_ sleep. What is it? Did Lucy dump you?"

Natsu didn't know why Gray was lately so hell-bent on the idea that he had a crush on Lucy, but it never failed to make him angry. So Gray shouldn't have been surprised when he was being grabbed by the collar a second later.

"Are you boys fighting again?"

Natsu froze at Erza's voice. He turned his head slowly, afraid Erza would attack if he made a quick movement. She had just arrived, still standing in the door, looking angry. That was impeccable timing she had there. Now he looked like the guilty one, crouching on the table and threatening Gray with a clenched fist, when _Gray_ had been the one to taunt him. He sighed and let go of Gray's collar, then flopped down on the bench again. He didn't want to incur Erza's wrath first thing in the morning. Erza rewarded him with an appeased smile and busied herself with carrying all her luggage into the guild hall. Natsu would never understand how she could seriously think that all this luggage was necessary.

When he turned his attention back to Gray, he found himself being scrutinized by intense blue eyes.

"What now?"

"Why do you always get so defensive when it comes to you and Lucy?"

"I told you, it's not like that!"

It was hard to keep his temper at bay when they were talking about this topic. Because, seriously, how could he stay calm when Gray was so thoroughly misinterpreting his feelings? How had he not understood already that Lucy wasn't the one he was in love with? He'd _tried_ to give Gray hints that _he_ was the one his heart belonged to, and had for a long time already. But it somehow always went wrong, always ending up in bickering or fighting. Even when he just 'accidentally' brushed his hand against Gray's, the ice mage immediately jumped and bellowed at him. Natsu had long since given up on the hope that Gray could ever return his feelings, let alone accept them if he confessed. He'd stopped trying to subtly get closer to him over two years ago when he'd been sixteen. However, Natsu was pretty sure that he didn't manage to hide his feelings very well. He'd caught himself staring at Gray more often than he liked to admit. Not to mention his nervousness whenever Gray was too close, although he liked to believe that he managed to mask it as clumsiness.

"You know that the more you deny it, the more likely it seems."

Damn him! Why was he so incredibly stupid? For a second, Natsu was tempted to just shout out his love confession, if only to make Gray shut up. However, Natsu caught himself, and instead went for, "Lucy is like a sister to me!"

Gray opened his mouth to retort something, but Lucy, who apparently just arrived at the guild a second before, beat him to it. "Ohhh, really? Now that's cute! You're like a brother to me, too!"

Natsu felt heat creeping into his cheeks, both because he was called 'cute', and because seemingly all people present had heard it. _Fabulous_. This _really_ supported his claim that he didn't have any romantic feelings for Lucy. Gray was obviously thinking the exact same thing, seeing as he rolled his eyes, and uttered a sarcastic, "Yes, like a sister, of _course._ "

Before Natsu had the chance to respond, Gray was already on his feet and heading towards the bar, glass in hand. Natsu cursed under his breath, staring at Gray's retreating back as if that could make him realize that _he_ was the one Natsu truly wanted.

What else could he do to make Gray see that he wasn't in love with Lucy? What made Gray believe such a thing in the first place? It was true that he liked Lucy like a sister, and he had no qualms showing it openly. Natsu let out a long unhappy sigh.

"What's wrong? Trouble with Gray?"

Lucy set down two glasses of water on the table, then took a seat next to Natsu. He didn't even bother looking at her. He knew she was worried; he could hear it in her voice.

"He still thinks I'm in love with you."

"Oh man. Maybe you should try to be a bit more obvious. Well, I personally think you're already pretty obvious, but I guess guys can be kind of dumb when it comes to this..." she trailed off, elbowing Natsu meaningfully.

"Hey! What do you mean, 'guys'? We're not all the same, you know? _He's_ being dumb here!"

Lucy pointedly turned her head towards Natsu, and as soon as their gazes met, she rolled her eyes. "If you think so."

_'Yes, I think so indeed.'_

"Say, Natsu, why are you already in the guild this early?"

Natsu wanted to ask why everyone was so shocked to see him here early but thinking back, he couldn't remember more than one or two days on which Lucy had arrived after him. He'd just have to resign himself to answering this question a few more times today.

"I woke up early and I couldn't fall back asleep."

"Oh. Is something bothering you?"

He really had a reputation of a heavy sleeper, didn't he?

"Nothing, I don't think."

"Hmmm. I guess we all have nights like that. I didn't sleep well last night, either. It was hard to fall asleep, and I woke up multiple times." She lowered her head until her forehead rested on the table. At least he wasn't the only one who'd had a bad night.

***

About an hour later, the door to the guild hall opened with a bang, revealing Laxus, the Raijinshuu, and— _oh god, please, no_ —Juvia.

"GRAY-SAMAAA!!"

Juvia was at the bar and clinging to Gray in no time at all. Natsu clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, barely noticing when Lucy patted his back soothingly. His brain worked rapidly on an excuse to drag Gray into a fight. Sad how this was the only behavior that would seem normal to the others. Maybe he really needed to work on their relationship. Needed to talk more often to Gray without it ending in an argument or fight. Needed to claim his attention for reasons other than taunting him. But he needed a quick solution right then, as Juvia was clinging to Gray's neck and trying to _kiss_ him. That woman had gotten bolder over the years. Gray ignoring her assaults had done nothing to lessen her efforts. Alright, it wasn't like he _always_ just ignored her, but since telling her that he wasn't interested wasn't helping either, he'd obviously resigned himself to just letting it happen. Which was raising Juvia's hopes, and that was _not okay_. Plus he was half naked, so Juvia could touch his muscular upper body to her heart's desire. Which was another thing that was clearly _not okay_.

Natsu was in front of the two before he even noticed that he'd moved at all. He had to remind himself that he needed to glare at _Gray_ , not at Juvia. She jumped aside quickly. As much as she loved Gray, she didn't want to get involved in their fights.

 _"Not in here, for god's sake!"_ Erza's angry growl halted their impending fight, much to Natsu's relief. As much as he usually enjoyed fighting with Gray, he hated doing it for no reason other than saving Gray from Juvia's unwanted endeavors.

"Outside, now!" Gray snarled at him. Natsu was all too happy to follow him. He ignored Lucy's worried look and gave Erza a nod when she warned them that they'd need their strength later. He wasn't going to fight Gray. Not this time.

When they arrived at the clearing next to a river where they usually fought, Gray turned around sharply, an angry look on his face.

"What did I do this time?"

Natsu shrugged. "Nothing. That's the problem."

"What are you talking about?"

"Juvia. You keep giving her false hope."

Gray's eyes narrowed to slits. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

"You're both my friends, and I hate seeing my friends unhappy!"

"How do I make Juvia unhappy with not rejecting her?"

Natsu let out a sigh. "I'm talking about you..."

This stunned Gray and his angry expression faltered, making way for a confused one. "Me...? How would you know whether I'm happy or not?"

Natsu's answer came quick like a shot. "You tense up whenever you know Juvia is approaching you, I can tell from your smell and from the hunching of your shoulders. You flinch when she's reaching out to you; you look like you've bitten into a lemon whenever she clings to you. You never return any gestures. You never let her kiss you or hold your hand. When she hugs you, you always look around as if searching for somebody or something that would help you get out of that situation. I just... wanted to be that somebody to help you."

Gray's eyes widened in surprise, watching Natsu intently. Had he said too much?

"You..." Gray trailed off, and then started over again. "You aren't actually as stupid as you make people think you are."

Natsu closed his eyes, trying hard to resist the retort that was about to fight its way out of his mouth. Now was not the time to fight. _'Not the time to fight. Calm down. No. Fighting.'_ It was disturbing that the voice in his head sounded like Erza, but he dismissed it.

"If that's all, then let's go back to the guild already."

This earned him a wary look. Gray took a careful step towards Natsu but then paused. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Natsu... Is everything alright? Your behavior is kind of... well, off?"

He nearly said, 'no, everything's alright,' but then a thought occurred to him. Gray was taking him seriously right then, so maybe this was his chance?

"It bugs me that you don't believe me when I say I'm not into Lucy."

"Well, you spend a lot of time with her, and you're often at her house. You seem to enjoy yourself when she's around. It makes sense."

Natsu sighed in defeat. "It's true that I like her, but it's not romantic at all. She's the only one who puts up with me like this, and her flat is way cleaner than my house. I don't see her _that_ way, and I never will."

Gray swallowed, then took a small step towards Natsu. "I didn't realize it's bothering you so much." His gaze was intense. "I believe you now if it makes you feel better."

Natsu had expected to be more relieved to hear these words than he actually was. Gray's proximity made him way too nervous. Should he confess? Or just kiss him, and confess afterward? Gray was so close... Just two more steps and he could kiss him, embrace him, whisper sweet nothings into his ear...

 _'Yeah, right.'_ As if Gray would appreciate that. Being kissed and hugged out of the blue, by another guy no less. For all Natsu knew, Gray wasn't even into guys.

All of those thoughts faded when Gray took another tentative step forward, his eyes never leaving Natsu's. He stretched out his hand toward Natsu's face, and Natsu's eyes widened. When Gray's cool fingers touched his cheek, Natsu's heart missed a beat. The touch was brief, just a quick swipe across his skin, and then it was gone.

Gray checked his hand, rubbing his fingers against each other... as if trying to determine the tackiness of... a liquid? With a start, Natsu reached for his own cheeks, startled to feel wetness there. He was _crying_? Why?

He looked back up into Gray's face, unsure of how to handle this situation or how Gray would react. Gray looked at him in concern and confusion.

"Natsu...? What's wrong? That's not like you. Is it something I said?"

"N-no. I don't know... w-why I'm crying."

"Come on. You can tell me. I know we fight most of the time, but I still consider you my best friend."

Natsu took the last step forwards without thinking. He bumped into Gray harder than he'd intended; Gray needed to take half a step back to regain his balance. After a brief moment of hesitation, they wrapped their arms around each other. Gray patted his back soothingly, trying to shush him.

"I'm sorry... I... I really don't know wh-what's wrong. I have n-no reason to cry." _'Especially not now, when you're so close to me and holding me like this,'_ he added in his thoughts. "I just feel... really strange today, is all..." And it was true. It _was_ a weird day. There was no way he'd act like this on a normal day. But something was depressing him.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I also feel a bit strange today..."

Natsu stiffened. Gray felt it, too? Then it wasn't just his imagination, and there really was something going on! Natsu was on alert all of a sudden, peeling himself out of Gray's arms, ready to fight whatever threat there was to come. He closed his eyes and sniffed the air, but there seemed to be nothing amiss—though there was a breeze that would make it impossible to smell somebody who was hiding in the wind direction.

"Show yourself!" he shouted into the trees, just to make sure. Gray took up a fighting stance, shooting Natsu a wary look.

"Did you smell somebody?"

"No."

"Then why are you doing this? Did you hear something?"

"No. I'm just trying to make sure."

Gray rolled his eyes. "Let's go back to the guild."

Natsu let his gaze rove over the landscape around them, trying to spot anything that was amiss. When he didn't find anything, he sighed and nodded, taking off towards their guild after Gray.

He couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

***

Natsu's stomach turned upside down at the mere sight of the train as it arrived.

The five of them and their two Exceeds had arrived half an hour too early, driven by Erza who feared that something might happen and cause them to miss the train if they didn't plan for any eventualities. So they'd had lots of time to talk about the fact that somehow everybody on their team hadn't slept well and felt off, though nobody knew what it was about. Carla was oddly quiet the whole time, and when asked, she shook her head, saying she also didn't know what was going on.

All of them were tired, so it wasn't surprising when Lucy's head slumped down on Erza's shoulder not five minutes after departure. Erza also appeared to be fighting with herself to stay awake, but she gave in soon enough, letting her head rest against Lucy's.

Wendy had cast Troia on Natsu and herself, which was why they were both fine with the ride. But it would wear off soon enough, she had warned, since both of them had already gotten used to the spell.

Natsu wanted to sleep, at least until his motion sickness kicked in, but he really didn't want to abuse Wendy's shoulder. Worse still would be to use her lap as a pillow, which was already occupied by a sleeping Carla. Knowing himself and his sleeping habits, he knew for a fact that he'd end up leaning against _some_ part of the person sitting next to him, though he'd never slept on a train before. It would be a different story if he'd be sitting next to Gray... In that case he'd gladly fall asleep and let himself slump against Gray, even if it ended with a punch to his face and a snide comment. However, Erza had insisted they not sit next to each other, knowing all too well how badly that could end.

Yawning, Natsu risked a glance at Gray and saw that he blinked rapidly, trying to focus his gaze on something before him, probably Lucy. So he was fighting to stay awake as well. Wendy seemed to be the only one who wasn't tired at all. Even Happy lay next to Natsu on the bench, sleeping with a happy grin on his face, mumbling something about fish.

Natsu leaned back against his seat, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the mission they were entrusted with. A small dark guild had taken a whole town of non-mages called _Kinsha_ hostage. Well, they had _one_ mage, but he wouldn't have stood a chance. He could make himself invisible, so he'd used his ability to sneak out and send the request to Fairy Tail. It was classified as an A-rank mission, though Makarov had said that he didn't want to take the risk, that he wanted to send their best team since they didn't know the true strength of their enemies. They didn't even know the name of the dark guild and they hadn't ever heard of the mages who were briefly described in the request. The dark guild's goal was simple—they wanted all the money the town possessed. When Makarov had told them just how many jewels they were talking about, Erza had let out a screeching sound, Gray had jumped so high he'd hit his head on the ceiling—naturally Natsu had made fun of him for that afterwards—Happy had tried to calculate how much fish he could buy with all these jewels—in vain—, and Natsu had made some shocked poses he'd never admit were hilarious to watch.

The safe and its security mechanisms had been crafted by mages. Thus the dark guild had been unable to break into it, and the mayor had both refused to tell them how to open it or who else was capable of doing so. Now the town was held captive in an underground shelter, and the dark guild had given the mayor forty-eight hours to change his mind, or they would start killing hostages _until_ he either changed his mind, or everybody was dead. The forty-eight hours had begun the previous day at around noon, which left Fairy Tail about a day to find and defeat them. Natsu was determined as ever to kick their asses.

Wendy snapped him out of his reverie by getting up from her seat. Confused, Natsu looked up at her but didn't dare ask—he didn't want to wake up Lucy or Erza. Wendy leaned down and whispered into his ear that she felt Troia was wearing off and she didn't want to wake up the others with her retching. Upon hearing that, Natsu wanted to get up as well for the same reason, but she motioned him to relax. She was much more used to the spell than him, so he'd still have some time, at least half an hour, probably more like an hour, she guessed. Natsu sunk back on the bench in relief.

This technically left him sitting next to Gray. Admittedly with a small gap between them, but if Natsu let himself doze off, his head would end up in Gray's lap. He gulped. There probably already was a blush on his face just from thinking about it. He tried to subtly catch a glimpse of the ice mage out of the corner of his eyes, but what he saw made him turn his head fully. Gray was sleeping with his lips slightly apart, his head leaning against the window. Natsu licked his lips subconsciously at the sight. Gray was just too sexy for his own good. And when the hell had he stripped off his shirt? Not that Natsu particularly minded, but... damn.

When Natsu felt a tell-tale tightness in his crotch, he practically jumped to his feet, hurrying off to find the nearest toilet. The last thing he wanted was to be caught getting or being hard around his friends. Who knew when one of them would wake up and see?

His white cloth pants were thin and flexible, which meant that they always fit snugly in any position. Which was a huge advantage while fighting, but in situations like these, he hated it. Sure, there was his dark loincloth which he could always drape over his pants, but he'd still feel exposed.

The odor of the toilet made him calm down fairly quickly, and when he got back to the cabin, he sat down one row before his sleeping friends with his back facing them. He kept his eyes strictly on the passing landscape, forcing his thoughts to the mission awaiting them.

Only when his motion sickness kicked back in did he allow himself to risk a glance over his shoulder. Gray rubbed his eyes tiredly, trying to stifle a yawn. Natsu turned back sharply as a wave of nausea overcame him, leaving him retching dryly. He should have known better than to turn his head against the direction of driving. It always made his nausea worse than it already was. Burying his head into his palms, he prayed for the ride to be over soon.

***

An hour passed, and nothing happened besides the train halting and taking off again, giving Natsu little breaks from his nausea only to have it hit him again harder than before. However, if his sense of time wasn't completely off, then they ought to arrive at their destination soon. Maybe half an hour, tops.

When he felt a determined tap on his shoulder, his first guess was that he'd done something wrong and Erza was here to give him a lecture. So he was surprised to find Gray standing there, his expression unreadable. Before Natsu had the chance to ask what this was about, Gray took a step back and made a beckoning gesture before walking over to the farthest bench in the cabin. Natsu followed him a bit wobbly, not understanding the need to sit somewhere else. But when he sat down opposite of Gray so that he was facing the direction of driving, he realized. The rattling sound of the train would make sure their voices wouldn't carry over to the sleeping girls and Happy.

Gray shot Natsu a careful look that clearly said, 'If you dare puke on me I swear I'll chop your head off.' Natsu shook his head, trying to convey that he wasn't going to puke anytime soon, but Gray didn't look too convinced. So he stood up and sat next to Natsu, probably wanting to be out of the line of fire. Although that didn't explain why he was sitting _so close_ to Natsu that he could _feel_ the body warmth Gray was radiating through his clothes.

"I just... th-thank you. For saving me from Juvia. That was... nice of you."

Natsu could tell it wasn't easy for Gray, thanking him like that. He surely felt embarrassed or humiliated by it and was probably blushing. Natsu knew that looking to the side would cause his nausea to intensify, but his curiosity was just too strong. He turned his head and saw Gray's eyes were closed firmly, his lips taut, and there really was a faint blush on his cheeks.

Natsu wanted to say something, but the words died in his throat as another wave of sickness washed over him, a retching sound breaking free. Gray flinched and scrambled to his feet, probably surprised by the fact that Natsu was facing him. Natsu doubled over, his hands coming to his stomach automatically. He wasn't so sure anymore if he was going to puke or not. Had Troia still had an after effect on him that was slowly fading? In any case, he needed to go to the toilet _immediately_.

***

Half an hour later, they stood at an abandoned train station. Lucy studied a map of the town, Gray talked with Erza while Happy tried to woo Carla, and Wendy and Natsu leaned against a wall with their faces down, both panting and trying to recover from the ride.

Lucy pointed in the direction they'd come from. "This way, if I'm not mistaken... Let's go!"

She was in high spirits. And it wasn't just her—everyone seemed to be in a better mood after their nap—except for Wendy and Natsu, of course. When everyone started walking in the direction Lucy had pointed, Natsu and Wendy reluctantly let go of the wall, stood up, and followed their friends.

***

It took them about half an hour to find the dugout and _the entrance to the dugout_. But once they'd found the door, the rest of the search was easy; there was only one possible path after all. It was dark, so Natsu was in charge of lighting their way.

When they reached a door, Erza signaled them to prepare for battle. Once she'd gotten a nod from everyone, she burst through the door, holding her sword defensively in front of her body.

"Ohh, welcome, welcome! No need to be that hostile, now. Come in, all of you, come in," a cheery female voice rang out.

Nobody moved at first, but then Erza shouted, "Follow her orders!"

So they did. The room was small, so they needed to huddle together in order to fit. There were three people holding sharp knives to the throats of one hostage each. So those were their enemies then. Plus there were three more people behind them, caught in some kind of bubble.

"Close the door. Come on. Come on!" the only female mage ordered. Wendy, who had entered last, obediently closed it behind her.

"Good girl. Good girl. Now, we don't want to be impolite, so we'll introduce ourselves first. Hiii! I'm Ichika!" She smiled broadly, and as a greeting, she waved her knife back and forth excitedly. Her hair was long and black, her face small. It would probably be considered cute by anyone who liked women. Natsu considered if he should use the chance to attack her, but dismissed the idea immediately. They didn't know what they were facing just yet, plus endangering civilians for the sake of surprise wasn't his cup of tea.

The younger man sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes at Ichika. Then he turned his head back towards the Fairy Tail mages, introducing himself with another sigh and one word: "Bubbles." He was tan and tall, with brown, shoulder-length hair. His eyes were brown, too, and all in all, he was pretty good-looking. Natsu guessed him to be in his twenties.

"Don't be so mean to Ichika," the older man stated in an uninterested tone, and then continued, equally uninterestedly, "I'm Yushin."

Yushin was pale, with blue eyes and blond hair. He had a scar that reached from the outer corner of his left eye to the left corner of his lips, but it did nothing to lessen his attractiveness. Natsu would say he was a bit over thirty.

"Tch. Ya ain't better, y'bored piece of trash," Bubbles retorted.

Yushin shrugged nonchalantly. "That's why you like me after all."

Bubbles blushed furiously. "I don't _like_ you, y'stupid pervert!" He pointed his knife at Yushin, but since Ichika was in the way, it ended up mere centimeters away from her cheek.

She narrowed her eyes. "Do you think you could interrupt your flirting for the sake of _more urgent matters_ , eh? Our friends here are waiting to introduce themselves, right? Right?"

"But he's try'na make 'em think I'm _gay_ —"

"Well, you _are_ , duh. Now shut up—"

" 'am _not_!"

"—and let them introduce themselves," Ichika finished as if Bubbles hadn't spoken.

Natsu gaped at them, as did everyone else on their team. So when Bubbles' complaints had finally died down, and the three enemy mages stared at them, waiting for them to say something, they needed a moment to gather themselves.

Lucy was the first one to regain her voice. "Err... I'm Lucy, the red-haired woman to my right is Erza, the raven-haired guy to my left is Gray, the pink-haired guy next to him is Natsu, and the girl at the entrance is Wendy. The blue Exceed is Happy, and the one lying on Wendy's hair is Carla."

Ichika smiled at all of them, and when Lucy had finished, she put her knife down and clapped her hands once.

Bubbles growled, and put his knife down reluctantly, while Yushin followed Ichika's example without hesitation.

"You may go back to the others now! Thanks for your cooperation!" Ichika said cheerily.

The oldest of the hostages mumbled, "It's not as if we had any choice," then followed the other two to a door that was on the opposite of the entrance. Ichika's smile froze for a second, but she caught herself quickly, and then it became even broader. As soon as the three men were out of the room, her smile fell immediately.

"Whew. It's so hard to be a bad girl, right, Bubbles?"

He turned his head sharply towards her, his eyes narrowed to slits. "How the _hell_ 'd I know that, huh? 'N stop hintin' that I'm _gay_ , 'coz I'm _not!"_

"Yes, yes, here we go again. Talk to my hand. Maybe you can actually convince it."

" 'm not talkin' _bullshit_ , y' silly bi—"

"Bubbles. Language," Yushin interjected in a bored tone.

Bubbles actually blushed, then said ruefully, "My bad."

Natsu wondered if his friends also had this feeling of being left out. They were here to fight, weren't they? There were still three people behind their enemies in their respective bubbles. They were alive and awake, but they didn't say anything. They just watched the scene play out before their eyes. One of the hostages was an old woman, probably around seventy, the second one a man in his twenties, and the third one was a kid, not older than twelve, Natsu guessed. They had to find out what those bubbles were about before they struck.

Bubbles was still arguing with Ichika about whether or not he was gay, but Natsu wasn't exactly well-known for his patience. However, he managed to get out only the first syllable when Erza's voice drowned out everything in the room.

"CUT IT OUT! Would you just get the fuck down to business and tell us what these bubbles with the three people inside behind you mean? They're hostages as well, right? Just tell us your conditions already, so we can get to kicking your asses." She let out a snort.

Bubbles flinched, cursing under his breath, while Yushin showed no reaction whatsoever. Ichika was another story altogether—she screeched, then jumped right into Erza's arms, giving her a tight hug, uncaring of the sword that was still in Erza's hand.

"What a scary girl! I wanna be like you! Can you teach me how you do that? Can we be best friends? Please, please!"

Erza was completely dumbfounded, looking to her friends for help. Natsu clenched his fists, fire playing around them, but Lucy stretched out her arm and shook her head. Natsu dispersed the flames, sighing in frustration.

"Okay, how about you answer us some questions?" Lucy asked in Yushin's direction. She got a nod from him, so she continued. "What's your reason for taking a whole town hostage?"

"Money."

She sighed. "What do you need that much money for? I mean, you're three people. You could probably feed a hundred people for their whole life with this much money."

Meanwhile, Erza was still being cuddled by Ichika. She let out strangled sounds and chanting, 'help me, someone!' Lucy ignored them, and the rest of their team just stood in awkward silence, not sure what they should do.

"Find Bubble's father. He went missing."

This struck a chord with Natsu. He took a step forward before he even knew what he was doing. But Lucy turned her head sharply, shaking it once more, begging Natsu silently to stay out of it.

"When did he go missing?"

"Hal—"

"SHUDDUP! They don't need to know ev'rythin'! You've already told 'em too much. Let's get down to business. These three people are our hostages, I'm the one who's controllin' the bubbles, but you've already figured out that much, haven't 'cha?"

Oh, thank Mavis, _finally!_ Natsu was tired of all the waiting and observing.

"Yes, indeed." Lucy said.

Ichika paused and turned her head towards Lucy. "So it's starting, eh? Sorry, scary Lady, but for now we're enemies," she declared, stepping away from Erza and returning to her former position. Erza exhaled in relief, her face flushed.

Bubbles opened his mouth to talk, but Ichika silenced him by covering his mouth with her hand, earning her an eye roll from him.

"I'm trying to be a bad girl here, so let me talk. First of all, the outer layer of the bubbles in which our hostages are caught contain a highly corrosive substance. If you try to pop them by force, it'll dissolve the captive completely within a matter of seconds; they won't even have time to scream. Only Bubbles himself can release them without killing the one inside, so you better think twice before you do anything against our rules.

"You have three options. One: Pay us as much as this town owns, and they are free."

Lucy glowered at her. "As if a mage guild would have that kind of money."

Ichika smiled. "Thought so. Well, the second option would be: You leave, and nobody's in danger for the next... err, about twenty hours."

Natsu couldn't stop the angry snort that broke free from his throat. And he wasn't the only one—Lucy grit her teeth, Erza raised her sword higher, Gray let out a "tch", and Wendy clenched her fists.

"I take that as a 'no'. Well, we _could_ just force you to leave us alone by threatening to kill the hostages otherwise, but what fun would that be? Therefore, the third option involves fighting. There are some rules. Number one: This town, including this bunker, is not to be damaged within the next twenty hours. It's a part of our promise to the mayor, and we're keeping promises."

Gray nudged Natsu playfully in the side, and Natsu shot him a poisonous glare in return.

"Number two: We're fighting one on one. Everyone is only allowed to fight once. Since you're five, that means two of you won't fight. You may choose your enemy, but you have to do it before you know what our abilities are. If you win a duel, we will release one of the hostages. However, if you lose—" she smiled happily— "then we'll kill one of them. If you manage to defeat all of us, we'll release everyone, leave this town and never bother them again. However, if you don't defeat all of us, _you_ will leave and never bother _us_ again."

"And watch you kill innocent people?" Natsu had taken up a fighting stance, his fists on fire.

"There, there. Want to fight _that_ eagerly? If you do anything stupid now, they'll die immediately."

Natsu gritted his teeth, shooting her a vicious glare, but didn't try to attack.

"Great. Number three: If you mess with a fight that is not yours, we'll kill one of the hostages. And last: We'll fight in the nearby hills. Follow me!"

***

When they finally reached their goal, Natsu was fuming with restrained anger. This girl, Ichika, was eating at his nerves. She was way too cheery and carefree, and nothing seemed to upset her. Yushin was equally frustrating Natsu with his bored and aloof attitude. But the one who was annoying him the most was Bubbles, with his constant denial that he wasn't into Yushin when he obviously _was_.

So somewhere along the way, Natsu had announced that he'd choose Bubbles. Gray had complained because _he'd_ wanted to fight with him, but after a short argument which had been interrupted by Erza, Gray settled for Ichika. That had left the three girls to decide which of them would fight Yushin. It was an easy choice, seeing as Erza was the strongest among them. 

The three hostages who floated behind Bubbles all the time were set down against trees so that they could watch.

The first battle was between Erza and Yushin. They'd agreed one rule: the duels would end if one of them couldn't stand anymore, surrendered, or, in the worst case, died.

Erza had requipped into her most comfortable fighting clothes—the wide red and yellow cloth trouser, her chest covered in bandages. Yushin stood several meters away, watching her with a neutral expression, and gesturing for Erza to make the first move.

She took the invitation and charged towards Yushin with both swords directed at him—when he raised one hand and shouted, "I surrender."

Erza was so taken aback that she tripped over her own feet, and fell face first. When she straightened herself, her face was flushed and her expression bewildered.

"Haha, ohh, sorry, sorry! He's our healer, he never fights! You've won your first duel, congratulations, congratulations!" Ichika announced cheerily.

Bubbles immediately dissipated the bubble around the old lady, who landed on all fours. She stood up with difficulty, but as soon as she was on her feet again, she limped over to Bubbles and hit his head with her cane. "Disrespectful youth, you should learn some manners!"

"Ouch! Ey, ya stupid ol' hag, sit down 'n' watch or d'ya wanna die?"

"Bubbles. Language. Apologize," Yushin ordered, and it was the first time Natsu heard a hint of a bite in his tone.

"Tch. Yeah, sorry, whatever. Next fight, c'mon!"

The next fight was a real one. Gray got to make the first move against Ichika, and he went for an Ice Make: Harpoon. Ichika evaded easily without even moving a muscle - her body just moved on its own, hovering a few meters above the ground. Gray made a surprised sound but then charged at her, intending to attack with a close ranged Ice Make: Fist. She didn't move at all; this time Gray was the one being moved. Instead of approaching her, he was being pushed farther and farer away from her like an invisible wall pushing him backward.

Ichika smiled. "Didn't expect that, did you? My magic can manipulate the relative positions of movable items, including humans. Which basically means I can fly and I can make people and items around me fly as well. I have a hundred meter range. Do you wish to surrender?"

Gray let out a low growl, and in the blink of an eye he'd stripped down to nothing but his boxers. He threw his clothes to Natsu, saying, "Hold onto them, I don't need that bitch using my own clothes against me." Natsu caught them easily, a bit taken aback. Gray could've left them on for once, but who was he to complain? He'd fulfill the task happily. Watching Gray fight while having a source of his intensely good smell so close... Yes, he could definitely imagine worse.

"Oh my, oh my, you're sexy! Wow! Are you trying to distract me?"

"Just you wait and see." Gray took up his Ice Make stance, then shouted, "Ice Make: Cage!"

In the same moment an icy cage appeared around Ichika, and her smile fell. "Oh, wow. Clever one, aren't you? But I can also move the cage, too bad."

A confident smile played over Gray's features. His next move was to create ice rods that connected the cage to the trees and the ground.

Ichika's expression changed very quickly from strained to shocked and finally resigned. When she looked up again, Gray was already clinging to the cage, his right arm encompassed by an icy blade. "Do you wish to surrender, milady?"

Ichika let out a long sigh, then raised her hand, and shouted for everyone to hear, "I surrender." Then, in a lower tone, she added, "You're really a clever one, huh. There has only ever been one mage who defeated me, and he needed much longer than you. I think I like you."

Thanks to his sharp ears, Natsu had heard every word. He needed every ounce of self-restraint not to growl at her.

"Thank you," Gray answered, then he dissipated all his ice and returned to his friends.

Natsu handed him his clothes back, and Gray quickly redressed.

Bubbles released the young adult next. He managed to land gracefully on his feet, then gave Gray a thumbs up and a "Nice one," before striding over to the old lady and sitting down next to her.

Natsu was admittedly a bit tense because of the impending battle since he didn't know what to expect. The fact that his enemy was presumably capable of dissolving a person within seconds made him a bit nervous.

His enemy wasn't so nice as to invite him to make the first move; he just attacked. He stretched out his palm towards Natsu. A small blue ball materialized in it and shot towards Natsu. In response, Natsu shot a flame ball towards it, and when they clashed, they dissipated with a hiss.

Natsu proceeded with attacking. Close-combat with his body on fire was the plan. But his enemy shot dozens of red and blue bubbles in his direction. Natsu hit them with fiery fists, but he soon realized that the red ones contained fire, while the blue ones apparently contained ice. So instead of trying to evade the red ones, Natsu started catching them with his mouth, swallowing them wholly. This caught Bubbles off-guard, and Natsu landed a kick right in his face. Bubbles was sent flying into a tree.

Coughing, Bubbles got back to his feet, then he formed a green ball in his palm, and shot it towards Natsu. Natsu evaded easily, charging towards his enemy for another kick. Bubbles smirked, then formed many green balls. This time it was impossible to evade all of them. So Natsu decided to fend some of them off with his elbows—a grave mistake.

As soon as the first ball came in touch with his fire, it evaporated, but the gas touched his skin, and that freaking _hurt!_ He turned on his heel, but was hit with another two balls while turning, and ran away as fast as he could. However, his left leg gave out after a few steps, and he fell to the floor, face first. He mentally prepared for the pain of being hit by some more balls, but nothing came. They all flew over his head, hitting some trees or the floor in the distance.

All of his teammates shouted his name in horror, asking if he was okay. He tried to sit up to inspect the damage, but his limbs hurt so much. He caught a glimpse of his elbow and was shocked to see a part of his skin, muscle, and bone missing, like a hole in his body. His left leg had been hit by two balls. Fighting down the fear, he turned his body so that he could get a look at his left leg—or rather, at the place where it _should have been_. It was gone, there was only a bleeding stump. An agonizing scream erupted from his throat, and next thing he knew, Gray was there, standing protectively in front of him.

"That's against the rules, stripper! You jus' killed the lil' kid here."

"If you think I'll passively stand by and watch you kill my friend, then you're mistaken, asshole!"

Natsu felt paralyzed. The pain of his limb slowly kicked in, and it was much worse than anything he'd ever experienced. His vision became blurry at the edges, and all the sounds were dull, but he fought it. There was no way he'd let himself become unconscious.

After some moments, he felt his senses sharpen again, and noticed that Wendy knelt over him, crying and working healing magic. Looking around, he found Erza, Lucy, Sagittarius, and Taurus all in fighting stances, but their heads were turned towards Natsu. No, not towards him, he noticed belatedly. They were looking at Gray... Gray, whose whole body was caught in a bubble.

 _'No, no, NO!'_ Gray had his back turned to their enemy, facing Natsu instead. A gentle smile adorned his features, a single tear running down his cheek.

"No! Gray!" Natsu shouted, but it was too late. The bubble popped, and the liquid washed over him. Wendy jumped aside, pulling Natsu with her, trying to prevent them from being hit with stray droplets. He couldn't care less about his own safety just then. All he could do was watch the love of his life dissolve to nothing right before his eyes. He didn't notice he was screaming. He didn't notice that a stray drop hit his already damaged arm. The liquid ate a deep hole into the ground where Gray had been standing a few moments ago.

Natsu crawled towards it, ignoring Wendy's warnings. He leaned over the edge, uncaring that his palm burned at the touch. There was nothing. A deep hole, and nothing else. He turned towards Wendy. "H-help him. Heal him. _Please._ "

But Wendy shook her head, tears streaming down her face rapidly.

Natsu snapped, and then everything happened too quickly. His vision turned red; fire surrounded him, he charged towards Bubbles on one leg and arm, dug his fangs and claws into any part of his body that was in reach. Bubbles was there under him, shouting, begging for his life, but Natsu didn't listen. The next second, Bubbles face turned emotionless and pale while blood pulsed over Natsu's skin. He was dead. Good.

In no time Natsu was back at the spot where Gray had... vanished. He just sat there, staring into the hole disbelievingly. Surely Gray would jump from the next tree soon, saying that he'd created a copy of himself with ice and that he was fine and alive. Or that Natsu's mind had played tricks on him, and that he wasn't wounded at all.

He wasn't _dead_ , he couldn't be. There was a hand on his shoulder, patting him. It was Wendy. Then another, on his other shoulder. Lucy. They had tears in their eyes. Erza was behind him. She was also crying. Carla and Happy were also there, crying. Why was everyone crying? Didn't they know that Gray couldn't just die like this? He would never die like this. Never... He couldn't... Surely he'd... No... He wasn't dead, right? He was fine. He'd come back. Yes. There was no way... Why was everyone crying? And why was he crying as well? Why was he letting himself being pulled into Lucy's arms? Gray wasn't—he... he... wasn't...

"Lucy... Why? Why him, w-why did he..."

"I don't know, Natsu, I can't... b-believe it, that's just..."

Her voice choked off. She trembled. He barely registered that Carla said with a shaky voice, "I'm s-so sorry... I didn't see this coming... it was too blurry."

Natsu didn't know what happened anymore. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Gray was dead. Gone. Killed for money. He died protecting Natsu. Natsu had failed to protect Gray. He was weak, useless. He was feeling nauseous—but it didn't matter. Gray had been his everything, his whole world. How was he supposed to carry on? Without the hope of seeing one of Gray's rare smiles ever again. Without the hope of seeing _Gray_ ever again.

Natsu didn't know how long they sat there. Lucy was still holding him, while he still cried. His leg was still gone. Gray was still dead. His vision turned blurry again, but this time he welcomed it. It narrowed down to a circle, then turned completely black.

***

Natsu awoke with a start, shouting Gray's name. His whole body shook heavily, and he was covered in sweat. Looking down at himself, he noticed that his left leg was still there and that he was in his own bed. _'A dream?'_ Was that why he'd had such a strange feeling—had it all been a bad dream? Or had they somehow recovered his leg and carried him back to Magnolia?

Natsu was out of the bed and on the way to the guild hall in no time at all. He'd dressed hastily, uncaring that his vest was probably inside out, and that his belt wasn't closed properly.

When he reached the guild hall, he kicked the door open. Sitting alone at a table, staring at him in annoyance, was Gray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite line/action of this chapter? What are your thoughts on how the story might continue? Any suggestions (If I like them and they fit into the story, I might use them)?
> 
> Your thoughts on the three OC's? Favorite OC?
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/). For info, updates, and other issues regarding this fic, follow [my 'Rewind' blog](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Next chapter will be released next Sunday~


	2. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Audio (podfic) of this Chapter[here](http://yuurivoice.tumblr.com/post/155787022080/rewind-ch-2-yuurivoice-podfic).**

Natsu was on the bench next to Gray in no time at all, pushing his ear firmly against Gray's chest. His heartbeat was strong and steady—at least for the first few seconds. Gray's pulse elevated rather alarmingly when Natsu got close.

"Natsu! What the hell?!"

Strong arms pushed him back into an upright position. Natsu was kneeling on the bench, his knees resting against Gray's thigh. Gray's face was flushed, and he avoided eye contact, instead staring at Natsu's chest.

"Gray... You're alive," Natsu whispered in disbelief.

Gray lifted his head abruptly. When Natsu found himself staring right into the icy blue eyes of his best friend which were full of confusion right then, it was nearly too much for him to take... To have Gray so close again, to be able to look him in the eyes and see him looking back...

Like in trance, Natsu removed Gray's hands, leaned in, and then wrapped his arms around Gray's torso, pulling him flush against his chest.

"I... I thought you died... I thought I'd lost you... forever."

There was a moment of hesitation, but then Gray's arms came up to rest lightly against Natsu's shoulder blades. It felt intensely good to be in his arms like this. Gray's intoxicating scent, his warmth, his firm muscles pressed against Natsu's body... Natsu felt warm all over, his head fuzzy and light.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Gray asked with an unusually soft tone.

Natsu unintentionally tightened his grip, then answered, "It felt so real. But... I guess it must have been a dream because you're still here."

Yeah, it was the only plausible explanation for the current situation, yet there was still something that wasn't feeling _right_. Had it been a warning? A premonition? Was Gray in danger? Thinking of which, what if—

"Are you ill?"

Gray cocked his head, and although Natsu couldn't see his face, he was sure it said something along the lines of 'did you become crazy?'

"I mean... Your heart."

Natsu was pushed away by the shoulders until they could look each other in the eyes again. Gray's expression was confused and a tad worried.

"Why would you say that? My heart is perfectly fine."

"Sure? Because right now, your pulse is a bit— _ouch! Hey!_ "

His hands came up to cover the back of his head automatically. Gray's cheeks were red and he looked agitated.

"I said _my heart is perfectly fine_ , now if that's all, why don't you go back home and take a shower? You reek."

Natsu flinched. Right. He hadn't taken a shower before coming here, and that meant his last shower had been... when? One day ago? He hadn't taken a shower the evening before since he'd been way too tired from their mission and the fight with Gray on their way back home... Plus he'd sweated in his sleep... He lifted his right arm and sniffed at his armpit, immediately regretting doing so. To think that he'd hugged Gray while reeking like _this_...

 _Oh god. Perfect, just perfect._ For want of a better idea on how to react, he jumped to his feet and wanted to rush back home for a shower, when he noticed the few present guild mates all staring at them. Mirajane, Wendy, and Carla just looked at them open-mouthed, Wendy with a bright blush on her face. Cana had stopped drinking in favor of gawking. Jet and Droy looked at them with a shocked expression while Levy tried to calm them down. Reedus was drawing something at high speed, only stopping when he looked in their direction and noticed that he was being stared at. He was quick to take the canvas down, pushing it against his round stomach, looking flustered. Natsu wondered if he really wanted to know, but decided fairly quickly that he probably didn't. Thankfully Gajeel was still dozing at his table and hadn't noticed what was going on. Natsu was sure he'd never let him live that down otherwise.

Everyone went back to what they'd been doing before, and Natsu felt more exposed and embarrassed than he'd ever felt before.

He made a bee-line for the door, barely registering Happy hovering just over the door frame with a big grin on his face. Happy followed Natsu out of the guild hall and all the way back to their shared flat, keeping up with Natsu's running pace easily.

***

"So... did you two kiss?" Happy asked curiously when Natsu was about to shut the door to the bathroom.

Natsu froze, staring at Happy in disbelief, heat creeping into his cheeks. "Wh-what?!"

"Well... you were hugging when I entered the guild hall and your faces were as red as tomatoes. In the morning you shouted Gray's name and immediately ran to the guild. You didn't even wait for me! So I thought it was something important, and kissing Gray is _very_ important to you."

Natsu very nearly choked on his saliva.

"That's _not_ true!"

He'd never told Happy about his feelings for Gray. How could Happy possibly know such a thing? Had Lucy told him about it? Or worse still, had he figured out by himself? Had Natsu really been _that_ obvious?

Happy cocked his head, genuinely confused. "But you often lick your lips when you stare at Gray's mouth. I thought that means—"

Natsu cut him short by slamming the bathroom door shut and shouting "You're thinking too much!"

He leaned his back against the door and cupped his mouth with both hands, slowly sliding down into a sitting position. Natsu liked to think that he did a good job hiding his feelings, but he wasn't so sure anymore. Who else had figured out? Did Gray know?

_'Oh no. What if he knows and that's why he was so flustered when I got close? Did I make him uncomfortable?'_

And then talking about his heart of all things. Natsu groaned. No wonder Gray had shooed him away that quickly. He banged his head against the door, cursing himself for his stupidity. Once he'd return to the guild, he somehow needed to make up for his behavior... and also apologize to Happy for being rude. But first, shower.

***

When Natsu and Happy reached the guild hall for the second time, Erza and Lucy were already there. They both sat at Gray's table, chatting and laughing. Erza's luggage was stored in a corner of the guild hall—the same corner she'd put it in in Natsu's dream. On second thought, they were all wearing the same clothes as in his dream. Plus everybody was at the exact same spot doing the exact same things they had in his dream—except for Lucy, Erza, and Gray, but that could be because he hadn't been there to make them act the way they had in his dream...

Happy flew off towards the bar almost the second they entered the guild hall, and that was another thing that was identical to his _dream_... Had it really just been a dream? Natsu gulped. It sure had felt real. But everything right then also felt real. Gray was alive and chatting with Lucy about something he didn't bother to listen to at the moment. Natsu brought his hand up to pinch his cheek, flinching when he felt pain. Maybe he shouldn't have pinched _that_ hard. Natsu was utterly confused—and anxious. What if the same thing would happen again? What if this so-called 'dream' had been a premonition? But Carla was usually the one to have those, not him.

Natsu decided to just wait and see. It could be a coincidence. He knew his friends so well that he could probably predict their behavior and their dressing habits. Although he wasn't usually _that_ attentive with such things—except for when it came to Gray of course.

"Natsu! Are you gonna stand over there forever or are you gonna join us?" Lucy shouted, making a beckoning gesture.

Natsu snapped out of his reverie and followed Lucy's invitation, sitting down across from Gray. He tried to catch Gray's gaze in order to tell him silently that he was sorry, that he understood, and that he wouldn't be that pushy again, but Gray wouldn't look him in the eye. And Natsu was probably making him uncomfortable yet again by staring too much. He really was a jerk.

"—right, Natsu?"

He sat upright with a start, staring at Lucy's expectant face. "Uh... yes?"

Lucy lifted her eyebrow warily. "Were you even listening?"

Natsu racked his brains over the conversation he hadn't been following, but he remembered nothing. He sighed, shaking his head apologetically.

Lucy looked like she was about to scold him, but then Gray abruptly stood up, distracting the attention from Natsu. "Excuse me." And with that, he turned around and left the three of them alone, heading for the bar, where he sat down and started chatting with Mirajane and Wendy.

With an equally worried and confused look, Erza and Lucy turned back to Natsu.

"Did you two fight?" Erza asked.

"Not really..." It was the most truthful answer he could think of. He felt like he'd been slapped in the face. Gray turning him down hurt more than it should have—he'd always been expecting and preparing for this kind of reaction after all.

"What do you mean, 'not really'? Did you fight or not?" Erza pushed, but Lucy intervened before Natsu had the chance to answer.

"Geez, don't be so mean, he's obviously having a bad day. Even Natsu has them sometimes after all." Then she made funny facial expressions at Erza, and Natsu nearly asked if she was alright, but then Erza got up, excused herself and went to the bar as well. Their skill to communicate without words really was incredible sometimes.

As soon as Erza was out of earshot, Lucy turned sideways on the bench so that she was facing Natsu. "So... what happened between you and Gray?"

Natsu couldn't help but think that somehow the events were slowly adjusting themselves to fit the timeline of his dream, but he pushed the thought away for now.

"It's... kind of a long story."

"Well, I've got plenty of time; I'm all ears, if you want to share."

After looking around to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, Natsu leaned closer to her, and told her everything about his dream. It took a long time to tell her everything. He didn't leave anything out, not even the very personal fact that he'd cried when he'd been alone with Gray in the woods, which had led to a hug. Lucy listened eagerly, sometimes throwing in a question or two. When Natsu got to the part where their mission started, he grew tenser by the second. Lucy put her hand reassuringly on his when she noticed. It helped him to relax, and he got through the second part of his story without difficulty. He described every detail of their enemies he could remember. However, when he got to the part where his fight with Bubbles begun, he paused, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. Taking a deep breath, he told her about their fight, about his bubble magic, that the red ones were very tasty fire balls, that the blue ones were ice bubbles, and that the green ones contained a corrosive substance that even his fire couldn't neutralize, that he was careless and got himself into trouble.

"... and then... Gray violated the rules and protected me... he... stood in front of me..."

He felt his eyes welling up, but he tried to fight it, tried to tell himself that it wasn't real after all, that Gray was alive and doing well. It didn't do anything to calm him down, but Lucy seemed to get the idea of where this story was heading. She patted him soothingly on the shoulder.

"Shhhh. It's okay, you don't have to say it. Should we leave and go somewhere else?"

Natsu looked around the guild hall, startled to see many worried eyes on them. How long had they been watching? Gray was also looking their way, though he rolled his eyes and turned his back on them when their eyes met. What the hell was wrong with him?

"He still thinks you're in love with me, huh?" Lucy asked in a whisper.

Natsu turned his head sharply towards her. "No. I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that he knows about my feelings," he half whispered. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw that their friends were minding their own business again.

"Did you confess?"

"No, but—"

"Then he doesn't know."

"But—"

"He doesn't. Believe me."

"How would you even know that?"

She let out a sigh. "Call it a woman's intuition or whatever. Just trust me on this."

Natsu eyed her warily, but he couldn’t find any trace of doubt in her expression. No matter how much he struggled with himself over it, he already believed her. Lucy was better at these things than he would ever be. Plus she really was like a sister to him, so how could he not trust her?

But if Gray didn't know about his feelings, then what was his reaction about, earlier?

"So? Staying or leaving?"

Oh, right. He hadn't given her an answer yet. "I think I'd prefer to stay here... If he really thinks we're somehow involved, then leaving the guild together wouldn't do much to disprove that idea."

A small laugh escaped Lucy's mouth. "True. Is your story finished, or is there more to come?"

Taking a deep breath, Natsu decided to just sum the rest up in order not to become emotional again.

"Well, there's a bit more. Gray died, I killed Bubbles, then I cried over his non-existent corpse for some time, maybe an hour, and then I woke up in my bed. I rushed to the guild hall and saw Gray, and I kind of lost control over myself..."

"Oh god, what did you do?"

"I put my ear on his chest to listen to his heartbeat, then hugged him and said I thought I'd lost him forever..."

Lucy blushed, and for a brief moment Natsu thought she was about to say something embarrassing, but in the end she just nodded, prompting him to go on.

"And then I asked him if he was ill; if his heart was okay, since it was beating so qui—ouch! What was that for?"

Lucy's cheeks were flushed brightly by this point, and she slowly lowered the fist that had just hit Natsu's shoulder.

"Please tell me you didn't say that out loud to him."

"Uh, I did..." Natsu said, then added in a sulky tone, "But Gray hit me before I could finish."

"Oh, good. You deserved it."

Natsu was about to jump to his feet and loudly object, but Lucy saw it coming and put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him down as hardly as she could.

"Do you want to draw attention to yourself that badly? I thought this was a _private_ issue. Besides, Gray's looking at us again."

Gray was indeed looking their way. He narrowed his eyes to slits when their gazes met, but didn't turn away. Natsu realized what the position he and Lucy were in looked like. Gray probably thought Lucy was about to kiss him or something equally stupid. To prove him wrong, he took Lucy's wrists, removed them from his shoulders, and pushed them back into her own lap. Then he pointedly turned away from Lucy, folded his arms on the table, and looked at Gray with a defiant expression. Gray's eyes widened, his cheeks turning a light pink. He quickly turned his back on them again, probably hoping that Natsu hadn't seen him blushing.

With a wide grin, Natsu turned back towards Lucy. She looked at him in wonder.

"Wow, that was... I didn't know you were capable of... something close to _flirting_."

Natsu really didn't know if he should feel offended or flattered by that. But before he could think of an answer, the entrance door was kicked open, revealing—yes, again like in his dream—Laxus, Juvia and the Raijinshuu.

"GRAY-SAMAAA!!"

She ran to the bar to hug Gray, but slammed into an ice wall a few steps before Gray, much to Natsu's surprise. She dropped to the floor, rubbing her cheek where it had hit the wall. Gray dissipated it, stood up and offered her a hand, his face grim. Juvia looked up, first at the hand, then at his face, and the sight seemed to make her forget immediately that the reason for her fall had been Gray in the first place. She smiled broadly at him, and let Gray pull her to her feet again, then went for another try at hugging him, squealing while she did so. She was stopped again, this time by Gray's hands grabbing her wrists and pushing her as far away as he could. Juvia struggled for a few seconds, but when the realization that Gray wouldn't allow her to hug him finally sank in, she pouted at him.

"Juvia missed Gray-sama so much! Why can't she hug him?"

Gray narrowed his eyes at her. "Because Gray-sama didn't miss Juvia, and Gray-sama doesn't want to be hugged by Juvia." He tried to imitate her voice, which sounded absolutely ridiculous to Natsu, but it seemed to meet the purpose. Juvia broke out in tears, babbling things like "mean", "unfair", and other things Natsu stopped paying attention to. Gray was looking him right in the eye, a small smile playing on his lips. Then he blinked, averted his gaze, and quickly turned towards the bar again, ignoring Juvia completely.

Natsu simply sat there, staring at Gray's back, trying to process what had just happened. That had gone decidedly differently than anticipated. Lucy's suggestive nudge and wink didn't do much to clear his confusion, and it probably showed on his face.

She rolled her eyes, sighed, and said, "He just made it very clear that he likes you. He flirted back."

Natsu was unable to process the information Lucy had given him, so he ended up staring blankly at her, unmoving.

"Oh, Natsu. Do I need to spell it out for you? Gray loves you. He. Is. In. Love. With. You. All you have to do now is go over there and ask him out or take him somewhere or just _kiss_ mphh—!"

Natsu's hand had come up to cover her mouth on its own volition, and he hoped frantically that Gray hadn't heard that last part because Lucy's voice had become high-pitched nearing the end. Natsu slowly turned his head, hoping to see Gray absorbed in anything that was _not eavesdropping_ , but he didn't have that kind of luck. Like pretty much all of the people present, Gray was staring at him—again—over his shoulder, unmoving. The only sounds that disrupted the silence were Juvia's muffled sobbing and Reedus' paint brush rapidly flying over his canvas. Why did Natsu always attract attention even when he didn't want to?

After a few awkward moments of staring, everyone except for Natsu and Gray returned to their own business, and the noise level slowly went back up to normal. Natsu removed his hand from Lucy's mouth, not knowing how to deal with the current situation.

As soon as she was free, Lucy got up, said, "I'll go comfort Juvia before she floods the guild hall," and left Natsu alone. He wanted to stop her, to call her on what she'd done, but his body wasn't listening. Instead, he buried his face in his hands and rested them against the table. He briefly considered fleeing from the guild hall, but that would make things even more painfully obvious.

Not a minute later, Gray sat down next to him, closer than he usually did. Natsu wasn't ready for this, not at all. Because no matter what Lucy said, how could he ever believe that Gray was interested in him romantically?

"What did you two talk about?"

Natsu didn't lift his head, so his answer was a bit muffled. "Not your business."

"It sounded like you were talking about kissing."

"Hmm."

"Didn't she want to let you kiss her?"

This made Natsu sit up straight in an instant. So Gray hadn't understood what this was about? Oh, thank Mavis.

Gray obviously misunderstood the sudden movement for something else entirely, seeing as a second later he patted Natsu's shoulder with a sad expression on his face. "I'm sorry for you, really. You two are always so close, I was so sure that she's in love with you as well."

And why the hell was Gray trying to comfort him? Wasn't it more like him to poke fun at Natsu for being dumped? At any rate, the current situation wasn't something Natsu enjoyed, and he wanted it to stop. He didn't want the person he loved to comfort him for supposedly being dumped. Plus Gray being honestly sorry for him in such a situation just proved that he did _not_ have any romantic inklings towards Natsu. Otherwise he would be either hurt to know that Natsu was in love with Lucy, or secretly happy that he would have a chance now that Lucy had dumped him. Probably both at once. However, the only emotion in Gray's eyes was honest concern and compassion.

Natsu narrowed his eyes. "Please, leave me alone."

The patting stopped immediately, and a shadow passed over Gray's face. "Oh... Alright."

***

The rest of the morning was uneventful. Lucy scolded him at least ten times for being an idiot and not having the guts to finally confess. Gray ignored him altogether. Juvia recovered eventually, and declared to the whole guild that she wouldn't give up and that she would make Gray fall in love with her somehow. As a reaction she just received a forced smile from Lucy and rolled eyes or shaken heads from the rest of the guild.

Mirajane cooked the same food as in Natsu's dream, which raised his anxiety to the point where his stomach protested with every forkful of food he managed to gulp down. By this point, he had to admit that what he thought had been a dream was in fact something else entirely. He decided to label it 'premonition' for now, in lack of further knowledge.

***

On their way to the train station, Natsu grabbed Lucy's arm, dropping behind a bit so they could talk without being overheard. He told her his fears, and she assured him that they would find a way to save Gray. They would make the fight take a different turn at the end, and besides, Natsu knew that he had to avoid the green balls, so it shouldn't be a problem and he would defeat Bubbles this time. Natsu had to admit that she had a point, and relaxed a bit.

The ride passed without another incident. It was pretty much the same as in his _premonition_ , except that Gray didn't come to him nearing the end of the train ride to thank him, seeing as he hadn't done anything to save him from Juvia.

Natsu behaved in the same way he had in his premonition after they arrived, and so they reached the dugout half an hour after their arrival. Natsu had come to the conclusion that if he tried to change what was happening too much, it would get unpredictable. So he decided on not changing _anything at all_ until the moment came where Bubbles would attack with his green balls for the first time.

He still hoped that their enemies would turn out to be completely different people, and that everything until that point had been a mere coincidence, however improbable that seemed. But when he heard the cheery "Ohh, welcome, welcome! No need to be that hostile, now. Come in, all of you, come in" from the room Erza had entered before them, he buried his hopes.

It was kind of hard to act like he was shocked when he had already heard everything once, but he reminded himself that it was important to act convincingly. Lucy was another story though. She knew only from Natsu's story how she should behave, and she said something different twice, but it turned out not to be a problem. The conversation went slightly different, but the outcome didn't change—they still went to the nearby hills to fight and they still decided on the same pairings for the duels.

However, on the way to the battle grounds Natsu noticed something he hadn't noticed in his premonition: they were being followed. Somebody was jumping from tree to tree in a safe distance. Natsu didn't act on his knowledge though—he didn't want to endanger his plan. He knew that their pursuer wouldn't interfere before Gray died, and thus could be ignored for now.

When they reached their destination, the pursuer used the commotion of everybody settling down to mask the sounds of getting closer and sitting down on a tree roughly fifty meters away from them.

Natsu was so concentrated on their pursuer that he nearly forgot that Gray would toss his clothes soon. However, it turned out that Gray didn't toss them at Natsu, but at Lucy instead. Natsu panicked for a brief second that this would disrupt his plans, but the fight went on like he'd anticipated. Gray caught Ichika in an ice cage, linked the icy cage to the surroundings, and she surrendered.

"You're really a clever one, huh. There has only ever been one mage who defeated me, and he needed much longer than you. I think I like you."

Ah, yeah. Her failed attempt to flirt with Gray. Only this time the answer was a different one. He leaned closer to her, and answered, "Oh, thanks. You're pretty powerful yourself. I like powerful mages."

Natsu didn't see his face, but he could imagine Gray winking at her. His temper was rising, but he fought it. He needed to stay calm. It was his turn to fight, and Gray's life depended on it.

Natsu neutralized the first blue bubble easily with a fireball, like he'd done in his premonition. When he charged towards Bubbles and was met with a bombardment of blue and red bubbles, he didn't try to dodge the red ones, and instead went for swallowing the first one that came into his reach, smirking at Bubbles in triumph. His enemy staggered for a moment, and that was Natsu's chance; he kicked him hard in the stomach. Bubbles was sent flying against a nearby tree, and instead of giving his enemy time to get back to his feet again, Natsu jumped after him immediately, delivering another kick, this time to his face.

He beat Bubbles until he was bleeding all over, neither giving him time to recover nor react. Natsu was in a blind rage, no longer able to think. When suddenly a sharp pain originating from his gut shot through his body, he knew he'd been hit by a green bubble. It didn't stop him from attacking though, delivering hit after hit at Bubble's face and stomach. Another sharp pain in his right arm made him pause for a second before he went back to attacking again, only to notice that he no longer had his right hand to attack.

A feral growl broke free from his throat. He considered ripping Bubble's throat apart with his remaining hand, but he knew he'd never forgive himself for killing an enemy if said enemy hadn't killed anyone _yet_ , even if he knew that he was a threat to Gray's life. There had to be another way to stop him.

The idea that his enemy needed his hands to cast magic came too late. Bubbles had already attacked his left shoulder with another green ball, and Natsu knew before looking that his left arm was no longer attached to his body.

His back hit the ground beneath him hard. He'd failed again. From all the noise around him, the only thing he could hear was Gray's voice shouting his name in horror. His consciousness was slowly fading, but he still realized that Gray was crouching over him, cradling his broken upper body in his arms, freezing his wounds over with ice. There were tears in his eyes, and Natsu wanted nothing more than to wipe them away gently, smile at him and tell him that it was going to be okay. But seeing as he didn't have hands anymore, it was impossible.

There was a yell from somewhere, which made Gray jump to his feet immediately, and a moment later he was caught in a bubble a few meters away from Natsu.

A broken "why..." was the only thing Natsu could manage before his vision narrowed down, and the last thing he saw was Gray's gentle smile and his lips moving, but the words didn't reach Natsu's ears anymore before everything turned black.

***

Natsu slowly came to, and the first thing he noticed was the sharp pain in his shoulder. Wendy was crouching over him with tears in her eyes, casting healing magic on him.

"Where's Gray?" It was the only thing he could think of. Wendy bit her lip, more tears forming in her eyes. She shook her head slowly.

Natsu turned his head to look around. All of his friends stood around him with tears in their eyes. Everyone except for Gray.

Looking harder, Natsu noticed that only two of the hostages were present. There was a hole in the ground where the last one had been before. And another hole very close to him. _Monsters_.

Bubbles was unconscious and tied to a tree nearby, while Ichika and Yushin sat on the ground next to him, both wearing grim expressions and talking with each other. They weren't restrained and didn't look as if they'd been beaten up. Ichika shot a side glance over to Natsu, and when she noticed that he was looking back, she nudged Yushin in the side. They both got up, heading towards Natsu and the others.

Natsu didn't want to interact with anyone, least of all with the people who were responsible for Gray's death. However, his comrades seemed to trust them, since they stepped aside, and even Wendy got up.

Natsu growled at Yushin when he took Wendy's position, putting his hands on Natsu's chest. They started to glow, and Yushin closed his eyes.

After a moment of hesitation, Natsu delivered a kick right into his gut, which knocked all the air out of Yushin's lungs and made him fall backwards.

 _"Natsu! He's trying to heal you!"_ Lucy shouted.

"No, he's fine. He has every reason to doubt us. Bubbles killed your comrade," Yushin replied with an understanding tone. He sat up again, but kept his hands to himself.

"I'm so sorry, Natsu. Killing people was never our intention. Bubbles is short-tempered and he doesn't have full control over his own magic when he's experiencing extreme emotions. He intended to take your friend hostage to force the others to stop fighting, but he lost control. We're deeply sorry."

He and Ichika kneeled down before him, and bowed their heads so low that their noses touched the ground.

Natsu could barely concentrate on what was happening around him anymore. He was lost in his sadness, anger, and self-hatred. If he had just killed Bubbles when he still had the chance! If he had just changed the story a bit more, maybe pairing up Erza with Bubbles, maybe she would have defeated him easily. If only he weren't that stupid to fall for the same thing twice! If he just had prevented them from going on this mission altogether! Gray could still be alive if it wasn't for his _stupidity!_

"I have experience in recovering lost limbs. Bubbles sometimes hurts himself. I know this won't bring your friend back, but please let me heal you."

"Piss off," Natsu hissed. He wanted to be alone. Wanted to wallow in self-loathing. Wanted to atone for what he'd done.

Lucy kneeled down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Natsu. Gray died to save you. Wendy isn't able to recover limbs, but Yushin is. Do you think Gray would want you to refuse treatment? I know it's hard, but please get a hold of yourself! Yushin said he can only do this when you're awake and only within about one and a half hours after you've lost your limbs. That leaves you a little under half an hour. Please, let him heal you. Don't let Gray's sacrifice go to waste."

"I'm alive, so it didn't go to waste," Natsu bit out between clenched teeth. He was about to say more when dizziness overcame him. He tried to fight it, but it was no use. His vision blackened out.

***

Someone near him was shouting as if in pain. When awareness slowly trickled in, he noticed that _he_ was the one shouting. He forced his vocal chords to stop, fighting away the fog of sleep. When he was fully awake, he noticed that he was sweating heavily, his hands firmly entangled with each other, pressed against his naked chest...

 _Hands?_ He jolted upright. Indeed, he had two hands. Looking around, he noticed that he was in his bedroom. His vocal chords felt sore. Just how long had he been shouting?

His door opened with a squeaking sound, and Happy was next to him on the bed the next second, looking at him wide-eyed.

"What's wrong?"

"What day is today?"

"I... I don't know?"

"Just tell me which mission we're going on today!"

Happy flinched at the urgency in Natsu's voice.

"Th-that one where a dark guild has taken a whole town hostage? The one with so many jewels you can buy all the fish in the world..."

Natsu let out a sigh, and buried his face in sweaty palms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite line/action of this chapter? What are your thoughts on how the story might continue? Any suggestions (If I like them and they fit into the story, I might use them)?
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/). For info, updates, and other issues regarding this fic, follow [my 'Rewind' blog](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/).
> 
> See you next Sunday with the next chapter~


	3. Day 3 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful for the support of all of you, with your kudos, bookmarks, comments, and private messages on tumblr! If it weren't for you, writing wouldn't be that much fun!
> 
> There are two precious artists who drew amazing fanart based on this fic!!! You should definitely check them out:  
> [Chapter 1](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/post/153118218123/thatartcorner-for-chiyala-i-wanted-to-draw) by [ThatArtCorner](http://thatartcorner.tumblr.com/)  
> [Chapter 2](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/post/153118201523/f-r-f-t-chiyala-selenba-gray-youre) by [Selenba](http://selenba.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you two so much!!! I'm all fired up now!!! You have no idea how encouraging it is to have fanart drawn on your fic *_* (not to mention it's the first time this happened to me, and then I got TWO in one day!!! I still can't believe it!!)
> 
> **Podfic of this Chapter[here](http://yuurivoice.tumblr.com/post/156613135850/rewind-ch-3-yuurivoice-podfic) (read by YuuriVoice).**
> 
> Have fun with this chapter <33

"Natsu? What happened?"

Natsu looked at Happy's confused face, wondering if he was the only one who could remember, the only one who had these kinds of... well, rewinds. This was the third time, and now Natsu was sure that the other two times hadn't been dreams—a dream wasn't that detailed, didn't feel that real. The most logical explanation seemed to be that time had turned back—twice. He'd been given a second, and now a third chance to save Gray's life. And he'd be damned if he allowed Gray to die for a third time; this time he'd protect him for sure.

"Happy... Don't you remember anything?"

Happy cocked his head.

"We were already there. On that mission you just told me about. We've been there, we fought, we defeated two of our enemies, and the last one ... killed Gray. Do you really not remember _anything_?"

Happy stared at Natsu in concern.

"Are you alright, Natsu? I think Wendy should check your head."

That was a clear _no_. Well, if he was the only one who could remember, then Gray's life depended on him alone. How to go on about it? Try it a third time and be sure to defeat Bubbles this time? _No._ He'd already fucked up twice. Refusing to go on the mission altogether seemed like the safest way. Then Gray wouldn't meet Bubbles at all and thus couldn't be killed by him. To convince Erza and the others of his idea would be a difficult task, but Natsu was sure he could come up with something before he'd arrive at the guild.

"Natsu?"

He snapped out of his reverie. "Oh. No, I'm okay. Must've been a bad dream. Sorry for worrying you."

Happy looked at him warily, but when Natsu flashed him a bright smile, he smiled back, nodded, and left Natsu alone with his morning routine.

***

Happy tried to talk with Natsu several times on their way to the guild hall, but when he only got grunts and monosyllabic answers, he gave up eventually.

Natsu had come to the conclusion that telling everybody the truth was probably for the best. He was bad at lying anyway. The best excuse he could come up with was that he wasn't feeling well, which would be highly suspicious since he didn't look ill and wasn't exactly the whiny type. Plus, Wendy could easily heal him. Not to mention she'd find out that there was nothing wrong with him in the first place when she tried to heal him.

He knew it would probably be hard to convince the others if nobody besides him remembered, but he would have to rely on their trust in him. There was also the issue that he needed to find appropriate surrogates to go on the mission in their stead. Well, at least in his and Gray's stead, since there was no way he'd separate from Gray in such a situation. Erza, Lucy and Wendy could still go. Maybe it was enough if the three of them went alone. Wendy could 'fight' against Yushin, meaning she wouldn't have to fight at all. Who would be a good enemy for Ichika...? Gray's method of defeating her wasn't something anybody else could copy. But since Erza was very creative and strong, Natsu was sure she'd find a way. Lucy could use Aquarius to fight Bubbles. She could float away his attacks, maybe even float them back and hurt him with his own attacks, at least where the green bubbles were concerned. That could actually work.

When they reached the guild hall, Natsu was in high spirits. He took in the sight of Gray sitting at his usual table, unharmed, and went to sit next to him. Gray ignored him in favor of playing with his glass and the water in it, freezing and melting it over and over again. Natsu didn't mind being ignored for now.

He didn't need to look to know that Happy headed straight towards the bar to chat with Carla. Things were going the exact same way as the previous two times. The people present were the same, they wore the same clothes, they were doing the same things, looking the same degree of exhausted. It should have already been obvious the second time, but Natsu knew that Lucy was right when she said that he could be dim-witted at times. It didn't matter now. Everything was back to normal and his options to change things were endless. He would wait for Lucy and Erza to arrive, and then jump on the table, or maybe the bar where he could face everyone, and tell them what was going on.

Natsu rarely bothered to check the clock, but this time he thought it could be useful—just in case. Erza arrived at 7:50 with her luggage, and Lucy at 7:55, yawning. He waited until the two girls had taken a seat opposite of them and the morning greetings were done with before making his way over to the bar and jumping on it. He ignored Mirajane's protests that she'd just cleaned it and he was making it dirty again.

"Listen up, I've got something to tell y'all!"

The guild hall went quiet in an instant, all eyes focusing on him, some with a worried expression, Gray with an eye-roll, and some with confusion written all over their faces.

"This is the third time I'm experiencing the same day. Is there anyone else here who remembers the last two times or _anything_?"

A murmur broke out, but all Natsu heard was confusion. Nobody seemed to have any recollection of the previous two times whatsoever.

"Okay, obviously not. The last two times, something on our mission went terribly wrong—somebody died, and we need to prevent that from happening again."

Lucy shrieked, and the noise level rose again.

"Who was it?" Erza shouted over the noise.

Natsu closed his eyes for a brief moment, steeling himself. Then he opened them again, fixing his gaze on Gray.

There was a second of complete silence, and then Gray's eyes widened in disbelief and horror. "If you think that's funny, then let me tell you, it's _not."_

Natsu had expected as much. His expression was grim, and his eyes never left Gray's when he shook his head. "I really wish it wasn't true. When I saw you die the first time, I completely lost my mind, and I... I killed the man who..."

Natsu's throat constricted. Swallowing proved to be nearly impossible.

"The second time I was unconscious when you died." Natsu averted his gaze, his eyes glued to the floor in front of the bar. He lowered his voice. "You died because of me. Because I was too weak to defeat my enemy. You gave your life to save mine. Twice..."

When he hesitantly looked back up, Gray gaped at him. Natsu's vision was slightly blurry, so he blinked it clear.

"I won't let that happen again. Call me a coward, but you and I won't go on that mission today."

Erza jumped to her feet, looking troubled. "Why don't you use your knowledge to your advantage and counter his attacks? If you know exactly how he'll fight, then you should be able to beat him easily."

Natsu's shoulders slumped. "I thought so, too. The second time I thought I could win easily because I knew his magic, but I lost control. I was so afraid of... well, you know. I wasn't able to think anymore, and he defeated me again. I lost a leg the first time, and my right hand and left arm the second time. Why should the third time be any different? I just don't want to take that risk."

"That's understandable. Then what's your suggestion?" Erza asked.

"I suggest you three go alone. I'll tell you everything about their behavior, their magic, and how to deal with them. I'm pretty sure Lucy can defeat that enemy with Aquarius. I suppose water is much better against him than my fire."

Erza nodded, beckoning Natsu to come back to their table. The rest of what he had to say wasn't something everybody present needed to know, so he followed her demand. However, his guild mates had other plans. Everyone crowded around their table, offering help, sharing concerns, coming up with ideas on how to fix things, even if they didn't know much about the situation. It was nice of them, but it wasn't exactly helpful. Besides, too many people were talking at the same time, so Natsu couldn't understand half of the things they said. 

Erza put an end to the chaos by hitting the tabletop with her armored hand. "Stop it, all of you. I know how you feel and it's nice to offer your help, but for now please leave us alone so that we can make plans and work things out. I promise, if there's anything we need anyone's help with, I'll let you know right away."

Reluctantly, everyone got back to what they'd been doing before—except for Wendy, Carla and Happy, who stayed at the table since it concerned them as well. They still got worried side glances, but nobody bothered them anymore.

While Natsu told them every little detail about their enemies, their magic, their fights and everything else that mattered, Gray listened in silence. When Natsu got to the part where he'd lost his limbs and Gray had protected him, Gray lowered his head so that his hair blocked the view of his face. He also didn't take part in the following debate on how to deal with Ichika. Erza reluctantly admitted that she wouldn't be able to lay a finger on Ichika if she could control the positions of anything that wasn't bound to earth, trees, or anything else unmovable. They would need somebody who could use Maker Magic to beat her. Lucy said that Levy could probably do the same thing with her Solid Script, or Gajeel could attach himself to a tree while fighting by extending his limbs, and try to catch and fix her to a tree or the ground. 

"Maybe Freed could catch her in a rune cage, but he's still on another mission," Wendy mused.

"He'll be back from his mission soon," Natsu explained, looking at the clock. He didn't know when they would arrive, but it had to be in less than half an hour. "Maybe around nine o'clock...? So we could ask him, if we think he's the best choice."

Erza let out a sigh. "I personally think that Gajeel is the best choice. How about you?"

Natsu looked over his shoulder, not surprised to see Gajeel sitting at his table, smirking to himself. He'd probably overheard the whole conversation. Well, at least Natsu wouldn't have to explain everything again if they decided on taking Gajeel with them.

Everyone nodded approvingly, and before they had the chance to call Gajeel over, he was already sitting next to Gray.

"I heard there's an enemy to crush," he said with a cocky grin, his arm resting on Gray's shoulder.

While the others started making plans about their strategy, Gray still didn't show any reaction whatsoever. Natsu was getting more and more worried, until he couldn't stand it anymore and kicked Gray's shin under the table lightly. Gray lifted his head slowly, and Natsu gulped, wondering what kind of reaction he would get. His heart clenched when he was met with Gray's blank stare. He'd been ready to deal with anger, sadness, confusion, offence, or literally any emotion on Gray's part, but this? It was so much worse.

"Natsu and I aren't required for this anymore, right?" Gray asked, not taking his eyes off Natsu.

"Since you won't come with us and Natsu described everything in detail... I think you're not required at the moment, but we might come up with more questions, so please don't go too far," Erza answered.

Without saying another word, Gray got up and left the guild hall. Natsu was dumbfounded and motionless for a moment, wondering if that meant that Gray wanted him to follow or if he wanted to be alone right now. Lucy rammed her elbow into his side, shooting him an angry glare while nodding towards the door.

He was up and out of the guild hall in an instant. Happy tried to follow, but Lucy grabbed his paw and told him to stay.

Gray waited outside, and upon seeing Natsu emerge, he took off in the direction of the place where they usually fought. Natsu didn't hesitate to follow this time.

When they reached the edge of the clearing, Gray stood still abruptly, his back turned towards Natsu. Not knowing how to handle the situation, Natsu stopped close to a tree, a few meters away from Gray, waiting for him to start talking, or maybe hit Natsu or yell at him.

After a moment of silence, Gray turned around, his expression carefully neutral.

"Don't you care that you're endangering Lucy's life?"

"What? I'm not _endangering_ her life, I'm _believing_ in her!"

"And what makes you so sure that the same thing won't happen again, just with Lucy instead of me? Maybe it'll be Erza to protect her, but that doesn't make it any better."

"It was _my_ fault that I got hurt. My mistake, my carelessness, and the second time, my temper. Lucy won't make those mistakes, I'm sure of that. And I really think that Aquarius is a good counter against him."

"Then why didn't you suggest we go with them and stay out of the fight, just to be able to protect anyone who gets in danger?"

Natsu hung his head low, whispering, "I'm not sure I would be able to control my temper. This man killed you twice already, and I killed him for it the first time. I'm afraid I'll try to rip him apart right away, and it'll endanger you again and possibly the others and the hostages as well."

Gray grabbed Natsu by the scarf, shoved him against the nearest tree, and shouted, "What the _hell_ is wrong with you, Natsu?! What happened to your 'I'll crush any enemy no matter how strong' attitude?"

Despite Gray's volume, Natsu answered calmly, "Nothing. It's just that my 'protect the people who are dear to you no matter what' attitude has always been stronger. And if that means to skip a fight, then so be it."

Gray's grip loosened, and his angry expression faltered in favor of a surprised, yet touched one. Gray averted his eyes, and Natsu could hear his heart rate picking up.

"Did I... say something before I died?"

"You said a bunch of things, like—"

"No. The moment when I knew I was going to die. You said there were a few seconds between me being caught in that bubble and me actually dying. Did I say something... to you?"

Gray's heart was beating incredibly fast, his cheeks were flushed, and he was still avoiding eye contact. He was nervous. Did he fear that he'd said something stupid right before dying? What would that be? What would Natsu say if he knew he had only a second left to live?

_'If Gray was near, I think I'd confess... Does that mean...? Is Lucy right after all?'_

"Uh... The first time, you said nothing... You just... smiled at me. The second time, you smiled and said something, but I didn't hear any of it since I lost consciousness the same second. Why would you even smile when you know you're going to die?"

Gray finally met his eyes again, and it was the softest expression he'd ever seen on his face. Natsu's breath caught in his throat, and suddenly he was hyperaware of just how close their faces were.

"If I knew that my death would save your life, then I could die without regrets."

Was Natsu imagining things or was Gray's face slowly coming closer?

"D-don't say such things... so casually... as if it's no big deal, throwing your life away like that."

Gray's face was indeed coming closer, and by now Natsu could _feel_ his exhales on his lips.

"But it's not thrown away if it saves the life of the one who's most precious to me."

Gray probably meant to make Natsu happy with this, but the effect was the exact opposite: It made him furious. Before their lips could meet, he pushed Gray away brusquely, knocked him to the ground, and pinned his wrists down beside his head, straddling his hips.

"If that was meant to be a love confession, let me tell you, it was a bad one. If you loved me, you'd think about my feelings as well, and what do you think having you die right in front of my eyes would do to me? Can you imagine what it feels like to know your death was my fault? To have to live on with that guilt and regret? Do you even care? Because to me it sounds like you're only thinking about your own feelings. If you really loved me, you'd want to _live_ to make me happy and let me make you happy day after day... If _that's_ what you think love is, then I don't want it! Throwing away your life for mine... How... How could you possibly think I'd... appreciate something like that? Losing you... f-forever..."

Natsu felt his eyes welling up again as the memories of Gray dying replayed in his mind. Usually he would feel embarrassed about crying in front of Gray, but right now he was too upset to care. Gray was an idiot. An insensitive, suicidal—

"Natsu."

—selfish, ignorant—

"Natsu!"

—uncaring idiot.

_"Natsu!"_

With a jolt, Gray threw him sideways onto his back, pinning his wrists to the ground.

"I'm sorry. That was a thoughtless thing to say, and it came over completely wrong. I would _never_ choose death over life if there was another solution."

"Then why did you do that?!"

"I can't give you a proper answer because I don't remember a thing. But if I'd thought there was any other chance for the both of us to survive, then I promise you I would've taken it."

"You didn't though!"

Gray let out an unhappy sigh. "How much time did I have to react?"

"I... I don't know... The first time I was fighting not to lose consciousness, and I didn't see it happening, you were just... suddenly in that bubble... And the second time... maybe half a second..."

The memory was too painful. Natsu felt a tear breaking free from his eye, unable to fight it down.

"I'm sorry. That must've been a horrible experience for you. If I saw you die... I'd probably lose my mind. Though I don't think I can really understand what it must feel like to be in that situation... But I'm sure there was no other way. I'm sure I must've thought there was only the choice between me dying or you dying. And my choice in such a situation will always be the same. Because the wish to protect your future is stronger than my will to live."

_"Then your will to live isn't strong enough in the first place!"_

Gray punched the ground right next to Natsu's head so hard that his fist pressed the grass into the soil, leaving a small hole behind.

"Then tell me what you would do if you were in my position! If you had only two choices, either die and save me, or let me die!"

Natsu couldn't hold Gray's angry stare any longer. He knew that Gray was right, that he was being unreasonable and childish.

"Answer me!"

Natsu bit his lower lip, forcing his eyes to meet Gray's again.

"I'd do the same thing... for you." There was a lump in this throat that wouldn't go away no matter how many times he swallowed.

Gray's hand came up to cup Natsu's cheek and wipe away his tears. Gray's expression had gone from angry to soft in a heartbeat, and Natsu found himself at a loss of how to react. He couldn't get the pictures of Gray dying out of his head, but at the same time he felt warm and safe and _happy_. He shouldn't let something that wasn't going to happen ruin the moment.

Gray seemed to have reached the same conclusion. "Then... can we stop fighting over this and just be happy that we're both alive and well?"

Rubbing his eyes dry, Natsu banished all thoughts besides the one that Gray was _right there with him_. When he opened them again, he found himself staring right into icy blue eyes that told him without a word how much he meant to Gray. He couldn't help but smile. Gray blushed and took his bottom lip between his teeth, appearing much more nervous than a few seconds ago. Natsu's attention was inevitably drawn to Gray's lips by the motion, and his tongue came out to lick his lips of their own volition. Gray hesitated, then leaned down and kissed Natsu while lacing their fingers together.

The kiss was slow, hesitant, and one-sided at first, and Natsu feared his heart might combust. Gray's lips were _so_ soft, and it was so much better than every of the thousands of imaginary kisses they'd shared so far. Natsu needed a few seconds to overcome his insecurities, but when he did, he reciprocated, and soon the kiss grew more intense.

Gray let go of Natsu's hands in favor of running his own through Natsu’s hair and caressing his cheeks, his ears, his neck. Natsu put his hands on Gray's shoulder blades and pulled him down until their chests were touching and Gray rested all his weight on him. It felt incredibly good to feel their bodies pressed so close against each other's, to feel Gray's weight against his chest.

When Gray's tongue touched his lips for the first time, Natsu jerked in surprise. The tongue and Gray's weight vanished immediately, and Natsu found himself met with a worried and apologetic look.

"No. Sorry. It's fine, I just didn't expect that, but I like it. Please keep going."

Smiling tenderly, Gray leaned down again. Natsu's eyes fluttered shut, expecting to be kissed in the next moment, but Gray paused a millimeter before their lips touched, whispered sensually, "prepare for more," and then closed the gap between their lips.

Natsu's head started spinning when he thought about what Gray meant by 'more', but as soon as their kiss deepened and Gray's weight was back on his chest, he lost the ability to think altogether.

If somebody asked them later how much time they'd spent rolling on the grass, hugging and kissing each other senseless, he wouldn't be able to tell. It had to be somewhat between ten minutes and two hours. The best, most intense ten minutes to two hours of Natsu's life so far. They didn’t say a single word during that time, and their lips never parted for more than a few seconds when they'd rolled over, switching positions.

Now they were silently staring at each other, with Natsu sitting astride Gray's hips. Their tongue kisses had been clumsy at the beginning, but they'd worked out a good technique together. Also, Natsu found out that he really enjoyed nibbling at Gray's lips and vice versa. Gray liked it as well, and that was probably the reason why their lips were slightly swollen.

Gray grinned. "I didn't think you're such a good kisser. Do you have experience?"

Natsu narrowed his eyes. "Why would I have?"

"Well, maybe with Lucy—"

"Seriously? You're still on about that? After all we just did?"

Gray pushed Natsu gently off his hips, then sat up so that their faces were level with each other's. "No, I'm not. Not anymore anyway. I just wanted to tease you a bit. See your reaction. At least now I understand why you always became so angry when I suggested you were into Lucy."

Natsu brought his face closer to Gray's, a cocky smile playing on his lips. "You were jealous of Lucy all this time!"

Gray blushed, but he didn't look away. "Of course I was, idiot..." He swallowed, suddenly looking more nervous than before. "So you've never... uh, not even in the past, you know... felt something for her?"

"And you are _still_ jealous! That's adorable."

"Sh-shut up. Just answer the question."

"Aww, Graaay, so bossy."

Gray's blush intensified, and he clenched his hands. Natsu knew that if he teased Gray any more, he'd surely be smacked for it, so he decided that it was enough. Time to put his cards on the table.

Natsu reached out and cradled Gray's face, his thumbs brushing over Gray's cheeks.

"I've been in love with you since I was twelve or thirteen. Or maybe even before that, I don't know. I can't really tell when it started. What I know is that I've been in denial for years, and that it was your sixteenth birthday when I finally admitted to myself that there was more than rivalry and friendship. I can still remember it clearly. I got you a present for the first time, and you didn't expect one from me. You were surprised at first, but then you smiled so brightly..."

Thinking about that day made Natsu feel the same emotions all over again: Surprise, realization, embarrassment, and finally, panic. His hands were trembling and sweating, and he was about to pull them back since he didn't want to wet Gray's cheeks, but Gray caught his wrists as soon as the contact was gone. His eyes said that it was okay, that Natsu should keep them where they were, and that he should go on. So he left them on Gray's cheeks, albeit embarrassed.

"I knew then. I hoped it didn't show, but inside I was panicking," Natsu confessed.

"Your face turned completely red and your smile looked forced. You were really jumpy the whole day. But other than that, it didn't show." Gray smirked, and this time Natsu removed his hands for real.

"Wh-whatever! I've been trying to hide it from you for the past three years. Lucy's arrival didn't change anything. She found out half a year ago, and since then she's urged me constantly to make a move on you. Honestly, I was so glad to finally have somebody to talk to about my feelings."

Instead of answering, Gray leaned in for another kiss, slow and tender. Natsu's anxiety and nervousness faded, a warm and happy feeling taking over instead as he melted into Gray's touch.

When they parted, a streak of saliva stretched between their mouths, which Gray broke hastily, looking flustered. He cleared his throat, and then locked eyes with Natsu.

"I wasn't in love with you when I turned sixteen, but I noticed your weird behavior, and I couldn't stop wondering what it was about. I think it started then. I observed you whenever you weren't looking, just out of curiosity. I saw you blushing once or twice over small things that day, and I'd never seen you blush like that before. I couldn't stop wondering what was bothering you, and before I knew it, you and your stupid blush were on my mind way more often than I liked. I tried to play it off as concern, as a normal thing between friends, but deep down I knew that things were changing. I often found myself staring at you, lost in thoughts. Then I started having those dreams in which we were hanging out with each other, talking, laughing. They slowly changed into dreams of holding hands, kissing, hugging... I tried to fight the feeling until about a year ago... I noticed it was too strong and it wasn’t going to change or go away, so I gave up and accepted it. I just never thought I had a chance against Lucy, and I would've been prepared to support your relationship."

That last sentence struck a chord with Natsu.

"You really were, huh. Yesterday—ah, I mean the previous time this day happened, you thought Lucy dumped me, and you seriously tried to comfort me... There was no trace of schadenfreude in your eyes. You were concerned about me and nothing else."

Gray's expression turned sad again. He gulped before answering, "Yeah. It would've killed me inside, but your happiness is more important to me than my own. So, if you had been happy, I'd have done anything to support the two of you. I'd even be your best man at your wedding..."

The thought of that was incredibly painful. Him, marrying Lucy, with Gray as his best man, suffering silently. Natsu didn't think that he would ever be able to do the same thing for Gray if he were to choose Juvia or _anyone_ that wasn't Natsu. He would've been jealous constantly, and probably also acted upon those feelings. Sighing, he dropped his head, leaning his forehead against Gray's shoulder.

"I don't deserve you," he mumbled.

"Yes you do. And anyway, there's nothing you can do to get rid of me now. I... I love you..."

Warm arms wrapped around Natsu's shoulders and pulled him close until their chests were touching. Hearing those words... they warmed Natsu in ways he'd never experienced before. Finally being able to hold and kiss Gray like he'd always wanted... how had he gotten so lucky?

Natsu lifted his head and nudged Gray's nose. "I love you, too, my ice princess."

Gray blushes furiously. "He-hey! I'm not your fucking _princess!_ "

"Ohh? But you look so _cute."_

Gray let out a growl, and in no time at all Natsu found himself being pinned to the ground, with an equally flustered and angry looking Gray on top of him. A second later Gray's expression turned into a defiant one.

"Want me to show you a side of me that's the exact opposite of _cute?"_

As if Natsu could ever turn down something that sounded like a challenge. "Bring it on." He thought he'd either be challenged to a real fight or a fight for dominance in kisses, but never would he have expected what Gray did next: Lowering his head to suck lewdly on the sensitive skin of Natsu's throat and grinding his hips against Natsu's. Not that Natsu didn't want it or had never thought about it—he definitely had, on a quite regular basis to be honest—but this was a bit too rushed for his liking. He pushed Gray's hips away, trying to escape his lips at the same time. Gray understood and jumped to his feet immediately.

When Natsu sat up and searched Gray's face, he found that Gray had his mouth covered with both hands, staring at Natsu wide-eyed and ruefully.

"I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It's too soon. I should've—"

Natsu jolted up and clasped the front of Gray's shirt.

"Don't treat me like that just because we're a couple now! I didn't become weak just because I kissed you or because I confessed my feelings! If you're doing something I don't like, you bet I'll tell or show you, so don't you dare treat me like I'm made of porcelain! And besides"—Natsu's lips quirked into a mischievous smile—"you're rather hard down there, so I'll just take it as a compliment."

"You're pretty hard, yourself."

 _"What I was trying to say is_ , it's nice that you're considerate of my feelings, but don't go overboard. I've never been one to crack easily. I like the way we treat each other, so don't you dare go easy on me from now on."

Gray grinned, and that special glint in his eyes that was always there whenever he taunted Natsu was back. "You like it the hard way, huh? Very well, I won't go _easy_ on you."

Natsu wanted to give a sassy retort, but before he could get anything out, somebody cleared their throat. Natsu let go of Gray's shirt, turned around and froze at the sight of Lucy, standing a few meters away from them, her face bright red, and her eyes glued to the ground. He hadn't noticed her at all. He'd been too distracted by Gray.

"I... sorry. I was waiting for a good moment to... uh, interrupt, b-but..." She cleared her throat again, still not looking them in the eye. "W-we have a few more questions and it would be good if you could come back to the guild... And congratulations! I was worried you two would never get your shit together."

She whirled around, but Natsu was by her side in an instant, grabbing her arm, preventing her from leaving. "How? How did you know? Of Gray's feelings, I mean."

Lucy looked over her shoulder, locking her gaze on Natsu. "Oh, _please_. Everybody who has eyes knew it. Except Juvia, for obvious reasons... and Gajeel I guess, but he's also kind of dumb when it comes to this kind of thing."

"Was I really _that_ obvious?" Gray asked, sounding embarrassed.

Lucy craned her neck a bit so she could see past Natsu and look Gray in the eye. "You were both so obvious and oblivious at the same time it hurt. Do you know how hard it was for me and all the others to control the urge to just bang your heads together and shout 'now kiss'? You're both so stupid sometimes... Well, whatever, it's settled now. Anyway, we don't have much time before our departure, so you'd better come with me now, or Erza will make sure you regret it."

The mention of Erza never failed to have the desired effect, and the three of them made their way back to the guild hall without further delay.

On the way back, Natsu thought about whether they should tell their guild mates that they were a couple now, wondering what Gray would want. He didn't want to ask Gray, since it was kind of embarrassing with Lucy in earshot. He'd just wait and see how Gray would behave and accept whatever decision he made. Natsu didn't mind either way. He could keep it a secret for a while longer, but he'd also very much like to shout it out for everyone to hear, stake his claim on Gray so that nobody would ever get the _idea_ of pursuing his _boyfriend_. Or, in Juvia's case, stop pursuing the idea of something more than friendship with Gray.

Thinking of which, she was surely already back from her job and waiting for _Gray-sama_. A low growl escaped his throat at the thought. There was no way he'd stand by passively while Juvia was trying to hug Gray. He hoped that Gray's behavior would resemble the one of the previous repetition of the day. Otherwise he'd have to interfere.

"Natsu? Are you alright?" Lucy asked.

Natsu wanted to ask why she thought that he wasn't, but then noticed that his fists were clenched tightly, and that his arms were trembling. He relaxed his muscles.

"Yeah, alright."

Lucy and Gray shot him a worried look, but neither said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave some kind of feedback :)


	4. Day 3 Part 2

Natsu had been right to assume that Juvia would try to jump at Gray first thing after they arrived at the guild hall. He was lucky though that Gray indeed reacted in the same way he had the last time. Only this time he didn't create an ice wall to fend her off, but instead stretched out his hands to grab Juvia's shoulders before she could hug him.

"Stop it, Juvia. I'm not in love with you and never will be."

"B-but how can Gray-sama know that? Maybe if Juvia tries harder—"

"There's someone else I'm in love with."

Juvia's eyes widened in shock, but she recovered quickly. "Who is it? Juvia can change herself so she looks more like the person you love. Is it Lucy? Juvia can dye her hair blonde, and she can start wearing slutty clothes—"

 _"Shut it!_ You can't ever be like another person! Just be yourself and I'm sure you'll find somebody who loves you just the way you are... Besides, you should apologize to Lucy."

Lucy's face was indeed bright red, her eyes narrowed to slits, and if looks could kill, Juvia would be dead already.

"Juvia doesn't apologize to somebody who's stealing her Gray-sama!"

"I'm not _yours_ and nobody stole me!"

"But—"

That was enough. Natsu pushed himself between Gray and Juvia and shoved her back, glowering.

"I believe he said _no_."

"Natsu-san? This is not your business, so please stay out of it."

At the same time, he felt a hand being put on his shoulder from behind, and then Gray said, "That's really not necessary; I can handle this by myself."

Natsu turned around sharply, glowering at Gray instead. "Oh yeah? Well, she obviously doesn't get it if you do it _your way_." And with that, he shoved Gray into the nearest wall, caging him in, and took his mouth with ferocity. He noted with satisfaction that Juvia shrieked, but it didn't stop him from kissing Gray with even more passion. Gray brought his hands up to clutch weakly at Natsu's shoulders, and Natsu could tell that Gray's legs were about to give in, so he intensified the pressure against his body to keep him upright.

When Natsu pulled back, Gray's face was flushed, and there was a streak of saliva hanging from the corner of his mouth. Natsu smiled fondly, then wiped it away with the back of his hand, turning towards Juvia again.

"Don't you get it already? He doesn't belong to _anybody_ , but he's _chosen_ to be with _me_. If you don't stop harassing him, I swear I'll take you on."

Juvia sank to the floor, an aghast expression on her face. "G-Gray-sama... That's not true, is it? Natsu-san just forced the kiss on Gray-sama, right?"

Natsu felt the urge to punch her right then and there, but Gray's arms coming around his chest and the weight of his head settling onto his shoulder calmed him down somewhat.

"Natsu would never do such a thing. I've been in love with him for over three years, and you're never gonna change that. Besides, if you truly loved me, you would want me to be happy. I'm happy now, so please give up."

To top his speech off, Gray craned his neck to rub his cheek against Natsu's. Natsu wanted to purr, but caught himself before a sound could escape.

Juvia's eyes welled up, and Natsu tried to bring himself to feel sympathy, but right now he just couldn't. It wasn't that he disliked Juvia as a person, but he very much disliked her attitude towards Gray. She was a strong woman who had earned his respect with her intelligence and bravery. She didn't hesitate to protect any member of Fairy Tail in a fight, and she was very loyal. However, he wouldn't have anymore qualms with putting her in her place when it came to Gray, now that he knew how Gray felt.

Craning his neck, Natsu pressed a quick kiss to Gray's cheek, and whispered, "Let's continue this later. I think I have some questions to answer right now."

Gajeel was trying to poke fun at the two of them, but Erza interrupted him, saying that he should focus on the upcoming mission.

It turned out that nobody could fully concentrate on the things that were important for their mission, so some questions were asked twice, but Natsu patiently answered every single one of them as best as he could.

When they finished talking, it was time for lunch.

Juvia had fled the guild a short while after Gray's and Natsu's public display of affection, and it wasn't after everybody was finished with their lunch that Natsu's nose caught her scent again. She leaned against the half open entrance door, peeking inside with one eye. She looked straight at Natsu, no hint of anger or hate in her eyes.

Natsu sighed, then got up to leave the guild hall for a bit to see what she was up to. Gray looked at him in confusion and got up as well, but Natsu shook his head and motioned him to sit down again and wait.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Juvia dropped to her knees and bowed her head so deeply her face touched the ground. Natsu distantly noted that it started to rain.

"J-Juvia is so sorry. Juvia has thought about it, and she's realized that her behavior was wrong. Juvia is sorry that she accused Natsu-san of forcing a kiss on Gray. Juvia wants Gray to be happy, a-and when Gray hugged Natsu-san, he looked s-so happy... Juvia has never seen Gray smile like that. S-so... please, take good care of him."

She sat up and met Natsu's eyes. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, and this time Natsu felt truly sorry for her. He could only imagine the pain of losing the one you loved to somebody else.

"A-and please... accept my apology." She bowed deeply again. Natsu belatedly realized that she'd referred to herself in the first person. She was dead serious then.

"Get up."

Juvia looked up hesitantly, but when Natsu gave a small nod, she complied. Natsu stepped closer and pulled her into a hug. A surprised sound escaped Juvia's throat, but after the first shock she leaned her head against Natsu's shoulder, her hands coming up to clutch at Natsu's vest. A sob broke free from her throat, and Natsu patted her head, hoping it would comfort her a bit. Judging by the heavy rainfall, it didn't work.

"I'm sure that if Gray had ended up with you, I wouldn't have been able to accept it. I had some plans in my head on how to drive a wedge between Gray and you if you ever were to end up as a couple. So, it's not my place to judge you. I'm just lucky that Gray chose me. And of course I'll take care of him."

The fabric on his shoulder was getting soaked, both with rainwater and tears, but he didn't mind. Juvia had just done the bravest and most selfless thing.

When her tears subsided a minute later, Juvia stepped back and bowed. She asked him to go back inside and send Lucy out so she could apologize to her as well for her rude comment earlier.

Natsu nodded and went inside without another word. It was an automatic reaction to dry himself with his flames as soon as he was inside again. He found Gray and Lucy standing at the front window, Lucy with a blush on her face, and Gray pouting at him.

"Lucy, please go to her, she wants to tell you something."

Lucy nodded and made her way out, leaving him and Gray alone. Natsu closed the distance between them with a few quick steps, and then leaned against the window frame next to Gray, risking a look outside. Indeed, he could see the most part of Juvia and a glimpse of Lucy. They were too close to the façade to be seen completely from here. Gray had probably only seen his arms around her back.

"She apologized for her behavior earlier. She was crying."

"Yeah, I thought so. That's nice of her. I wouldn't have thought she'd apologize to you, but I guess it makes sense."

"Mhhh. She also asked me to take good care of you."

Gray turned his head and stared at Natsu in disbelief. "For real?"

Natsu just nodded, smiling at Gray. "And I promised her I would. So I have to give you lots of kisses and cuddles—mph!"

Natsu had leaned towards Gray with the intention of kissing, but Gray bent backwards and pushed his flat hand over Natsu's mouth. He looked flustered.

"We're still in the guild hall, idiot!"

Gray used his hand to turn Natsu's head until he was facing their guild mates. Erza was flushed and covered Wendy's eyes. Happy and Carla weren't looking; they were bent over a fish. Levy, Jet and Droy were too caught up in a conversation to notice that something was going on. Gajeel rolled his eyes at them. Laxus was delivering some kind of solo theatre performance, glancing over at Gray and Natsu nervously, while Freed, Bickslow, and Evergreen cheered him on, oblivious to what was happening behind their backs. Reedus was painting something in high speed while shooting them side glances every once in a while.

What the _hell_ was he always painting? Natsu wanted to know, so he removed Gray's hand and dashed over to him. He jumped behind Reedus and captured his hands behind his back, not giving him enough time to cover the canvas or take it down. Natsu's eyes widened when he saw the painting, torn between being angry and delighted. For now, he decided to go for delighted.

"Whoa! Are you selling that when it's finished? Can we buy it?"

No wonder that he had chosen to draw this in the edge of the guild hall, with his canvas facing the walls. It was a slightly erotic drawing of him and Gray, waist-up, caught up in a hot tongue kiss, both flushed, their hands entangled with each other's hair. They were both shirtless and sweating. The only thing that was still missing was the color of Natsu's hair.

Reedus was starting to sweat nervously, and Natsu could see that the skin of his neck was getting red. "Y-you're not... angry?"

"Nah, why? You're talented, and this is a hot drawing." He leaned closer to Reedus' ear, then spoke in a dangerously low voice. "So long as you're not planning on using that for your own pleasure, I don't mind. You'll sell it to us when it's finished, right?"

Reedus started to tremble.

From the corner of his eye, Natsu saw Gray approach. He stopped next to Reedus, took in the drawing, and then turned towards Reedus with a frown.

"I see you're quite enjoying us being a couple. Why didn't you ask us before?"

"I was actually planning on giving it to you as a present. Surprise?"

Gray smiled at Reedus, but Natsu could tell that he was still miffed that Reedus hadn't asked. "Oh? That's very kind of you. When will it be finished?"

"Give me five minutes more, please!"

"Alright. Please wrap or cover it once it's finished and take care that nobody sees it. We'll take it with us when we leave." He gave Reedus a nod, and then turned around to go back to their table.

In a low voice, Natsu said, "It's beautiful. Thanks. But next time, please ask."

"Y-yes!"

Natsu let go of Reedus' wrists and left him alone so that he could finish the drawing.

***

Gray and Natsu decided to leave the guild right after their friends left for the mission. Natsu asked Happy in a very roundabout way if he would mind staying at the guild or going back to their house alone. It took Happy several guesses to figure out what Natsu wanted from him, but when he finally understood, he smiled and teased that 'the two lovebirds wanted some time alone'. He said that he was willing to give them as much time as they needed, _if_ Natsu agreed to go on a fishing trip that would last several days. Natsu pouted, nodding towards Gray, but Happy assured him that it was okay if Gray wanted to come too. So they agreed, and Happy flew off to talk with Mirajane, who accepted his company with a huge smile.

Reedus had rolled the finished drawing up and leaned it against the wall. Natsu fetched it, mumbling a "thank you" under his breath, and then left the guild hall together with Gray, their hands entwined.

They walked the first few minutes without speaking, but there was a question that had been nagging at Natsu for a while, so he broke the silence. "I didn't expect that everyone would believe me so easily. You didn't believe me at first... What changed your mind?"

Gray gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before answering, "You never easily admit a mistake, yet you said that it was your fault, that you were too weak to defeat an enemy. For me that was proof enough of your sincerity. And then you said that I gave my life to protect yours. You were so emotional about it, and that's not something I think you're capable of faking. Plus, I don't think you would have guessed that I was willing to do such a thing in the first place. You're also too loyal to lie about such an important matter. I'm sure the others thought the same thing. You're never good at lying, and I've been watching you for a long time, so I like to believe that I can tell when you lie."

Natsu was at a loss for an answer, so he went ahead with the next question: "And why did you stop arguing that we stay at home? You were worried about Lucy's and Erza's safety."

"Because I trust you. If somebody knows what to do, it's you."

_'Yeah, if only I knew what to do, myself. I have no idea if my decision was right. If it was a bad one, I'll never be able to forgive myself for yet another death...'_

But there was no use doubting his decision—it was too late to take it back. All they could do was place their trust in their guild mates.

"Yeah. Let's hope my judgment was right..." Natsu let out a sigh, and then banished the negative thoughts. "What are we going to do in your flat? I've never been there before. I'm curious to see how you live."

"I-it's nothing special. We'll be there in a minute. I thought first I'd show you my place, and then we can think about what to do. It's next to the forest, so we could find a nice place to train a bit, since we didn't go on that mission."

"Mhh, sounds good. Though I thought you had something else in mind when you proposed we go to your flat." Natsu wiggled his eyebrows at Gray, causing him to blush.

"Y-yeah, well, I wouldn't be against it, but I'm also not against going slow. Sex isn't all I want from you."

Natsu smiled brightly and bumped his shoulder playfully against Gray's. "Yeah. Let's take it slow."

Gray nudged back, and teased, "I bet you're gonna beg me for it soon, anyway."

"It can hardly be called begging if you're giving it readily."

"Well, who says I will?"

"You already offered."

"I can change my mind anytime."

"Yeah, of course, pervert."

Gray pulled his hand free, and a moment later he yanked Natsu close by the scarf, their faces only centimeters apart. "Who're you calling a pervert, flame-brain?"

He'd taken off his shirt between removing his hand from Natsu's and yanking him, so Natsu brushed his free hand seductively over Gray's chest and abdomen, before letting it wander to Gray's back, stroking up and down, always stopping at the waistband.

It was very effective, seeing as Gray's angry expression was gone in a matter of seconds. Gray blushed, his heart rate picked up, and his breaths became irregular. Looking down between them, Natsu noted contentedly that there was a bulge in Gray's pants.

With a huge grin, he looked back up into Gray's eyes. "I'm calling you a pervert, stripper." Admittedly Natsu was turned on as well, but that didn't lessen his victory. Gray let go of him and shot him a glare that was surely meant to come across as angry, but Natsu wasn't fooled.

When Gray walked away, Natsu picked up his shirt before following, a triumphant smile on his face.

It turned out that Gray owned a flat in the attic floor of a building that looked to be more than a hundred years old. He'd made Natsu wait before the entrance to his flat, saying that he wanted to tidy up a bit. Natsu hadn't let the opportunity slip to poke fun at Gray, and as payback Gray slammed the door shut in Natsu's face.

A good ten minutes later, the door opened again, and Natsu slipped inside, the painting still in hand. Gray could've at least taken it from him, he thought sourly as he leaned it against the wall. Gray's flat was small; it had only two rooms plus a bathroom. The living room and the kitchen were separated only by the kitchen counter. The flat was rather empty beside the furniture, but that was to be expected from someone who barely spent any time at home. However, there were rectangular spots on the wallpaper where the color was more intense than everywhere else—there had been something that had protected the wallpaper from bleaching out. Was that why Gray had made him wait outside? Had he taken all the pictures down just now? Why? Were they that embarrassing? _'Maybe... Pictures of me?'_

Without warning, Natsu closed the distance between them and pulled Gray into a tight hug. Gray let out a sound of surprise, but then relaxed and wrapped his arms around Natsu.

"Were those... pictures of me?"

Gray stiffened, and that was all the answer Natsu needed.

"You don't need to hide them. You're not the only one who's keeping some. I have... pictures of you as well, although not out in the open because of Happy. I keep them in my drawer..."

Gray's grip tightened, and he let out a sigh. "Just look at us two clumsy idiots..."

Natsu closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness, the warmth, Gray's scent so close to his nose, and the warm feeling all of this triggered in him. "Yeah... I'm amazed we even got this far."

Instead of answering, Gray loosened the embrace and pushed their upper halves apart so that he could kiss Natsu. It was slow and tender, their teeth nibbling softly at each other's lips.

Natsu's legs threatened to give in after some seconds—or had it already been minutes?—so he pulled back just slightly to whisper against Gray's lips, "How about we lie down on your bed?"

Gray's eyes widened. "B-but I thought we were—"

"Just lying down, idiot. I don't want to end up on the floor, and my knees are getting really weak here."

"Oh, okay."

To Natsu's surprise, the bed was huge. The mattress was soft, and lying on it felt even more comfortable than lying in his own bed.

Gray admitted that he'd bought the bed about a year ago, and that he'd had a normal sized bed before that. When Natsu asked him why, Gray blushed and tried to dodge the question. But Natsu kept pushing until Gray finally admitted, "I know that you sometimes toss about in your sleep, and I wanted to provide for the unlikely possibility that we ended up as a couple and you'd want to sleep over. My last bed was too small for two, and I wouldn't want to make you sleep on the floor..." He buried his face deeper in the crook of Natsu's neck.

So Natsu wasn't the only one who'd planned ahead. When he thought about the supplies and toys in his drawer that were waiting to be used, Natsu felt his face heat.

They just lay silently on the bed, entangled with each other for a long while. Gray's breath evened out, and eventually he began snoring lightly. Natsu wanted to see Gray's sleeping face so badly, but he also didn't want to wake him up by moving, so he just wrapped his arms a bit tighter around Gray's torso and let sleep overtake him.

***

Gray was falling, endlessly falling, and Natsu was _right there_ , but he couldn't catch Gray. He missed his hand no matter what he did. Once he thought he would make it, but Gray's hand just passed through his as if he were a ghost. Then there was blood. So much blood, and Gray wasn't falling anymore. Natsu wanted to scream his name, but nothing came out of his mouth—he was numb. He tried to help Gray, tried to put the blood back into his body, but it wasn't working. Gray's chest was sliced open, his heart bare, but it was still beating. Natsu wanted to close the wound, wanted to push his chest together again, but it didn't budge. There was a black hand descending from above, aiming for Gray's heart. Natsu wanted to scream, to shout 'leave him alone', but he still didn't have a voice. He tried to fend off the hand, but it went right through him. It reached for Gray's heart, encompassed it, and—

"NATSU!!" A slap to his face. Natsu shot up, hit his head on something hard, and fell right back into the mattress. His stomach felt as if it had been turned upside down.

"Shit! That hurt!" somebody close to him shouted.

Natsu retched, there was another curse, and then he was being lifted and carried somewhere. The next thing he knew he was vomiting into a toilet, kneeling on a cold tiled floor. There was a hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles over his skin. Another hand wrapped around his chest, supporting his weight and preventing him from slumping against the toilet.

When he was done emptying his stomach, he sat back on his heels, and tried to get a grip on himself. His vision spun. He was covered in sweat. His head hurt. His throat was sore. He was trembling. And his stomach still felt like it was trying to dissolve itself. He retched once more, dryly. The stench was nearly unbearable, but then there was a tissue wiping his mouth, and the smell that flooded his nose the next second was so much better. It was Gray, naturally. He wasn't dead, he was right here, right behind him, taking care of him.

The toilet flushed, and then Gray's face was before his, wearing an expression of deep concern. There was a round red spot on his forehead—he'd banged his head against Gray's, then.

"So-sorry..."

"What are you apologizing for? You had a nightmare, apparently one of me... Of my death."

The images came rushing back, and another wave of nausea took over Natsu's body. Gray patted him on the shoulder to soothe him.

Just when his stomach had settled somewhat, Gray's doorbell rang.

"Ah, shit. Can I leave you alone for a moment?"

Natsu nodded.

"You won't pass out and hit your head or anything?"

He shook his head and tried to smile, but it felt weak and unconvincing. Nevertheless, Gray smiled back. He carefully leaned Natsu against the nearest wall before he left to answer the door.

Natsu's head was still spinning, but his senses were starting to sharpen again. He could hear an old lady ask Gray if he was okay, why he had been shouting so loudly. Gray answered that he'd taken a nap and had woken up from a nightmare. He ensured her that he was fine now, and that she didn't have to worry about him. The lady asked him to repeat that, since she couldn't hear well anymore. Gray answered a bit louder, but she still requested him to speak louder, so he went for shouting at her that he was alright. She finally seemed to be satisfied, and wished him a good evening.

Gray came back to the bathroom a few seconds later. He kneeled down next to Natsu, looking a bit unsure of what to do next.

"Your clothes and your hair are completely soaked with sweat. I'd like to take a shower with you. I swear I won't do anything sexual. I'm just worried about you, so please let me take care of you."

"Okay... Thanks."

Natsu tried to get up by himself, but his knees were wobbly, and he would have fallen down if it hadn't been for Gray catching him and supporting his weight until Natsu was able to stand on his own. Just then Natsu noticed that Gray wasn't wearing anything beside his boxers. Well, not that it was unusual, but when had he taken off his clothes? When he'd still been sleeping? When he answered the door? On the way back to the bathroom?

Gray was tugging at Natsu's clothes, trying to peel him from them, so he could at least make it as easy as possible.

A minute later, they were both in the shower, warm water running down their bodies. Natsu felt a bit better, at least as far as his stomach was concerned.

When Gray massaged the shampoo into his hair, Natsu closed his eyes and let out a content sigh. Gray proceeded to massage his scalp even after all his hair was covered in shampoo. It was soothing, and it helped to calm down his spinning thoughts.

Natsu took a step forward, wrapped his arms around Gray, and rested his head against Gray's shoulder. Gray continued his massage until Natsu broke the embrace a few minutes later. They exchanged a few kisses in the shower, and another hug, but neither of them was aroused at any point.

When they toweled each other down, Natsu felt nearly as good as he had before he fell asleep. His spirits were back, and he could smile again.

"What time is it?" Natsu asked while rubbing Gray's hair dry.

"Hmmm, dunno. Around six?"

"So late already! That was a long nap..."

"Yeah, well, _you_ slept that long." Muttering under his breath, Gray added, "And I couldn't bring myself to wake you up..."

"Oh? Did you watch me while I was sleeping?"

"M-maybe."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Natsu had barely finished talking when Gray's mouth pressed against his. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the kiss. Gray's lips felt so right against his, like they belonged there. It felt like _home_ , and Natsu never wanted to leave his home again.

The kiss was interrupted by a loud growl from Gray's stomach. They pulled back, stared at each other for a moment, and then grinned.

"How's your stomach? Do you think you can eat?" Gray asked.

"Fine and yes."

"I don't have food at home. How about we go out to eat?"

That sounded like... _a date!_ Natsu nodded enthusiastically, and they got ready in no time at all. Natsu wore Gray's clothes, seeing as his smelled of sweat. They fit astoundingly well. Only the waistband of Gray's jeans was a bit too wide for Natsu's liking, but that was fixed easily with a belt.

Natsu glanced at the clock before they left Gray's flat, surprised to see that it was already half past six.

They didn't let go of each other's hands after Gray locked the door to his flat, not even when they reached the busy shopping district. Some people stopped and stared, some whispering, and one girl shrieked and fainted when she saw them. Gray and Natsu went over to offer her help, but her companion explained that such a thing always happened whenever she saw the 'Salamander of Fairy Tail', that she'd wake up eventually, and that they didn't need to worry. She shooed them away, saying that if Natsu was still there when her friend regained consciousness, she would faint yet again. Reluctantly, they got up and walked around the nearest corner.

They decided to eat at the next spot they passed. After another minute of walking hand in hand, they saw a sign of a restaurant, but shortly before they reached it, Gray stopped short in his tracks. Natsu turned around and wanted to ask what was wrong, only to find Gray staring at him in horror. He couldn't form words out of sheer panic that something was happening to Gray.

"That old lady earlier... She's not living right under me, but two stories under me. I needed to shout at her when she was standing in front of me. How the hell did she hear your scream? Okay, your scream was way louder, and I know the sound absorption in our house isn't _that_ good, but still... How's that possible?"

Natsu's head spun. The previous time they'd been followed by somebody. Maybe also the first time, too? The third time a lady heard something she shouldn't have been able to hear. Had she been manipulated? Was somebody following them even now?

_'Shit. I was too careless!'_

Without answering, Natsu turned his head, scanning their surroundings. There were so many people on the street that it was difficult to tell whether somebody looked suspicious or not. Some stood around idly, waiting for something or somebody. Some shot the two of them side glances or even stared at them, but that wasn't suspicious, seeing as they were well-known and still holding hands.

Natsu closed his eyes and concentrated on the scents, but other than Gray's, he couldn't make out any specific scent in the mixture of what had to be over a hundred different ones.

"Natsu? Did you find something?"

He opened his eyes again, looked at Gray, and wanted to answer that no, he hadn't found anything, when he saw a hooded figure over Gray's shoulder, staring at them. He had a scarf pulled up over his nose and his hood pulled down so that the only thing that could be seen from his face were his eyes—dark green eyes.

As soon as the hooded figure noticed that Natsu stared right back at him, he turned his head away, but didn't move from his spot in a back alley, between two shops.

Natsu let out a low growl, then let go of Gray's hand and charged towards the man, ignoring the shouts and squeals from the people who jumped out of his way. The man avoided Natsu's fist in the last second, jumping aside so that Natsu crashed into the wall of the shop. The wall didn't break since he hadn't put all his strength in the attack; he wasn't going to risk the lives of innocent people.

"I'm not your enemy," the man said calmly, and Natsu recognized the voice at once. _Jellal._

"Why are you following us? Do you have anything to do with this?" Natsu demanded.

Jellal pushed his hood off and his scarf down. His expression was grim, but honest. "I'm just following instructions from Ultear. She didn't explain what this is about, but was in a rush to send me away. She just said I must observe Gray and contact her immediately if something happens to him. She made it quite obvious that she'd rip my head off if I were to lose sight of him."

 _Ultear._ A time mage. Yes, of course. _She_ had turned back time. Jellal had been following them, and after Gray's death he'd contacted Ultear and she'd turned back time to save him. But why was Natsu the only one who could remember? And how did she know that something was going to happen?

Natsu was about to ask these questions, when another one came to his mind: _'Is Gray really safe now?'_

His eyes widened in horror, and he turned around in search for Gray. He was right there, right next to him, staring at the two of them in confusion and fear. He'd heard everything then. He'd probably gotten to the same conclusion as Natsu. He was afraid to die.

Bubbles wasn't even close, nor was any other mage that could pose a threat to Gray's life. Yes, Jellal was there, but how likely was it that he'd attack Gray when he already helped save his life twice? Natsu felt dizzy from all the questions and concerns nagging at him.

When Gray's eyes widened in horror a moment later, and his hands came up to clutch at the fabric over his heart, Natsu's mind went blank in fear. Gray's mouth opened wide, as if he wanted to scream, but nothing came out. He collapsed onto the floor.

Gray's heart wasn't beating anymore. Either that, or Natsu's ears weren't functioning any longer. He dropped to the floor next to Gray, and pushed a shaky hand against the pulse point at Gray's throat. Nothing. The pulse point at his wrists. Nothing. No breathing either. Dead. Gray was dead.

A feral scream broke free from Natsu's throat. He performed chest compressions for god knew how long, his mind reeling. Somewhere along the line he started screaming at Gray to cut the crap, to open his eyes, to smile at him, to tell him that he's fine, _'anything, just open your eyes already—'_

"Natsu. It's been ten minutes. You'd need an electric shock to restart his heart, and even then his brain would probably be too damaged already. Let go."

_'No, no, no, NO! Gray's a mage. If I just revive him, he can be healed. He can be his old self again. He'll be fine—'_

Strong arms pulled him away from Gray, and Natsu didn't have the energy to struggle. His face was pushed against a chest. It wasn't Gray's. It felt so wrong.

"You've done everything you can. Please leave the rest to Ultear. She'll turn back time. You'll get him back."

Unable to answer, Natsu remained motionless, his head pressed against Jellal's chest, his body lying on the cold tar. He felt empty, lifeless.

"I called Ultear just now. She said that she could leave only your memories. When I told her that you've seen me, she asked me to tell you something. It's up to you alone to save his life, since even she won't be able to remember anything. She said you can contact her over my communication lacrima whenever you want. Just call for me and tell me you know I'm there, and ask for it. She said you'll probably want to write a diary. She could manipulate a diary so that what you wrote won't vanish even though the time is turned back."

So Gray _could_ be saved. Natsu sat up, and stared at Jellal.

"Did Ultear say how he can be saved?"

"No. That's your task. To find out how you can save him."

_'My task... His life depends on me... On me alone... Leave it to me, Gray. I'll save you. I swear by my own life that I'll find a way.'_

The first step towards his goal: More information.

"How did she know that Gray would die?"

"I don't know..."

"How much time do I have after Gray dies? Will it always be the same?"

"I... don't know?"

"What time is it?"

Instead of answering, Jellal pointed over Natsu's shoulder. A crowd had gathered around them. Natsu hadn't noticed them at all until this point.

A bit louder, he asked, "What time is it?"

The whispers grew louder, Natsu caught scraps like 'is he okay?' and 'his friend just died, how can he think about the time now?' and 'isn't that Fairy Tail's Salamander?' and 'who's that boy lying on the floor?'. He was close to shouting at them to shut the fuck up and tell him the time, when a male voice said, "It's 7:15 now."

Natsu nodded thankfully in the general direction of the crowd.

Obviously somebody had called a healer, since a woman unknown to Natsu pushed herself between the crowds, then dropped to her knees before Gray, her hands glowing where she touched his chest. She shook her head. Natsu gritted his teeth, but fought down any thoughts that weren't about gathering information. He turned back to Jellal.

"Is there anything else you can tell me? Like, how did you follow us without being noticed, or where are your hiding spots? And since when are you following us?"

"I've been following _Gray_ since about six in the morning, when he left for the guild. He doesn't have enhanced senses, so hiding from him isn't that difficult. You, however, should have noticed me, but I guess you were... um—" he averted his eyes and scratched his cheek, looking embarrassed— " _distracted by other things_."

Natsu felt his face heat. He nodded curtly, urging Jellal to continue.

"As for my hiding spots... Mostly I've been sitting in some bush or tree, observing you through windows when you were inside. When you moved to Gray's bathroom, I couldn't see you clearly anymore due to the frosted glass. So I sent that old lady to check on you."

The rest of what Jellal had to say was vague. He didn't know where Ultear got her information from, or whether she knew anything about the circumstances. He knew where Ultear was, but he refused to tell Natsu, afraid that he'd do something stupid when the pressure became too much and Natsu grew desperate. And he was right about that, Natsu reluctantly admitted. He was the type to do careless and stupid things when extremely emotional. What if he decided one day that it wasn't worth the torture anymore and would try to stop Ultear from turning back time? He could easily imagine that the emotional pain would eventually become too much to bear if he needed too long to figure out a solution. The mere thought of seeing Gray die even _one more time_ was enough to turn his stomach over once again.

When dizziness overcame Natsu, he welcomed it all too happily. He'd see Gray again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take a bit time to leave a comment. I can't stress this enough: **It's the only reward I get** for spending hours (more like months) on end planning, writing, re-writing, editing this. Even if it's only a one-word comment. If you think I don't care: I do care. It means so much to me, and it's the best motivation to go on writing. I know there are so many people reading this silently, maybe enjoying it, maybe thinking 'oh I didn't like that part so much', or anything else. Just tell me, I won't bite, promised.
> 
> For the people who think I don't want to hear negative feedback: I want to improve as a writer, which means erasing my flaws. But first I need to know my flaws, so I need you to tell me.
> 
> A huge thanks to all the people who are regularly commenting on my chapters/fics! You're the reason I'm still writing :)


	5. Day 4 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Last chapter: Gray died even though they didn't go on the mission. Natsu found out that Ultear turns back time, and that Jellal is following them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> natsu (jap.) = summer. For desktop users: you can hover your mouse over the bold word to see the explanation.

This time when Natsu woke up, he was prepared. He was still trembling and sweating, but he didn’t shout. He was feeling energetic, convinced that he would find a way to save Gray. The idea for today was: keep Gray away from Bubbles, bring him to Wendy or Porlyusica, and make them monitor his heart function when the time for his death was approaching, and heal him. The time of his death being somewhere around seven pm, because if he thought about it, the time when Gray died had been nearly the same every day. When he ruled out all of the previous causes of death, the result would be Gray living on, right?

Natsu got his morning routine over with quickly. He woke Happy up, and together they made their way to the guild.

***

When they entered the guild hall, Natsu was in high spirits. Gray ignored him, but that wouldn't last long, Natsu would make sure of it. Now that he knew that the feeling was mutual, there was nothing to fear. So he flopped onto the bench next to Gray, so close that their thighs were touching.

Gray flinched, nearly tipping his glass over with the sudden movement. He stared at Natsu warily, surely expecting a fight.

"Relax. I don't want to fight."

"Then what?"

"Would you mind leaving the guild hall with me for a bit? I want to talk to you."

Gray's eyes narrowed at him.

"Talk here."

"No, it's... ah, personal. Please, I'd rather take this outside. Too many people here..."

Gray scrutinized him, not hiding the fact that he had doubts. Natsu did his best to look honest and pleading, and after some seconds of their staring duel, Gray sighed and motioned Natsu to go first.

They got side glances when they left the guild hall, but nobody commented.

Natsu led Gray to the back of the building since there were no windows and thus their chance of being observed or overheard by other people than Jellal was low. Now that Natsu paid attention to it, Jellal's movements were clumsy and easily detectable, at least to his sharp ears.

He spun around on his heels, and Gray raised his hands in defense, eyeing him warily.

"Geez, Gray, please. I know that's hard to believe but I won't attack you. I don't want to fight right now."

But Gray didn't lower his arms. "Then talk."

Natsu took a deep breath, and then blurted out, "I'm experiencing this day for the fourth time now."

At first, Gray didn't react at all. He stood there, frozen, looking at Natsu as if he'd gone crazy. Then a small laugh escaped his lips, which turned into a full-fledged fit of laughter. Natsu waited patiently until Gray was able to breathe again before continuing.

"I'll prove it to you later, so for now could you just believe me for once and listen?"

Gray waved his hand, something in between dismissive and inviting to go on. His eyes were wet with tears, his mouth still smiling. It was a rare look on him, and Natsu enjoyed every second of it.

"The previous time, you confessed to me."

Gray's expression froze. "Did you enter my flat?"

"Well, yes, but—"

He was slammed against the wall, the impact knocking all of the air out of his lungs. Gray's hand was buried in his scarf, his face close to Natsu's, with an expression as angry as he'd ever seen.

"So you've sneaked into my flat without my permission, saw the pictures there, realized how I feel, and now you're trying to make up an excuse, huh?"

"NO! Let me explain!"

"What's there to explain? You're a terrible liar, and if you wanted to break my heart then you could've just said it outright."

"Then, if I'm such a terrible liar, tell me: does this look a lie to you?" And with that, he craned his neck so that he could put his lips on Gray's, while his arms snaked around Gray's shoulder to pull him closer. The kiss was one-sided and lasted only a few seconds before Gray pulled away, looking confused.

"What... are you _doing_?"

The grip on Natsu's scarf had loosened, and Natsu used the opportunity to reverse their positions, pinning Gray against the wall.

"I've kissed you, and I'd like to do it over and over again if you allowed me to. I'm in love with you. And what I said is true. Time has been reversed three times already, but everybody except for me lost their memories. You invited me to your flat, and you made me wait in front of your door to take all the pictures down. I didn't see them, but I could guess."

Gray stared at him in disbelief. "Are you trying to pull my leg? That's not funny."

"You know for sure that you're in love with me since about one year ago, and you also bought a bigger bed at that time. Even though you didn't believe we'd end up as a couple, you still wanted to prepare for the possibility, since you know I toss about in my sleep."

Gray's eyes widened. "Th-that's exactly what I was thinking when I bought it..."

"And have you told _anybody_ about it?"

"No..."

"How could I possibly know such a thing—if you didn't tell me yourself?"

Gray's expression changed as understanding slowly seeped in. He blushed furiously, and Natsu couldn't help but smile. Gray was just too adorable.

"S-so we went to my flat... a-and what exactly... did we do there?"

Natsu leaned forward to nibble at Gray's earlobe, reveling in his bodily reactions. Gray's heart rate was quick, his skin warm, and he was trembling just slightly.

"We went to your bedroom, cuddled on your bed," he breathed against Gray's ear.

"And then?"

"You fell asleep, then I fell asleep too."

"Oh."

Gray sounded disappointed, and Natsu couldn't hold back a chuckle. He pulled back a bit so that he could look Gray in the eyes. "May I kiss you again?"

Instead of answering, Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu's torso and pulled him in. Gray's technique was as bad at the beginning just like the previous time, but Natsu guided him, showed him what felt good. Gray was a quick learner, and soon they were both panting, pressed against each other firmly. Natsu's body was hot, his cock hard and yearning for friction. He hadn't been this turned on the previous time, when they'd kept their kisses playful and teasing. But this, right now, with their tongues dancing hotly against each other's, teeth biting almost painfully into each other's lips, it was too much. Natsu's hips ground against Gray's on their own volition, and _god_ did that feel good. Gray was as hard as himself, and his aroused scent was addling Natsu's mind. If he didn't stop now, he might not be able to control himself for long.

Natsu pulled back reluctantly, which earned him a pout from Gray.

"Sorry, but... not here. We're in public."

"Nobody's around anyway, so—"

"No. We're being watched." Louder, he added, "Isn't that right, Jellal?"

Gray looked at him again like he was about to ask, 'are you stupid?', but a second later a loud rustling sound filled the air. Jellal stepped out of the bushes onto the grass, his face flaming red, scratching the back of his head.

"Since you said it's the fourth time I kind of guessed that you already knew, but I couldn't be sure."

"I just found out the previous time shortly before—" he bit his lip, avoiding looking at Gray "—the end of the day."

Jellal seemed to get the hint. "So we have a bit more time, huh?"

"Yes. Can I talk to Ultear for a bit—alone?" He shot Gray a meaningful and apologetic glance, and then looked at Jellal, motioning to the bag he was wearing over his shoulder.

"Ultear? Wait, Ultear is turning back time again and again? Why? What's going on here?"

Gray looked between the two of them in confusion.

"I don't know the details yet, myself. I'll explain later."

But Gray wasn't having it. "Then let me hear what you're talking about if you're gonna tell me anyway!"

Despite Jellal now standing right next to them, Natsu crowded Gray against the wall again, and pressed his lips gently against Gray's. This earned him a whimper and weak resistance at first, but after some seconds Gray sighed and kissed back, relaxing under Natsu's touch.

When Gray opened his lips to deepen the kiss, Natsu pulled back just slightly, bringing only a few centimeters between their faces. "Just... trust me, please. I'll tell you later, I promise."

After a few moments of looking into each other's eyes, Gray sighed. "Alright. I'll go back into the guild, then."

"Thanks, and please don't tell anyone yet."

Gray nodded, and Natsu let go of him, watching his retreating back as he walked around the corner.

Natsu felt like a coward for sending Gray away, but he really didn't want him to know just yet that his life was in danger, even if it was selfish of him. He wanted to sort some things out before, and spare Gray from the anxiety for a little longer.

"Should I leave, too?" Jellal asked, snapping Natsu out of his reverie. He was holding out the communication lacrima.

"No. Actually I just wanted to prevent Gray from hearing this. I'd rather you stay."

"Alright. I'll enable the connection now, or is there something you wanted to say before that?"

Natsu shook his head and motioned Jellal to go ahead, so he did. They stood next to each other, waiting for the connection to be established.

Once Ultear's face appeared, and she saw Natsu's face, she smiled. "Hello, Natsu. I'm sure you have many questions."

Jellal didn't appear to want to partake in the conversation, so Natsu asked, "Why me?"

"It's not my decision. The oracle of the magic council sought me out, and asked me to listen to her prophecy. Listen closely, I'll repeat it for you.

When winter fades,  
And past rewinds,  
But future can't be swayed,  
Summer must form a bond,  
With the hateful yet loved rival.

Giving up a part of itself,  
Igniting a burned out fire,  
Fire can light up Darkness,  
And prevent the world from falling apart."

Everything went silent for a few heartbeats, but in Natsu's head the thoughts were spinning, making no sense whatsoever, confusing him more and more.

"That was all she said, and no matter how much I nagged her, she didn't open her mouth again. She shot me a pleading look, and went away again. I have no idea how she even found out our positions or how she got here."

"When was that?"

"Two days ago. At first I thought it was a joke, but then I began to understand what it could mean, and that I shouldn't risk it. It's obvious the **_'Summer'_** is you, and your rival, the winter, was about as obvious. My role is to rewind the past. I've just recently discovered a way to alter the spell _'Last Ages'_. It allows me to turn back time to a definite point without penalty, as long as I set the point in advance. So I set the point a little before seven this morning; however, it allows only _one_ individual to keep their memories."

Natsu couldn't answer, he was so overwhelmed with the new information. It was slowly sinking in that the prophecy meant that not only Gray's life was at stake, but that the weight of thousands, millions of lives, rested on his shoulders. There was no way he'd fail them. He was going to save Gray's life and with it, the lives of all the others.

"A diary."

"Hm?"

"I want to write a diary where I can write down the most important things. I'll need to gather information, find a way to save Gray. He died every time, no matter what I did. The last time his heart just stopped beating when there was no enemy around. If I don't find a solution quickly, I might forget important things. And I need a watch. You can manipulate them so that I'll have these things with me even though time turns back, right?"

"Yes, but I'll need to be there."

"When can you be here?"

"If I leave now... maybe late afternoon?"

"Then I'll see you later."

And with that, Natsu turned around, ignoring Ultear and Jellal's questions and complaints. He had a job to do now, the rest could wait for later. He needed to convince his friends yet again that Gray and he weren't going on that mission, only this time he'd leave out the fact that Gray would probably die at the end of the day.

***

It was hard to convince the others about his story without mentioning Gray's death, but when his prediction that Juvia, Laxus, Freed, Evergreen, and Bixlow would arrive somewhat around nine o'clock turned out to be true (it was 9:03), they finally believed him. Juvia had tried to throw herself at Gray again, but naturally he'd dodged her. It turned out that he had the same trouble convincing her to stay away from him as the time before, so Natsu eventually interrupted by kissing Gray in the middle of the guild. The following scene played out similarly to the previous time—Juvia ran away. Everyone else was speechless at first, but then they were flooded with congratulations.

Natsu told them every detail of the mission, answering the questions that had come up the previous time before they could be asked. He sighed internally when he thought about all the times he would have to repeat this explanation—he was already annoyed with having to give it a second time. Maybe he should find a solution for this as well—write it all down and just hand it over to Erza or Lucy at the beginning of every new day.

Finding an excuse to stay at home was a bit tricky when he wanted to keep Gray's impending death a secret. He stammered something along the lines of 'we need to find a solution to make the rewinds stop, and the cause of it is likely here in Magnolia', earning suspicious glances from everyone. They tried making him spit out the real reason, but he didn't budge. Maybe he should have thought about a better excuse, but for this time it was already too late. Judging by the looks he earned, some of his friends probably believed that he just wanted to stay at home because he wanted some alone time with Gray, but he ignored them. They eventually gave up nagging when he didn't change his story even after being asked repeatedly.

They were finished with everything shortly before lunch, and Natsu wanted nothing more than to head out with Gray, take a bit of time for themselves, shopping for a diary and a watch. Happy wanted to come along, but Natsu asked him to stay behind, to wait for their return. He felt guilty for always neglecting Happy, but he really wanted to be alone with Gray right then, even if 'alone' still meant they were being followed by Jellal—but at least Jellal wouldn't bother them if they didn't want him to.

Happy reluctantly flew off to bother Mirajane, without demanding redemption unlike last time. Maybe it had been Natsu's insecure way of asking that triggered him to ask for one.

Natsu and Gray didn't hesitate to take each other's hand when they wished their friends good luck, eliciting a squeal from the girls.

Jellal's footsteps following them was painfully obvious as they made their way towards the shopping district, but as expected, he didn't show himself or bother them in any way, so Natsu tuned his footsteps out eventually. Gray looked at him sheepishly every now and then, and Natsu could tell that his nervousness was growing by the minute. He tried to calm him down with little smiles and reassuring squeezes of his hand, but Gray's tension was never gone for long.

So, before they turned into the main shopping street of Magnolia, Natsu stopped, turned towards Gray, and hugged him. Letting out a content sigh, Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu's torso and pressed their bodies close to each other's.

"What're you so nervous about?" Natsu asked in a low voice.

Gray's grip tightened. "I don't know... This is all so new for me and it seemingly came out of nowhere... I guess I'm just overthinking things, kinda afraid this is all an elaborate joke, though I know you'd never play with my feelings like that. Don't get me wrong, I _do_ trust you. It's just... hard to believe you're into me, is all."

"Mhh. I messed up, I guess. If the time rewinds again–" he swallowed hard– "then how should I go about it so that you'll believe me?"

Gray sighed into Natsu's scarf. "Maybe... first make sure that I understand that you're not into Lucy... and drop one or two hints, try to flirt with me, and then confess?"

Natsu took a deep breath, then pushed Gray away so that they could look into each other's eyes. "I'm not into Lucy. Your beautiful blue eyes are beautiful. I love you. Can I kiss you?"

Next thing he knew, he was hit on the head rather hard. "Idiot. You said 'beautiful' twice. If you want to scare me off, then that's the way to go."

Natsu pouted. "I'm not good at this. You have to show me."

A fond smile played on Gray's lips. "We're not in a rush, right?"

Actually, they were—somewhat. But whatever Gray had in mind, Natsu could at least hear him out. "Depends. What is it?"

Gray cupped Natsu's chin with one hand, pulled him closer until their noses were nearly touching, and said in a sultry voice, "How about we go to a restaurant to eat lunch, and I'll tell you some things that would make me happy and probably lose my composure?"

Natsu wanted to say, _Yes, please,_ but his voice failed him. The next second, Gray's lips were on his, causing his mind to go blank. He closed his eyes and let the sensation of their lips brushing against each other's wash over him. Gray's smell, the softness of his lips, his tenderness, the way he held Natsu close like he was the most precious thing in the world and he'd never want to let go of him—it caused hot and cold shivers to run through Natsu's body, made his knees weak and his head fuzzy. Before he could collapse, Gray tightened his grip, pressing their bodies even closer, and slipped his tongue inside Natsu's mouth. He let out a surprised sound, which prompted Gray to invade his mouth even deeper.

Gray pulled back after a few seconds, leaving Natsu a panting and blushing mess, if the heat he felt beneath his skin was any indication. The teasing smirk on Gray's face would have been more convincing if he weren't blushing, himself, but Natsu decided not to comment on it.

"So?"

"Y-yes. Okay."

As if on cue, Gray's stomach let out a loud growl. He blushed even darker, and Natsu couldn't help but laugh. First lunch, then shopping it was.

The first thing that came to his mind was the restaurant they were headed the previous time shortly before—no. He led Gray into the other direction, made them choose another place to eat.

They found themselves in an okonomiyaki restaurant, seated at a window [table with a big cooking plate in the middle of it](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51484beee4b0c803aa4f2900/t/525a4656e4b0cb857152e695/1381647961059/Japlanning-The-Menu-Okonomiyaki.jpg). Natsu chose a window table deliberately, since he didn't want Jellal to have to follow them inside. He wondered if Gray was aware that they were being followed even now, but he decided not to address the topic.

They ordered four portions for the two of them, which earned them a suspicious look from the waitress, but she scurried off without commenting on it. A minute later, she brought them the mixture and the ingredients they'd use for cooking.

Gray and Natsu were both clumsy with handling cooking utensils, so they messed up their pancakes, embarrassing themselves over and over again. Some people were giving them side glances and chuckled, but neither of them cared. When Gray accidentally flipped a small piece of his pancake into Natsu's glass of water, Natsu smiled at him, said, "Well, this sure is a way to cool it down quickly," and downed the water including the piece of pancake in one go.

When they were done cooking, they turned the plate off. While eating, Gray showed Natsu different ways to flirt. Things that would make him happy, things that would make him understand or at least suspect that he was the one on the receiving end of Natsu's love, things that would make him lose his composure...

Natsu listened attentively, heat creeping into his cheeks more than once. One thing seemed to be painfully obvious: Gray _loved_ public displays of affection, even if he tried to deny it. The way he averted his eyes every time Natsu implied something that was going in that direction, the way he blushed and shuddered, the way his scent changed with his excitement—all of this could only mean that he secretly craved it. Nearing the end of their date, Natsu gathered all his courage and decided to be bold. He asked in a serious tone if Gray would enjoy having sex in the guild hall. Maybe he should've taken into consideration that Gray was chewing on something, seeing as he promptly choked on it and turned red like a tomato. The only thing he got as an answer as soon as Gray could breathe again, was an angry glare and an _'idiot'_ , but he didn't deny it. _'Interesting.'_

Gray was still flustered when they paid and left the restaurant. He reluctantly let Natsu take his hand again once they were back on the street.

Natsu decided that the diary was the most important thing. A watch would be nice, too, but that could wait.

They entered a few book shops, but the diaries they offered were all boring, and most of them didn't even have a lock.

After the tenth or so book shop, Natsu was discouraged, sighing repeatedly. Gray tried to cheer him up with reassuring squeezes of his hand, but it wasn't working.

Two more book shops later and Natsu was frustrated, his temper rising dangerously.

Gray was in the middle of suggesting they take a small break, maybe eat ice cream somewhere, when they passed a display window of a rather expensive looking dress shop. Natsu stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards the female mannequin, eyeing the open [dark red book](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/post/151879980222/selenba-visual-of-natsus-diary) she was holding in her hands. The book was thick, looked robust, and it had a lock. The word 'Diary' was written over the front in golden filigree letters that stood out, the edges were protected by a golden rim, and several golden outstanding [scroll patterns](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/69/02/37/6902373d18129350155eb3c9b82b59a5.jpg) adorned the edges and the back. Natsu wondered if they were made of gold or if it was just plastic covered in a thin golden layer. The end of a red fabric bookmark was dangling from between the pages. The book looked antique, yet the white pages told him that it was new. The mannequin was wearing a golden necklace with a golden key dangling against her neckline.

"This. I wanna have this."

"This is just for show, Natsu. I wouldn't be surprised if it's completely made out of plastic."

"No, it's real, nobody would care to make so many thin pages out of plastic. Let's go."

Gray sighed, but let himself be pulled into the shop after Natsu. The staff members were all wearing suits or skirts with blouses, and they shot the two mages wary looks when they entered. When nobody showed the slightest inclination to offer their help, Natsu just strode straight towards a young lady, Gray still in tow.

"We wanna buy that book in the display."

The woman wrinkled her nose before answering, "We're not selling any books, sir, only clothes." Her disparaging look was practically shouting at him, _'clothes that you would never be able to afford.'_

"But one of the mannequins is holding a diary."

"Yes, sir, that's an accessory, it's not for sale."

Natsu narrowed his eyes at her, a snarky reply on his lips, but then Gray's hand settled on his shoulder, his head nodding towards the back of the shop, where a tall man in a suit emerged. He radiated an authoritative aura. _'Probably the boss then, huh?'_

He strode over to them, and put a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Welcome, mages of Fairy Tail! How can I help you?"

The woman flinched when she heard 'mages of Fairy Tail', looked at Natsu's right shoulder, blushed furiously, bowed deeply, and scurried away.

Without paying her any heed, Natsu answered, "We're interested in the book the mannequin over there is holding. Do you think you could sell it to us?"

The man led them over to the vitrine, asked them to wait a second, and fished for a key in his pocket.

A minute later he returned from inside the vitrine, holding the book and the necklace with the golden key in his hands.

He handed it over to Natsu, with a request to treat it carefully.

The diary was perfect. It had thin light gray lines on the pages, and it was heavier than anticipated, but that probably meant that the golden ornaments and letters were real gold, and not just coated plastic. He handed it over to Gray so that he could take a closer look as well.

"How much do you want for this?"

The man smiled. "It's a custom-built model, and usually I wouldn't sell it, but since you're Fairy Tail mages, I'll make an exception. Are you carrying a hundred jewels with you?" With a wink, he added more quietly, "I'm not charging you the full price. Take the discount as a bribe to take better care of all the buildings of this town the next time you fight here."

Natsu scratched the back of his head, not knowing if he was supposed to apologize or give thanks to the man, when Gray pushed him down into a _[seiza](http://previews.123rf.com/images/talanis/talanis1303/talanis130300039/18483292-Man-in-karate-gi-in-the-seiza-position-Stock-Photo.jpg)_ , so deep that his nose was touching the floor.

"We're extremely sorry if we destroyed your shop in the past. We'll be more careful in the future. Thank you so much!" Gray hastily said from beside him.

When Natsu didn't say anything, Gray shoved his foot against Natsu's. "Th-thank you very much!"

"You're welcome."

They got up, Natsu paid, and Gray bowed to the man several more times before they turned to leave the shop. They were already nearly outside, when the man called for them to wait. He gave Natsu a bag and the chain with the golden key, telling him to keep the book safe and treat it well. Natsu promised he'd take care of it, and with that, they left the shop. As soon as they were outside, Natsu's sharp ears caught the man shouting at the woman, telling her that if she'd ever treat a Fairy Tail member like this again, she'd be fired. Apparently somebody of Fairy Tail had done something to help him in the past.

Natsu smiled and took Gray's hand, only to find him glaring. "What?"

"You realize how expensive this book would've been if he'd insisted you pay the full price?"

"Err... But I'm not poor. Yesterday's mission paid rather well. And the money comes back when time is reversed anyway," he added with a smirk.

"That's theft, idiot." Gray scowled.

Natsu pretended like he hadn't heard anything, and instead looked around, wondering where he could buy a watch. But more importantly...

"What time is it?"

Gray squeezed Natsu's cheeks between his fingers, and turned his head a little to the left.

"There's a clock, idiot. You know how to read a clock, right?"

Ah, yeah. Well, he hadn't noticed it. _'4:24 pm... We have a bit more time to buy a watch.'_

He wanted to resume walking, but stopped after one step when he felt a tug on his hand. Gray didn't show the slightest inclination to move from his spot anytime soon. His eyes were boring into Natsu's, his expression unreadable. It felt uncomfortable, being stared at like this.

"Gray?"

"What's wrong with you? Does the fact that I'm in love with you and we're a couple now change you so much that you won't even react to my taunts? I called you an idiot twice, accused you of theft, and implied that you're too stupid to read the clock, and your reaction is _nothing_? Is there something going on that you don't want to tell me about? Is that why you lied about the reason for staying at home?"

Natsu fixed his eyes on the floor. He hadn't given the taunts a second thought, and he noticed his mistake only now. He didn't really want to tell Gray the truth—because how could you tell the one you love that he was going to die in a few hours? That was just too cruel. On the other hand, not telling him could be just as cruel, depending on what Gray would want him to do. If he asked a question like, 'if something is going to happen to you, would you want to know?' then he'd know right away. But then again, Natsu would insist on taking him to Porlyusica later, so he'd notice anyway. Maybe it was best to get it over with as soon as possible.

He steeled himself, then looked back up into Gray's eyes. "You're going to die."

Gray's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything.

"That’s why Jellal is following us everywhere, the reason why time is being turned back by Ultear, the reason why I need to find a way to prevent it from happening..."

Gray stared at him in horror for a few seconds before stuttering something unintelligible. He cleared his throat, then tried again. "I... I see..." He swallowed heavily. "Y-you're not trying to pull my leg?"

Natsu looked him straight in the eye, and shook his head.

"O-oh god... I need... a moment." Gray turned his back to Natsu and walked a few steps away, pausing, then taking some more steps. Natsu saw him clench and unclench his fists many times.

Natsu didn't move while Gray was trying to sort his feelings. When Gray walked back to him a few minutes later, his expression was carefully neutral.

"Let's go buy your watch."

Gray grabbed Natsu's hand and pulled him along. How could he stay so calm? Natsu was sure he'd freak out if he were in Gray's position. But then he noticed Gray's free hand was clenched into a fist and shaking. Actually, Gray's whole body was shaking. His eyes looked glassy, and his bottom lip was pulled between his teeth. He was trying to hold back for Natsu's sake.

_'Thank you...'_

Natsu suspected that if he tried to comfort Gray now, he would lose his composure and burst out in tears. So he did the best thing he could do: distract Gray by pulling him from shop to shop, complaining about the stupid looking watches and how they didn't fit his style, how they made him look like an old man, or anything else that bugged him. He even managed to elicit a few smiles and a laugh from Gray.

It was the fourth shop in which Natsu finally found a watch he liked very much and that fit him. It was a [black, sporty model](https://www.galeria-kaufhof.de/p/ice-watch-ice-sporty-armbanduhr-black-white-sr-3h-bkw-u-s-15/2000112291?v=3000606334). It was waterproof, could be used as stopwatch, and it had a small window to show the day of the month. Upon the question if the watch was also heatproof, the salesperson shot him a suspicious look, but he couldn't answer. Natsu would just have to try it out, he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Important.](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/post/153564024163/appeal-to-readers)
> 
>  
> 
> Speculations on what the prophecy could mean, anyone? I'm curious.
> 
> Thanks for reading ^_^ See you next Sunday!


	6. Day 4 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ultear is still young in this fic, in case you were wondering.

When their shopping tour finished, it was already past five. Jellal had followed them in some of the shops, but he hadn't tried to come close to them.

They were running out of time, and Gray was growing more and more nervous with every second. Natsu dragged Gray into a deserted backstreet, and beckoned Jellal to join them.

"Is Ultear already here?" he asked as soon as Jellal was in earshot.

"Yes, since half an hour or so. She's waiting in the forest close to Magnolia, since she's not familiar with this town and doesn't know where you live. Meredy's here, too. She refused to let Ultear go alone."

"Then let's go!"

They didn't bother to use the streets anymore, instead jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Natsu reluctantly let go of Gray's hand. He could see that Gray was barely holding back his fear, and he wanted to do nothing more than hug him, tell him he would save him, be there for him. In that moment, he made a promise to himself: he'd never leave Gray's side again until he was saved—unless it was absolutely necessary.

As soon as Ultear and Meredy came into eyeshot, Meredy pushed Ultear behind her, taking a protective stance. Ultear sighed, put her hand on Meredy's shoulder, and told her to relax. But Meredy wasn't listening, so when Natsu, Gray, and Jellal stopped a few meters away from the two girls, her expression was grim, arms spread wide.

"If you dare even think about hurting Ultear, I swear I'll rip you apart!"

Ultear smiled behind her, then wrapped her arms around Meredy's waist. "I told you, he's fine. If they hurt me, they'll just hurt themselves. Gray's life cannot be saved if I die, and Natsu is in love with him, isn't that right?"

Gray flinched at her words, but Natsu took his hand and pressed it gently.

"Exactly. Ultear's helping us, and there's no way I'd risk losing Gray forever. There's not a single reason why I'd want to attack her. No reason to be hostile."

Meredy narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing Natsu. "If you try something fishy, I swear—"

"Yeah, you'll rip me apart, right? Can we actually get to the important part now? We don't have that much time left, so I'd rather not waste a second of it."

Shit. That had been a thoughtless thing to say. Gray squeezed his hand so tightly it hurt. Natsu looked over at him. Gray's jaw was set, his expression forced neutral, but the façade was crumbling. He was terrified. However, there was nothing Natsu could do about it right now. Helplessness wasn't a feeling he was used to, he didn't know how to deal with it, and he _hated_ it.

Thankfully Ultear snapped him out of his dark thoughts. "I can manipulate the time of an item so that it'll always return to a certain spot whenever time is turned back. Plus, if you have a diary, I can manipulate it so that what you wrote in it won't vanish. But for this I need to be on the spot where it's supposed to be bound. I assume you have the things in that bag?" Natsu nodded. "Then please lead me to wherever it is you're at when the day starts anew."

Natsu nodded again, then took off towards his house, feeling self-conscious about the state of his home. It wasn't _that_ untidy, but if he tried to remember the last time he'd dusted or cleaned anywhere, he came up empty. Was it a year? Maybe more. Ah well, what did it matter; nobody would be able to remember anyway. And it wasn't like anybody expected him to keep his house clean after all.

It turned out that nobody commented on the state of cleanliness. He led them into his bedroom, and on Ultear's demand, he put the closed and locked diary where he wanted it to be every time he woke up—on his bedside table. He put the chain with the key around his neck, and reached under his scarf to pull it through, so the key dangled over his chest, close to his heart. Then he put the watch on his left wrist, and told Ultear that he was done.

She asked everybody except for Natsu to leave the room, and once they were alone, she used her magic on the book and on him. His neck and his wrist tingled, but it was over in a flash.

Ultear turned to open the door, but Natsu grabbed her wrist, prompting her to turn back around, expression puzzled.

"Thanks... for everything. If it wasn't for you, Gray would be dead for good. Can I make this up to you somehow?"

She smiled at him. "Just make sure you'll save him, and take good care of him. Don't let my mother's sacrifice go to waste. That's all I want."

He was about to protest, but she shook her head to shut him up. He gulped, and nodded thankfully, then let go of her wrist.

It was already half past six, which meant they had about half an hour left before Gray would die. Natsu urged everyone on, determined to make it to Porlyusica's and make her prevent Gray's heart from giving out. Meredy and Ultear decided to come with them, and wait a safe distance away from her house.

Natsu refused to let go of Gray's hand even for a second on their way to Porlyusica's, and Gray desperately clung to it. He was pale, his palms sweaty, and his expression terrified. Natsu averted his eyes, and urged them to speed up even more.

Ultear, Meredy, and Jellal retreated into the woods when they arrived at Porlyusica's house. They didn't need to see what was going on; Natsu had told them the rough time when it would happen. They'd just check on Gray in a bit.

Porlyusica didn't react to Natsu's knocks at first, even though she was obviously at home—Natsu could hear her. He shouted, requesting her to open the door, but when she also didn't react to that, he threatened to kick in her door if she didn't open it. A second later the door opened a slit, with an annoyed Porlyusica behind it.

"Go away."

She was about to slam the door, but Natsu pushed his foot between the door and the doorframe. She snorted, and let a scrutinizing gaze wander over them. When she spotted their entwined hands, she snorted again, louder this time.

"If you've come here for a lesson on safe sex, I suggest you—"

"Gray will die if you don't help us."

This stunned her, but she regained her composure fairly quickly.

"He looks a bit pale, but he'll hardly die from that."

"His heart will stop."

"Oh? And since when can you see the future?"

Natsu grit his teeth, trying desperately not to lose his temper. "It's already happened before! Time has been turned back three times, _and if you don't help us, he'll die a fourth time!"_

Her eyes widened, and she reluctantly stepped back to let them in. She ordered Gray to lie down on her sofa, then asked Natsu some questions about the circumstances of Gray's impending death. She needed to ask Gray to take off his shirt three times before he understood and complied. Seeing him like that hurt almost as much as losing him did. Natsu crouched over him, held his hand, but Gray didn't look at him—he looked right through Natsu.

Porlyusica's glowing hands were on Gray's bare chest, and she had gone quiet after she'd got all the information she needed. The only thing Natsu could hear was Gray's erratic heartbeat. A glance to his watch told him that there were around five minutes left, and his heart broke all over again.

He found his lips pressed against Gray's a moment later, wondering when he'd even leaned down. He wanted to pull back, wanted to apologize, but he didn't get far until Gray's hand gripped his scarf and pulled him back down. Their lips met again, and it was the slowest, most chaste, yet most intense kiss they'd shared so far. It seemed to last an eternity, the lazy slide of lips against lips, the ever increasing and decreasing pressure. They parted only when Porlyusica cleared her throat.

Natsu couldn't tear his eyes away from Gray, and Gray wasn't looking away, either. There were so many emotions in his eyes—love, sadness, fear, longing.

"Natsu... No matter how many times the day repeats itself... please don't ever let me die in the belief you're into Lucy..."

Natsu felt his eyes welling up. "I promise..."

"And... if possible, don't tell me I'll die. It feels horrible."

Natsu bit his lower lip in an attempt to keep the tears from falling, but it was useless. Gray's hand came up to wipe the first tears away.

"Don't cry, I'm sure you'll find a way. Besides, Porlyusica's here now. I'm sure she can prevent a heart attack, and I won't die. It's probably the last time you need to undergo this day, and everything will be back to normal soon."

Gray smiled weakly, and Natsu scolded himself internally for making Gray comfort him when it should have been the other way around.

Natsu opened his mouth to answer, but before he could say anything, Gray clutched his chest in pain, letting out a strangled sound. The glow of Porlyusica's hand grew brighter, but Natsu could tell that it wasn't working. Gray's stare turned empty, and his heart gave up beating.

Porlyusica's hand glowed even brighter, and a second later she flinched, landing with her back on the floor. "I... I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry."

That sounded like she'd already given up!

Natsu heaved Gray down on the floor, and started giving him chest compressions. He could hear Gray's ribs breaking under his assault, but it didn't matter. Broken ribs could be healed.

_'Breathe, please, breathe, just breathe already, you idiot, you can't leave me alone again!'_

There was a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't stop.

"Natsu, stop. You can't revive him. If there was any hope that he could be revived, I would've done it myself. Usually when a mage dies, there's some magic left inside their body, and it slowly fades after death. However, Gray's magic... it's completely gone, from one second to the next. This isn't a natural death—he can't be revived... I'm sorry."

Natsu whirled around so abruptly it sent Porlyusica staggering backwards.

 _"What do you mean, 'not natural'?"_ he snarled.

"You said time has been reversed, and you're trying to save him now. But the death of somebody whose time on earth is over can't be averted."

"Then _how_ can I save him?"

She flinched at Natsu's angry tone, but answered with a steady voice, "As far as I know, there's no way. His death is inevitable."

Natsu gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. "I'll find a way. The prophecy says I can save him, so I will."

She looked at him with honest concern. "Don't destroy yourself over it. I can see how much pain this is causing you.

"I'm not weak."

"Never said you were; but everyone has their breaking point."

"As long as I don't stop believing that I can save him, I'll be fine."

Porlyusica's gaze was doubtful and worried, but she didn't say anything more.

There was a knock on her door, and she went to open it, cursing under her breath.

Natsu stared at Gray's dead body. It hurt way too much, seeing him like this. His face had gone slack, he looked peaceful, almost like he was smiling. _'As if you're just sleeping...'_

"Natsu!!"

Jellal pulled him away from Gray, saying something about 'sparing his feelings', and Natsu didn't put up a fight. Jellal led him into another room, ordered him to sit at the table, and then brought him the diary Natsu had hastily put in a rucksack before leaving his house.

He didn't feel at all like writing. He sighed and let his head drop onto the tabletop.

In the other room, he could hear Ultear and Porlyusica arguing about whether or not they had the right to be in her house. He wished they could just shut up.

"Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

_'Yes: Bring Gray back to life.'_

"Tell me how to write a diary."

"Oh. Well, usually you'd write a date above each entry, but I guess that doesn't make much sense here..." He trailed off, and Natsu could hear him scratching his scalp.

"Y-you could write 'Day 1', 'Day 2', maybe..." He trailed off again.

Natsu lifted his head to look at him, and found that Jellal's face was slightly flushed.

"You've never written a diary yourself, have you?"

"Ah, no. I haven't..."

"Never mind, I'm going to ask Lucy tomorr—ah, the next time I see her."

"Yes, please. Sorry."

Natsu dropped his head again, and this time he hit the tabletop so hard it hurt.

Jellal shifted around on his chair, obviously at a loss of how to handle the situation.

"I... I'll go and make sure Porlyusica doesn't kill Ultear," he forced out, and a second later he was gone. Finally.

Natsu banged his head against the tabletop once more. He should be using the time to make new plans for how to save Gray, but if Porlyusica said that there was no way his death could be averted, then it was most likely true. Out of all the mages he knew, Porlyusica was the one with the largest knowledge of healing magic. He would still ask Wendy for help. Maybe their magic was somehow different, and Wendy could save lives where Porlyusica couldn't.

Yeah, that was a plan for the next time. Either make Wendy stay at the guild, too, or go on that stupid mission again. At some point, he should probably collect more information on their enemies, so that once the issue with Gray was resolved, they could accomplish the mission without casualties.

"Stretch out your left arm."

Natsu nearly jumped from his chair. Ultear was right next to him, and he'd been too deep in thought to even notice her entering the room.

"Wh-why?"

"That's a watch, right? Earlier I manipulated it so that its time won't be reversed. So, if you don't want to adjust the time of that watch every time anew, you'd better give me your arm."

Natsu obliged, albeit a bit annoyed. It was over in a flash, and then Ultear slumped down in the chair opposite of him. Just then he noticed that Jellal and Meredy were also in the room, and that a fuming Porlyusica was shooting them vicious glances from the other room.

"Do you have some questions?"

"Yes. Why aren't you turning back time immediately after Gray's death?"

"Because I figured you might want to gather information. Or try to revive him. So I've decided to give you an hour. You can also use that time for writing your diary."

She had obviously given this much thought. But this was giving him too much time to grieve. Being able to see him again immediately would probably make it easier to cope with. On the other hand, like this he wouldn't have to waste time writing that he could actually _spend_ with Gray. It was probably better this way. He would just have to concentrate on writing to take his mind off of Gray's death.

_'And I should stop wasting time with thinking right now. Concentrate.'_

"Why did you send Jellal instead of just following Gray yourself?"

"Just to make sure I'm not hurt and can still perform the magic. Since it's obvious that there might be fighting involved if Gray dies, it's not that unlikely I'll get hurt in the process. I had Jellal call me at least once an hour to make sure he's alright, even if it was just calling, nodding in silence, and ending the conversation again. If he doesn't call me over one and a half hours, I'd assume that something happened and turn back time."

"But then if Jellal happened to be knocked out for a while, you would've turned back time even if nothing happened to Gray at all?"

"I have to rely on you to prevent such a thing. You were bound to find out eventually."

"And why did you still come here today even if it's not safe?"

"Because you have a point with wanting to write a diary. Meredy thinks you might have gone crazy already and tricked me somehow, but I don't share her opinion. Jellal said you act relatively normal, plus I'm keeping a diary of my own, so I know this is the fourth time and you're not lying to me. If there was any danger, you would've told me, right?"

Natsu sighed. "Aren't you trusting me way too much?"

"No. I figured that in order for this to turn out well, I have to trust you unequivocally."

"You could just help me search for a solution, and we'd be quicker to find one."

"Again, this would be putting myself in too much danger. Not because I'm cowardly, but because it could endanger the whole plan. Plus, I can't imagine I'd be of much help, anyway."

"Mh... But do you have any idea of how to solve this? Porlyusica said that Gray's time on earth is over, that turning back time doesn't help."

"That's what the prophecy says. 'Future can't be swayed.' You need to find another way, something that has to do with 'forming a bond' with Gray. Do you know what that could mean?"

Natsu blushed and averted his gaze. "W-well... We're in love, b-but we've already formed that bond last time and also this time..."

"And did you go _all the way_ yet?"

"W-what?"

"Have you had sex yet?"

Natsu choked on his saliva, and was unable to utter anything besides a few stammered, incoherent words.

"Oh for god's sake, Natsu. _Nobody_ besides you will remember this conversation, so could you stop being so flustered? I have to turn back time in a few minutes or the point I've set will fade, so stop _wasting_ time."

Taking a deep breath, Natsu focused his eyes back on Ultear. "No. We haven't."

"Then see that you do. It could save his life."

Since he was too embarrassed to answer, Natsu decided to change the topic. "Please tell me that prophecy again, so that I can write it down."

He opened his book, and fetched a pen from a nearby shelf. He wanted to write down the words on the first page, but then changed his mind, and turned a few pages before writing it down. Because who knew if he'd want to write a foreword or something alike one day.

Ultear got up from her seat once he finished writing, her hands already encompassed by a blue light. "Arc of Time: Last Ages!!"

Ultear hit the floor with her flat hands, and then she was surrounded by a pillar of blue light. She looked at Natsu one last time, saying, "Please don't give up," before the pillar expanded and Natsu's vision blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading & for all the feedback so far!!! Every single comment encourages me :)
> 
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> [My Tumblr](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/)
> 
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> [My 'Rewind' blog on Tumblr](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/)
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> 
> If there are any unanswered questions, please feel free to ask!
> 
> You may now proceed to read Chapter 1 of 'Natsu's Diary' ^_^ (although it's just the prophecy text, so feel free to skip)


	7. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a whole day in one chapter again, yay!
> 
> Have fun <33

Natsu didn't wake up screaming this time. He still trembled and sweated, but it wasn't as bad as the times before.

He sat up and stared at his palms. _'A bond, huh?'_ He _did_ want to have sex with Gray _eventually_ , it was just... he was nervous as hell. Sure, he pleasured himself on a regular basis, mostly with one of his toys, but real sex? The thought alone caused his trembling to increase. Yes, he knew how to prepare for sex, and he also knew what felt good, and he also knew that he wasn't alone and that Gray would probably know what to do, too, but still...

He shook his head vehemently. First, he needed to think about how to confess to Gray—again—without being awkward.

_'Maybe... first, make sure that I understand that you're not into Lucy... and drop one or two hints, try to flirt with me, and then confess?'_

That couldn't be so difficult now, could it? With all the tips Gray gave him, he was sure he would manage somehow.

Natsu took off his watch with shaking hands, seeing as it would draw attention immediately, and he didn't want to tip Gray off today. He made sure that the key and the chain it was attached to it was safely hidden under his muffler, and then wobbled to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help to calm his nerves.

***

Upon reaching the guild, he slumped down on the bench opposite of Gray. Not knowing how to start, he ended up staring at Gray in silence for a few minutes while Gray ignored him in favor of playing with his glass.

_'First, make sure I understand you're not into Lucy.'_

Natsu took a deep breath. "I'm not into Lucy!"

Gray eyed him warily, then answered in an annoyed tone, "I don't know why you bring this up now, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't believe you."

"Why?"

"Because your behavior says otherwise."

"You're mistaken. I'm in love with someone else. Lucy found out a while back, and since then, I could openly talk to her about my feelings. I don't need to hide it from her. That's why I'm happy being around her."

Gray raised an eyebrow, studying Natsu's face warily. Natsu could hear Gray's heart rate pick up.

"Oh? Well, that's good for you, I guess."

He wasn't pushing, but neither was he taking his gaze off Natsu's face.

"Yeah, it's a huge relief, after keeping my feelings bottled up for so long. After all, I've been feeling this way since I was around thirteen."

Gray's pulse quickened even more, but he didn't let on.

"That's a long time."

_'Time to use one of the tips Gray gave me. "Tell me that it's a 'he' you're in love with while looking at me and being nervous." Okay, be nervous. How do I pretend to be nervous when I already know his answer? Think about something embarrassing. Sex. Think about sex. Sex with Gray... My hand around Gray's hard cock, stroking him...'_

Natsu felt his cheeks heating up. "Y-yeah, well... I... I haven't found the courage to confess to him yet."

 _"Him?"_ Gray's cheeks reddened.

"Yes. I'm in love with a guy. Got a problem with that?"

"N-not at all!" Gray hastily made a dismissive gesture, looking even more flustered.

_'So this is how flirting works, huh? Not that difficult after all.'_

"Although he pisses me off most of the time, I can't help feeling warm and fuzzy whenever he's close to me... And the desire to touch him, to kiss him... is maddening."

Gray's lips were slightly parted, his breath ragged. He leaned towards Natsu, probably subconsciously.

"Wh-why are you... telling me... all this?"

"Because I have the impression–" Natsu stretched out his hand until he could run his fingers over Gray's cheek– "that he's interested in me, too."

Despite being an ice mage, Gray's cheeks were warm, nearly hot to the touch.

"W-w-well, y-you sh-should ask h-him then."

Natsu smiled involuntarily. "How would you feel about only the two of us going to my house?" He ran his thumb carefully over Gray's lips, and continued with a lowered voice, "I'm sure we'll find an even better way than fighting to spend time..."

Gray didn't show any physical reaction other than gaping at Natsu for a few heartbeats, the color in his cheeks rising even more. He didn't even _breathe_.

Natsu was getting worried Gray might faint, scolding himself for overdoing it, but then Gray took a deep breath, and blurted out, "Yes!"

There was a clap, then a second one joined in, and soon they were met with a series of applause and congratulations from their guild mates. Gajeel stirred, woken up by the loud sounds around him. He looked around in confusion, and then went over to Levy to ask what he'd missed.

Gray buried his face in his palms.

Gajeel shouted in a teasing tone, "So ice boy and flame boy got it bad for each other, eh? I bet you beat the crap out of each other to decide who gets to top, gihi!"

Judging from the way Gray squirmed at this, he was dying of embarrassment. But Natsu wouldn't budge. He jumped to his feet, raised a fist, and shouted, "Well, at least we _have_ somebody to do it with."

This seemed to hit a nerve with Gajeel; he was on his feet in the blink of an eye, mirroring Natsu's gesture, and shouting, "What was that, you—"

"Solid Script: Gag!" 

Levy's face was flushed. She had trouble holding Gajeel back, who wanted to charge at Natsu. When he was about to break free, she leaned in and kissed his upper arm, which caused Gajeel to blush heavily and stop his efforts immediately.

Natsu had a tease already on his lips, but Gray reacted too fast for him. He dragged Natsu out of the guild hall while covering his mouth with one hand. Only when the door closed behind them did he let go.

"Hey! I wanted to tease Gajeel a bit!"

"Yeah, as if that wasn't already embarrassing enough! Don't you have any shame?"

"Why? I didn't do any—"

"Bragging about _sex_ which we didn't even have yet, and in front of Wendy no less. Didn't you see how flustered she was?"

"Err..."

A smack to the back of his head.

"H-hey!"

"That's your own fault for being an idiot. Now come on, let's go, before you decide to go back in and find another embarrassing thing to do or say."

And with that, Gray took off in the direction of Natsu's house, not looking back to check whether Natsu followed. Natsu wanted to complain, wanted to stop Gray, tell him that he needed to do something important first, but Gray was already out of earshot. Sighing, he decided to tell them later—they still had a good five hours until the departure of the train after all.

Natsu grabbed Gray's hand as soon as he caught up, which made Gray blush and stammer, but he didn't attempt to withdraw his hand.

It was astounding how much Gray's behavior changed when Natsu acted differently. It made him wonder whether there was a way to turn Gray into a self-confident hunter if Natsu just acted like the shy prey. If he unmistakably signaled Gray that he was interested, but too shy to act on his feelings, maybe then Gray would jump into action?

"Natsu... Why now?"

"Huh?"

"I mean... you said you've been into me for about _six years_ , yet you've never acted upon your feelings until today. What changed your mind?"

Should he lie? Would it ruin the mood if he told the truth? Would he ruin his _own mood_ if he lied? Probably. Truth without the part where Gray died, then.

"You'd never believe me."

"How can you know that if you don't try?"

"Oh, I _did_ try. You didn't believe me... at first."

This earned him a suspicious glance. "I don't understand what you're getting at."

"Yeah, well. It's because this day keeps repeating itself with me being the only one who can remember. It's the fifth time, and we confessed to each other already twice."

Gray stopped short in his tracks. He blinked rapidly, wearing an incredulous expression.

"Okay. You're right. I don't believe you."

Natsu pulled Gray into a tight hug before whispering into Gray's ear, "You've already invited me to your flat once. We went there together. You made me wait outside so you could remove the pictures of me. We cuddled on your huge bed."

Gray pushed him away at the shoulders, but Natsu refused to let go, so they ended up with their faces close to each other's and their lower halves still pressed together. Gray stared at him wide-eyed and flustered.

"Y-you mean we had... uh..."

"Sex?"

Gray's reaction was just too cute—he bit his lower lip, closed his eyes, and gave a small nod.

"No. We haven't done anything sexual yet. This would be the first time."

Lowering his head, Gray leaned forward until his forehead rested on Natsu's. He didn't open his eyes when he said, "I'm still... a virgin. A-and you?"

"What do you think? I've been in love with you since puberty."

"W-well, you could always do it with somebody just for... pleasure?"

"I'd never do that. What's the point of it if you don't love your partner?"

Tentatively, Gray opened his eyes, pulled back a little, and smiled.

Natsu couldn't resist; his body moved of its own volition, closing the distance between them, pressing his lips against Gray's. Like always, the first few seconds of the kiss were one-sided and awkward, but once Gray overcame his initial shock, he reciprocated all too willingly, carefully sliding his lips against Natsu's, testing, gaining more courage with every second.

This time Natsu wanted to go all out, so he shoved his tongue into Gray's mouth, reveling in the surprised sound this earned him. He took advantage of the parting of Gray's jaw, and involved his tongue in a heated fight, while sliding his hands suggestively lower and lower until he reached Gray's waistband. A moan escaped Gray's throat, and Natsu was barely holding one back, himself. With their crotches being pressed together, they could both tell what effect they had on the other.

But they were still out in the open, only halfway to Natsu's house. Even if nobody—except for Jellal—was around, they shouldn't be doing such a thing there. Although he had to admit that the danger of being caught had a tempting side to it. Another time.

Gray seemed to have the same thought, seeing as he pushed Natsu away brusquely, hissing.

"Your house. _Now."_

They ran the rest of the way, not bothering to hold hands or talk.

When they reached the house, Natsu opened the door, nearly dropping the keys in his haste. Gray didn't bother commenting on the state of cleanliness in Natsu's house. He just took his shoes off and urged Natsu on to lead him to the bedroom. Gray pouted at the sight of the small bed, but the expression vanished when Natsu practically threw him onto it.

Natsu took his shoes off hastily, and then crawled onto the still fully dressed Gray, straddling his hips.

"Do you want me to take off your clothes?"

Gray let out a strangled moan. "Yes, _please."_

Natsu bent down and kissed Gray, fumbling with the belt loop and the button of Gray's jeans meanwhile. They were both already well on the way to getting hard, and Natsu's insides burned with desire. He broke the kiss, and slid down on the bed, taking Gray's pants with him. On his way back up, he paused when his face was level with Gray's crotch, now only covered with the thin fabric of his boxers.

If he just lowered his head a bit more, or stretched out his tongue... He could already very clearly smell the musky scent of Gray's arousal, and it turned him on even more. He gulped. Being so close to Gray's crotch... it made him nervous.

"Natsu... Everything okay?"

Gray looked at him with a worried expression.

He quickly crawled up and lay down chest to chest on Gray. "I'm just... a bit nervous, I guess. It's my first time after all."

Gray's expression softened, and his hands came up to cradle Natsu's face. "It's alright. There's no pressure. I'm nervous as well."

The way Gray looked at him, the glint in his eyes, the slight trembling of his limbs—his whole body language said that he trusted Natsu unconditionally.

_'What am I doing here? I'm withholding a part of the truth, I'm about to have sex with the one I love not because I feel ready, but because I want to save him. It feels like I'm betraying his trust...'_

Natsu rolled off of Gray, forgetting that his bed was way too small for such an expansive move. He hit his head at the edge of the nightstand, and then landed on the floor with a dull thud.

"Na-Natsu?!"

Gray was on the floor next to him in no time, and pressed an icy hand against the spot where Natsu's head had hit the nightstand.

Natsu gulped. "Sorry."

"You're freaking out, mh?"

Again that worried look.

"I was about to have sex with you for all the wrong reasons..."

Gray's eyes widened. "Do you want to talk about it?"

_'Yes, but no... Having sex with you and making you think everything's okay feels like betrayal. Telling you would be neglecting your plea not to tell you. But I feel like I'm about to burst inside, with all the weight on my shoulders. I want to rescue you, and I want you to know my reasons. There are so many decisions I need to make. Decisions I think you should have a say in...'_

"I can see you're fighting with yourself. Please let me in on what's worrying you."

"I don't want to burden you..."

"And I don't like to see you suffer silently like this. Whatever it is, let me help... please."

"No, you don't understand... I'm trying to spare you. The last time, you even asked me not to tell you."

Gray studied his face attentively for some seconds before asking, "Is something bad going to happen?"

Natsu flinched. He'd been too careless, given too many hints. It was too late to talk himself out of it.

"Well... yeah. Can we move to somewhere more comfortable for this?"

They decided to sit on the bed, cross-legged and facing each other.

Natsu took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at Gray. "Y-you are... going to... uh..."

Gray's fist clenched, and he gulped. "What?" 

"Err... d-die."

Gray froze, staring into space for a while, his face carefully neutral the whole time.

"Y-you..." He trailed off, then sighed, and tried anew. "S-so earlier... y-you lied?" Gray asked, a hint of hurt in his eyes.

What exactly was he referring to? Did not telling the whole truth qualify as lying? Gray seemed to take his hesitation as affirmation.

"I... I see... I'm going to die, so you want to fulfill my biggest wish before that... You found out that I'm... in love with you... For my sake, you lied to me, and you were about to give me your virginity..."

"No! It's not like that at all!"

"Then... Did you want to try how it is to have sex with a guy?"

If Gray really believed that this could be true, then _how the hell_ could he stay that calm? Shouldn't he rather feel used, betrayed, disgusted?

"Why... aren't you angry at me?"

Sighing, Gray shifted a bit so that he could grab Natsu's shoulders. He locked eyes with Natsu. There wasn't even a trace of anger or hate—only sadness and acceptance.

"Ever since the moment I accepted my feelings for you, I couldn't stop thinking about all the possible outcomes, no matter if they were likely or not. I also considered the possibility that you would sleep with me for reasons other than love—maybe to relieve stress or because you're curious... and I had an internal battle over the correct reaction in such a situation for a long time. If I refused and scared you off with that, I would forever wonder about what might have happened if I accepted, and hate myself for that decision. I would persuade myself that I could have made you fall for me if I just tried. Even if it didn't work out between the two of us in the end, I could have found a way to save our friendship. At least then I wouldn't beat myself up over the fact that I didn't even try. So... I'd never refuse, no matter what reasons you might have for wanting to have sex with me... But please... don't force yourself."

Natsu threw himself into Gray's arms once he'd finished. Luckily his bed didn't have a bar at its foot, or Gray's head would have bumped against it. Gray looked taken aback and puzzled. It was as if he'd already accepted that Natsu didn't love him.

"I... I didn't lie when I said that I'm in love with you. It's just... I don't want to rush things... I wanted to get closer to you... bit by bit."

Gray's eyebrows furrowed. "You're not ready yet, and you feel pressured because I'll die?"

Natsu buried his face in the crook of Gray's neck. "Almost. I think that having sex with you might save you. That's why..."

There, it was out. Gray would probably laugh at him for such a stupid assumption, or scold him for thinking too much.

What he hadn't expected at all was warm arms hugging him tightly, a hand caressing his hair, and Gray answering in a soft tone, "That sounds ridiculous. But even if it was true, I wouldn't want you to force yourself to do something you're not comfortable with. If time is being turned back, then it doesn't make any difference if I die or not, right?"

"A-actually... time is being turned back _because_ you die every time..."

Gray wanted to know the details, so Natsu told a short form of his story. Gray listened attentively, asked some questions when he didn't understand something, but he didn't let on any negative reactions. He was holding back for Natsu's sake _again_.

"That means... Jellal is watching us even now?"

"Ah... maybe not _all the time_ , but yes. I bet he's sitting in one of the trees outside."

Gray blushed. "He'd watch us while we're having... sex?"

"Probably. But you actually like that, right?"

The blush on Gray's face intensified. "I... uh. W-well, maybe? I mean... u-uhm. Yeah."

Natsu poked Gray's side, which caused him to let out a surprised laugh. Interesting. Natsu hadn't known that Gras was ticklish. He filed this information away for later. Maybe he could tickle Gray until he was gasping for breath.

"I figured. You're a kinky exhibitionist after all."

Gray's pout was just too cute, and Natsu needed all his self-control not to attack him with another poke or a pull on his cheeks.

"That's just the way I am, idiot. But I'd never expect you to do anything you don't like; I hope you kn—"

Natsu leaned in and pressed his lips to Gray's to shut him up. Because how dare he be so considerate and adorable? They sunk back into the mattress without breaking their kiss, with Natsu on top. Their lips slid against each other's softly, carefully. Since Natsu knew that Gray liked it, he opened his mouth and pulled Gray's bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling playfully, teasing Gray with his sharp canines, careful not to break the skin.

A content sigh escaped Gray's lips, and Natsu could feel Gray's cock filling out again as the kiss went on. He smiled against Gray's lips, and teased him even more, but was pushed back a few seconds later.

Gray glared at him, but the blush on his face and his panting lessened the effect. "If you don't stop this, I might just jump you."

"No, you won't. You're too considerate."

Natsu stretched his tongue out to annoy Gray, but he wasn't prepared for Gray catching it between his fingers and covering the tip in ice.

"Ehhh, fat'f anfair!"

Gray smirked, and kept Natsu in suspense for a few seconds, but when his ice began to steam, he let out a laugh and dissipated it.

"I can't feel my tongue, baftard!"

"Ohh? I'm _so_ sorry!"

Natsu launched himself at Gray, attacking the ticklish spot he'd found earlier. Gray burst out in laughter, trying to tickle Natsu back, but he was rendered defenseless by Natsu's ruthless assaults. Natsu found out that Gray had many ticklish spots at his sides, stomach and under his armpits, and he exploited his new knowledge until Gray was a gasping, wriggling, begging mess. He took pity on him eventually, but as soon as Gray had control over his limbs again, he went for a counter attack. Natsu hadn't known he was ticklish until then, although his reaction wasn't as immediate as Gray's. He could easily hold back his laughter at the beginning, but the more Gray tickled him, the harder it became. It didn't take long for him to end up the same way Gray had, and Gray didn't release him until he'd suffered about as long as Gray had. Gray laughed throughout the whole thing, so he was as breathless as Natsu was by the time he released him.

They exchanged kisses while their breath evened out, lying on the bed, entangled with each other. The next half hour was spent talking and kissing. Natsu showed Gray his diary and what was already written in it. Gray insisted that Natsu and Ultear were misinterpreting the prophecy and that he didn't see any reason why their sex life should have any impact on his death. Naturally, he didn't let the opportunity slip to make fun of Natsu's 'mighty sperm' being able to 'prevent the world from falling apart' as per the prophecy. He managed to make Natsu doubt his and Ultear's conclusion, although he wasn't entirely convinced. Gray squeezed the promise out of Natsu that he wouldn't take this assumption into account when deciding on the point of when he felt ready for sex.

When they next checked the time, it was already ten o'clock. They decided that going to the guild and telling their friends the truth was for the best. Gray agreed that there was no reason to go on the mission if they didn't know how to prevent his death yet. Natsu noticed the small flinch every time they talked about it, but he didn't comment. Gray's decision was probably heavily influenced by the fear of being dissolved if they went vs. the relatively 'normal' death of a heart attack if they stayed. Natsu admired the calmness with which Gray handled the issue of his own impending death, even if it was just on the outside. He was sure he'd freak out if he were in Gray's shoes.

Gray advised Natsu to gather more information on their enemies, their goals, and the way the fights went if it was Gajeel vs. Ichika, and Lucy vs. Bubbles. He was convinced that the search for a solution was far more complicated than just having sex, that Natsu would know when he got closer to his goal, and thus have time to prepare for the day when he would succeed in saving Gray.

Natsu planned on keeping Wendy from going on the mission as well, but Gray vehemently refused this. What if somebody got hurt on the mission? And what if the enemy healer—Yushin—just pretended to heal, but actually hurt their friends even more? On the off chance that Gray wouldn't die this time, they shouldn't put their friends into more danger than was necessary. Or on the chance that the turning back of time could reverse only Gray's death, and nobody else's. Plus, if Porlyusica said she could neither prevent his death nor revive him, then Wendy wouldn't be able to do it, either.

Natsu reluctantly admitted that Gray had a point there, and so they walked to the guild hall, never letting go of each other's hand. Juvia wanted to throw herself at Gray the moment they stepped into the guild hall, but Gray created ice bars that prevented her from reaching them, and kissed Natsu while everyone was watching. After convincing her that he _really_ was in a relationship with Natsu, she ran away, crying.

After everyone had congratulated them and calmed down, Natsu explained the situation. He tried his best to leave out unnecessary information, seeing as they didn't have that much time left.

When his explanation was finished, Natsu asked Lucy on advice about how to write a diary, but the only tip he got was: "Write down what you deem important and don't want to forget. It's a diary and meant to be read only by you, so you can do with it whatever you want."

They left the guild after lunch and wishing their friends good luck on the mission. Happy willingly stayed behind with Mirajane again. Natsu and Gray had agreed on using the rest of the day for bringing Natsu's diary up to date, seeing as he'd written down only the prophecy so far.

They spent the next few hours at Natsu's house on his bed, talking, writing, bickering ("I'm _not_ cute, what the hell?! ... Sweet? What am I, a candy? ... I'm also not _ado_ —oh, well. No, it's fine. Just leave it.") and thinking about theories on what the prophecy could mean, but they all sounded ridiculous at best. Gray suggested that Natsu should probably read the prophecy out to the whole guild and ask them for help. Maybe together they could come up with something that made sense. Natsu decided that he'd do exactly that the next time.

When he finished writing, he sighed in relief. Gray took the book and the pen from Natsu's lap, but instead of putting it back on the nightstand, he pulled his knees up and rested the book against them so that he could write. To Natsu's annoyance, he couldn't see the pages, so he was about to get up and crawl behind Gray.

"No. Stay where you are. You can read it later, just... not now."

There was a blush on Gray's cheeks, and his gaze was fixed on the book. He was embarrassed by what he was about to write? Now that was cute! Natsu felt his lips tug into a fond smile.

"Fine. Do you wanna lean against the headboard? It's more comfortable to write here."

Gray accepted the offer thankfully and began to write.

Since Natsu didn't have anything to do, he already felt bored a few seconds later. He couldn't comment on what Gray wrote or make fun of it, like Gray had done earlier. If he tried to steal a kiss, Gray would surely think he was trying to cheat. The only part he could safely touch without being suspected were Gray's feet and maybe his elbows. So he lay down on his chest with his head close to Gray's feet, and touched them carefully.

The sound of pen scraping against paper stopped immediately. Natsu didn't know what to make of it at first, but then he heard Gray sigh near inaudibly. He put more pressure into his touches, and he could tell that Gray was holding back sounds of enjoyment.

"Hey... Are you trying to distract me? I'll need much longer to write at this rate."

"Err... Can't you just continue writing while I massage your feet?"

"No, I can't. They seem to be a sensitive spot... I can't concentrate on writing like this."

"Then you'll be aroused when I massage your feet?"

"Not like that, idiot! It just... makes me feel warm and content."

Natsu smiled involuntarily.

"Then... what else can I do? I want to be close to you and touch you."

He heard Gray swallow. "W-well, you could... let me blindfold you... Th-then I'd let you snuggle up with me."

This made Natsu shoot up straight. Gray's face was flushed, and his eyes wouldn't meet Natsu's.

"Are you carrying a blindfold with you?"

Gray looked at him, baffled. "I'm not _that_ perverted, idiot. I was thinking about using my shirt or any other item of clothing..."

"Ohh? I hope you noticed that you just admitted that you _are_ a huge perv—ouch! Hey!"

Natsu rubbed his shoulder where Gray had kicked him rather powerfully. Gray glowered at him, but after a few seconds he sighed, and admitted, "Yes, well. I _am_ a pervert when it comes to you. Satisfied? Now, do you want to snuggle up to me or not?"

Naturally, Natsu agreed, with the condition that Gray would use his shirt as blindfold. A minute later found him curled up against Gray's naked upper body, lazily stroking his fingers over taut muscles and soft skin.

It didn't take long for Natsu to get dizzy with the intense scent, the warmth of Gray's body, the incredibly good feeling of Gray's skin under his fingers.

Gray asked him to stop the stroking a few times, but Natsu couldn't restrain himself for more than a few seconds. Gray sighed and gave up after a few attempts. His fast heartbeat was reassuring and soothing, and Natsu tried not to fall asleep, but it was a lost cause.

***

"—up——pyhead."

There was something warm and soft on his cheek. It felt heavenly, but Natsu was reluctant to let go of his dream. He and Gray had a good time, with lots of cuddling, kisses, and also sex. Oh yes, the sex was good. Sometimes raw, sometimes slow and romantic... He'd like to do it again. But the warmth that wanted to tear them apart was insistent, and it was no longer only on his cheek; it was everywhere. On his legs, his stomach, his chest, around his neck.

"Mhhhh."

He snuggled closer to the warmth, feeling safe and content. There was a warm hand caressing his hair, and Natsu leaned into the touch instinctively, letting out another content sigh.

Soft laughter rang out next to him. "You're really clingy when you're asleep."

_'Gray. Gray? Shit, I fell asleep!'_

Natsu wanted to sit up, but he found his limbs firmly intertwined with Gray's. Their faces were so close that Natsu had difficulty making out Gray's expression. Judging from the fondness in his eyes, he was probably smiling.

Hadn't Natsu been blindfolded when he'd fallen asleep? Gray must have taken it off at some point.

But more importantly: "How long was I asleep?"

"Just a few minutes. It's shortly after six now."

Shortly after six... That meant they had less than an hour left. Natsu's heartbeat quickened instantly, panic rising in his gut. He clung to Gray like a lifeline.

"Shh... No need to panic, Natsu. We'll see each other again soon. Please don't let my death get to you."

Natsu tightened his grip even more. "As if it's that easy! I don't want you to die _at all_!"

Gray brought one hand up to caress Natsu's hair, and the other one wrapped tighter around his hips. "I know... I'm just... worried for your mental health."

"I'm strong."

"I know you are... But so am I, and if I imagine seeing you die over and over again... I'm sure I'd go crazy after a while... So please, at least try not to let my repeated death get to you... Maybe it's better if you don't see me dying."

Natsu pushed Gray away and then pinned him on the mattress, scowling. "No way! I won't leave you alone!"

Gray turned his head to the side, and let out a small sigh. "Yeah, I thought so... I'd react the same way... But I'm seriously worried about you."

Natsu buried his nose in the crook of Gray's neck. "How can you be so selfless when you know you'll die soon?"

"Because I'll forget it, but you're the one who has to deal with the agony. Promise me you'll lean on me when it gets too much."

Natsu pushed himself up, looked Gray into the eyes for a moment, and then leaned down until their mouths were nearly touching. He whispered "I promise" before laying his lips on Gray's.

They spent the better part of the next hour on Natsu's bed cuddling, kissing, exchanging sweet words of affection and reassurance. Gray interrupted it once nearing the end, saying he wanted to change something he wrote in the diary. It took him only a few seconds before he was back in Natsu's arms.

Gray died in Natsu's arms, with tears in his eyes, and Natsu thought that if he didn't tell Jellal, he'd probably just think that Gray had fallen asleep. Natsu didn't try to revive him this time; he knew it was futile. He turned Gray onto his back, watching the sad expression on his motionless face for a few moments, before opening the window and beckoning Jellal to come and verify for himself that Gray was dead.

Jellal didn't leave Natsu's bedroom before calling Ultear, and after they disconnected, he intended to drag Natsu away from his dead boyfriend. But Natsu wanted to stay by Gray's side. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the pale face, from the lips he'd kissed just minutes ago. Lips that were still warm to the touch.

He noted distantly that Jellal complained about a bleeding nose, but Natsu didn't care. It was his own fault for wanting to separate them.

The hour went by, and nothing else happened. Natsu just sat there apathetically, staring at Gray, running his fingers through his hair, over his face, his neck. Jellal stopped his efforts eventually when he noticed that Natsu still had enough strength to hurt him.

By the time Natsu's vision blacked out, he felt empty and lifeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may now proceed to read Chapter 2 of [Natsu's Diary](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8748085/chapters/20213383).
> 
> Please kudo & comment on the main fic unless it's solely something that concerns the diary entries.
> 
> A _**huge**_ thanks to everyone who's continuously supporting me with nice messages on tumblr, likes/reblogs on tumblr, comments on ffn and AO3, kudos/favs/follows/bookmarks/subscriptions!! You're the light of my (admittedly very dark) days (lately). Don't ever underestimate the power you have over my wellbeing!


	8. Day 6 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, I just wanted to give this chapter a last check before I uploaded it, and I started crying for real. Therefore: **Tissue warning!**
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Or maybe it's just because I was already sad before I started editing~~
> 
>  
> 
> Well, anyway: Enjoy!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already mentioned that this is non canon compliant, but here's additional information I couldn't include in the story without sounding weird:
> 
> The Tenrou Arc, the Tartaros Arc, and the Alvarez Arc never happened and won't happen in this fic. Meaning that nobody knows where Zeref is, what he looks like, or if he's even alive. Nobody knows that Natsu is his demon and his brother. Gray isn't a devil slayer.  
> And, although I think I already mentioned it before: Ultear is still young.  
> I think that's the most important part. If there's any confusion, please don't hesitate to ask me, so I can clear up potential misunderstandings.

Natsu woke up feeling empty and powerless, trembling slightly. He considered turning around and lying in his bed for a while longer, but then he remembered that Gray had written something in his diary.

He reached blindly for it. The motion made him realize that the watch was back on his wrist, even though he hadn't put it back on.

He sat up, and leaned against the headboard before unlocking and opening the diary. Gray had put the sewed in bookmark between the pages he'd written on, so Natsu didn't need to search.

_I love you from the bottom of my heart, Natsu._

His heart fluttered. This explained why Gray hadn't wanted him to see what he'd been writing... It sounded like the beginning of a very cheesy love letter. If somebody had told him a few days ago that Gray was a romantic, he would've laughed at that person.

Natsu gulped, trying to ignore the tingling in his eyes.

 _I never was in love with anyone else, and I can't imagine ever being in love with anyone that is_ not you. _Even before I fell in love with you, I could never imagine a life without you. Today showed me that you feel the same way, and now I know you'd be just as miserable without me as I would be without you. So please, for the sake of both of us: don't ever give up until you find a way to save my life. I want to spend a long life with you by my side. Right now your body is pressed against mine. I've never felt so happy before, and yet I'm sad. My chest hurts when I think that our time is over soon and next time we see each other, I won't be able to remember a thing._

Natsu's eyes welled up, and his sight blurred. Sniffling, he wiped his eyes with the bed sheet before continuing to read.

_I'd like to record all the things that happened between us today, all the kisses, touches, love confessions. All the silly things we said, the way we teased each other. I love every second of it. ~~I really don't know what I should do. I feel torn between asking you to wait with everything sexual until this is all over and telling you to~~ go ahead with it when you feel ready. I want to be able to remember, yet I don't want you to hold back when you want more. (Forget what I wrote. When you want it, go for it!)_

A small laughter escaped his lips, but the tears wouldn't stop.

_I know I asked you not to tell me about my death if possible, and it's still true that I'd prefer not knowing it if I had the choice, but here's another plea that's far more important: Please share your sorrow with me and let me help you. Please lean on me when it gets too much. Your mental health is far more important than my temporary worries. I'll make you promise. Please keep it._

_I believe in you. You're strong, both physically and mentally. You'll find a way to save me, and then we can spend our lives together. Please always keep this in mind. Never give up. You're not alone. I'll always be there for you._

Natsu stared at the text for a while, tears running down his cheeks rapidly.

_'Gray...'_

He shut the diary and put it back on the bedside table. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. With the next exhale, he pushed aside all negative thoughts, opening his eyes with firm resolution.

He took another deep breath, then blurted out, "I'm all fired up!!" before dashing into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

***

When Natsu emerged from the bathroom, dressed only in a towel wrapped around his hips, he was in high spirits, but when he noticed Happy staring at him, wide eyed and crying, Natsu froze. Happy was sitting on his bed with the open diary lying in front of him. He'd forgotten to lock the diary before taking a shower. _Stupid!_

"N-Natsu... Th-that's not true, right?"

Natsu hung his head low, clenching his fists. "I wish it wasn't."

"B-but Gray belongs with you! He _can't_ die!"

Natsu gulped, steeled himself internally, and met Happy's forlorn gaze. "Yeah. That's why I'll find a way to save him!"

Happy shouted with a teary voice, "Promise!" and Natsu couldn't help but smile sadly.

He'd already made so many promises nobody besides him would be able to remember. It showed how much they trusted and believed in him that they still wanted to squeeze a promise out of him.

"I promise." It went without saying that Natsu would find a way to save Gray, but if Happy wanted him to promise, then he would. It seemed to meet its purpose, seeing as Happy came flying right into his arms, crying even more than before.

Between sobs, Happy said, "I want... t-to live to-together... with y-you and G-Gray... w-we can be... a h-happy little fa-family..."

Natsu tightened his grip around Happy. "I want that, too. Come on, let's get ready to go, so we can do something about this situation."

"A-ayee!"

***

On their way to the guild hall, Happy asked some questions on what had happened the previous times and if he could help somehow. Natsu asked him to act normally until Erza and Lucy were there and Natsu started his explanation. He was carrying the diary in his rucksack, and he'd made sure that the key was well hidden in his scarf, so nobody would notice any difference at first, except for the fact that he was wearing a watch.

Natsu pondered whether to confess to Gray before he started his explanation or wait until he'd ask during the explanation, but when they reached the guild hall, he hadn't come to a conclusion yet.

Seeing Gray sitting there, bored and tired, playing with his glass of water, unaware of everything they'd done the previous time, unaware of Natsu's feelings, choked him up. Happy gave him a small pat on the shoulder before flying off to the bar. He'd probably meant it to be encouraging, but the effect was the opposite: Natsu needed all his self-control to fight back the tears that threatened to form in his eyes.

He went over to his usual place opposite of Gray, but he couldn't do anything besides stare at him.

Gray looked up, and apparently Natsu's expression showed all his emotions, since Gray's eyes widened.

"What's wrong?"

Natsu knew that even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to say more than a word or two, and his voice would be shaky, so he went for pulling his lower lip between his teeth and shaking his head.

Gray leaned forward, a worried look on his face. "It's unusual for you to be here this early in the morning. Did something happen?"

Again, the only thing Natsu could manage was mutely shaking his head. He couldn't stand seeing Gray's worried expression and know that he was probably thinking that Lucy was the reason for it.

Natsu registered that Erza had arrived at the guild hall, but he didn't take his attention off Gray.

"You don't look like nothing happened. Does it have something to do with Lucy?"

"N-no!"

"It's okay, you can tell—"

Natsu stood up abruptly, his fists clenched, arms shaking.

"Natsu?"

In a single bound, Natsu was on the other side of the table, right next to Gray, pulling him into a tight hug. 

"N-Natsu, what—"

"Shut up," Natsu interrupted with a husky voice.

"B-but what are you...?"

Natsu tightened his grip, pulling Gray as close to himself as possible. Gray's heartbeat was incredibly fast, and when Natsu boldly snuggled his head against Gray's shoulder, Gray's pulse quickened even more.

"Can't you tell?"

"I... uh... h-hey, people are staring at us..."

Natsu grabbed Gray's hand and pressed it against his chest where his own heart was hammering against his ribcage. He brought his mouth close to Gray's ear, and then whispered, "So let them stare. All I care about right now is you. Do you understand?"

"N-not... really? What's gotten into you? Are you scared? Y-your heart is—"

"—beating fast because I'm close to you. It's always like that."

Natsu could hear Gray gulping. "S-so you mean... you're..."

Instead of answering, Natsu craned his neck and pressed his lips against Gray's. Gray gasped, didn't move for several seconds, but then pushed Natsu firmly away. He was short of breath, his face flushed.

"Are you... pulling my leg?"

Sighing, Natsu grabbed Gray's wrists, removed them from his shoulders, and intertwined their fingers. He stared at Gray head-on.

"I'm in love with you."

Gray flinched, and his eyes widened. "B-but what about—"

"Lucy? I'm not in love with her and never was. It's always been you. Lucy said I'm not hiding it very well..."

"She _knew_?"

Before Natsu could answer, Lucy tossed in, " _Of course_ I knew, as did nearly everyone else." Natsu hadn't even noticed her entering the guild hall—he'd been too focused on Gray.

They both turned towards Lucy without letting go of each other. She lifted her hands in a defensive gesture. "You two go on, don't mind me or anybody else. You were in the middle of confessing." She blushed and averted her gaze.

Natsu turned back, smiling at Gray's expression—incredulous, flushed, and open mouthed.

"I... I need a moment to... process this." And with that, he removed his hands from Natsu's grip, and sat down.

Since everyone was present and Natsu didn't want to push Gray into giving an answer, he decided it was time for his explanation. So he opened his rucksack, pulled out the diary, jumped on the bar next to where Wendy was sitting, and then put the diary down on the bar next to his feet. Mirajane protested, but he ignored it. Before he started, a thought occurred to him: their master was surely also present, but in his office. So he dragged Makarov into the main hall before jumping on the bar once more.

Natsu used the same method of convincing his friends like he had the first time: admitting that he'd made mistakes which had led to Gray's death the first two times. Gray's reaction to being told that he was going to die in the evening resembled the previous ones: He didn't want to believe it at first, and when Natsu finally convinced him, he stared into space, his expression changing several times from desperation to terror to sadness.

Maybe Natsu should have given him time to stomach the information that his love was requited before giving him the bad news. Maybe he was asking too much of Gray. But then again, Gray was strong—he'd said so himself. And this would help him understand why Natsu acted this way, why he'd confessed so suddenly. Plus, if Natsu wanted to ask for advice on the prophecy, he would have to tell his friends _everything_ , and Gray's death was undoubtedly the most important part of it all.

He’d decided that his guild mates needed to know the whole story before he read the prophecy out to them. That way they would fully understand what was going on, and actually be able to help him, as opposed to just dumping the prophecy on them without any explanation.

When Natsu was still in the middle of telling them the link between Ultear, Jellal, the oracle of the magic council and their current situation, the door flew open and revealed Juvia, Laxus, Freed, Bixlow, and Evergreen.

"GRAY-SAMAAA!!"

But before Juvia could get anywhere near Gray, Erza grabbed her collar, shook her head, and then nodded towards Gray, who was still sitting on the bench stiffly. He looked as if he hadn't even noticed their arrival. Juvia looked up at Erza, confusion written all over her face, but Erza just shook her head again and motioned her to sit down next to her. Juvia complied reluctantly.

Natsu gave the five of them a rough summary before continuing, just barely holding back a scowl in Juvia's direction. Whenever he wasn't checking on Juvia and her reactions, he looked at Gray, whose attention seemed to slowly come back to the present.

When he told the others that Gray was going to die, Juvia shrieked, about to throw herself at Gray, tears already in her eyes. But Gray chose exactly that moment to finally move something other than his facial muscles; he got to his feet, emanating an aura that obviously intimidated Juvia, seeing as she stopped halfway. And it wasn't just her—it was like the whole guild was holding their breath, waiting for Gray's next action. He slowly walked over to where Natsu was standing on the bar. Natsu belatedly realized that he, too, had stopped breathing, and sucked in a deep breath. Gray's eyes were hidden behind his long bangs, so Natsu wasn't sure if he should expect being punched, being yelled at, or something else entirely.

Gray hopped onto the bar next to Natsu, and Natsu flinched, raising his fists, expecting to be hit the next second. But when Gray's gaze met his, Natsu dropped them immediately. Gray's eyes were soft, telling Natsu that if anything, he should prepare to be kissed. And indeed, Gray wrapped his fingers around Natsu's chin a second later, tilting his head upwards, and then leaned down to press his lips against Natsu's.

Everything that wasn't Gray's lips on his or Gray's hands on his body faded from his consciousness. He'd closed his eyes when he'd seen Gray closing his, shortly before their lips met, so everything he could do was _feel_ , and _god_ did that feel _intense_. He wondered if their kisses would ever cease to take his breath away or make his knees go weak.

When Gray brought his arms around Natsu's back, Natsu leaned in gratefully. He wasn't sure his knees would have supported his weight any longer otherwise.

Even though Natsu was oblivious to everything that was happening around them, he was aware that they were doing this in front everyone. The realization hit him just then that Gray wasn't the least bit ashamed of this, of _Natsu_ and being in love with him. Natsu hadn't given it a real thought before, but Gray seemed to be _proud_ of being with him. He probably also wanted to publicly stake a claim on Natsu, just like Natsu did.

His knees gave out, and he slumped against Gray, the motion breaking their kiss. Gray reacted quickly by tightening his grip around Natsu's body until he was supporting both of their weights.

Being held like this in Gray's strong arms, almost protectively, felt wonderful. Like Gray was telling him 'it's okay to be weak, I'll always be here to catch you'. It made Natsu's heart race even more.

The awareness of what was happening around them slowly came back to Natsu. Juvia was halfway to the bar, frozen in mid-action, staring at them with eyes as wide and shocked as Natsu had never seen them be before. Laxus and Freed stared at them wide-eyed, a blush on their faces. Evergreen and Bixlow smiled broadly, showing them a thumbs-up with one hand and high fiving with the other. Evergreen then looked over to Laxus and Freed, nudging Laxus in the side. Laxus blushed even more, and shoved her. Gajeel, who had been asleep when Natsu confessed to Gray, had a teasing grin on his face. Reedus was painting—again. Makarov's chin was on the floor, and he made a constant 'ah' sound. The rest looked flustered, but happy.

When Natsu looked up at Gray, he noticed that Gray's attention was fixed on Juvia, swallowing. Gray didn't loosen his grip on Natsu even a fraction when he talked.

"I'm sorry, Juvia. My heart belongs to Natsu, and has for a long time already. I tried to tell you to give up, but you never wanted to listen..."

Juvia stared at Gray in disbelief for a few moments, then opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat.

"Th-that's a clever plan, b-but don't you think that goes a bit too far? Kissing your rival in front of the whole guild just to make me give up on you?"

Natsu's knees weren't wobbly anymore, so he wanted to straighten himself, give Gray freedom to move, but Gray tightened his grip on Natsu to keep him right there in his arms.

"It's not a plan, Juvia. It's the truth. I'm in love with Natsu."

Hearing these words sent a shiver down Natsu's spine. Gray didn't know how far they'd gotten the previous times since he hadn't included that part in his explanations. He could probably guess, but for all Gray knew, this could be the very first time he confessed.

"N-no, I refuse to believe this!"

Lucy walked over to Juvia and put her hand on Juvia's shoulder. "Whether you believe it or not, that won't change the fact that they're together now, and that you should stop molesting Gray."

"But they're _rivals!"_

Gray let out a sigh. "Yes, we are. We're rivals, friends, and now also—" he looked down at Natsu questioningly, and Natsu gave him a small nod and a reassuring smile— "a couple."

"B-but Gray-sama—"

 _"ENOUGH!"_ Makarov roared, then slammed a giant fist into the floor right before Juvia. "I want my children to be happy, and even _I_ noticed what's been going on between Natsu and Gray lately. Let them be happy, now that they finally found love. They're suffering enough as it is. Step back."

Natsu couldn't see Juvia since their master's fist was blocking his view, but after a moment he heard Juvia sob and storm out of the guild hall. Well, that was another way of dealing with her. He wouldn't have expected Makarov to take a side for them. He still felt bad for Juvia, but there was just no nice way of breaking somebody's heart.

Makarov's fist shrunk to normal size again. "If the situation wasn't that sad, I'd invite you all to drink to the happiness of two of our family members... but like this, all I want to say is 'congratulations' and 'I'm happy for you', and now let's hear the rest of your story and tell us how we can help."

Natsu nodded thankfully. He straightened himself and this time Gray let him, but he stayed standing next to Natsu throughout the whole explanation. Somewhere in the middle, Gray picked up the diary and inspected it curiously.

When Natsu finally got to the part where he wanted to read out the text of the prophecy, Gray handed it over to him. Natsu pulled the key from under his scarf, opened the lock and read out the text while covering the rest of the entries with his hand as best as he could.

"When winter fades,  
And past rewinds,  
But future can't be swayed,  
Summer must form a bond,  
With the hateful yet loved rival.

Giving up a part of itself,  
Igniting a burned out fire,  
Fire can light up Darkness,  
And prevent the world from falling apart."

The whole guild was silent for a few heartbeats, and then many people started talking at once. It was impossible to listen to everyone, so Makarov slammed his fist on the floor once more to silence them and remind them that they were searching for a solution _together_. He then took the freedom to offer his opinion first.

"I think what the first part means is clear. About the last bit... When I hear 'darkness' along with the threat that the world might fall apart... The one who comes to my mind first is Zeref." 

There were gasps and shrieks, and Natsu just gaped at their master in disbelief. He noted that Gray's fists were clenched and shaking.

 _"Zeref,"_ Gray spat out. His face was scary, almost as if Zeref was standing right in front of him.

Natsu interjected, "But... how? Nobody has seen him in _centuries_ , I thought he's dead?"

Makarov shook his head, a solemn expression on his face. "When Precht passed on the title of the Guild Master to me, he once accidentally mentioned Zeref in a way that sounded like he knew that Zeref was still alive. When I asked him about it, he looked shocked and told me to forget what he said. Chances are that he's indeed alive and hiding somewhere."

Ignoring the gasps from his guild mates, Natsu quickly shut the book and put it back down on the bar, not bothering to lock it. Then he put his hand on Gray's shoulder, making him flinch.

"Gray. Please, relax. It's just a theory and even if it's true, Zeref isn't here."

Gray turned towards Natsu, his expression grim. "How do you know he's not hiding somewhere close? Jellal has been following for two days without you noticing, don't you think you may have overlooked another follower? Maybe he's causing my death, finishing what his demons started."

Natsu flinched at the viciousness in Gray's voice, but he had to admit that it would indeed be a logical explanation. However, Natsu was sure that Zeref wasn't following them—he'd been very attentive of his surroundings most of the time since Day Three.

"He's not around. I've been paying close attention since the third time. There's nobody besides Jellal following us or I would've noticed. If he's close, then he's hiding somewhere I haven't gone before."

Gray didn't look convinced.

Lucy rose to her feet, and said, "But then what's with the 'Fire can light up Darkness'? That would mean that Natsu must show Zeref light to save Gray and 'prevent the world from falling apart'? Meaning Natsu has to _persuade_ Zeref not to kill Gray somehow? Or could it mean... Natsu must set Zeref on fire...?"

Gray stamped on the bar, so hard Natsu feared the wood might break if he did it again. " _Persuade Zeref_? Don't make me laugh! The last thing you said makes much more sense. Let's search and defeat him." He looked right at Natsu, fiery resolve in his eyes.

"Err..." Natsu trailed off, not knowing what to answer. Gray was driven by revenge, which Natsu could understand, but it wasn't at all helpful at the moment. "That's just a theory. Nothing's proven yet. Does anyone have another idea? And let's also not forget about the other lines. They still don't make sense to me."

Gray glared at Natsu, but when Natsu shot him a pleading look, he clenched his teeth and nodded reluctantly.

It turned out that nobody had another idea of what 'Darkness' could mean, and they all thought it made sense that it referred to Zeref. Most were convinced that the text implied a peaceful approach towards Zeref, which enraged Gray. It took great effort to keep him from running berserk, but when they'd finally managed to calm him down, Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's torso, meaning to soothe him. Gray tensed up at first, but then he seemed to make up his mind. He sighed and brought his arms around Natsu.

The rest of the discussion was rather unhelpful. They didn't know what to make of the 'burned out fire', since Natsu wasn't the one who was dying. When they talked about the possibility that it was referring to Gray's death, and that Natsu would have to revive him, nobody could come up with a viable solution, since not even Porlyusica was able to revive him.

Nobody had the slightest idea what 'giving up a part of himself' could mean, except that Natsu would have to sacrifice _something_.

At the end of the discussion, they agreed only on one thing: Natsu would have to find Zeref. And if Gray was with him, then Natsu would have to make him promise not to attack before they even tried to talk to Zeref. Gray shot everyone who agreed an angry glare, saying that there was no way he'd hold back against the mage who killed his family. They somehow managed to convince him that it was important to at least _try_. Upon being asked what could make Gray hesitate to attack Zeref, he said that Natsu should make him believe that either Gray or Natsu would die if they did something rash. Probably the threat of endangering Natsu's life would work better, he admitted with a grumble.

They also talked about priorities: First, search for Zeref, or check if the mission went well if they sent Gajeel instead of Natsu and Gray. Natsu favored the opinion that they should first ensure the success of the mission, also because he couldn't lie to Gray about the consequences of a reckless attack on Zeref, and Gray seemed reluctant to refrain from attacking Zeref. Everyone agreed, and Gray kept silent, so the decision came naturally: They'd go on the mission again, with Natsu and Gray hiding out of sight.

Natsu also addressed the topic that, if their enemies hadn't lied, the fact that Bubble's father had gone missing was the reason why they needed money. He had to admit that he was in a blind rage the second time he went on that mission, that he hadn't even thought about the possibility of resolving the situation in another way. Lucy suggested they try to offer their help instead of accepting the enemy's conditions. The thought of helping the one who'd taken Gray's life twice was repulsive to Natsu, but the others talked insistently to him until he saw that they had a point. They'd still take Gajeel in case that plan failed.

When everything was finally settled, Natsu's head was spinning, tired of all the talking. Who could endure such a situation on a regular basis? Just talking and talking, never taking action. He'd never become a member of the magic council, that was for sure.

He just wanted to retreat into a silent corner, relax a bit, maybe make out with Gray, _anything_ , just not _talking_. He had no such luck. As soon as the discussion was over, Laxus, who had moved to the entrance, waved Natsu to come over. Wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, Natsu sighed and followed the request.

Laxus lead them a bit away from the guild, then stopped in an abandoned street, turning towards Natsu.

"Jellal didn't follow us, right?"

"No. He's only observing Gray."

"Okay then." Laxus gulped, and Natsu noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. What was he on about? "You said this is the sixth time?"

Natsu nodded, staring at Laxus expectantly.

"I was wondering... Evergreen and Bixlow are trying to get me to make a move on Freed, now that the two of you finally got your shit together. The thing is... If time will be turned back anyway, then I think I could find the courage to actually do it. Because even if he rejects me, I'll forget it in some hours."

Natsu raised his eyebrow. "I don't think he'll reject you, but yes, you'd probably forget it."

"I want to ask a favor of you. If I make a move on Freed now, and he reciprocates my feelings, then would you kick my ass until I make a move on him again after the whole situation is resolved and time doesn't turn back anymore?"

Natsu nearly said, 'there's no _if_ , Freed obviously likes you too,' but that would be unfair and also hypocritical, seeing as he himself hadn't noticed Gray's _obvious_ attraction either. So instead, he gave Laxus an encouraging nod, and said, "Sure thing. Good luck."

Laxus' blush intensified, and Natsu could tell that he was getting more nervous with each step they took towards the guild. By the time they reached the entrance, Laxus was trembling and sweating, and his heart raced wildly. Before they entered, Natsu gave him a reassuring smack on the back, which made Laxus lose his balance and sent him crashing headfirst into the wooden door.

"Um... are you okay?" Natsu asked carefully.

The hasty apology and assertion that he was indeed alright didn't look very convincing to Natsu, but he didn't comment. When they entered the guild hall, Laxus wobbled straight to Freed, and Natsu couldn't help but shoot worried and curious looks over his shoulder when he walked towards Gray, who was sitting alone at the usual table, deep in thought. He jumped when Natsu flopped down beside him.

"Dammit, flame-brain! At least say something!"

" _You_ be more attentive of your surroundings, stupid stripper!"

Gray glared at him, but when Natsu slumped against his side and rested his head against Gray's shoulder, the ice mage blushed. Letting out a content hum, Natsu closed his eyes and focused his attention on Laxus and Freed's conversation on the other end of the guild.

"—strange, so just spit it out."

"I-it's nothing."

"Then why are you acting like you're about to freak out?"

"Th-that's because..." Laxus took a deep breath. "Because... I... uh..."

"Come on, tell me. You're scaring me..."

"P-promise you won't get mad."

"Of course I won't, dummy. I doubt there's anything you could say to make me mad."

"Not even if I..." He trailed off.

"If you what?"

Natsu heard rustling of clothes, and then a shocked gasp from Freed. Natsu's eyes opened on their own volition, and his head turned towards the pair. Laxus was kissing Freed while the rune mage was staring at him wide-eyed. Laxus broke the kiss before Freed had the chance to react or reciprocate.

"I... I love you, Freed."

Freed just stared at Laxus, flabbergasted.

Gray shifted behind Natsu, swinging one leg on the other side of the bench, and pulled Natsu backwards until his ass was pressed against Gray's inner thighs and—Natsu gulped—his crotch. To make it more comfortable, Natsu also put one leg on the other side and leaned backwards until his back was flush to Gray's front.

"Are these two finally making progress?"

"Yes. Laxus just kissed him and confessed."

_"For real??"_

" _Yes_ and now shut up, I wanna hear his answer."

Gray complied with a grumble, and just in that moment Freed opened his mouth to answer.

"Please do that again."

"Wha—"

But Freed interrupted him by yanking Laxus in by the shirt, slotting their mouths together.

"Fair answer," Gray commented, and pressed a soft kiss to Natsu's cheek. Natsu craned his neck so that he could look Gray in the eyes, his heart speeding up. They didn't hesitate to lean in for a real kiss.

The position was awkward and not comfortable at all, but Natsu endured it for as long as he could. When he broke their kiss to relax his neck, he found Lucy standing next to the bench, the diary in her hands, looking flustered.

"Um... here. You forgot this."

With a start, Natsu remembered that he hadn't bothered locking the diary before he left the guild hall, and indeed, the lock was dangling from the diary, open. He snatched it away from Lucy's hands.

"You didn't read it, right?"

Lucy tensed up, looking guilty, and that was all the answer Natsu needed. He narrowed his eyes. Lucy took a defensive pose, waving her arms before her body, asking for forgiveness.

"S-sorry! We thought that it's okay, since you didn't lock it..."

_"We?"_

Lucy's eyes widened in horror, and she bit her lip.

"W-well... uh... Wendy _didn't_ read it!"

_'Oh god... does that mean everyone else read it?!'_

When he thought of all that was written in there, Natsu's cheeks heated up.

Lucy dropped to her knees, a pleading expression on her face.

"We're sorry! We really thought it was okay to read it, since you just left it there and we'll forget anyway..."

Well, she had a point there. He'd only have to endure the shame for the rest of the day, and then everyone would forget. Natsu let out a sigh.

"It's not like I can change it anymore."

Lucy's eyes lit up momentarily. She quickly rose to her feet, bowed, and then scurried off towards the bar, where most of the girls were gathered. They were giggling, but when they saw Lucy's face, their smile fell. They looked nervously over to Natsu, but Natsu just rolled his eyes, then closed them, and let his body slump back against Gray's again.

"Hey, Gray?"

"Mhh?"

"Why didn't you take the diary?"

Gray tensed up. "I was distressed. I didn't notice. I still _am_ distressed... a little."

A pang of guilt surged through Natsu's body. He reached behind for Gray's hands, pulled them so that they were resting on Natsu's stomach, and entwined their fingers.

"I'm sorry. That was quite a mouthful for you..."

"It's okay. You needed to make good use of the little time you had."

Gray tightened his grip, pulling Natsu even closer. "Besides... Having you so close is relieving the distress. I'm okay now... well, as okay as I can be, considering the circumstances."

Natsu didn't know what to answer, so he just squeezed Gray's hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Since it concerns the plot, here's an excerpt of a review from ff.net + my answer:_
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>  _"Now for some things that confused me or I do not agree with (I hope you do not get too upset)"_ \- I don't get upset over such things, don't worry ^^ Quite the opposite, because no matter how much I try to fix plotholes, there's always something I forget about, so I need my readers to tell me.
> 
>  _"1. You said this happened before Tenrou, and that Tenrou would not happen. But, Ultear and Jellal teamed up after that arc to like atone for their crimes. Before Tenrou happened, Ultear still hated her mother and was Zeref obsessed and unrepentant. And if this implies that Ultear and Jellal were still on the council, then they should not have much reason to help Fairy Tail out, right?"_ \- I completely twisted canon, tore it apart, re-arranged some things, changed many many things. You're right, they wouldn't have a reason to help them if you just removed the Tenrou Arc. I haven't thought about that to be honest! So, let's imagine that something else happened instead. e.g. Grimoire Heart needed to find something else first to find out Zeref's location. Fairy Tail somehow noticed, found them, and the fight took place somewhere else. Zeref was never found, Grimoire Heart shattered, Ultear found out the truth, stopped obsessing over Zeref, and Crime Sorciére formed. Something like that.
> 
>  _"2. I am assuming Zeref has a big role in the prophecy, but just the idea of 'DarknessZeref' seemed like a bit of a stetch. I guess there is nothing too worng with how this theory turned out; it just seemed a little choppy to me. But I cannot complain too much, since I can imagine that such a transition from a vague prophecy to a bigger plot would be difficult to make smooth."_ \- Oh. Yeah. That may come across like that. I edited what Makarov said: "About the last bit... When I hear 'darkness' along with the threat that the world might fall apart... The one who comes to my mind first is Zeref." I think it might sound more logical now...? ^^
> 
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> 
> I checked the stats of this story yesterday, and I noticed something: The very first chapter got 10 comment threads, the chapter where I linked a [tumblr post](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/post/153564024163/appeal-to-readers) in which I explicitly asked for comments and ranted about how it's the only validation a writer gets, got 11 comment threads, and _all the other ones_ got _exactly 5_. Just leaving this here~
> 
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> _Please comment. The only thing that could possibly happen if you comment is this: you could make me happy._
> 
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> **Heads-up! I'm not sure yet when I can post the next chapter, since I'm at my mother's for Christmas. It might come a day late.**
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> Also, it's been a year since I first started writing fics in English! I've come so far, wow! Thanks to everyone for your support :))
> 
> Thanks for reading! I wish you all a merry Christmas ^_^


	9. Day 6 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please go read the end notes of the last chapter. I made a (minor) change. It was just a mistake of mine somebody on ffn pointed out (thank you!)
> 
> Early update since I'm not at home for Christmas. Consider it an early Christmas present ^^ The next update will probably be regular (January 1st).
> 
> Smut ahead~

The morning went by without another incident. Laxus and Freed made out sloppily in the guild hall until their groping became too much, and they were kicked out by a furious Mirajane with the 'request' to get a room. Natsu and Gray cuddled and made out in the guild hall, Gajeel poked fun at them, and Happy cheered them on, already making plans on Gray moving in. Gray asked if he could read the diary, and Natsu let him, watching in awe as Gray's face turned redder and redder by the minute. When he was finished, he slammed the book close and demanded that Natsu lock it immediately, saying that he couldn't believe that Natsu left the diary unlocked and unattended.

After lunch, they went to the train station, Gajeel in tow. Wendy cast Troia on the three Dragon Slayers, warning them in advance that it wouldn't last the whole ride.

This time Natsu and Gray spent the whole ride cuddled up against each other, exchanging chaste kisses, stroking lazily over any part of the body they could reach, except for the R-rated ones—at least until Natsu's motion sickness kicked in. After that, it was a fight to keep down the bile, with the friendly assistance of Gray's soothing pats.

Natsu had paid close attention to where Jellal was hiding on the train. He'd waited until Team Natsu had boarded the train, then gotten on it a wagon behind them. He peeked through the window in the compartment door on a regular basis to make sure that Gray was still alive and well. To think that Natsu had stormed to the toilet right next to that door once... But then again, he'd been motion sick. He probably wouldn't have noticed Jellal even if he'd been naked and dancing right in front of him.

When they'd reached their destination, Natsu asked his friends to give him, Gajeel and Wendy a few minutes to recover, and then led the way to the dugout. They parted ways at the entrance, with Gray and Natsu hiding in a narrow alley nearby. Happy didn't hesitate to follow the others, but not without winking at Natsu.

Jellal really sucked at masking his presence. He'd been caught by surprise by Gray's and Natsu's sudden change of direction, and he just barely managed to sneak around the corner before the two of them entered the alley he'd been hiding in. Natsu didn't bother to call for Jellal and tell him that they knew, because what good would it do? Besides, being in an abandoned alley with Gray with nothing to do but waiting for their friends to emerge from the building... There was a thing or two that came to Natsu's mind on how they could make good use of that time.

Gray seemed to have the exact same thought, seeing as Natsu found himself pressed against the nearest wall the next second. He cushioned the impact with his hands, seeing as he was still wearing the rucksack with the diary inside and he didn't want it to get damaged. He pushed Gray gently away, put the rucksack down and then let Gray cage him against the wall for real. Natsu tilted his head upwards, lips already parted halfway, accepting the kiss and returning it with fierce passion. Gray's hands were on Natsu's ass, groping and pulling him as close against Gray's hips as possible, while Natsu's hands hungrily roved over Gray's bicep and back, stopping just over Gray's waistband. Natsu wanted to ask if it was okay to slip his hand into Gray's boxers, but he also didn't want to remove his lips from Gray's. However, when Gray moaned into the kiss and rubbed his already hard crotch against Natsu's, he buried his doubts and went for it. It was a bit of a struggle to remove Gray's belt, with their bodies pressed so close, but Gray wiggled his hips until the belt and fly were open.

The feel of Gray's bare ass against his palm was strange, but not in a bad sense. It was new and incredibly arousing. A wave of heat surged through Natsu's body, stronger than ever. He was achingly hard. Natsu groped Gray's ass tightly, and as a reaction, Gray broke the kiss, let out a low moan, buried his face in the scarf, and ground his hips desperately against Natsu's.

There was a nagging voice in Natsu's head, reminding him that they were in _public_ and couldn't do this here. Besides, they needed to be prepared to jump into action at any moment, and if they continued this, they might not be able to react quickly or even notice that they should be reacting to something. But this time they were nowhere near Natsu's house or Gray's flat. They _could_ just break into any flat, but then the risk that they missed their cue was even higher.

His train of thought was interrupted when Gray whispered right into his ear, "I want you so badly, Natsu."

A shiver ran down Natsu's spine, and his mind fogged with lust, all doubts forgotten. _"Yes, please!"_

Natsu pulled his hand out of Gray's pants, and pushed their hips apart so that he could fumble at Gray's belt and the fly of his jeans. Gray wanted to open Natsu's belt as well, but Natsu grabbed his wrists to stop him. His intention was to just remove Gray's jeans, and then rub their clothed lengths against each other's. The material of Natsu's pants was thin after all. Plus, nobody would find it strange that Gray was partially undressed, in case they needed to jump into action suddenly.

Gray seemed to understand, and assisted Natsu in taking his jeans off, kicking them aside carelessly. He crowded Natsu against the wall again, and ground their hips together, making them both moan. Natsu encouraged him by groping his ass with both hands, pressing firmly.

The next moments were a clumsy mess of fumbling, kissing, and biting while simultaneously trying to establish a steady rhythm of their hips rocking against each other's. Natsu moved his hips as well in an attempt to make it work out, but he ended up making it even more complicated.

"S-stop moving, idiot— _ah_ —l-let me... do it."

It was hard to refrain from moving, but the effort payed off when Gray's clothed erection was sliding rhythmically against his.

Natsu tried holding back a moan, but it came out anyway, strangled. Gray groaned in response, increasing his pace. Then he leaned forward until his lips touched Natsu's earlobe just slightly.

"You're s-so... hard— _ahh!_ F-fuck, Natsu, _so good,_ I d-don't think I'll last— _oh god_ —m-much longer..."

Gray's words and his moans so close to Natsu ear sent jolts of pleasure right to his groin, and it was more than Natsu could handle. His mind blanked out for a second as his head dropped back against the wall. When his senses came back, he noticed just how close he was.

"Stop! G-Gray, ahhhh, stop, _stop!"_

Gray let out a frustrated growl, but he did stop his movements. Just in time. If he'd moved a bit more, it would've been too late, and Natsu didn't want to stain his pants.

"N-Natsu, what...? I... I'm nearly there... why?"

"Me too... That's why. It'll soak my pants..."

"So? Everyone will forget, right? But if you really don't want them to be soaked... I could help." And with that, Gray's deft hands wandered to Natsu's belt, opened it in no time at all, and pulled at Natsu's waistband questioningly.

"Wh-what...?"

In a seductively low voice, Gray asked close to his ear, "How do you feel about soaking the inside of my mouth?"

It was all Natsu could do not to come right then. The mental image of Gray's mouth on his cock... Natsu's cheeks heated up, and as an answer he stuttered some incoherent syllables.

"Is that a _yes_? Can I give you a _blowjob?"_

Gray's hot breath tickled Natsu's ear, and then his tongue licked a stripe from his earlobe upwards, making Natsu shiver.

"You'll need to give me an answer, flame brain."

"Sh-shut u-up... J-just do it a-ahh-already..."

Gray made sure to rub his hands over Natsu's erection before freeing it from all its confines, letting the material pool around Natsu's ankles. He kneeled down, taking in the sight of Natsu's cock for a few heartbeats. Natsu buried his face in his palms.

"St-stop staring... It's embarrassing..."

"But it's beautiful. _You're_ beautiful. So wet already."

A moment later, Natsu felt Gray's tongue lick off all the pre-cum from his tip, the sensation making him shiver.

"Mhh. Tasty."

Natsu wanted to tell Gray to shut up, but his breath hitched before he could get a word out—Gray had wrapped his lips around Natsu's tip and sucked with abandon. Natsu needed something to hold on to, so he tangled his hands into Gray's hair, neither pushing nor pulling. When Gray began bobbing his head up and down, jolts of pleasure shot through Natsu's body, turning him into a moaning and squirming mess.

It would be over far too soon for Natsu's liking if he didn't find _something_ that would lessen or distract him from the intense pleasure of Gray's hot mouth, especially when his teeth stroked over the underside of Natsu's cock just slightly. He bit his hand until the skin broke to keep himself from making sounds, but the pain didn't do anything to lessen the sensation. He was so close, _so close_ , and when Gray's hands came up to play with Natsu's balls, it was too late. All he could do to warn Gray was a broken "N-now!" before his balls tightened and waves of pleasure rocked his body. Gray hummed in approval as the first spurt of cum filled his mouth, caressing Natsu's stomach and ass encouragingly while Natsu shuddered through his orgasm.

Slowly coming back to his senses, Natsu noticed that Gray swallowed twice around his shaft before drawing back and getting to his feet. Natsu couldn't take his eyes off Gray's lips, mesmerized by the tongue sensually licking over it.

"Damn, that was hot. I nearly came untouched, just from sucking you off."

Gray's face was so close to Natsu's that he felt every exhale on his skin. Natsu could very clearly smell his release from Gray's mouth, and suddenly the realization of what they'd just done hit him full force. It was the first time Gray had seen his crotch naked in a sexual context, and he'd taken it in his mouth and even _swallowed_ Natsu's cum. It was much more than Natsu had wanted to do initially, but he'd enjoyed every second of it—it hadn't been as awkward as he'd imagined it to be. Maybe he was just obsessing about his nervousness, maybe having sex with Gray would come naturally, maybe it wouldn't be as embarrassing as he thought... Maybe he was ready for more.

His train of thought was interrupted when Gray slotted their mouths together in a wet kiss. Natsu decided that he didn't like his own flavor; it was too bitter. How Gray had forced that down his throat, he didn't know.

A whimper broke free from Gray's mouth when Natsu nibbled his bottom lip with sharp canines. That was when Natsu was reminded of the fact that Gray still hadn't come.

He broke their kiss, pushed Gray away by the shoulders, and reversed their position in a swift move. A surprised sound broke free from Gray's throat as his back was slammed against the wall. Natsu quickly fixed his pants, and then dropped to his knees.

"Y-you don't have to do this. I don't have to come at all, or I could just do it by mys—"

"I want to," Natsu interrupted him with a confidence he wasn't feeling. Being level with Gray's crotch made his stomach do a nervous flip, but he still wanted to go along with it. Gray was a virgin, and yet he'd been so good at it. Had he practiced on some... other items? As for Natsu, he had practiced giving blowjobs on his dildo... Well, the toy couldn't give feedback, but at least he knew the basics, like 'don't take it too deep or you'll retch'.

He took a deep breath, and then leaned forward to press his nose against the bulge in Gray's boxers. The scent that filled his nose combined with Gray's repressed moan calmed his nerves somewhat. As long as he kept teeth out of the equation, there was nothing that could go wrong, he knew that much. Although he'd liked it very much when Gray had lightly scraped his teeth over his cock, so maybe he'd try that, too. However, he'd have to be extra careful because his canines were much sharper.

As a start, Natsu rubbed his nose up and down Gray's clothed erection, reveling in the restrained whimpers this earned him. Looking up, he noticed that Gray's eyes were fixed on him curiously, catching every of Natsu's motions. Holding his gaze, Natsu licked seductively over the tip where Gray's boxers were already drenched with pre-cum. To Natsu's surprise, it tasted rather sweet.

"Hn... ahh, _Natsu!_ I... I'm already... c-close..."

Natsu didn't want this to end prematurely, so he pulled back. Now that he'd gotten a sample of Gray's flavor, he wanted to taste it without barriers, wanted to know how Gray's cock in his mouth would feel like.

Gray let out a frustrated whine at the loss of contact, but he didn't have to wait long until Natsu slipped a finger inside his waistband.

"N-Natsu. Your hand!"

Natsu stopped his movements, not knowing what Gray wanted from him.

"It's bleeding, you idiot!"

 _Oh,_ it really was. Quite heavily, in fact. Gray's boxers were already partially soaked in blood. Maybe he'd bitten a bit too hard.

Before Natsu could do something about it, Gray grabbed his wrist, brought the bleeding hand to eye level, and froze all the spilled blood at once. Natsu let out a surprised shriek, wanting to pull his hand away instinctively, but Gray's grip was too strong.

"Hold still, idiot."

Gray gently scrubbed off the frozen blood. When the wounds were free again, the blood flow was already much slower. He licked off the newly formed drops while encompassing Natsu's wrist with a cold hand to make the blood flow even slower.

Natsu didn't complain, just stared at Gray's concerned face in awe the whole time.

"Here. Don't bite yourself like that again." Gray blushed, averted his eyes, and then added in a lower voice, "I want to hear the sounds you make, so don't hide them anymore."

Dumbfounded, Natsu let his slightly numb hand drop to his side. He should probably say 'thanks' or just _anything_ , but his throat felt constricted, his chest overflowing with love and admiration. How had he gotten so lucky to get himself such a caring boyfriend?

A caring boyfriend whose erection was twitching right in front of Natsu's face. He'd do his best to make this as enjoyable as possible.

He was quick to strip Gray, using the uninjured hand and his teeth. The sight of Gray's aroused cock was a sight to behold, so he spent several seconds just worshipping the view. Sure, he'd seen it many times before due to Gray's stripping habit—not that he'd gawked at it whenever that had happened, _not at all_ —, but seeing it like _this_ was a first.

"Now _you're_ staring."

"Mhh. And you like it."

Gray pouted, but the look quickly vanished when Natsu leaned forward to lick a stripe over his length, from base to tip. The taste was strange, manly, and a bit salty from sweat. Natsu liked it, also because this was _Gray's flavor_. His tongue darted out, licking over the tip, cleaning off all the pre-cum until it was coated only with Natsu's saliva.

Fueled by Gray's moans, Natsu wrapped his lips around the head of Gray's cock, basking in the new feeling of having Gray's most intimate body part in his mouth, knowing that _he_ was causing all the sexy sounds that left Gray's throat.

"Nahhh—tsu! S-so hot..."

Whether Gray was talking about the temperature of Natsu's mouth or the sight of his cock buried in it, Natsu didn't know. Probably both. Either way, it was obvious that Gray enjoyed this. Now the only thing Natsu needed to do was keep his teeth away from the flesh in between them, move his head up and down—

"Aaahhhh, oh _g-god..._ "

—swirl his tongue around the tip on the upstroke—

"Gaah, _fuck!"_

—and hollow his cheeks to increase the suction.

"That's— _ah, ahh!_ —so _good..._ I'm already... c-close..."

Natsu heard a door swing open, and then Lucy's shriek, followed by the sound of the door slamming close again. They probably should've gone a bit deeper into the alley before doing something like this, but Natsu was too far gone to really care about it. He heard Lucy stammer something about 'please wait a minute', and that was his cue to speed up.

Gray squirmed, moaned loudly, and cursed without restraint as Natsu bobbed his head quickly up and down while fondling Gray's balls.

"I... I'm... c-coming—ahhh, _Natsu!"_

Gray's balls tightened, the tip of his cock became impossibly hard, and then a hot jet of cum shot against Natsu's tongue, the back of his throat, his teeth. He welcomed it all too happily, swallowing every last drop despite the bitter flavor.

So this was it—Natsu's first blowjob. Why had he stressed himself out so much over it in advance? He enjoyed it, both being on the giving and the receiving end.

He pulled back, releasing Gray's softening cock with a lewd _plop_ before pulling Gray's boxers back up and fumbling for Gray's discarded clothes.

When the door to the dugout opened again, they were both on their feet, fully dressed, hugging and kissing. With a noisy clear of her throat Lucy made Natsu and Gray break the kiss. Then she stepped onto the street, revealing their friends and the three enemies.

Pointing at Gray and Natsu, Lucy explained, "The two guys over there belong to us. They came along to back us up." Facing Natsu and Gray, she added a bit louder, "We'll help these three mages search for the father of this brunette guy."

Had Natsu heard right? A glimpse to his watch told him that they hadn't taken more than twenty minutes.

_'How...?'_

It didn't look like Lucy had been threatened to say this—in fact most of them looked very relaxed, with Ichika clinging to Erza, and Yushin smiling faintly—yes, _smiling_ —at Bubbles. Happy, Lucy, and Wendy wore content expressions. Erza looked rather flustered and appeared to be seeking help in dealing with Ichika. The only ones whose behavior seemed to be hostile were Gajeel, Pantherlily, and Bubbles, who had a staring fight, two against one. Carla stared into space, not giving any indication of her feelings.

Unsure of how to react, Natsu neither answered nor moved. It was Gray who picked up the rucksack and pulled Natsu towards the others and did the talking. The townsmen filing out of the narrow door were proof that their enemies really meant it when they said they'd cooperate unconditionally. The last one to emerge from the building was the mayor. He thanked the members of Fairy Tail on behalf of the whole town, asked them to follow him to the town hall, and paid them. He made it clear that the three dark mages weren't welcome and asked them a last favor—a paid one, of course—to remove their oppressors from the town.

Since Natsu and his friends knew that they wouldn't have to search for a place to spend the night, they led Ichika, Bubbles, and Yushin out of town and into the forest, where they sat down on a clearing to talk and make plans.

It turned out that the oracle of the magic council had paid their enemies a visit as well. Yushin explained in a bored tone that her prophecy had been the reason why they'd done such a 'ridiculous thing' as take a whole town hostage in the first place. The prophecy had predicted 'a heavily pierced man with a talking black cat coming to their rescue'. At least that explained why their friends hadn't needed much time, now that Gajeel was with them.

Natsu couldn't help but get angry at the oracle, since he was convinced that she was the reason for this disaster. Ichika was curious and asked what exactly the 'disaster' was. Since Natsu declined an explanation, Lucy intervened and gave the three of them a summary of what had happened so far.

When Bubbles heard that he'd killed Gray twice, he flinched, looking like a beaten dog. Yushin demanded he apologize, but Bubbles shot back that he wouldn't do such a thing as kill people, and that he wouldn't apologize for something he hadn't done. Naturally Natsu got angry, and they nearly ended up fighting. However, before Natsu's fist could hit Bubbles' stomach, Gray created an ice barrier between the two of them, and slung his arms around Natsu's middle, begging him to stop. Yushin did the same thing with Bubbles, and it took a lot of persuasion to get the two to calm down.

They still glared at each other throughout the whole conversation, restrained by their respective friends. At one point, Gray decided to press butterfly kisses along the side of Natsu's neck, which flustered Natsu.

The action prompted Yushin to try the same on Bubbles, with a positive outcome: Bubbles blushed furiously, tried and failed to headbutt Yushin since he didn't have enough free space to move, and finally went for wild cursing. When he didn't shut up even though Yushin told him to watch his language, Yushin took radical measure; he leaned over Bubbles' shoulder and sealed his lips with a kiss. Bubbles pulled back almost immediately, looking flustered and ready to complain, but Yushin was quicker.

"I'd happily do this all day long, and I _will_ if you dare utter another curse."

"Wh—y-you can't be serious, you stupid—"

Yushin silenced him with a pointer finger, already leaning in again. "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

When their lips met again, Bubbles didn't fight it anymore. After a few seconds, he kissed back, and that was the moment when Ichika broke out into wild applause.

"Yaay, yay! Congratulations, congratulations! Finally!"

From that point on, Yushin and Bubbles were far too busy to take part in the conversation.

Somewhere along the line, Gray released Natsu's wrists and instead pulled him between his legs until Natsu's back was pressed against Gray's front, their limbs tangled before Natsu's body. It was a nice way of spending the rest of the time they still had together on that day—although it distracted Natsu from the important conversation that was going on between his friends and Ichika. She'd started telling the story of their past and how Bubbles' father went missing.

Natsu glanced at his watch every few minutes, growing more and more nervous the closer it got to seven o'clock. Even though he dreaded that Gray was going to die anyway—a blowjob wouldn't count as 'bonding', would it?—he didn't want him to die like the first two times.

Sure, Bubbles making out with Yushin didn't seem to be much of a threat, but Natsu didn't trust him. At all. If Natsu ran away with Gray, would Bubbles chase them? Would Natsu taking action provoke a fight which might end up in Gray sacrificing himself for Natsu yet again? It seemed possible, if not likely. Because no matter how he tried to separate Gray and Bubbles, it would probably make Bubbles angry or at least suspicious—given that he noticed in the first place.

In the end, Natsu decided on not taking the risk of doing anything that could provoke Bubbles. Which meant sitting it out.

"—Natsu?"

_'What?'_

"Uh... yes?"

Erza shot him an angry look. "Did you even pay attention?"

A cold shiver ran down his spine like it always did when Erza was angry with him.

"N-no..."

Gajeel clicked his tongue in annoyance, and Erza's body language said that she wanted to beat Natsu into a pulp. Gray tightened his grip on Natsu and turned him sideways, shielding Natsu's body with his own. Help came from somebody he wouldn't have expected: Ichika.

"Oh my, oh my! He'll lose his sweetheart soon, so don't be so aggressive, scary girl!"

Erza turned her back on Natsu, facing Ichika instead.

"This is _important information_ for saving his _sweetheart!"_

Before Ichika could respond, Lucy intervened: "It's okay, I'll write it down in his stead, so please calm down!" And in Natsu's direction, she asked, "Could you give me the diary?"

Natsu stretched out his hand for the rucksack, but Gray beat him to it. He tossed it over to Lucy and wrapped his arms around Natsu's torso again, pulling him closer still.

The diary was still locked, so Natsu fumbled for the key, took off the necklace and tossed it over to Lucy as well. Then he glanced at his watch again, freezing in shock when he saw that it was seven. He still hadn't determined the exact time of Gray's death, but it had to be within the next five minutes. Gray didn't ask for the exact time of his death, but he could probably guess from Natsu's behavior that he didn't have that much more time to live.

As much as Natsu knew he should see Gray's death as something temporary, and as much as he knew that he shouldn't let it get to him, he couldn't help but feel as if something was choking him. Gray would forget. Forget that Natsu loved him, forget their kisses, forget that they'd become intimate...

Natsu turned around in Gray's arms and pushed him down on the grass, forgetting everything around them as he sealed Gray's lips in a passionate kiss. Oh how he wished he could burn the memory into Gray's mind, make him remember even though time rewound. It felt as if knives pierced his heart, over and over again, despite Gray still being right there, lying under him and kissing him.

Just then a thought occurred to Natsu: Wendy was with them. He'd wanted to make her try and prevent Gray's death. Gray had interjected the previous time that Wendy wouldn't be able to do anything when even Porlyusica couldn't, but it wouldn't hurt to at least try. So he broke their kiss, sat up, and urged Wendy to monitor Gray's heart.

It turned out to be futile. Gray died at 7:03. Wendy broke out in tears, apologizing so many times that Natsu eventually tuned her out, just like he ignored all the others, who tried to distract him or expressed their condolences.

He sat there, staring emptily into space, his mind reeling. He'd lost Gray again. It was the sixth time he'd seen Gray die. Was it supposed to hurt less the more this happened? Because it was the complete opposite. How should he ever be capable of writing in such a state? With Gray's lifeless body lying next to him, and Natsu's lips still tingling from their last kiss. How was he supposed to stay sane when his most important person was ripped away from him again and again? What had he done to deserve such a punishment?

At some point, Lucy gently put the necklace with the key back around his neck, and then hugged him tightly. It was too much; all the tears he'd kept inside until then broke free. He clutched at Lucy's shoulders, buried his face in the crook of her neck, and sobbed loudly, drenching her shirt. She patted his back, but it only served to make him lose control over his emotions even more. Had he ever cried this much before?

By the time dizziness overcame Natsu, he was still weeping bitterly, and he wished it would just stop; wished Gray wouldn't die anymore; wished that he didn't need to undergo the same torture yet again... But it wasn't like he had a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
> 
> Now, please read the [entry](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8748085/chapters/20524243) in Natsu's diary and this [addition](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8976967/chapters/20524402) to the series~


	10. Day 7 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone :))
> 
> Heads-up! Day 7 is divided into _**four**_ parts! A lot happens (also a lot of smut, oh my), and I’ve had a bit of a writer’s block (which is now over, thankfully!), so the buffer I wanted to keep at four weeks has shrunk to one week (which bothers me a lot), so this is also to give me a bit more time, while not missing out on an update. I'm at three weeks buffer now, thanks to splitting this day up. That feels a lot better than one week :)
> 
> Also, since somebody on ffn asked: Gray isn’t a Devil Slayer in my fic. He’s the ‘classic Gray’ and only using normal Ice Make magic.

There was a faceless, dark figure before him. "It hurts, right?"

"What?"

The figure nodded towards a point behind Natsu's back.

When Natsu turned around, the peaceful landscape twisted into something dark and gloomy; grass turned into rocks, trees into metal pillars with sharp spikes. The sunny blue sky changed its color to blood red. Where Gray had been happily snuggling against Natsu's back, he squirmed in pain, screaming for help while sharp blades without handles cut deep into his flesh.

Natsu didn't hesitate to wrap his fingers around the blades to try and tear them away from Gray, but all he achieved was cutting his fingers until they were severed from his hand. It hurt like hell, but seeing Gray be cut like that was even more painful. So he took over to pushing at the blades with his fingerless hands, with the same outcome—the blades cut his hands as if they were made out of butter.

A feral scream broke free from Natsu's throat, and as a reaction, Gray only screamed louder. Didn't Gray have to breathe at all? How could he let out a constant scream like this? Natsu's ears were already ringing, but it didn't stop his efforts. The next thing he tried was to push the blades away with his forearms, but it was no use.

The black figure let out a hearty laugh. Natsu whirled around, snarling.

"Make it stop! You're going to kill him! We've suffered enough!"

"Too bad for you I'm not a person. I don't even have a body. I can't change this no matter what you say. These blades won't stop until your lover is dead, no matter what."

"THEN WHAT CAN I DO?"

"Oh, I don't know. But did you see what's next to you?"

Natsu frantically looked around, searching for anything that would help him fend off the blades, but all he found was a book, buried under some stones. He kicked them aside to have a free view on the book and noticed that it was his diary.

"How can a book save Gray from blades?!"

But the figure wasn't there any longer. Natsu could hear distant laughter, but it grew quieter and quieter until it broke off completely.

Natsu belatedly realized that Gray wasn't screaming anymore. A cold shiver ran down his spine when he saw that Gray's body was completely deformed, cut into pieces, blood everywhere. The blades were nowhere to be seen; they'd vanished.

"No... Please... Gray... Gray... GRAAAY!!!"

***

Natsu jolted upright in his bed, Gray's name still on his lips. His heart was hammering against his ribcage, his hair sticking to his head, drenched with sweat, as were all his clothes and the sheets. To his surprise, his eyes were moist. That had never happened before. But then again, he hadn't had a nightmare—or _any dream_ for that matter—before waking up in the morning until then.

He wobbled into the bathroom, completely ignoring Happy who had entered his room and asked in a worried tone, "What's wrong?"

Because everything was wrong, and he didn't have the energy to explain it—at least not right then. Maybe a shower could calm his nerves.

***

The shower didn't calm his nerves in the slightest, and Happy's nagging on their way to the guild only contributed to his growing desperation, as well as it was meant. Natsu blocked all questions, from 'Do you feel sick?' to 'What happened?' to 'What's in that rucksack and why are you taking it to the guild hall?'. His only answers were grunting and 'not now'.

Before they entered the guild hall, Natsu asked Happy to leave him alone once they were inside with his eyes cast on the floor.

For a few seconds, there was silence. Then a sob resounded, and Natsu was met with an armful of blue fur. "Please t-tell me what's g-going on... L-let me help..."

Natsu knew that his behavior towards Happy was rude and unfair, and that he should at least give some kind of explanation, even when all he wanted was to scream at the world to 'save Gray and him from this misery.' He brought his arms up to pat Happy's back.

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing you can do to help me... I have to figure this out by myself. Please leave me alone with Gray when we enter the guild hall."

Happy gasped when he heard Gray's name, breaking free from Natsu's grip. He beamed at Natsu, the sadness forgotten.

"Ohhhh, I see! You're finally going to confess, and you're afraid he'll say no. You're nervous!"

Natsu bit his lip, already regretting lying when he gave a small nod. Happy gave him a strong pat on the shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay! Let's go, come on!"

Happy made good on his words, flying off towards the bar as soon as they entered the guild, where Mirajane... wasn't talking with Wendy, but instead scrutinizing Natsu for some heartbeats, before focusing her attention back on Wendy. Strange, she hadn't even paid him a brief look the previous times... Natsu shook his head. It was probably just because he radiated a negative aura or something like that.

Natsu had thought hard about how to confess to Gray this time but found that he was too empty inside to flirt or anything alike. Gray would expect him to be nervous, not depressed. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't find the strength to smile or pretend to be anything other than sad. Not even the sight of Gray sitting on the bench and playing with his glass managed to cheer him up. There was no way Gray would ever believe him if he confessed like that, let alone if he didn't even say what was going on—because that was something he _couldn't_ do. Just the thought of having to explain everything all over again turned his stomach. The easiest, but probably also most painful solution for Gray would be giving him the diary. Seeing as the plan of the day was to visit the oracle of the Magic Council and make her spit out what she knew, Gray would want to know what was going on anyway. As much as Natsu wanted to spare Gray's feelings, he didn't see any possibility of convincing him without telling him that he would die. He hated it but making Gray read the diary seemed like the most reasonable solution.

He shuffled over to where Gray sat. This time, he left a small space between their bodies when he slumped down next to Gray, not wanting to startle him. As expected, Gray ignored him at first, but when Natsu pushed the already open diary over, Gray flinched, eyeing Natsu warily.

There was a lump in Natsu's throat, making it harder for him to speak. "Read it."

"Wha—Is this a diary?"

"Yes, it's mine. Read it."

"A diary isn't meant to be read by others..."

Natsu let out a heavy sigh. "I know that. Now would you _please_ read it or do I have to read it out to you?"

Gray shot him a questioning look, but when Natsu gave him an affirmative nod, he shrugged and started reading.

It didn't take long for Gray to show reactions to what he was reading. First, it was a small gasp, then another one, paired with an incredulous side glance at Natsu. Gray didn't take his eyes off the diary for long. He clenched his hands into fists while reading, and Natsu was sure that Gray had already passed the part where it said that they had confessed their love. He decided it was okay to rest his head on Gray's shoulder. Maybe the physical proximity would help him understand that this wasn't a joke, plus it eased Natsu's pain somewhat.

Gray went completely stiff.

"It's okay... I'm in love with you. I won't hurt you, so, please... let me be close to you."

Releasing a shuddering breath, Gray nodded and relaxed a bit. Natsu took it as an invitation to snuggle closer—and he wasn't rejected. The closeness to Gray was like balm for his wounded soul; he felt a welcome warmth spreading throughout his body, originating in his gut.

When Gray turned a page, it crossed Natsu's mind that he, too, hadn't read Lucy's entry yet, so he glanced at the pages, startled to see a _very_ long text in Lucy's neat handwriting. Natsu read the entry quickly, wanting to check the contents before Gray would reach them. He was so focused on finding something that wasn't meant for Gray's eyes that he missed the meaning behind the words, and thus needed to go back and read whole paragraphs again.

When he reached the last passage, his throat constricted.

 _Gray died a few minutes ago. Natsu isn't responding to anything. If anyone besides Natsu ever reads this: Please take care of him. He's the kind of person to hide his misery behind a smile or a prank because he doesn't want to burden others. But right now I can see that he's_ not alright _and that he'll probably go crazy if this keeps up. And Natsu, please take care of yourself. Please,_ please _don't keep this bottled up until it's too late. I can only imagine the pain you're going through every single day. It'll get worse and worse if you don't find a solution soon. I'll always be there for you, as will Gray. He wrote it himself. I'm sure the same goes for the rest of our guild mates._

Natsu was about to cover it with his hands, but Gray caught them mid-movement.

Gray's voice was low and croaky when he spoke: "I already read everything."

"Wh- _what_? So fast?"

"Y-you're just too s-slow, idiot."

The insult wasn't convincing at all. It sounded rather like Gray had a hard time holding back tears. With him leaning over the book, his bangs covered most of his face; Natsu couldn't see his expression, so he pushed at Gray's shoulder, but Gray refused to budge.

He was hiding his face deliberately! Natsu forcibly turned Gray until they were facing each other. He felt a stab in his heart when he saw tears streaming down Gray's face, dripping from his chin.

"Gray..."

"S-sorry. I'm just... I didn't believe it at first... But... that's my handwriting... A-and..."

A train of sobs rendered him unable to speak. Natsu didn't think twice and pulled Gray into a tight hug, running his hands soothingly up and down Gray's back.

"Shhh... I know this is a lot to process... I'm sorry, too."

As an answer, Gray clutched Natsu tighter, his tears soaking the fabric of Natsu's vest.

Oh, how Natsu wished he could make things easier somehow. Having to deal with the prospect of his own inevitable death approaching... And at the same time being told that his love was reciprocated—Natsu didn't know if that made it easier or even harder to deal with. Knowing that you could've had more than friendship with the love of your life, and only having less than a day left to make up for years of longing while waiting for your death... It seemed cruel.

But there was no way to change it, at least not right then. All Natsu could do was provide as much comfort as he could, distract Gray as much as the circumstances allowed him to.

After a few minutes, Gray's sobbing subsided, and he sat upright again, breaking the hug. The rims of his eyes were red, and his voice croaky when he spoke.

"Tell me again... H-how you feel about me."

Natsu cradled Gray's skull, looking him deeply in the eye. He was sure that his expression was still sad, but at least Gray knew the reason then. "I love you, Gray. I have for a long time already. You're my first love... the only one I want to be with..."

Gray bit his bottom lip, looking like he was about to burst into tears yet again. Without breaking their eye contact, Natsu pulled Gray's face closer while leaning in himself. Natsu could spend hours just staring in those icy blue orbs that gleamed with love and longing, and a trace of insecurity and sadness. Instead of kissing Gray right away, Natsu nudged Gray's nose with his while stroking Gray's cheeks. A soft sigh escaped Gray's lips, and his eyes fluttered shut.

Leaning their foreheads together, Natsu whispered, "I wanna kiss you."

"Y-yes. I want that, too."

Natsu brought their lips together, barely a whisper of a touch. It felt so good, and it made all the sorrows and dark thoughts disappear at once. Gray reciprocated, hesitant at first, but then growing more certain, adding more pressure, testing and exploring. Natsu let it happen, curious how Gray would kiss if he was completely passive.

When Gray encompassed Natsu's chin to align the angle with one hand, and caressed his nape with the other, Natsu decided that _this_ was the best first kiss they ever had, and that he liked Gray taking control. As Gray started to nibble at his lips, Natsu couldn't hold back a moan, feeling the rush of blood in his groin. Shit, that was good. If they didn't stop soon, Natsu would be hard and horny by the time they pulled apart. And it seemed like that was exactly what Gray was aiming for, seeing as he hummed contentedly, biting some more and letting his hands rove over Natsu's chest, his back, through his hair.

It went on like this for a minute or so, and when they broke the kiss, both of them were panting, cheeks flushed. Natsu could smell that Gray was just as aroused as himself.

Just then he registered the sounds of their surroundings again—or rather, the lack of sounds. Somebody—probably Lucy—cleared their throat, and slowly conversations were picked up again.

Gray kept his gaze firmly locked onto the bench, looking embarrassed.

_'Cute.'_

He didn't say it out loud, knowing full well how Gray would react to such a compliment.

And anyway, it was time to return his attention to moving his plans forward. It seemed obvious that the only ones who needed to go on the mission were Gajeel and Pantherlily since their 'enemies' had mentioned only him... Or at least Lucy wrote it down like that. He kicked himself mentally for not having paid attention. What if he'd missed an important piece of information that Lucy hadn't written down because she didn't deem it necessary? What if there was something she hadn't considered asking but was actually important to know? Plus, there was no way he could tell whether the mission would go well if only Gajeel and Pantherlily went. There could be something else going wrong. Anything. Natsu didn't even know who did the talking the previous time. What if it was Lucy and what if Gajeel would say something stupid that would enrage Bubbles? What if Bubbles lost control over his emotions again and 'accidentally' killed a civilian? What if—

"Oy, Natsu. I can hear your gears rotating from here. Don't overdo it or your brain might explode. Besides, your face looks stupid when you're thinking."

" _What_ was that, popsicle?"

The devious smirk on Gray's face would normally enrage Natsu even further, but right then, he just _had to_ smile back. Seeing this expression on Gray was refreshing, and it perked up Natsu's mood instantly, his smile growing brighter as Gray's smirk grew broader. They burst out laughing at the same time, bending over until their foreheads bumped into each other's. Gray shoved Natsu backward, hitting his shoulder playfully, and Natsu slapped his fist away before clutching at his aching stomach, shoulders shaking with laughter. It was cleansing, being able to laugh like this again after all the negative feelings.

When their laughter ebbed away, and their gazes met each other's again, the lightness was gone all of a sudden, the weight of reality and responsibility overwhelming Natsu once again.

"Do you want to go alone?" Gray asked in a serious tone.

"Where to?"

Gray rolled his eyes. "The Magic Council of course."

"No way! You're coming with me!"

"Only me? What about Happy and the others?"

"Only you."

Gray looked like he wanted to protest or at least ask for a reason, but something in Natsu's face must have changed his mind. Maybe it was selfish and unreasonable, but Natsu craved to be alone with Gray, even if it would last only until they reached the Magic Council.

"Fine. Shall we take the quick and easy way out or the long but proper way?"

Natsu raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask, Gray added, "Out of the guild hall, flame-brain. Either we tell the others all about the situation... or..." He trailed off.

"Or what?"

"Do you have a pen handy?"

Without even knowing what Gray wanted to do, Natsu rummaged in his rucksack, pulling out a pen and handing it to Gray. Of course, he'd choose the quick way out—it meant he'd get to spend more alone time with Gray, and he wouldn't have to explain the situation for the umpteenth time to their guild mates.

Gray opened the diary, tore out the edge of a page nearing the end, and then wrote down 'Take Gajeel and Pantherlily with you on the mission. Please trust us. Sorry. Natsu & Gray'. He folded the scrap once, then tucked it between his glass and the tabletop before pulling Natsu upright and announcing to everyone that he and Natsu would be coming back soon. Natsu hastily stuffed the diary and the pen back into his rucksack, and then they walked out of the guild hall hand in hand, waving off Erza's warning that they should keep their strength for later.

As soon as they were out in the open, they exchanged a quick nod, and then took off running to the train station. The trip to Era wouldn't be nearly as long as the one to their original mission, plus there were far more trains departing in that direction. It turned out that they needed to wait only ten minutes for the next train to come, but these ten minutes seemingly lasted forever, with the both of them constantly worried that their guild mates might find the paper too soon and hunt them down before they could leave. It was the only time Natsu was actually _glad_ to _finally_ be able to board a train, even though he was violently ill and clutching at Gray's arm not a minute later.

***

When they arrived at their destination, Natsu spent some minutes leaned against a wall, trying to recover from his nausea. People shot him suspicious and worried looks, and one passerby even asked if he was alright, but Gray shooed him away.

Natsu straightened himself as soon as his stomach settled, forcing a smile onto his features when he noticed deep concern written all over Gray's face. He still wasn't feeling well, but that had nothing to do with his nausea. In fact, the bad feeling he'd had in the morning was slowly creeping back, and he didn't want to burden Gray with it. The ice mage already had enough to worry about.

Gray's brows tensed. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't act tough. I can see right through it. You're not alright."

Biting his lip, Natsu countered, "What good would it do to show my distress all the time? We need to go to the Magic Council. Come on."

Before Gray had the chance to answer, Natsu grabbed Gray's hand and pulled him along.

"Just don't fake smiles, idiot. I'm not saying you need to cry all the time."

Natsu nodded without turning back, making a mental note to either improve the credibility of his fake smiles or not to use them anymore in Gray's presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always happy to hear your thoughts on the prophecy or Natsu's dream or any other ideas about how the story might proceed~


	11. Day 7 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that Mirajane has a note, too, seemed to be confusing to some people, so here's the explanation: When Lucy and nearly all the others read Natsu's diary in Chapter 8, Natsu was outside with Laxus and Gray was lost in thoughts. Mirajane used the opportunity to secretly cut out a page of the diary (one of the last pages) and hid it from everyone. She made the cut clean so that it wouldn't be noticed easily. The paper stays where it is because the _pages_ of the diary are enchanted to keep the state they are put into (or else writing would vanish), while the diary itself will return to its place when the day starts anew.
> 
> In short: Everything that's still in the diary will return to Natsu's room, everything that's not attached to it (anymore) won't.

The Magic Council was a huge and posh building with an expansive foyer. All the marble statues, armors, and adorned pillars attracted attention so that Natsu nearly overlooked the old receptionist who eyed them bewilderedly. No, scratch that; he eyed their _joined hands_ bewilderedly.

Out of spite, Natsu didn't let go of Gray's hand as they walked over to the reception. "Hi there! We want to talk to the Oracle!"

The receptionist scrutinized the pair, and when his gaze landed on Natsu's guild mark, his eyes narrowed. "And which Oracle would that be, young man?"

"Well... The Oracle of the Magic Council."

The receptionist rolled his eyes. "Obviously. _Which_ one of them? We have three."

Did they? "Err... Is it possible to see all of them?"

Gray squeezed his hand tighter as if to warn him, but Natsu didn't care. Yes, the protruding vein was obvious, but was it _his_ fault that this man held a grudge against Fairy Tail?

However, before the man could answer, a woman with long blond hair and a light blue silk dress rounded the corner, asking in a sing-song voice, "Fairy Tail's Salamander, I take it?"

"Yes."

"Come with me."

They followed her, but not without Natsu sticking his tongue out to the old man before.

***

When they entered the office of the Oracle, Natsu was surprised to find it empty, aside from a blue magic circle on the floor.

"You came here to ask me for help."

Natsu clenched his teeth, but Gray gave his hand a warning squeeze. Natsu's grudge against her was still strong, but for some reason, he wasn't at all in the mood to fight her. Strange.

"Yes."

The woman walked across the magic circle until she stood on the outer line that was farthest away from the door.

"Please step onto the rim opposite of me and close your eyes."

Natsu hesitantly did as he was told. He didn't want to trust this woman, yet there was something about her aura that soothed him and convinced him that she was trustworthy. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to be angry.

As soon as his eyes were closed, a strange feeling flooded his body. It was like a mixture of wind and water, running through his veins, tingling his insides. It was so different from the heat of his own magic, yet it didn't feel unpleasant. The feeling intensified, and after about a minute he found it hard to breathe, almost as if his lungs were slowly filling with water. But he wouldn't be subdued so easily. He found that if he breathed very slowly, it was alright.

Another few minutes ticked by, and the increasing feeling of malaise slowly made it more and more difficult for Natsu to stay upright. He felt nauseous, choked, his heart ached, every single muscle in his body felt like he'd exerted them far past the point of exhaustion. His brain told him to take a step back and end this. His _gut_ told him to stay and endure it.

Just when the pain got so bad that Natsu was about to take a step back, it ended abruptly.

Natsu's eyes opened wide and he sank to his knees. The ground was invisible, the room or _anything else_ around him non-existent. It was like drifting in space, everything black. He heard a weak whimper from behind him and turned around.

The Oracle lay on her side on the invisible ground, dozens of scratches and stabbing wounds all over her body, bleeding heavily. Her hair fully covered her face.

Panic rose in his gut, and Natsu stumbled over to her. He'd seen too many deaths already; he didn't want yet another person to die in his presence, let alone die _because of_ him.

When he pushed her hair aside, he shrieked when he found her staring wide-eyed at him. Where her pupils should have been, there was only whiteness.

She inhaled deeply and then talked with many different voices, "Natsu Dragneel, you are not ready yet. Please go your way, and come back when you are ready."

"How should I know when I'm ready?"

"You will know. Go now. Your time has not come yet."

"No... I refuse to give up. Can't I assist you somehow? Can't we try a bit harder?"

With a jolt, Natsu came to, and the first thing he noticed was that he was falling sideways. Just when he expected to hit the ground, he felt something soft beneath him. _'Gray...'_

"Natsu!?"

Gray was right there, arms wrapped around Natsu's torso, asking whether he was alright, if he could stand, and what happened.

All the pain was gone. Natsu could breathe freely again. He looked up, nodded reassuringly, and then turned his attention to the Oracle.

She was on her knees, breathing heavily, clutching her chest. Relief washed through Natsu when he saw that she wasn't wounded. She locked eyes with Natsu, an earnest look on her face.

"It is impossible. You cannot pluck an apple from a sapling, no matter how hard you try."

Natsu wanted to voice a complaint, but Gray beat him to it.

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "I cannot help you. Please leave and only come back when you are ready."

Natsu sat up, indignant to accept the failure. "Tell me how I can help you. Let's try again."

"Plants need time to grow. You cannot force them to grow in a matter of seconds. It is impossible. Please leave."

"But I need to save Gray! What should I do?"

"Carry on. Live. Love. Enjoy. Do not rely on me. Now leave."

"Wh-what?"

_"Leave."_

An invisible power pushed Natsu and Gray out of the room, and the door slammed the second they were outside. Natsu scrambled to his feet, only to find that the door was gone. There was only a solid wall, far and wide no door in sight.

Anger suddenly rose in his gut. "Damn it!!" he shouted, slamming his fist into the wall, partly hoping to break through to the office that was supposedly behind it, but also wanting to make room for his frustration.

The wall crumbled, but all it revealed was solid stone. Where had she gone? How dare she tell them that they should _enjoy_ their time when Gray was about to die! Did she _know_ what they were going through? Did she even _care??_ Or was she the one behind it after all? Was she secretly laughing about them, satisfied that her plan had worked out?

Natsu bared his teeth, flames encompassing his body. "That bitch. _Who do you think you are?! Come back here and fight me! You coward!"_

His mind blanked out completely as rage took over.

Nothing could withstand his flames and the sheer power of his fists, and soon he was surrounded by rubble. He hadn't found the room of the Oracle yet, so he kept going, completely ignoring Gray's shouts and poor attempts to stop him with ice magic.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, NATSU!"

A fist hit him so hard it sent him flying into the wall at the other end of the corridor. He looked up, noticed Gray's figure coming closer rapidly, and spew flames into his direction. Gray wanting to hold him back made him even angrier.

"I'm trying to _save_ you here, bastard!"

Gray broke through his flames and hit him hard in the gut, pressing all air out of his lungs.

"How is this helping me in any way? You're in a blind rage! _Stop it!"_

Stop? And let Gray die again? No way. If Gray didn't want to help, then Natsu would have to do it alone. Gray was in his way.

A fight ensued in the middle of the Magic Council. Gray shouted at Natsu to stop like a mantra, and Natsu could tell he didn't use his whole power, but even so, Gray managed to land quite a few hits.

Natsu was inattentive for a split second, and suddenly found himself pinned down to the floor with Gray sitting astride his hips, pinning his wrists to the floor. He was about to kick Gray in the back, fight him off, but then he noticed Gray's forlorn expression and paused.

"You imbecile! Did you think I appreciate you running berserk to fight a woman who tried to _help_ us?!"

"Help?"

"Yes, _help!_ What happened in there? What made you so angry? Tell me!"

A tear dripped onto the torn fabric on Natsu's abdomen, and it was like a bucket of icy water hitting his face, making him realize what he'd done.

He gulped and turned his head sideways, closing his eyes. "I... I believe that she is the reason for your death."

He heard Gray gasp. "Wh-what? Oh god... What did she say? What did she do to you? What happened during those few minutes?"

"I was in extreme pain..."

Gray snarled, then punched his fist into the floor next to Natsu's body. "Something else?"

"I was pulled into a... dream? Something like that. She lay on the floor, hurt, bleeding, no pupils in her eyes. She told me that I'm not ready yet with a weird voice. She said I should come back when I'm ready."

"Well... She looked like she was in pain, too. Did she threaten you?"

"No... all she did was tell me that I'm not ready. And of course, she told me to _enjoy_ my life, did you _hear_ that?"

Natsu looked up defiantly at Gray, just in time to see a shadow passing over his face.

"I did. I wanted to be angry at her... but somehow, I couldn't. But still, running berserk and destroying half the Magic Council didn't help, now, did it? You could try _asking_ for something for once!"

"She made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to see us again. Do you really think they'd let us if we _asked nicely?"_

Gray opened his mouth, but a male voice beat him to it. "Damn right, we wouldn't."

And in the next moment, they were under attack from various directions. They fought side by side, defeating their attackers in no time at all—the soldiers protecting the Magic Council were incredibly weak.

"We surrender!"

Natsu stepped towards the man who'd spoken, asking him where they could find the Oracle. Instead of giving an answer, the soldier begged Natsu not to kill him, and after being asked a second time, he said that he didn't know a thing, that he was just hired to protect the Magic Council.

"What's the meaning of this commotion?" a loud, dark voice echoed.

Natsu shouted, "We want to see the Oracle!"

A tall, fat man with a huge, white beard emerged from the smoke. He stopped close to Natsu, eyeing him curiously.

"Oh, Fairy Tail. Well, I think Makarov has a separate fund to pay the costs for this repair." He smiled. "Which one of the Oracles do you want to see?"

"The one with pale skin and long blond hair."

In a creepy voice, the fat man said, "Ohhh, you mean Lydia. She's my favorite. Good choice." Natsu's jaw dropped, and the man cleared his throat, blush on his cheeks. "I mean, she's the best at fortune telling. Her prophecies are always so helpful."

Gray and Natsu exchanged a meaningful look before Gray spoke.

"Well, we don't understand one of her prophecies, that's why we'd like to ask her some questions."

"Oh, alright. But, may I ask why you didn't just... you know, ask for it?"

Gray regarded Natsu with a death glare while Natsu looked around awkwardly, taking in the destruction.

"Ah, well, you're Fairy Tail mages after all. Can't be helped, I guess. Give me a moment. I'll call Lydia."

And with that, he retreated, stumbling over rubble a few times.

"Who was that?" Natsu asked.

"The _chairman_. Geez, you should know that at least."

Gray let out a heavy sigh, closing the distance between them with a few quick steps. Warm arms wrapped around Natsu's torso, making contact with his skin where his clothes were torn. Natsu sighed, reciprocating the hug. It calmed his nerves and dissipated a huge part of his anger.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. Your nerves must be strained from all that happened so far. And she wasn't exactly nice to us at the end, too. I should've gotten mad at her, too, and I _was_ a bit mad, but... There was _something_ that prevented me from getting too upset."

Gray had felt it, too?

Natsu pushed them apart, shooting Gray a suspicious look.

"Me too! I felt something, and I had to trust her, had to believe her, couldn't attack her. Did she manipulate us somehow?"

"U-uh... Maybe...?"

"Shit, that nasty witch! I'm going to fucking _roast—"_

Gray slapped his flat hand against Natsu's face and kept it there, covering his mouth.

"Would you _please_ wait with that until we know what's actually going on?"

As much as Natsu wanted to complain, he knew that Gray had a point. He recalled the situation that had happened the day before when they'd been talking about Zeref, where Gray had been the stubborn one. He recalled the feeling of helplessness when Gray refused to listen to any reason. That had to be what Gray felt right then.

He reached for Gray's wrist and removed his hand. "I'm sorry. You're right."

Gray nodded, and then pulled Natsu back into his arms.

The chairman arrived with some healers a minute later. He beckoned the two of them so that they wouldn't hinder the healers, and led them into a corridor that was still intact. The look in his eyes was reproachful, to say the least.

"Lydia is being treated right now. She over-exerted herself, used too much of her magic power. She won't be able to cast magic for the rest of the day."

His expression turned cold, his eyes narrowing. "Tell your master that I've repaid the favor and that he now owes me one."

Natsu let Gray do the talking this time, knowing full well that Gray didn't trust him not to fuck this up otherwise.

"We will. Thanks. Err, actually, we still have a question..."

The chairman raised his brow in a silent invitation to go on.

"We've been wondering... There's this strange... _aura_ around Lydia..."

"Ah, it was your first time meeting an Oracle?"

"Yes."

"They're very special mages. They're born with the magic ability to receive prophecies. However, they can't learn new magic like a normal mage can. The Oracle magic can't be used for fighting, so to protect them, they have another inherent magic that makes everyone around them peaceful. It also prevents them from lying, which is... _mostly_ a good thing for the people around her, but as for how she feels about it... Well, don't ask her about it."

They couldn't lie? What kind of stupid magic was _that?_

"What happens if they try to lie?"

"They just can't. Lydia once tried to lie to me... Her words were cut off, and nothing came out of her mouth anymore until she decided to tell the truth."

"And is there a reason why they're born with this kind of magic? It seems suspicious."

Good that Gray asked. Natsu would've voiced his concern otherwise.

"We're not entirely sure... The records are sparse, but there seemed to be a time when all the Oracles formed an alliance, delivered wrong prophecies, and thus caused a civil war beyond comparison. That supposedly happened millenniums ago."

Gray nodded, but Natsu wasn't convinced.

"Well, I have other business to tend to, if you may excuse me. Please wait here. I think Lydia still needs a bit time to recover. She'll come here once she's ready."

He bowed his head and then left them alone. Natsu let out a heavy sigh, unclenching the fists he hadn't noticed he'd clenched in the first place.


	12. Day 7 Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to read smut, you can jump (ctrl+f) to "Before Natsu had the chance to retort something"

Natsu heard faint footsteps around the corner, and caught a whiff of Jellal's scent. Ah, right. He'd nearly forgotten about him. He didn't need to turn around to notice that Jellal peeked around the corner, let out a relieved sound, and hid again.

Natsu was slammed against the wall, Gray's body caging him in. With demanding lips pressing against his, Natsu's mind blanked out for a second.

 _'What's happening? Where's this coming from?'_ Not that Natsu disliked it, but Gray had never been so rough before, and it only got rougher the longer the kiss went on. Gray's hands roved all over Natsu's body, under his vest, over his abdomen, his ass, slowly sliding lower...

Natsu moaned into the kiss, practically feeling his blood shoot right into his dick. _What the_ hell _was happening?_ One second they'd been talking to the chairman, and in the next they violently made out in the middle of the Magic Council, all tongue and teeth and heat. Even though his body shouted _'more!'_ , Natsu managed to push Gray away.

"Sh-shit, Gray, what brought this on?"

Gray cupping the bulge in his jeans and moaning at the contact didn't exactly help Natsu in his attempt to tamp down on his physical needs, but he had a strong will. He _would_ control himself—at least until Gray offered an explanation.

"You're so damn hot, especially when you fight... now that your clothes are torn, you look even sexier, and I just... sh-should I stop?"

The way Gray carefully examined his features, clearly prepared to stop in case Natsu wasn't comfortable, aroused Natsu even more, and suddenly he couldn't stand the distance between them anymore. He pulled Gray close, slotted their mouths together, and groped Gray's ass, encouraging him to grind his hips against Natsu's.

Gray complied all too happily, moaning into the kiss as he let his hands slide down to Natsu's waistband, silently asking for permission to enter. However, Natsu wanted to try something else this time, so he grabbed Gray's hands and led them back upwards. Gray broke their kiss and pulled back, looking Natsu in the eye.

"What do you want me to do?"

Natsu had been reluctant to come in his clothes the previous time, but Gray was right: What harm would it do?

"Th-this... just keep going..."

"Y-you mean... dry humping?"

"I-if that's what y-you— _ahh_ —c-call it..."

"But I can barely feel anything in my jeans..."

"Then take them off..."

It took Gray less than two seconds to follow Natsu's order, and then he was back to grinding his crotch against Natsu's. The sensations were different from those of a blowjob, but in no way inferior. Just the thought of Gray's cock being so close to his, only separated by thin layers of fabric, sent shivers down his spine. And then there was Gray's hot breath against Natsu's ear, the little whimpers he tried to stifle, his hands exploring Natsu's body hungrily... The friction against his cock wasn't that intense, but his mind supplying him the mental image of their bare cocks sliding against each other's, slicked by lube, was enough to get him closer, gradually.

"N-Natsu— _haaahhh_ —T-touch me, too."

Only then did Natsu realize that all he'd done with his hands up until that point was clinging to Gray's shoulders, so he started reciprocating the touches, wondering when the hell Gray had lost his shirt. Gray's back was mostly unhurt, but his front had some grazed spots, as well as some burned ones. Natsu wanted to avoid them, but it was next to impossible with Gray grinding against him in an increasingly quicker pace. Gray never once complained.

"T-t-talk—hnngh—to me," Gray demanded, and Natsu was confused by the request.

"U-uhh... S-so what do y— _ahhhh, shit_ —th-think we should a— _ahh_ —ask the O-Oracle?"

Gray stopped his movements immediately, regarding him with an incredulous look.

"Not like that, flame brain. That's a huge turn-off. I was thinking about _dirty_ talk."

"Errr..."

"Do you know how it works?"

Natsu felt his cheeks heat. "I've... probably read the term somewhere once...?"

"Tell me about your sexual fantasies, tell me how you like my body, or what I'm doing to you, or what you'd like to do to me, explicitly, stuff like that... don't be afraid to use dirty words... Please try, and if you don't like it, just stop. We'll... no, _you'll_ figure things out, and I trust you to teach me since I'll forget..."

Natsu didn't like the way this was going, with Gray's expression slowly turning grim.

"We'll still figure them out _together_ , droopy eyes. Besides, I already know that you give _fantastical_ blowjobs."

Gray choked on his breath, and coughed a few times. "Wha-what? I already... gave you a blowjob?"

There was a spark in Gray's eyes that told Natsu that he was going the right direction. He made sure to make his next words sound sultry, knowing they would arouse Gray.

"Yes, and we were in a public space, too."

And just like that, Gray resumed humping against Natsu's crotch, moaning hotly against his ear.

"It was in the m-middle of the— _hnnn_ —day, in an alley, a-against a w-wall. First you s-sucked me off— _oh g-god, do that again_ —a-and then I did the s-same to you..."

Gray's moans were loud; Natsu was sure Jellal and probably everyone in their close vicinity could hear them. Jellal had surely heard them the previous time as well, and he hadn't said anything, so there was a low risk of him interrupting them... The thought of being overheard turned Natsu on, as did Gray's moans, their touches, and even the dirty things he said... Damn, that stripper was contagious. Time to make Gray even hotter.

"Lucy s-saw us..."

"Wh-what? She... oh god, that's _hot_... t-tell me more. What h-happened— _ahhh_ —next?"

"I... continued—to suck you— _ah_ —off..."

"Sh-she _wa-watched_ us?"

"Y-you w-would've... l-liked—aaahhhh—that, r-right?"

Gray's movements grew erratic, as was his breath, and Natsu could tell that he probably wouldn't last much longer.

"I... I'm c-close, Na— _ahhhh_ —tsu..."

"I'm sure J-Jellal can— _hnnnghh_ —hear you m-moaning, feeling _s-so_ good—"

Suddenly Gray's movements stopped and his body shuddered violently as he came, Natsu's name on his lips. Natsu dug his hands into Gray's ass cheeks, encouraging him with little moans and hums until Gray's body went limp, sagging against his.

"Shit... that was... the most intense... orgasm I've had... in a long time..."

Natsu smiled involuntarily. "It certainly felt that way. You soaked my pants, too."

"My bad... But you'll soak them even more soon."

The perverted grin Gray regarded him with made his cock twitch impatiently, and when Gray resumed humping his softening, wet crotch against Natsu's achingly hard dick, Natsu knew that it wouldn't take long. Just then the scent of Gray's release hit Natsu's nose, and together with Gray's soft moans and the friction against his crotch, it sent Natsu tumbling over the edge. He came with a restrained moan, soaking his boxers with sticky, hot fluid. It ran down his legs, wetting his pants on its way down. It was a strange and uncomfortable feeling, and decided he wouldn't want to try this again unless there was a shower nearby.

Gray didn't take his eyes off Natsu's face as their breaths evened out. It was hard to keep a straight face when his release made its way down Natsu's softening cock, over his balls, dripping to his boxers... it was too wet for Natsu's liking.

"What's wrong?"

Oh, well. He couldn't hide anything from Gray, could he?

"It feels gross... too wet."

Natsu didn't like the mischievous grin on Gray's face at all. Why did it look like Gray was about to do something—

"Ahhh! What the f—? Bastard! Do you want my balls to—"

His complaints were cut off by a firm hand covering his mouth, leaving him to grunt in resistance.

"Shut up, idiot. Your balls won't fall off because of a little ice. Now, stop squirming so that I can remove it..."

Natsu slapped Gray's hand away from his mouth, so disturbed by the freezing temperature in his boxers that he couldn't form a coherent thought besides _'too cold!'_

"Shit, you asshole! I take it back! It wasn't too wet! This is too fucking _cold!_ Melt it! Undo it! _Now!"_

Gray flinched at Natsu's outburst, obviously not having expected such a reaction. He brought one hand to Natsu's crotch again, and a second later the coldness was gone, leaving his cum to drip all over the place again.

"S-sorry, I really thought you'd wanted me to—"

"Freeze my balls without warning? _No, I didn't."_

"Shit. I'm so sorry."

Before Natsu had the chance to retort something, a door opened with a squeaking sound close to them. Gray jumped away from Natsu, covering the wet spot on his boxers with one hand while fumbling for his pants and shirt with the other, trying awkwardly to get dressed.

A strange calmness overcame Natsu as he struggled to cover the mess in his pants with the thankfully completely dry loincloth. A soft chuckle rang out next to them, prompting both to turn their heads. Lydia was standing there, expression bemused. Her face was a bit pale, but other than that, she looked just fine.

"I underestimated you. I did not think you would doubt me and would go as far as devastate the Magic Council. I trusted you to understand the situation you are in. It looks like I need to set some things straight."

"Damn right you do," Gray said, although his tone lacked the bite Natsu would've associated with such a retort. In fact, it was said in a very atypical friendly way, but Natsu found that he _liked_ it. And no matter how much he wanted to blame this on Lydia, all he could feel was _contentment and happiness_. How couldn't he? Her smile was contagious, her vibrant appearance so soothing and pleasant that he _had to_ trust her.

"Let me accompany you outside, and on the way, we can talk."

They nodded, and as soon as Gray's clothes were fixed, they followed the Oracle.

"So, you have some questions?"

"Yes. What do I need to accomplish to be ready?"

Lydia opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She tried it again, but there still wasn't a sound. Her expression looked pained and sad. Was she trying to lie and couldn't speak because of that? Natsu felt a strong desire to comfort her, so strong that it was hard not to act on it.

She sighed, shook her head, and then said, "I cannot tell you. I am very sorry. Telling you would endanger the success of what fate has planned for you."

"How? If I know what to do, I can just do it without having to figure it out first."

"It is not that easy. I am not taking that risk. However, I can assure you that you will know once you are ready. I will call you."

Gray interjected, "And what if you tell only me?"

Lydia smiled. "You want to make me believe that you would not tell this secret to your lover? You two had sex in the middle of the Magic Council. It looks like you are rather close to each other. I cannot trust you with this. The future has to proceed as planned."

Natsu knew that under normal circumstances, he would become angry, but right then he just _couldn't_.

"If you know that many things about the future, then you should also know what that apple causes you can't pluck just yet."

"No, I do not know. The path that lays right before you is very clear to me, but then there is a wall. A wall that cannot be broken or circumvented. It needs a sacrifice. An apple. _Your_ apple. Offered willingly, not forcibly."

"I'm ready to offer _anything_ as long as it means Gray won't die."

They passed the huge door and were met with the warm summer sun and the beautiful colors of the blossoming front yard. Lydia paused, regarded them with a warm smile, and resumed walking towards the outer gate.

"Do you trust me?"

Both Natsu and Gray blurted out a "Yes!" at the same time.

"And do you keep your promises?"

Before Natsu had the chance to answer, Gray said, "So long as he remembers, yes."

Natsu wanted to shoot Gray a glare, but the soft chuckle from Lydia made him pause.

"Well then, would you promise something to me, Natsu Dragneel?"

"Uhh... what is it?"

The three of them stopped when they arrived at the outer gate, which had opened wide as they approached it.

"Promise me to continue searching for a solution without relying on me. I cannot do anything for you because you are not ready yet. Promise you will not come here again before I call you. Coming here before that will hinder your development. You have to bury the false hope that I can help you on your way until you reach the point where I can see past the blockade. Promise you will not come back to me until that point is reached."

"How should I know when the time has come?"

She pointed at Natsu's chest. "I assure you that you will notice. Trust me on this. You _will_ know without doubt when the time has come."

"Do I have another choice?"

Lydia flinched, expression darkening as her gaze hardened. "You could... decide not to make this promise, not to trust me. You could try to kill me. You would notice that you cannot kill me since I am protected by this spell. You would try to stop me in any possible way. You would lose sight of your true goal and become obsessed with stopping me. Your obsession would make it impossible for you to reach the point where I can see beyond the wall. You would stop the time loop and accept the death of the one you love the most."

Her voice got croakier nearing the end, and her eyes wet. Natsu was at a loss for words, feeling guilty for making her cry. Gray stared helplessly at her, eyes wide open in shock.

"If you decide to walk this path, the whole world will be thrown into darkness and destruction... I beg you... Please do not take this path... _Please..."_

She sank to her knees, and covered her face with both hands. Heavy sobs shook her body, and Natsu's feeling of guilt only intensified because he knew that what she'd just said wasn't that far-fetched. He _had been_ thinking about stopping her, admittedly not _killing_ , but he'd definitely wanted to do her harm. How long would it take for his anger and desperation to grow to the point where he _would_ consider attempting to kill her?

She _could_ be right, so Natsu made a decision: He would trust her, would promise not to come back until he reached that 'point' she was talking of. He wouldn't doubt her, even when he was free of the spell's influence. The odds of her prediction coming true were probably high, and Natsu couldn't stand the thought of endangering not only Gray's life but also the lives of so many others. There was still the chance that she was indeed the evil and had arranged everything until this point, but the risk of believing in this theory seemed to be far higher than believing her. He would never forgive himself if he ignored all the warnings and threw the whole world into turmoil.

When Natsu took in his surroundings again, he found Gray kneeling next to Lydia, a hand on her shoulder and trying to soothe her.

"... he isn't that stupid, I'm sure everything's gonna be okay..."

Natsu stepped in front of her and held out his hand.

"It will. I promise to continue without relying on you. And I promise not to come here again unless I know the time has come. So, please, stop crying and stand up."

Lydia hesitantly took the offered hand, her eyes puffy and doubtful as she looked up, but when her gaze met Natsu's, her expression became hopeful. When Natsu pulled her upright, the momentum nearly made her topple into him, but he kept her at arm's length, their eyes locked.

"The... dark path I could take... I swear by my own life that I won't let that happen. I decided to trust you, and I will make good on my promise. I'll protect Gray and this world."

Lydia bit her lip, and it looked like she was about to burst into tears yet again.

 _'What have I done wrong_ now?'

He was about to ask, but then she beamed at him, mouthing a 'thank you' and nodding towards the outer gate.

Dumbfounded, Natsu let go of her, and locked eyes with Gray, silently begging him to help. Gray gave him an encouraging smile and a nod, then turned to leave and made a beckoning gesture. Still unsure if it was okay to leave her alone like that, Natsu's gaze flickered between the two of them a few times, but when Lydia gave him another encouraging nod and a bright smile, he finally set out to follow Gray.

They walked in silence until they were out of eyeshot and the effect of Lydia's spell dissipated, and then stopped in an abandoned, narrow alley where the hot midday sun couldn't reach.

"Do you still trust her, now that we're away from her?"

Gray's voice was full of concern and doubt, but Natsu was determined.

"Yes. As you said, I keep my promises. I know there could be still a chance she set everything up, but... there's too much at stake. She doesn't seem like an evil person to me."

"Yeah, she doesn't. I'm glad. So, what do we do now? Any leads where we could start searching for a solution?"

"Actually... no. Besides the guess that Zeref _could_ have to do with the prophecy... We don't have any clue. I still need to check how the mission turns out if it's _only_ Gajeel and Pantherlily going... But we missed that chance today since we're here now."

"And how about the father of this... Bubbles?"

Natsu shrugged. "How should we find somebody who couldn't be found by the three people who are closest to him? They don't appear to be dumb, well, at least not the girl and the healer, nor are they weak, so I'm sure they already searched everywhere he could possibly be..."

Gray clicked his tongue. "Then we can't do _anything_ today?"

Natsu thought hard about something they _could_ do even though they wouldn't be able to reach the destination of their mission anymore, but came up empty. Search for Zeref? Where should they start searching for somebody who was supposed to be dead and hadn't been seen in some hundred years? Search for Bubbles' father? See above. Go back to the guild... and what?

Lydia's words replayed in his mind. _'Live. Love. Enjoy.'_ The only thing that came to Natsu's mind when he heard the word _enjoy_ was...

"What are you blushing for?"

Natsu averted his eyes. "Um..."

In an amused tone, Gray said, "You're a pervert."

"Says the one who pinned me against a wall in the middle of the Magic Council! I bet you would've been prepared to fuck me right there."

"I have no lube with me, so no, I wasn't."

They stared at each other for a few heartbeats, their eyes communicating silently, checking for hesitance or insecurity, but Natsu found nothing alike in Gray's icy blue orbs. Quite the opposite—Gray was apparently trying to eye-fuck him, and Natsu couldn't deny the effect it had on his body.

Gray leaned forward, whispering sensually into Natsu's ear, "What do you think, do they have any love hotels in Era?"

It was hard to breathe evenly as Natsu's mind helpfully provided images of them in different sex positions on a comfortable looking bed—a bed in which countless other couples had already had sex, in a room which probably reeked of sweat and cum and vaginal fluids.

Natsu scrunched up his nose. "No love hotel, please."

"Huh?"

"I have a sensitive nose, you know?"

"Oh! Right. Then, what else do you want to do?"

"I want our first time to be in your bed. It's huge, comfortable, and it smells _wonderful_."

The blush that rose in Gray's cheeks was just too adorable.

"You mean, _today_? We'd have to take the train again..."

It was true that Natsu's stomach already churned at the mere thought of taking the train, but the reward would make it worth the pain.

"Yeah, I know. Come on, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos & a comment :) Any kind of feedback is highly appreciated!


	13. Day 7 Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter again, yay!
> 
> So much smut ahead~
> 
> Note: The one who bottoms always cleans his colon before sex (with an enema or otherwise, whatever you prefer), I just don't always include this information in the text for obvious reasons.

They'd been afraid to meet somebody of their guild at the train station or on the way to Gray's flat, but their fears turned out to be unfounded. They didn't even meet anyone familiar on their trip to town to buy take-out food.

They clumsily ate on their way back, not wanting to waste precious time. Natsu dropped the crumpled foils and pulled Gray towards the bedroom as soon as the entrance door clicked shut, taking off his sandals on the way.

" _That_ eager, huh?" Gray teased with a lewd smile as he was thrown onto the soft mattress.

"You made me horny with all your _subtle_ touches on the way, bastard. Now pay for it."

His original plan to throw himself on top of Gray and get started right away was interrupted by Gray shoving his shoes into Natsu's direction.

"Since you didn't leave me the chance to remove them and I don't want to dirty my bed with mud, take them off."

"As you wish, my princess."

Gray growled and tried to kick Natsu, but he should've known that Natsu's reflexes were too good for that. He caught Gray's legs in an iron grip and didn't let go before both, shoes and socks were doffed.

A second later found Natsu on top of Gray, staring hungrily into his eyes. He didn't give Gray time to prepare before he leaned down to suck at the crook of Gray's neck, savoring the salty taste of dried sweat, mixed with Gray's very own flavor.

"Woah, Natsu. Wait. I'm sure that tastes horrible. How about we take a shower before this?"

But instead of releasing Gray's skin, Natsu only sucked harder, with the intent of leaving a love bite.

"Oy, what're you doing there?"

That only prompted Natsu to suck harder.

"Y-you... hey, that tickles. Stop it!"

But he didn't stop.

"If you continue like this, you're gonna—"

Natsu released Gray's skin with a wet _plop_ , noting with satisfaction that the spot was dark red. "—leave a love bite, huh? Yeah, I did."

"Idiot."

"Awww, come on, don't you want to be marked by me?"

Gray turned his head in a poor attempt to hide his blush, muttering an 'as if' under his breath.

_'His blush is so adorable...'_

Leaning down, Natsu nudged his nose against Gray's cheek while whispering, "You're right. Let's take a shower first. I'm pretty _sticky_ from earlier."

Gray's blush intensified, and he kicked Natsu off the bed, not looking back as he made for the bathroom.

Taking a shower together turned out to be a tricky business—neither could keep his hands to himself, so they ended up groping each other several times, only to remind themselves that they should stop, that they would get to this later.

Just as they washed the last bit of soap off their bodies, Gray's doorbell rang. They stared at each other in a moment of confusion, but then it dawned on Natsu—they'd forgotten about Jellal and the fact that he couldn't see them through the frosted glass.

"It's probably the old lady that lives two stories under you... Jellal probably sent her to check on you."

Gray rolled his eyes, but when another ring resounded, he quickly toweled himself down, tied the towel around his hips and went to the door. Natsu found his suspicion confirmed when Gray shouted that he was alright and that there was no need to worry.

If they didn't do anything, Jellal would probably be watching them having sex... Maybe not the whole time, but he'd surely check on them from time to time. Gray would _love_ the idea of being watched. However, Natsu didn't want _anyone_ to see them, at least not when they had penetrative sex for the first time... It somehow felt too intimate, more so than a blowjob or 'dry humping'. Their bodies would be truly joined for the first time, and Natsu was greedy. He wanted to have Gray only to himself, wanted to be the only one to see the faces Gray made when he was being entered like that. Or when he was the one to enter Natsu.

They hadn't decided on positions yet. Natsu would like to do both, alternate between being top and bottom, and he'd like to keep it that way. Given that Gray wanted that, too.

"Oy, what're you waiting for? Can't dry yourself when I'm not here?"

Gray stood in the bathroom door, the towel so loose around his hips that it would drop any second. Natsu clicked his tongue, surrounded himself in flames, and when he dissipated them a second later, he was completely dried. The astonished look Gray gave him was priceless.

"Don't worry; I won't burn down the house. I'm always doing it like this."

 _'... unless I'm not feeling well, like last time we took a shower together,'_ he added in his thoughts, his mood darkening instantly.

"Natsu? You look sad all of a sudden. What's wrong?"

Natsu shook his head, pushing the thought aside—it wasn't the time for worrying about things that couldn't be changed anyway.

"Let's not talk about it."

Gray eyed him warily, but when Natsu closed the distance between them and locked Gray in his arms, Gray's expression softened.

"Hey, I've been wondering... Do you want to be inside me or do you want to have me inside you?" Natsu asked.

"Straight down to business, huh? I'd like both, so you can decide."

"Alright, then I'd like to be on top this time... I thought we could switch if you want? Oh, and... I know you have a thing for people watching us... but I'd like to ask Jellal to give us some privacy. It's our first time after all, and I want you only to myself."

Gray brushed a stray bang out of Natsu's face and then leaned down to seal their lips in a slow and tender kiss.

Natsu couldn't seem to get enough of their kisses, and if it weren't for Gray pushing them apart resolutely after some minutes, they probably wouldn't have gotten down to business that day at all.

"You're starved for kisses, huh?"

"Well, we have years to make up for."

"We have years to make up for... not only when it comes to kissing."

And with that, Gray reached down to pull at his towel, loosened it even more until it dropped to the floor, pooling around his ankles. Then he thrust his hips against Natsu's, their half hard cocks rubbing against each other's.

"Mmmhhh... You're right. But you haven't answered yet."

"Yes, you can be on top, and yes, we can switch. I was kinda prepared to become a permanent top or a permanent bottom, but I like your idea way better. And about shutting Jellal out—I don't mind. I admit that the thought of being watched is extremely arousing for me, but I don't need it. I only want us to do what you're comfortable with, and if public—or semi-public—sex and being observed isn't something you enjoy, then we won't do it."

"Not saying I _never_ wanna do it... just... not the first time. I quite liked being overheard by Jellal and seen by Lucy, so yeah..."

The pervert grin on Gray's face spoke volumes, and Natsu was sure that if he didn't call Jellal right away, he wouldn't want to anymore. So he pushed Gray away and asked him to climb into bed and under the covers. Gray complied without hesitating. Meanwhile, Natsu wrapped a towel around his hips before opening the window.

"Hey, Jellal! No need to hide anymore! I know you're there. I have a request, so could you please come up here for a bit?"

Jellal stepped out of the shadow of a tree, scowling at Natsu, but still followed his request, entering the room through the window.

"You _knew_ I'm following you?"

Jellal let his gaze wander around Gray's bedroom, frowning at the sight of a shirtless Gray who had his blanket drawn just barely over his crotch.

"Yes. Err, look. Could you give us privacy for... umm, about an hour?"

Natsu checked his watch again to make sure they still had time, and yes, they had. It was still shortly after four p.m.

"You mean you knew all this time that I'm following you and _you still did what you did in the Magic Council?"_

Jellal looked seriously pissed. Oops.

"Errr... Gray has this kink—"

"Ohh no, you enjoyed it just as much, don't you try to put the blame on me now, flame brain!"

"Yeah, well, okay, _we_ have this kink, we enjoy—"

"Yes, _thank you very much_ , but I think I know what you're talking about even without your explanation. And now you want to spend some quality time alone, huh?"

"Well, yeah."

 _"Fine."_ Addressing Gray, he added, "But I need to see you at least once per hour to make sure you're alright. Preferably without having to see your private parts."

"Yessir." Gray mock-saluted.

Jellal rolled his eyes, lifted Natsu's left wrist, pointed at the watch, and said, "I'll be waiting outside without spying on you. Show me your face at five o'clock. If you haven't done so until five past five, I'll make sure to check on you."

Without waiting for an answer, Jellal took the quick way out—through the window. Natsu could hear him muttering, 'Just what did I do to deserve this...' as he hid behind the nearest tree.

"Sex under time pressure, huh?" Natsu mused as he closed the window and the curtains.

"Who says we need to be finished when I show him my face?" Gray asked with a sly smile.

Did he want to...?

"Jellal will probably hand your ass to you, now that he thinks you're doing it to mock him."

"My ass will be in _your_ hands from now on, though," Gray said with a wink.

"Damn right."

Natsu was naked and on the bed in no time, petting Gray like there was no tomorrow. The kisses and touches were needy and rough, degenerating into fights more often than not. They rolled over again and again, pinning each other to the bed to demonstrate dominance. It didn't take long until both were out of breath, rock-hard and rutting against the other in desperate need for friction.

Just when Natsu thought he couldn't take the teasing any longer, Gray was on top, so he reversed their positions in a swift movement, pinning Gray's wrists against the mattress.

He leaned down and whispered, "I want you. Now."

Gray let out a strangled moan. "Lube is in the second drawer."

The nightstand was just out of Natsu's reach, so he needed to shift slightly to retrieve the bottle. Conveniently, there was also a still closed pack of condoms, so Natsu grabbed it, unsure of whether Gray wanted to do it with or without. To Natsu's surprise, the bottle of lube was new.

Hovering over Gray's body, he asked, "Have you never... you know, fingered yourself?"

"I wanted you to be the first to enter there... And you?"

Heat crept into Natsu's cheeks as he admitted meekly, "I... might have... even put some other... err, objects inside..."

Gray's jaw dropped, his eyes glazing over with lust as his erection poked at Natsu's abdomen, leaving a wet spot of pre-cum behind. Okay, so this clearly aroused Gray.

Natsu brought their lips together in a feather-light kiss before he trailed down butterfly kisses along Gray's jaw, his throat, over his chest, and down his abdomen. When he reached Gray's crotch, he nibbled at the skin around the balls and the twitching cock, never once touching them until there was a thick thread of pre-cum connecting the tip to Gray's stomach.

"You're such a tease."

Natsu snuggled his cheek against Gray's hip, putting on a bold face as he said, "I know."

Then he shoved the bottle of lube into Gray's hands, asking him to open it. Just as Gray started to fumble with the cap, Natsu dipped his tongue into the slit of Gray's tip, licking off all the pre-cum like a cat enjoying her milk.

 _"Ahhh!_ Y-you... I th-thought you wanted me to o-open this..."

Natsu stopped his caressing only to say in an innocent tone, "I do. Is there a problem?" And then he dove back in, taking Gray's tip into his mouth, sucking with abandon.

"Ass—hhhole, _nnghh!"_

Smirking made it hard to keep sucking, so Natsu proceeded to lick up and down Gray's engorged shaft, reveling in the muffled moans this earned him.

It took Gray a solid minute to open the lube, but when he was finally done, he shoved it in Natsu's direction rather impatiently.

Preparing Gray was a delicate issue, seeing as he'd never been spread before. It took him a long time to get used to the first finger alone, even though Natsu used an excessive amount of lube to make it as comfortable as possible. After a while, he aimed for Gray's prostate, and the first time he stroked it, Gray screamed in pleasure, but then told him to take it slow, that it was a 'strange' feeling. So Natsu proceeded with caution, rubbing carefully around the prostate, making sure not to touch it directly. From that point on, it didn't take long for Gray to turn into a squirming, moaning mess, begging for more.

Natsu applied more lube, and when his second finger was buried deep inside Gray's ass, Gray asked him in a very shaky voice to tell him of the _objects_ he'd used. It was delightful to watch Gray's reactions as Natsu told him _exactly_ what he'd done to himself already. How he slowly prepared himself with his fingers, how he stimulated his prostate and then slowly proceeded to pleasure himself with dildos, starting out with straight, thin ones. By the time Natsu reached the point where he'd started using curved dildos and vibrators which could stimulate the prostate with deadly precision, he had four fingers buried inside.

Gray begged for prostate stimulation, which Natsu gave readily. The moans that filled the room soon grew erratic, and then Gray's muscles spasmed, squeezing Natsu's fingers tightly.

 _"Ahhhhh,_ what— _aaahh, god, nnngghhh_ , Nah—Nahhtsu, what——ssooo good, ah!—What's th-this, i-it feels so— _gaaaaah_ —so incre— _ahhhhh_ —dibly good..."

"Congratulations, that was your first prostate orgasm," Natsu said with a sly smirk, just barely holding back the strong urge to stroke himself.

Still out of breath, Gray protested, "B-but I didn't—"

"Cum? Well, this is called a 'dry orgasm', and it's usually even more powerful than a normal one."

"Sh-shit. Yeah, I k-kinda no-noticed. Sorry. I didn't w-want this t-to end s-so quickly..."

"Why apologize? This isn't over yet. You're still sensitive, see?" Natsu wiggled his fingers, brushing Gray's prostate mercilessly.

"F-fuck, _ahhh_ , this feels... amazing! L-like—ahhh—I could c-come a-again..."

"Yeah, there's no refractory period to prostate orgasms. You can come multiple times until you ejaculate."

"A-and _you're_ calling m- _me—ahhh_ —a p-pervert?"

"Well, gotta know what feels good, right?"

If somebody would've told Natsu a few days ago that he'd be that confident in bed with Gray, he wouldn't have believed it. This was what seeing Gray in the throes of pleasure did to him. Knowing that _he_ was the one who caused Gray pleasure made him even smugger.

Natsu delivered two more prostate orgasms to Gray in short succession, each of them more powerful and vocal than the one before. It was in the middle of the third one that a stone hit Gray's window. When Natsu looked at his watch, he flinched and redrew his fingers at once, urging Gray on to show Jellal that he was fine.

Gray needed Natsu's support to make it to the window successfully. He waved at Jellal and made a 'peace' sign, but received only an eye-roll and a dismissive gesture as a reply.

Natsu threw him back onto the bed and climbed atop, brushing their cocks together in a desperate attempt to ease his raging arousal, but the contact only made matters worse.

"Do me already... please."

"With pleasure. Do you want me to use a condom?"

A bright blush rose on Gray's cheeks when he said, "I'm clean."

"Me, too! D-does that mean...?"

"Yeah. I want to _feel_ you. Come on."

Natsu needed to remind himself to take it _slow_ and be _careful_. He aligned his cock with the rim of Gray's ass but then thought that he better apply some more lube just in case. He slicked up his member, and when he next touched Gray's entrance, he slipped inside without resistance, encouraged by Gray's heels digging into his ass cheeks.

It was probably advisable to give Gray time to adjust since his cock would reach way farther inside than his fingers ever could, so Natsu stopped when he was halfway in.

 _"D-don't stop._ You've prepared me m-more than enough; s-so give me all you have."

"Sure? _Hahhh_... I don't know if I'll be able... to hold back any longer..."

Gray's heels dug even deeper into Natsu's ass, making it near impossible not to push all the way inside.

"Y-yes, please, _ah_ , f-fuck me _hard_ , I need it, _now!"_

That was it. All of Natsu's doubts and inhibitions dispersed at once, and he rammed inside as deeply as he could. It was a good thing he'd used that much lube because this way the friction was reduced to a minimum—he would've come straight away otherwise, given his extremely horny state. He humped Gray without restraint, as fast as he could and always pulling out until only his tip remained inside. Sometimes he even slipped out completely—much to Gray's pleasure, if the way he always moaned twice as loud when Natsu re-entered him was any indication.

Natsu attempted dirty talking, but it was no use—all that came out of his mouth were moans, hitched breaths, and unidentifiable syllables. He managed to shout Gray's name without interruption once or twice, but that was it.

The heat, the friction, Gray's aroused scent, his hands desperately clutching at Natsu's shoulders, the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin—it all amounted to intense pleasure. So intense that Natsu quickly lost all control over his body and came violently inside Gray with a strangled moan, and then blacked out for a moment, slumping against Gray's body.

When he came to, he found Gray caressing his sweaty hair with the one hand, and the other stroking up and down his equally sweaty back.

"That sure was... powerful. I could... feel every spurt... very clearly..."

"Yeah... sorry... that was... short."

A glance at his watch showed him just _how_ short it had been—no more than two minutes. _'Shit. I'm a total failure... And I completely neglected his needs at that...'_

With great effort, Natsu pushed himself partly upward, so that he could look Gray in the eye, surprised to be met with a lustful gaze instead of a disappointed one.

"You're so fucking sexy, Natsu... That was mind-blowing."

"But... I came so quick—"

"Honestly, I gave you ten seconds, considering the pace. I still would've loved it. You lasted so much longer than I expected. I enjoyed every second of it."

"You didn't come."

"Not _yet."_

Gray wiggled his eyebrow suggestively, and Natsu didn't need to be told twice—he reached between their bodies and took Gray's cock in hand, careful to keep his thankfully still hard cock buried in Gray's ass. Natsu pumped Gray in a relentless rhythm, bringing him closer quickly. It became increasingly difficult for Natsu not to slip out, but he tried his best to follow the skittish movements of Gray's hips, which ended up with him thrusting irregularly into Gray.

"Ahh, s-so good, more, do that— _ahhhh_ —again!"

Natsu tried to repeat what he'd done, but it was near impossible with Gray squirming and writhing. So he kept stroking Gray's shaft, going with the twist on the upstroke because that seemed to be something Gray enjoyed. Natsu's post-orgasmic hypersensitivity started to get harder to ignore, and he thought that if Gray wouldn't come soon, he would have to pull out.

"I'm... c-co—ah, ahhhh, _Natsu!"_

The rest was a jumble of grunts and moans, and Natsu couldn't take his eyes off Gray's blissful expression, even when the underside of his chin was hit with a jet of warm cum.

Gray needed a long time to calm down his breath, and it was no wonder—what he'd experienced must have been a very powerful orgasm, seeing as he'd had three dry orgasms before. There had to be a lot of cum, but Natsu still couldn't take his eyes off Gray's flushed face. _'So sexy.'_

"That was _amazing_. Wow. I don't think I ever came _that_ hard in my life..."

Natsu couldn't help the cocky grin that sneaked its way onto his features. "Well, you've definitely missed out so far if you never had a prostate orgasm. Though I'm amazed you were able to get one on the first try. I needed a year until I finally found the right technique and toy to get me there."

 _"Holy shit! A year?_ I'm sure I would've given up after a week."

"Well, luckily I'm more determined than that."

"You're a pervert, is what you are."

"We're a perfect match then."

Gray's expression went soft, and only then Natsu realized just how sappy his last statement was. Sappy, but true nonetheless.

Speaking of 'soft'...

"My penis is shrinking... do you have tissues somewhere close? I'll spoil your beloved bed otherwise."

The glare Gray regarded him with made his hair stand on end, but there was no helping it—he would slip out any second, and if Gray didn't want to dirty his bed, then cum was surely included, right?

"First Drawer," Gray snarled.

Natsu just barely reached it, fetched some tissues and draped them under Gray's ass. As if on cue, Natsu's soft cock slid out, trailing beads of cum behind.

They both cleaned up quickly without uttering another word, and only when Gray wiped his stomach and chest did Natsu notice that his assumption had been right—there was a lot of cum.

When they were back on the bed, Gray's mood was still sour. Natsu tried to appease him with a cuddle, but that didn't work. Gray _did_ reciprocate, but he still scowled.

Natsu couldn't help but smile tenderly, because Gray being miffed over a ruined romantic moment was just too cute. Natsu snuggled closer, enjoying their nakedness and the direct skin contact wherever their bodies touched.

"Gray," he whispered.

He brushed a dark strand aside, letting the back of his hand trail softly over Gray's forehead, down over his cheek until he reached Gray's lips. The internal battle going on in Gray's head showed clearly on his face as he tried and failed to suppress a fond smile.

"You're an idiot."

There was no bite to the insult at all; it rather sounded like a term of endearment to Natsu's ears, which was why he smiled back, removing his hand from Gray's lips.

"Maybe. But I'm _your_ idiot."

And with that, Natsu leaned down to seal their lips in a sensual and slow kiss. Gray seemed to have forgotten his anger by the time they parted, with him chasing after Natsu and letting out a frustrated growl when he couldn't reach him.

Natsu had tried to ignore what was going to happen very soon, but he couldn't anymore. A glance at his watch told him that Gray had only an hour and a half left to live. Although there was still the possibility that penetrative sex would count as 'bond' and thus Gray wouldn't have to die, but how probable was that? A sigh escaped Natsu's lips, earning him a worried and questioning look from Gray.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing..."

"Its _not_ nothing. Are you thinking about my death?"

Natsu buried his head in the crook of Gray's neck, and then nodded. Gray's grip around him grew stronger, and his fingers rubbed soothingly over Natsu's shoulderblades.

"I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain... It must be horrible... I can't even begin to imagine what _I_ would do in such a situation... I would've probably lost my mind by now."

"I already lost my mind... on the first day... I snapped, and avenged your death. I killed the one who... did that to you. And I didn't even feel sorry. It felt like... he'd robbed my life of meaning. I wouldn't have given a damn if they'd locked me away for what I'd done..."

By the time he finished talking, tears dripped from the tip of his nose rapidly, wetting the pillow and Gray's hair.

The pressure of Gray's hands on Natsu's back increased to the point where it rather felt like Gray was afraid Natsu would vanish if he didn't hold on to him. It felt so nice being held like that—strongly, but not to the point where it hurt or cut off his airway. Natsu felt loved and cared for, and in that moment he felt deep gratitude to Gray for not judging him, for always being there, for all the nice words and gestures, and also for bringing him back down to earth when he'd snapped earlier.

"When are you writing those diary entries?"

"I'm supposed to write them... after... a-after y-you..."

"Shhh... What do you mean, _supposed to_?"

"Ultear always l-leaves me an hour t-to write... b-before she turns back time."

"Are you telling me that you always spend an _hour_ next to my dead bo—ah, _shit_ , Natsu, calm down, oh shit, I'm sorry, hey, it's alright, I'm here."

 _Nothing_ was alright. Natsu couldn't breathe, couldn't stop trembling, couldn't stop the choked sounds that broke free from his throat, couldn't stop _panicking_.

_'Gray will die again, his heart will stop, he'll forget, and then he'll die again, and he'll forget again, and die again, and again, and again, and I can't do anything, I couldn't do anything six times already, why would—'_

"NATSU! Focus on my breath. Breathe in time with me, slowly. In—" he took a deep and slow breath— "and out." Gray exhaled, and just then Natsu noticed that he'd been turned at some point since he was on his back, with his hand pressed against Gray's chest.

Natsu concentrated on the lifting and lowering of Gray's chest, trying to accomodate his own breathing rhythm. It took some time, but with Gray's constant coaxing and the reassuring eye contact that never broke once in the process, Natsu eventually calmed down.

Gray let out a relieved sigh. "You scared me."

"I... um. Sorry..."

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. How about we write a bit?"

Not a bad idea. It was probably the best way to distract Natsu and keep him from glancing at his watch every thirty seconds. Well, a second round would have the same effect, but Natsu didn't feel like it at all, so he was glad that Gray didn't even consider it.

Natsu nodded, and they prepared everything they needed: A pen, some pillows against the headboard, and boxers (they didn't want to write naked). Gray hid Natsu's watch after setting an alarm for the time he'd next need to show himself to Jellal.

They spent the rest of the day writing and talking, collecting ideas. Gray requested Natsu to write down all of their sexual activities somehow. He suggested putting one star in the text for anything non-penetrative and two stars for penetrative sex, with the additional information of who topped in a small bracket behind it. His explanation was that he didn't want Natsu to forget these things. That whenever he read the entries that were usually filled with negative memories, there was at least something that would remind him of all the good things that happened. Like a light in the darkness, one that would hopefully give him hope—a rope to hold on to when he felt like drowning.

Drowning... A very accurate description of the feeling Natsu had when Gray's body suddenly convulsed. A second earlier he'd been snuggling comfortably against Natsu's side, stroking lazily over taut muscles, and just like that, his heart stopped beating again.

How had Natsu ever thought that getting intimate would make any difference?

Being next to Gray's corpse made him sick, but he didn't have the energy to get up and vomit into the toilet, so he ended up puking on Gray's floor—but what did it matter anyway?

Jellal broke into Gray's window a few minutes later, seeing as Gray was overdue. He was shocked to find Gray's dead body lying on the bed, heaved him onto the floor, and tried to perform CPR, but was interrupted by Natsu.

In a croaky voice, Natsu said, "It's useless. Believe me. Just call Ultear and get it over with. Tell her to turn back time immediately. I don't need her additional hour. It's torture to me, and I can't write in that time anyway, so please ask her never to do that again."

Jellal deadpanned. He looked like he wanted to argue, but something in Natsu's face made him shut up and follow the instructions.

Natsu didn't dare look at Gray's corpse as he held his stomach, waiting for his vision to black out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dry orgasms / prostate orgasms really exist. I know there is nearly no fanfic out there in which a prostate orgasm is ever written that way—they nearly always have a 'normal' orgasm (with ejaculate). That _can_ happen, yes. But in reality prostate stimulation is much more likely to end in a dry orgasm, unless the penis is also stimulated (which will most probably lead to a normal orgasm).
> 
> It's different for every man, but all the men who already experienced one (or several) agree that it's more powerful than a normal orgasm (one site even gave a number: '33% more intense', but how can you even measure such a thing?). Some succeed right away (having a helping hand generally increases the chances), some need several tries and muscle training, some even months (or years), and many just give up along the way. The choice of the correct toy (which can differ greatly from one individual to another) is important (prostate orgasm by fingering oneself is very exhausting and rare). The amount of cum released with the next 'normal' orgasm increases with every dry orgasm.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy all the other fics, but I enjoy writing realistic scenes more (and let's be honest, multiple (dry) orgasms sound way more fun than ejaculating by prostate stimulation)
> 
> I've visited tons of sites to get all this information, but the post that started it all was this: [Reference Post](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/post/153443246022/things-i-have-learned-about-prostate-orgasms-this).
> 
> If you're interested to learn more, please google some of the above used terms or just ask me directly :)
> 
> Just been wondering: Did anyone notice that I’m writing this whole fic (only the main fic, not the additions) out of Natsu’s POV? All the information given in the text is what Natsu sees/hears/etc. If there’s something Natsu can’t possibly know, then it’s not in the text. Like the fact that Mirajane has a note. _Anyone?_
> 
> **Please proceed to Diary Entry (Day7) and Mirajane's notes (Day 7)**


	14. Day 8 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third chapter of the podfic will probably be released today, so keep an eye out on [YuuriVoice's blog](http://yuurivoice.tumblr.com/) if you're interested!

When Natsu awoke, he needed to make a run for the toilet immediately. He barely made it there before puking.

Going through his morning routine proved to be difficult as his body wouldn't stop trembling. It took him twice as long to take a shower, but at least that left him enough time to come up with a plan for the day.

Since the theory that having sex would prevent Gray's death wasn't correct, it would be advisable to figure out what else 'forming a bond' could mean, just like Gray suggested. Natsu was sure that if he threw the question to everybody around, then he'd probably only receive one or two different answers and a big discussion afterwards, so it would be better to ask everyone privately.

He also needed to think of a good excuse to ask them such a question. Would it be odd if he said that he was just curious? Or better, he could say that he'd made a bet with Happy, that they guessed their answers and would get a point for each correct guess. Whoever won would have to do the winner a favor, no matter what it was. Yeah, that sounded great. The others would think that Happy was trying to get more fish out of Natsu, knowing full well that he wasn't as dumb as Natsu when it came to relationships and feelings, and that he could probably win easily.

And why only pretend? He could challenge Happy _for real._

By the time he was fully dressed, Natsu was in high spirits again, his worries and nausea forgotten.

***

Happy liked the idea of the bet very much. He surely thought that his victory was guaranteed, and he was probably right. With a huge grin on his face, he listened to Natsu's guesses.

The question they agreed upon was the following: 'What do you consider a strong bond between lovers?'

"Hmmm, let's see. Gajeel will probably say 'eating iron created by Levy'. Erza... 'eating strawberry cake'? Lucy will probably say 'spend a romantic evening together where one reads out a book to the other'. Or better yet, a candlelight dinner!"

"You have to decide on one."

"Then I'll take the candlelight dinner for Lucy. Wendy... probably a kiss."

Natsu knew that he was probably far off, and the confident grin on Happy's face as he listened to the rest of his guesses didn't do much to shatter that idea. Natsu purposely omitted Gray until the very end, as Gray was the only one he didn't want to be wrong about, and yet he had no clue what it could be. What would come to Gray's mind first when he asked for a 'strong bond between lovers'?

Natsu was disappointed in himself that even though they'd confessed so many times and gotten intimate already, he didn't know what Gray's heart truly desired, other than being close to the one he loved. He'd been talking about a life together with Natsu and Happy, so it had to be that, right?

"Gray will probably say 'moving in together'."

Happy nodded. His announcement that he thought _everybody_ would say 'marriage' staggered Natsu. The option of marriage hadn't even crossed his mind.

Natsu nearly stumbled over his feet when the realization of what this theory would entail sunk in. Marry Gray? How the _hell_ was he supposed to realize that? He had a timespan of exactly twelve hours until Gray lost his memories again. How the _fuck_ was he supposed to go from being rivals to getting married within _twelve hours_?

More importantly, was Natsu even ready for such a thing? If by some miracle he managed to get Gray to marry him, and the marriage ended up saving Gray's life, would Natsu be ready to lead a life as Gray's _husband_? He'd never seriously thought about getting married. He was still nineteen, for god's sake! People didn't think about marriage at such a young age, did they?

However, Natsu was sure of one thing: He wanted to spend his life with Gray by his side, and nobody else. Then what harm could a marriage do? A ceremony and a formal recognition of the fact that they belonged to each other wouldn't change their feelings, after all.

"Natsu? Everything alright? Worried that you'll lose?"

"No way! Let's do this!"

***

It turned out that Happy's guess had been a very clever one, since he got almost fifty percent—mostly because of the girls—right, which earned him a decisive victory. The only time Natsu guessed accurately was when Erza answered that 'eating a strawberry cake together' was the first thing that came to her mind.

The only one Natsu hadn't asked yet was Gray, who was still unaware of what was going on around him. Natsu had kept the whole thing as subtle as possible, keeping his voice low and such. Truth be told, he was anxious. Because whatever Gray would answer, Natsu was almost a hundred percent sure that he was going to be determined to make it happen.

So, when he flopped down opposite of Gray, he tried real hard to keep his nervousness in check. Gray eyed him warily through many seconds of tense silence. Finally, he averted his gaze and resumed playing with his glass of water.

Natsu cleared his throat. "I have a bet with Happy. We guessed the answers of all our friends to a certain question, and the one whose guesses turn out to be more accurate wins."

Gray lifted his eyebrows. "Oh? Let's hear it then."

"What do you consider a strong bond... between lovers?"

"What kind of dumb question is that? The strongest bond between lovers is obviously marriage."

Natsu just gaped at Gray, unable to process the answer. He ignored Happy's wide grin in favor of dwelling on his spinning thoughts.

_'Dumb... Obviously... Is he ready to get married? Has he thought about it?'_

His curiosity got the better of him, and before he could think about his wording, he blurted out, "Do you want to get married?"

Gray jumped to his feet, letting out a startled _"what the hell?"_ and staring at Natsu with his mouth wide open.

Why did he react that harshly when all Natsu wanted to know was if Gray would want to get married someday? _Gray_ had been the one to bring up marriage in the first place, so why was he so shocked when being asked another question on the topic?

Happy shoved Natsu's arm and regarded him with a suggestive wink. "You're not wasting time, are you? Well, good luck." With that, he flew off towards the bar, where a red-faced Wendy was trying to distract Carla and Mirajane.

What had he done wrong? Gray was clearly expecting an answer, but what should he say?

_'I only asked him if he wants to get married. I mentioned neither a time nor a partner, so why is he freaking out? Unless... wait. WAIT. Oh shit. Oh my god. No, no, nonono!'_

Had he just accidentally _proposed_ to Gray? This couldn't be true!

However, on second thought, there was nothing wrong with marrying Gray. _After they spent some years in a stable relationship and both wanted to take things to the next level._

_'Shit. What should I do?'_

Gray still stood there, growing more and more baffled as the seconds ticked by. Looking around, Natsu noticed that they held the attention of nearly all their friends. As much as Natsu loved public displays of affection, and as much as he didn't mind letting their guild mates in on their relationship, _this_ was off limits. So, he grabbed Gray's wrist and dragged him out of the guild, ignoring his protests.

They'd just closed the door when a furious Lucy walked up to them. "Which of you sneaked into my apartment _while I was taking a shower?_ And what's the meaning of this?"

She raised the snippet for Natsu and Gray to see, and Natsu was startled when he recognized the text Gray had written on a torn-out piece of Natsu's diary the previous time. He would have to look into that, too, but right then with his mind already reeling he just wasn't capable of thinking about yet another issue.

"I'll explain everything later, I promise, so could you please give us some privacy right now?"

Lucy's eyes widened, but then she took in Natsu's hand around Gray's wrist, blushed, nodded, and entered the guild.

Gray shouted, "What the _hell_ is this about? That was my handwriting, but I don't recall writing anything like that. And you're behaving strangely."

Natsu bit his lip. "Let's go somewhere more private. I'll explain."

Gray nodded, and Natsu let go of his hand, leading him to the backside of the guild hall.

His thoughts were in total disarray, and when he tried to figure out a way to explain the current situation to Gray without having to include the information of his death, he came up empty.

Plus, Gray should have all the details before he decided on something important like their _wedding_.

Natsu took a deep breath, mentally apologized to Gray for putting him through this yet again, and then told Gray everything, from the very beginning until the current day. It took him nearly an hour to explain the whole thing and answer Gray's questions. His nerves were raw by the end—the memories were just too painful. Gray holding him close during the last half was soothing, but it didn't make the pain go away completely.

"So... you want us to marry because you think that would prevent my death?"

"I'm... not sure about that, to be honest. I mean, I've never thought about getting married before today. It's a huge step, one I'd only be willing to take after years of being a couple. Well, under normal circumstances at least. If it can save your life, I'd do anything, including this. But we don't _know_ if it can save you... it's just a guess."

Gray tightened his grip around Natsu and let some moments of silence pass by before he answered.

"I honestly don't know what to do. If the assumption turns out to be correct, then I'll live and we're married at the age of nineteen. I'm not sure what to think of that. If it turns out to be wrong, I'll die on the day we marry, everyone but you will forget it ever happened, and you'll probably go through much more pain than you already are."

Gray sighed, and then added in a much lower voice, "And I'm afraid you'll never want to get married again because you're traumatized..."

Natsu hadn't thought about any of the things Gray just said. He wasn't usually one for thinking about consequences of his actions, but in this case, he really should. A wedding would change their lives, regardless of the outcome, because Gray was right. There was no way Natsu wouldn't be affected by it if the assumption turned out to be wrong. He couldn't even begin to imagine how painful it must be to have his _husband_ die in his arms.

A shudder ran through his body, and as a reaction, Gray ran soothing circles over his shoulder blades.

"Natsu... I'm sorry, but I'd prefer to search for another solution. I love you, and I don't want to fuck this up. I know it's already messed up because I don't even remember the first time we kissed or had sex, and I know that _you're_ already scarred... For one, I don't believe in this theory, and two, I don't want to take the risk. If I _knew_ that it would work, I'd do it."

Natsu pushed Gray away so that they could look each other in the eyes. Gray's brows were tense, yet there was an understanding softness in his eyes. This wasn't easy for him. And Natsu knew that what he was going to say wasn't fair, but he couldn't suppress the thought.

"Don't you care that you could possibly end my suffering if you just accepted?"

Gray took a step back, looking shocked, but also angry.

"You know that's not true, and you can't guilt-trip me into marrying you."

"I'm not _guilt-tripping_ you, I'm just saying that it's an option, and it _could_ work!"

Maybe Natsu was letting himself being deluded by the possibility, however low it might be, of saving Gray's life with this, but right then he didn't care. That Gray absolutely refused to consider it unless it was proven to work made him furious.

Because what was there to lose, really? Them being married at the young age of nineteen... well, who cared? They loved each other, and Natsu was sure they'd figure things out. It wasn't like the fact that they were legally married would change their relationship, right? If it didn't prevent Gray's death, so what? Natsu was already suffering as it was.

"Whatever you're thinking right now, you need to knock it off."

_"Why?_ Why can't we just try, and if it doesn't work, you'll forget anywa—"

"Haven't you listened to what I said? I don't _want_ to get married because of a theory that doesn't sound convincing at all!"

"How is it not convincing? The prophecy says we need to 'form a bond', and half the guild said that the first thing that came to their mind when hearing of a 'bond' was marrying. Even you said the same thing."

"I recall you asking me for a 'strong bond between lovers', not just a 'bond'. A bond could be anything, from laughing together to buying a friendship bracelet to kissing or holding hands. The options are endless, and they don't need to be romantic at all. Or did Lydia say it was a romantic bond?"

"N-no..."

Gray let out a sigh, took a tentative step forwards, and put his hands on Natsu's shoulders.

"I can understand that you're desperate and already at a point where you're willing to try anything as long as it seems like it could help. That's exactly why you should rely on me now. Organizing and executing a wedding usually takes months, and we have half a day. Even if I accepted right away without any further explanation, we'd still have to at least buy rings. We'd have to get an appointment _for the same day_ with the marriage registrar, or convince Makarov to—"

"Alright, alright, it would probably be very difficult to arrange, I get it. But aren't you just searching for excuses?"

Gray's brow tensed. "I'm not. I'm trying to explain why I think that this assumption isn't correct. You're free to believe me or not, but you have to stop what you're doing. I know you can make it happen anyway if you really want to. You could just invent something and make me marry you because I believe your lies. But that wouldn't be a loving th—"

Natsu slapped Gray's hands away and glared at him, because _what the hell?_

"Do you _really_ think I'd ever do such a thing? Just _how_ low is your opinion of me?"

"This has nothing to do with my opinion of you. You're growing more and more desperate, and I think I know best what somebody who thinks he has nothing to lose can cause..."

Natsu gritted his teeth. "Don't you compare your tragic childhood to this situation! Those two are totally unrelated!"

Gray let out an unhappy sigh and hung his head low.

"Sorry... I'm just... worried about you. About your... state of mind."

"If you're that worried, you would try to help me and just say y—ugh!"

Gray's fist hit hard, causing Natsu to sink to his knees while clutching his stomach. It wasn't only the fist that had hit him hard, but with it also the realization of what he'd been about to say, about to do. Just a few minutes ago, he'd said that he wasn't trying to guilt-trip Gray...

_'And here I am, doing exactly that... Shit!'_

"You're overstepping boundaries. I said 'no'. I know I _could_ be wrong, and if I am, I'll hate myself for it forever, for putting you through even more pain. But right now, I'm convinced that my decision is the right one, and you have to respect that."

Why was Gray still that calm? He had every right to freak out, yet there he was, only giving Natsu a punch, raising his voice a bit, but otherwise being calm and reasonable. How could he still think straight when he was supposed to be angry? Natsu deserved far more than a punch.

"Why... aren't you beating me into a pulp? I... was about to do something... bad."

"I don't beat up somebody who's not fighting back. If you feel the need to be punished for what you did, then stand, promise you won't bring up the issue again unless it's confirmed that it'll solve the problem, and kiss me."

Natsu's head bobbed up. "How is kissing you a punishment?"

The faint blush on Gray's face was just too adorable, and it brought out fond memories which overshadowed Natsu's gloomy thoughts for the moment.

"It's not a punishment per se, but it's something I want right now, and I thought I could just slip it in..."

There was no way Natsu could deny Gray his wish, so he got up and took a step forward.

"I won't bring it up again. Sorry."

Gray nodded approvingly, and then he tilted up Natsu's head so he could seal their lips. It was their first kiss of that day, and thus started out as a hesitant and careful one. Natsu let Gray take the lead, relaxing into the gentle touches that accompanied it. It took Gray a while to grow confident enough to poke his tongue at Natsu's lips, demanding to be let in. Natsu happily welcomed the intruder, and soon the kiss grew hot and needy, their hands roving all over each other's bodies.

When they parted, a string of saliva stretched out between them, which Gray hastily broke, looking flustered. The last time this happened, Gray had been flustered as well—was it something that embarrassed him?

"L-let's go back inside. We still owe Lucy an explanation," Gray muttered.

"No need to be that flustered. I've already seen you in all kinds of intimate situations."

"Sh-shut up! This is new to me."

The blush on Gray's face intensified, and Natsu couldn't resist.

"I've already heard you moaning, seen how your face looks like when you're experiencing sexual plea—"

"Yes, okay, _thank you_ for pointing that out! Now, how about we go back inside?"

Natsu only managed to wipe the smug grin off his face when they entered the guild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say that I'm proud of my AO3 audience (YOU)! Rewind has more hits on fanfiction.net (1k more!), yet AO3 is where I get far more comments (and regularly, on every chapter). I didn't get a _single_ comment on the last chapter on ffn!
> 
> I love you & thank you all for your support!


	15. Day 8 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote the line where Gray calls Natsu his 'prince', I remembered a fanart of the very talented artist [Ferbooche](http://ferbooche.tumblr.com/), so I asked for permission to use it as reference and I was granted permission :) Thus there's a link to the fanart in the text. The copied line that goes with the fanart is also used with permission.
> 
> The first four chapters of this fic are already available as podfic, recorded by [YuuriVoice](http://yuurivoice.tumblr.com/). Please check [them](http://chiyalawritesrewind.tumblr.com/post/156794363928/rewind-ch-4-yuurivoice-podfic) out, he's doing a damn good job recording them!

It turned out that Lucy had an accident when she noticed the edge of a paper sticking out of her pants pocket that hadn't been there before. She was so shocked that she slipped and banged her head against the edge of the shower cabin.

Both Natsu and Gray leaped up and asked her if she was alright, but she made a dismissive gesture, assuring them that Wendy already healed the bump and the headache.

Natsu ripped the paper out from her hands and gave it to Erza instead, asking her to keep it. If a paper in Lucy's pocket caused such a dangerous situation, then there was no way he'd allow it to repeat.

On second thought, Lucy's arrival at the guild had been much later than the other times, so Natsu asked some more questions.

Lucy didn't want to admit it at first, but apparently, she'd been knocked out, and then felt dizzy for a while.

Natsu narrowed his eyes, and then repeated and emphasized his request for the paper not to fall into Lucy's hands again. Erza saluted, promising to guard the paper with her life, and Lucy rolled her eyes at the ridiculous behavior of their friends, demanding to be let in on what was happening.

Was there really no way around this every time? It was getting annoying and it ate at his already raw nerves. He'd need to think of a solution for this later. But when Gray gave him a reassuring nod, he knew: He wasn't alone, and Gray would help out if he got stuck or if it was too much.

He waved Gajeel and Pantherlily to their table before he started his explanation, since it concerned them as well.

_'Here we go again. Grit your teeth and get to it...'_

***

Natsu's head seriously hurt. He didn't feel well at all despite Gray assisting him when it came to the difficult parts. All he wanted was to be alone with Gray, or maybe completely alone, and pray that this nightmare would be over soon. However, this conversation was important, so he endured it.

"You mean... the paper was in my pocket the previous time? And it stayed there... because of what? I thought Ultear enchanted the diary so that it'll return to its place on your bedside table when the day starts anew?"

"Yeah, well it looks like torn out pages won't be restored. That's the only explanation."

Lucy eyed him curiously, and Natsu could tell that she had questions. Questions he wasn't capable of answering. Sure, he could just call Ultear, but Natsu really didn't have the energy for that anymore.

_'Sleep... When was the last time I slept?'_

Realistically, Natsu knew that he couldn't lack sleep since the bodily constitution was restored when time turned back, or else he wouldn't have gotten his limbs back the first two times. But that didn't change the fact that he was really out of it, and not even Gray's hand gently squeezing his eased the feeling.

"Natsu?"

"Huh?"

Lucy waved a hand before his face and he noticed that he had the attention of everyone at the table. What had he missed?

"I said you must be tired of repeating your explanation every time. How about you let me rip out one or two pages of your diary and I'll write a text for myself? I'd deposit it somewhere in my flat—not in the bathroom, don't worry—where I'll definitely notice it in the morning. Then I could tell the others what's going on, and you could concentrate on finding a solution. What do you think?"

That was a very good idea indeed and would be a big relief. Instead of answering, Natsu fetched the diary from his rucksack, unlocked it, and pushed it over to Lucy.

She decided to take the last two pages of the diary, saying that it should be enough to write down the important information. Natsu trusted her to know what she was doing, and let his attention drift, slumping down against Gray's side.

He was so _tired._ Couldn't he just take a break from all the shit that was happening?

Gray turned his body sideways, wrapped his arms around Natsu's torso, and pulled him into a comfortable reclining position with his back pressed against Gray's front. Natsu let out a soft hum, his eyes fluttering shut.

However, his thoughts were in total disarray. No matter how much he tried to make them stop, it was useless. Faces, figures, blood, laughter, blades, his diary, screaming...

Natsu tried his best to focus on one thought, to push the others aside, to think of something logically, but it was impossible. Nothing made sense, and every coherent thought slipped through his fingers, no matter how much he tried to cling to it.

It was driving him up the wall! He was so tired, yet his brain wouldn't shut up and let him relax. It was comfortable, leaning against Gray's chest, being surrounded by his warmth and smell, so why couldn't he just rest for a bit?

An icy hand on his forehead startled him, prompting him to open his eyes again.

"You're hyperventilating. Please breathe in time with me," Gray whispered. He took deep and slow breaths with his mouth right next to Natsu's ear, so that the stream of air brushed Natsu's earlobe.

Natsu hadn't noticed his heart speeding up or that his breath had turned into abrupt pants, but when he tried to focus on Gray's breath, dizziness overcame him. For a moment, he thought that he was about to faint, but with his breath evening out the feeling vanished. Pity. He would've welcomed being unconscious.

The others didn't notice what was going on with him—they were bent over Lucy's notes, chatting, talking about what information she needed to include in her writing.

"Do you want me to take you somewhere private?" Gray breathed into Natsu's ear, making him shudder.

He nodded, thankful for Gray's concern.

Every single one of their guild mates looked worried when Gray announced that Natsu wasn't feeling well and that he'd take him to his flat, maybe let him sleep a bit. Wendy offered to take a look at his bodily condition, but Natsu refused. He knew that there was nothing physically wrong with him, that it was all in his head.

Gray put the diary back into Natsu's rucksack and asked Lucy if she wanted them to drop by again later, but she refused, saying that she would come to Gray's apartment when she needed something.

Gajeel asked Natsu if there was anything he should take care of, and Natsu advised him to try and be friendly, especially to Bubbles. Gajeel rolled his eyes in annoyance but promised that he would give his best.

When Gray and Natsu left the guild, everyone looked uneasy. Happy in particular appeared like he wanted to follow, but the two of them had requested he stay behind, to give them privacy. Gray had promised to take good care of Natsu, and Natsu wanted nothing more than to rest. The fewer people around him, the better.

The fresh air in his lungs and the sunlight on his skin made him feel slightly more at ease, but it also increased his exhaustion tangibly.

***

Natsu thought he would fall asleep as soon as he was on Gray's bed, but it wasn't that easy. Gray wrapped him up in his arms; his scent and warmth were soothing, but Natsu's spinning thoughts didn't leave him alone. His mood worsened bit by bit, until he couldn't stand lying passively in Gray's arms anymore. He felt restless, yet tired at the same time. How was that even possible?

There were two voices in his head battling for dominance, one of them shouting, _'I can't rest, I have to find a way to save Gray!'_ , and the other one demanding, _'For fuck's sake, just leave me alone, I can't take it anymore, I'm so tired!'_

At any rate, he needed to do _something_ , or this agitation he felt would drive him _mad_.

"Do something."

"Wh-what? You were complaining that you're _so_ tired on the way, that you just want to sleep."

"I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I'm... too confused, thinking too many things at the same time, dunno. It's driving me crazy. Distract me, please."

Gray pushed Natsu into the mattress and lifted his upper body a bit so that he could look Natsu in the eye, a playful smile adorning his features.

"Whatever you want. What kind of distraction do you have in mind, my prince?"

In any other situation, Natsu would've kicked Gray. But with him looking at Natsu like _that_ , a teasing glint in his eyes, his shirt unbuttoned... It stirred a spark of desire that shot right to Natsu's groin, making him hot all over.

Natsu gulped as his eyes took in Gray's muscular torso, at least the part that wasn't hidden beneath the front of his shirt that was loosely hanging off his sides. The mess in his head cleared away, leaving behind only one thought.

_'I want this man, and I want him now.'_

His cock reacted rather strongly to the sight in front of him, growing hard at a fast pace. Since their crotches were pressed together, his condition didn't go unnoticed by Gray, whose smirk intensified.

"Oh? Was that an order?"

Natsu couldn't control the answering twitch of his cock. He could tell that Gray's dick was filling out as well, and together with Gray sensually licking his lips, it elicited a strangled moan from Natsu.

"I'm afraid I didn't understand what you want from me. You'll have to spell it out for me, my prince."

Gray rolled his hips seductively, making it difficult for Natsu to think of an answer.

"Do you want me to suck you off? Do you prefer my hand? Or do you maybe want... my cock? Please give me a clear order."

"I... W-would you just... stop moving for a bit?"

"Was that an order?"

"Yes. Stop moving."

"As you wish, my prince."

Gray obediently stopped his movements, and Natsu already regretted the loss of friction. But he _needed_ to tell Gray exactly what he wanted, and he planned on doing it in a somewhat prince-like manner. So, he sat up, pushing Gray into a sitting position as well. He tossed his scarf aside and then brought his mouth close to Gray's ear, already starting to take off his vest.

["I order you to fuck me. _Hard."_](http://ferbooche.tumblr.com/post/153643042828/natsu-i-order-you-to-fuck-me-hard)

A low groan tore its way out of Gray's throat, and before Natsu could say something else, he was already thrown back onto the mattress. Gray was all over him a second later, kissing, groping, caressing every patch of skin he could reach. He tore at Natsu's clothes, carelessly ripping the seams of Natsu's vest in his frenzy to remove it. As soon as he had free access to Natsu's upper body, he lunged forward.

All the touches and kisses, the stroking of his chest, and the caresses drove Natsu crazy. Soon he was reduced to a writhing and moaning mess, dangerously close to begging for more. Gray hadn't even taken their pants off yet.

"G-Gray... t-touch me— _ahhhh_ —lower... undress me, stroke my... c-cock."

"F-fuck, _Natsu_ , that's seriously turning me on."

"D-do it alrea— _ahh, nghh, ahhhhh!_ Directly. Touch my cock... d-directly."

Natsu couldn't take his eyes off Gray as he slithered down Natsu's body and settled between his thighs. The devious smirk that sneaked its way onto Gray's features sent hot shivers down his spine. In the unbuckling process, Gray's hand brushed over the head of Natsu's cock, prompting him to throw his head back as a moan escaped his lips, his eyes closing of their own volition. He opened them a second later, not wanting to miss out. His belt was already open, and when deft fingers hooked into the material, all layers down to his boxers, Natsu eagerly lifted his hips.

Gray licked his lips as he pulled everything down, teasingly slow. He'd somehow managed to take off his own clothes in the blink of an eye, and Natsu only noticed when he caught sight of Gray's hard, flushed cock.

Natsu whimpered as he could already smell the musk of arousal from both of them blending in the air. He waited with his eyes shut tightly, anticipating Gray's touch, but nothing happened. After a few seconds, he looked at Gray and noticed him staring, seeming to be in awe at the sight of Natsu sprawled out before him.

"Stop staring and touch me already."

Gray smirked and then licked a teasing stripe from base to tip, making Natsu shudder. He sat back up and looked at Natsu innocently.

"Bastard. Stop teasing. Prepare me and then _fuck me already."_

"Impatient, are we?"

"I'm gonna prepare myself if you don't have a finger inside me within thirty seconds."

"Now that would be hot to watch."

"Pervert. Alright, pass me the lube, I'll do it."

Gray nearly entangled himself with the blankets in his haste to fetch the lube. Natsu would've teased him for it if he hadn't been so damn _horny._

It was amusing to watch how shocked Gray was to see that Natsu could shove three well-lubed fingers in right from the start, moving them a bit, and then announce that he was ready.

"Are you... experienced?"

Natsu nodded, and left it at that. He hadn't told Gray yet that he was only experienced when it came to pleasuring himself with toys, and he was curious to see how Gray would react if he thought that he wasn't Natsu's first.

"Oh. Got any tips for me? What can I do to make you feel good?"

There wasn't even a hint of reproach in Gray's expression—only curiosity, and a spark of... something unidentifiable. Was he ashamed that he _didn't_ have any experience yet?

"I don't know. It's always different." It wasn't exactly a lie, since every toy was different and even the same toy could make him feel a variety of sensations, depending on a wide range of conditions, like his level of horniness.

Gray's blush deepened. "S-so, you've already been with many—"

"Yes."

 _'... with many sex toys,'_ he added in his thoughts.

It was mean, and Natsu knew it. Still, he couldn't help but feel curious about the meaning behind Gray's bashfulness. Was he jealous? Did he fear that he wouldn't be good enough?

"Does that bother you?" Natsu asked as nonchalantly as he could.

Gray avoided Natsu's gaze at all costs. "I... Was it someone I know? Someone of Fairy Tail?"

Natsu didn't want to lie outright, so this was a tricky question. "What if I said yes?"

A low whimper broke free from Gray's throat. Natsu was about to ask if he was alright, but then he noticed a streak of pre-cum running down Gray's shaft. Not only that, but the droplet on the tip seemed to grow larger. Was he _aroused_ when he thought about Natsu having sex with somebody else?

Natsu had expected various reactions, but _this_ wasn't something he thought possible. Should he be happy or sad, maybe even angry about it? He'd led Gray on, made him believe that he was sleeping around, with some of their friends no less. What the _hell_ was he supposed to do?

"H-holy shit! Sorry... I really am a pervert. I just imagined you with Laxus... _uhhh_."

"So... you've... um... err, imagined me with other guys before?"

Gray's eyes widened, and he paled.

"No, actually I've always been jealous whenever the thought came up that you _might_ have a lover, let alone many lovers. I think I never would have imagined something like this if you never mentioned other lovers in a sexual situation... I'm still jealous about whoever the lucky ones might have been, but I do realize that I have no reason or right to be. However, that didn't stop my imagination from running wild... D-don't get me wrong, I'm not _encouraging_ you to fuck with other guys. I want you for myself."

"And what if we invited another guy to... join us?"

Not that Natsu actually wanted it, but he was curious about Gray's reaction, and asking wouldn't do any harm, right?

Gray's reaction was unambiguous. A shudder ran through his whole body, his cock twitched, a needy whimper left his throat, and the droplet of pre-cum became larger before another streak made its way down to his balls. He seemed to like the idea of a threesome _very much._

"I... uh, shit. I mean... _imagining it_ sure is hot, but... I don't think I could handle seeing another guy touch you... I think I would rip his head off."

Natsu let out a relieved sigh. Thinking that Gray would hand him over to another guy without being jealous made him uneasy, so this was reassuring to know.

"The ones I did it with were—"

"You don't have to tell me, it's fine!"

"But I want to, dummy. The first one was a small and rather thin dildo. We had quite some fun together, but it wasn't what I was looking for, so I bought a vibrator. That was the second one, and I'm still with him sometimes. The third one was another dildo, a bit larger. The fourth—"

"Wait. Are you telling me that all your lovers up until this point have been _toys?"_

"Yeah."

"You _jerk!"_

Gray launched forward, squishing Natsu's cheeks, pinching his nipples, and poking him in the ribs.

Natsu half-heartedly defended himself, but for the most part he just let it happen. It was well-deserved after all, and Gray made good use of the chance to tickle him until he was completely out of breath.

"St-stop! I'm s-sor—ry, hahaha, stop, ahh! St-stop! I can't... brea—the."

After a few more seconds, Gray really stopped his tickling and lay down on Natsu, their faces only centimeters apart.

"You're an asshole."

"I'm sure you'll _love_ my asshole. It's still waiting for you."

Gray growled in mock-anger, but when Natsu leaned up to seal his lips in a passionate kiss, he dropped the façade, kissing back just as eagerly. Their cocks had softened a bit, but as their kiss went on and they started groping each other, they were back to full length quickly.

"Do you need to prepare yourself again? Should I do it?"

"Nah. I'm so used to it that you could actually just shove your dick inside right away, as long as you're using enough lube. It wouldn't even hurt. I do that on a regular basis, and my toys have about the same girth as you."

Gray shuddered, demanding Natsu to pass him the lube. He got himself slicked up in a matter of seconds and positioned himself between Natsu's legs.

"Ready?"

Natsu nodded, his eyes flickering rapidly between Gray's face and his cock—he didn't want to miss any of his expressions, but at the same time he wanted to watch Gray slide in for the first time. Gray hadn't even asked if he should wear a condom, but Natsu figured it must've been because he'd learned that Natsu was technically still a virgin... Or because he knew that even if Natsu had a sexually transmittable disease, it wouldn't matter since Gray would... And then time would be turned back anyway...

The feeling of being entered snapped Natsu back into the present, making all the negative thoughts vanish, replacing them by utter bliss. Gray's eyes were closed, his mouth wide open in a silent moan as he pushed in slowly until he was buried halfway inside Natsu. Then he opened his eyes, looking at Natsu hesitantly and inquiringly.

"It feels good. Keep going."

Gray pushed in deeper and it was a bit uncomfortable, but Natsu knew that it would turn into pleasure eventually. And it did when Gray pulled out nearly all the way, slamming back in with a low moan, just barely skimming his prostate. Natsu's open-mouthed moan—needy, wanton, and carnal—echoed through the bedroom. That seemed to be all the confirmation Gray needed to get going for real. He followed Natsu's order to _fuck him hard_.

The feeling of Gray's balls slapping against Natsu's ass, accompanied by the lewd whacking sounds the motion caused, was incredibly filthy. It was something Natsu had never experienced before, since all his toys didn't have such flexible balls, if they even had any.

Just as Natsu was about to close his eyes and give in to the overwhelming pleasure, a thought occurred to him.

"Sh-shit. J-Jellal. He's pro— _ahhh_ —p-probably watching..."

The curtains weren't drawn, so he'd have a perfect view if he sat in one of the trees.

"Yeah. _Hnnnghh_... I th-thought— _haaahhh_ —that w-was on pur— _ngh_ —purpose."

"I-it wasn't. B-but— _ahhh, yes, there, d-do that again, hnngh_ —but i-it's okay. L-l-let's give him a g-good show. Fuck me _harder_."

"Sh-shit. You're s-so tight. I-if I go any faster, I'll c-come within s-seconds."

Natsu dug his heels into Gray's ass cheeks, making him stop, buried balls-deep.

"Then let's take a short break."

"Y-yeah... Although I'm pretty sure that no matter how long we wait, I won't last long... Especially when I'm fucking you hard."

A sly grin sneaked its way onto Natsu's features.

"Well, then how about you go slow? When you notice you're about to come, go even slower or stop altogether."

"S-slow. Alright."

Natsu pulled Gray down for a kiss and kept his arms firmly around Gray's shoulders so that their bodies remained pressed flush against each other even after their lips parted.

Gray brushed a pink strand away from Natsu's sweaty forehead, and then he continued to caress his hair, down his cheek, intently watching every one of Natsu's reactions. Maybe creating a romantic atmosphere would help Gray cool down.

"I like having your weight on me. I can't really explain why... It's like... _feeling_ your presence even more."

Oh damn. Did that sound awkward? It surely did to Natsu's ears, but it was true all the same. He _loved_ feeling Gray's body pressed against his.

Gray smiled softly, leaned down, and nudged the tip of Natsu's nose, never breaking eye contact. "You're so pretty... I've always thought you have beautiful eyes, and now that I can see them up close... I think they're dazzling..."

Natsu felt his cheeks heating up, unable to form a reply. Just then, Gray moved again. He really did go slowly, pulling out nearly all the way before he tentatively slid back in. They held the other's gaze all the while. This elicited a whole different kind of pleasure in Natsu—it was extremely satisfying emotionally. Being joined with Gray like this while looking into those beautiful eyes that told him without a word how much Natsu meant to him made his heart flutter and overflow with love. The moans were long, softer than the previous ones, and they shared tender kisses in between.

The distinctive smells of sweat, sex, lube, and _Gray_ wafted through the air. The sight of Gray's blissful expression mixed with the physical sensations made Natsu feel _whole_ like he'd never felt before.

Eventually Gray stopped his movements, shuddering with the effort to restrain his orgasm. It took him about a minute and lots of soothing touches to calm down to the point where he wouldn't come right away once he started moving again.

"And now," Natsu said, "fuck me hard. Give me all you've got."

"You gotta be kidding me. It'll be over quickly."

"I _need_ it. Please. Make me scream, and don't you dare hold back your sounds either."

"Shit. Alright. Here I come."

Gray pulled out carefully, letting out a long moan.

"That's not _hard_."

Suddenly, the force of Gray's hips slammed into Natsu so hard his head banged against the head board.

"Fu— _ahhhhh, yes, th-that's it, oh fuck!"_

As much as Natsu wanted to say something, praise Gray, he just couldn't. All that came out of his mouth were choked breaths, moans, and profanities as Gray humped him without restraint. The vulgar sounds Gray made intensified Natsu's pleasure, and he could already feel the beginning of a prostate orgasm building. It was strange, since he'd only ever achieved a prostate orgasm by vibrating toys, and this was a different sensation.

The emotional bond he shared with Gray made it all so much more intense, so despite the stimulation being unfamiliar, it still felt way better.

His train of thought was interrupted when waves of pleasure rocked his body, making him scream in pleasure. He didn't notice that Gray came until the thrusts stopped.

Gray slowly opened his eyes and looked down between their bodies. His face was flushed, breaths coming in ragged pants.

"Wow... it felt like... you had an orgasm, too... but you apparently didn't. Sorry."

Natsu cradled Gray's face with both hands, gently asking him to lock eyes with Natsu. When he did, Natsu said that there was nothing to be sorry for, and that he indeed had an orgasm—a dry one. He repeated his explanation from the previous time, and Gray listened attentively, gaping at Natsu all the while.

"So you can still come?"

"Yes. I don't have to tho—"

Gray gripped Natsu's cock, stroking him eagerly.

" _Ahh_ , g-god, you're not wasting— _hnggh_ —t-time, are you?"

"Never. When I get the chance to see your blissful face, there's no doubt about my decision. Do you like dirty talk? Or did you just do it because you know I enjoy it?"

"N-no, I enjoy it... fffuck, you're g-good at hand jobs."

"You just lie back and enjoy. Let me hear your sexy voice while I stroke your cock. Yeah, that's it. You like to see what's happening, eh? That makes me want to blindfold you, so you'd be completely at my mercy. I bet I could make you feel so good. Just listen to the hot sounds you make. You like that idea, don't you?"

Giving up a part of his control over the situation, trusting Gray to make him feel good without being able to watch... It did sound _very hot_ indeed, so Natsu gave an enthusiastic nod and a long moan in response.

Gray's eyes glistened. "We'll have so much fun in bed together. Can I also restrain you? With handcuffs?"

Natsu nodded eagerly. He wanted to answer that he'd like to do the same things to Gray, but what came out were only ragged breaths and moaning. He'd tell him later. To Natsu's surprise, Gray let out a needy whimper—the thought seemed to be _that_ arousing to him.

The friction suddenly vanished and Natsu let out a complaining grunt, but when he saw Gray bringing up his hand to his mouth and giving it a generous lick, he swallowed in awe. The musky scent intensified, and Natsu could tell that there was a lot of pre-cum smeared on Gray's hands.

"Mhhh. Tastes so naughty."

Gray's lewd grin seriously turned Natsu on. His cock gave an interested twitch as Gray continued to suck on his fingers. _Shit!_ Natsu _needed_ friction _now_.

"Stop wasting time. Stroke me."

"You look so hot when you're impatient." Gray wiped the saliva off his hands and onto the sheets. "Tell me _exactly_ what you want and you'll get it."

"I want your hand around my dick. Grip me tightly and then stroke me fast."

Gray made good on his word and followed Natsu's order, the grin never leaving his face. He reached to the bottle of lube, squirted a little into the palm of his hand, and immediately got to work, stroking up and down eagerly, causing squelching sounds as he did so. Natsu threw his head back and let out a low moan. He wasn't going to last much longer.

"Shit. Just look at you. You're so sexy, coming undone by my hand. Am I good at this?"

The only thing Natsu managed to get out was a broken "Yes, ahh, now!" Then he came, feeling the cum shooting through his cock as he emptied himself on his stomach, waves of pleasure rocking his body. It was a lot of cum, though not nearly as much as he got after several prostate orgasms in his masturbatory sessions.

Gray's dick was already soft, so Natsu tried to fetch the tissues from the drawer to catch the mess before they separated and cum spilled. However, the movement caused what he wanted to prevent—Gray slipped out, and even though Natsu tightened up immediately, a drip of cum landed on the bedsheets.

Natsu froze and gulped, his gaze still directed at the drawer. Gray had made clear that he didn't want his bed to become stained, so he'd surely be angry.

"You know, if the situation was a normal one, I'd probably kick your ass for this, but since time will be turned back anyway, it's not permanent. I'll have my clean bedsheets back in a few hours, so it's fine."

Natsu hesitantly turned his head back, relieved when he found no trace of anger in Gray's expression. It was rather the opposite—he looked amused for whatever reason.

"I like your guilty expression. Like a small child that's been caught red-handed while trying to sneak away with sweets. Maybe I don't mind getting my bed dirty if it means I get to see that face more often... No, scratch that. I don't want dried sperm on my mattress."

He really did want to keep his stuff clean. Gray's flat was tidy with no dust anywhere. It was probably easy to clean since most of the surfaces were empty, but still. Gray hadn't said anything about the state of cleanliness of Natsu's house, but he'd probably just been polite. Living together with Gray would surely mean that Natsu would have to clean far more often than he was used to. Which wasn't exactly a bad thing. Natsu disliked untidiness but was just too lazy to tidy up. He _needed_ somebody to kick his ass.

"I'll... keep it in mind."

Gray smiled. "Good. Then how about you give me the tissues anyway so I can clean up what hasn't spilled yet onto my bed?"

Natsu complied quickly. Gray did a thorough job in cleaning, also wiping Natsu's stomach dry before he tossed the tissues into the nearby bin. They snuggled each other, content to revel in the post-orgasmic high while idly caressing each other. After a short while, Natsu made a quick trip to the bathroom to get rid of Gray's cum that was still inside him. He practically threw himself back into Gray's arms, and they resumed caressing each other.

It wasn't long until drowsiness washed over Natsu, so strong that he could barely keep his eyes open.

" 'm tired..."

Gray let out a small laugh. "You know, that's a total stereotype. A man falls asleep right after sex."

"Are you angry?"

"No. You said you were tired before, and then you said you couldn't sleep because your thoughts were racing. I think you need rest, and if you can fall asleep now, I'm happy."

"Mmmmhh."

Gray pressed a soft kiss to Natsu's temple and patted his shoulder invitingly. There was no way Natsu would decline the invitation. He snuggled his head against Gray's shoulder, wrapping an arm around his chest and draping a leg over his hips. A happy sigh escaped Natsu's lips. Gray's slightly elevated heartbeat and his hand nuzzling Natsu's hair calmed him down until he fell asleep.

***

Natsu woke up to butterfly kisses being pressed against his temple, then trailing down all over his face until they stopped abruptly before his lips. Was Gray too shy to kiss him on the mouth when he thought Natsu was asleep? If that was the case, then Natsu would have to steal his kiss, so he tilted his head and pressed his lips onto Gray's.

Gray made a surprised sound, but after a second he caught himself and kissed back all too happily. What a way to wake up! To think he could have this every morning after he solved the situation... It encouraged Natsu even more to do his best and find a way to save Gray.

It was already five, so they had only two hours left. Natsu didn't want to think about what was going to happen, and Gray did his best to distract him. They cuddled on the bed a bit more, and then Natsu wrote his diary entry while Gray supported him and made silly comments. All in all, he managed to cheer Natsu up considerably, to motivate him not to give up. Not that giving up was an option, but Natsu definitely felt exhausted.

Gray said that whenever Natsu felt down, they'd just have to do something sexual and he'd be fine again. It was meant as a joke, but Natsu thought that there was some truth behind it.

Natsu was in no way a professional when it came to hormones, but he was fairly sure that the hormones emitted during sex could only contribute to him feeling better. The same probably applied to cuddling and kissing, too. And just generally being around Gray.

They also talked about things they wanted to try in bed, exploring the other's fantasies and preferences.

It was the best opportunity for Natsu to state his claim. "Same right for the both of us. I want to blindfold and handcuff you too. I think I'll enjoy having you at my mercy."

"Mmmhh. And I'll enjoy _being_ at your mercy. How do you feel about spanking?"

Natsu flinched. "NO! No, no, no!"

"Whoa, relax. Sorry. It was just a question. No spanking then. To be honest, I don't even know if I would enjoy it. I just thought we could try if you wanted to."

"No. Nothing that involves pain. That's off-limits. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to be hurt by you. If you end up sucking my skin too hard in the heat of the moment, that's alright. You could even bite me softly, but not so strong that it really hurts."

"Good to know. Although... I'll forget anyway, but could you tell me that again? I really wanted to bite you, but I wasn't sure how you'd react, so I didn't do it."

_'He'll forget... yeah... forget everything we just did. Forget the happy time we spent together... Forget that I love him, that I want him, forget that we kissed and had sex... forget the first time he was on top... He'll forget everything...'_

Natsu gulped heavily. "I'll... t-tell you."

Gray's reaction was immediate. He pinned Natsu down onto the mattress, said soothing words, made Natsu think of other things, anything but his... impending death. It worked somewhat. But he didn't manage to shut down all the negative thoughts that flooded Natsu's mind, making him feel like drowning. No matter how much he tried to swim, it was useless. Gray would forget. Natsu couldn't breathe freely anymore; he felt as if his airway was being squeezed.

He had a panic attack, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. Gray helped him to overcome it like he'd done the last time, but Natsu still felt like shit afterwards. It was a good thing that he'd already finished writing his entry, or else he wouldn't have been able to complete it.

Natsu spent nearly half of the remaining time lost in thoughts, even though Gray did his very best to pull him out of them. It was useless to over-think things, Natsu knew as much. There were moments when he could focus on the present and even smile. The kisses they shared were tender, almost as if Gray feared he might break Natsu. The dark thoughts never stayed away for long though, and if it was that bad even in Gray's presence, Natsu didn't want to know how it would be without Gray's hugs and gentle touches, without his soothing whispers.

The closer it got to seven o'clock, the more anxious Natsu became. It wasn't until ten minutes before that Gray found a way to make the thoughts shut up. He suggested different things Natsu could try out. Some things that Gray would enjoy, some things which would make him emotional, and some which would hurt him in the best of ways. No, not hurt. They would make him _anxious, but happy._

He managed to get Natsu to somewhat look forward to all the opportunities he had instead of only feeling the pain. Sure, the pain was still there, and it would never completely go away. How could it, when Gray was _dying_ every time?

Gray also pointed out that they hadn't yet checked if the mission went as planned if it was only Gajeel and Pantherlily. Giving Natsu a task proved to be very effective to take his mind off the negative sides as well.

It was a minute before seven when Gray asked Natsu for a favor, but didn't want to name it until Natsu promised to keep it. Since Natsu wanted to know what was on Gray's mind, and it could be considered his 'last wish', he finally gave in and promised.

"I want you to leave. Now. I don't want you to see me die again."

Natsu's first impulse was to object, but he'd promised. Considering his current state of mind, it would probably be best if he didn't see Gray die anymore. So, he nodded and left through the window, ordered Jellal to go and check on Gray, and then took off running into the nearby forest. He ran as fast as he could, not looking back until dizziness overcame him, sending him flying. He blacked out before his body even hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposely didn't write down Lucy's text, since I don't think you need the explanation of what's going on for the umpteenth time. I'll just leave it to your imagination.
> 
> Fun fact: I'm thinking of writing an independent one-shot (alternative version of this day's smut scene) where Natsu and Gray really go to the guild and ask somebody (Laxus, probably?) to join them and then have a hot threesome on Gray's bed. Not in the main fic though. At least not _now_ ;) I don't know if I'm ever gonna do it since it would steal precious time I need for writing this fic (maybe if I pause the main fic for a week and upload the one shot on Sunday instead? What do you think?). I'm super slow at writing porn scenes. My writing speed is abysmal anyway (300 words per hour if I'm in high spirits), and when it comes to porn, it's something between -10 words/hour (yes, negative word count is a thing for me) and ~150 words/hour (plus, I've never written a threesome before so it could take me even longer, ugh). Now you can calculate how much time I put into this work ;D
> 
> Thanks for your continuous support & feedback :) Please don't forget to leave Kudos if you liked it (they are very important for me, too ^^)
> 
> I'm writing chapter 20 right now and it's a _very_ important chapter (key chapter) plot-wise~ Things are moving along ^_^ Please send tissues, I need them :(
> 
> Just in case you wanna send monetary support, you can do it [here](https://ko-fi.com/A661DJB) :)
> 
> **Please read the Diary Entry for Day 8 and Mirajane's notes (Day 8) now.**


	16. Day 9 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever wished you could leave a review while reading? There's somebody who wrote a script that creates a floaty box on AO3. It stays wherever you put it even when you scroll down, and the things you write in it will automatically be copy-pasted to the comment box at the end of the chapter. The only flaw would be that it partially covers the text, depending on how small your screen (and resolution) is. It also gives you suggestions what you could write in your comment.  
> I installed it and I think it's perfect ^_^ [here's the link](http://chiyala.tumblr.com/post/157139558177/ravenel-i-saw-this-post-by-astropixie-about-how).
> 
> You already know I mark my scene breaks with three stars. Now get ready for **POV breaks** ;) I mark them with three waves ~~~
> 
> For those who aren't caught up with the Manga: If you haven't yet read [Chapter 436](http://proxer.me/read/2784/444/en/1) of the Manga, this chapter contains spoilers. Beware, this fic is _non canon compliant_ , so you might be confused if you read this fic before you read the actual Manga.
> 
> Acnologia is in his _human form_ in this chapter.

Zeref let out a content sigh as he slumped down on Acnologia's bare chest. These were the best moments of their _occasional meetings_ —the blissful post-orgasmic haze, spent cuddling or just idly lying in each other's arms. At least until Zeref's emotions overtook him and the curse of Ankhseram activated, which happened almost every time. For some reason, Acnologia was immune to it, but that didn't make things more bearable for Zeref. It hurt deeply, even after four hundred years, that he still hadn't managed to shed the curse that took the life of those who were most precious to him.

They always met at the exact same spot as per Zeref's request. The greenery and animals there were long since dead. They always made love at this spot—Acnologia would fight him if he knew that Zeref referred to their actions as 'making love'. Ever since they'd done this for the first time about a hundred years ago, he insisted that they were just 'fuck buddies', that Zeref wasn't somebody special to him. He claimed that they were archenemies and that he would kill Zeref eventually.

Zeref never confessed, but that wasn't necessary. The frequency in which Ankhseram activated during the time they spent together was self-explanatory. Acnologia _knew_ about his feelings, and he actively decided to trample on them even though he felt the same. There was just no other explanation for his elevated pulse, his dilated pupils and the longing look in his eyes whenever he thought Zeref wasn't paying attention.

A hand sliding over his back snapped his attention back to the present. These were the moments in which Acnologia was the most honest with himself, when he let his guard down, even if just for a while.

What exactly was he afraid of? There had been one occasion where Acnologia told Zeref of a myth that all dragons and thus all Dragon Slayers had a mate. They were fated to be together and would eventually find each other. Upon Zeref's question how they would know when they found their mate, Acnologia explained that a mark, like a tattoo, would appear somewhere on their bodies.

Maybe that was what held him back. There was no mark on either of their bodies, even though they already had countless sexual encounters. However, Zeref didn't believe in something that even Acnologia claimed not to believe and he wasn't going to give up what they had. If that meant enduring being called a 'fuck buddy' and overlooking the occasional flings Acnologia had, then so be it. He always came back to Zeref after all, looking even more grim than usual. Refusing the strong emotional bond they shared hurt him as well, no matter how vigorously he tried to deny it.

Lately, Acnologia only agreed to meet him before dawn and hurried off right after again. Was he keeping another lover in his cave and didn't want to let him or her know that there was somebody else he was sleeping with?

There was a poke to his side. "Oy. Your curse only activated twice today. Finally losing interest in me?"

Zeref clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Shut up."

Acnologia huffed. "At least _you_ know the value of silence."

What a strange thing to say. They were both rather quiet. What was he talking about? Zeref needed to see his face, so he pushed himself up. However, there was nothing to read in Acnologia's face. His brows were drawn, his eyes hard and unreadable like always. The only time Acnologia allowed a trace of emotion other than annoyance to show on his face was in the throes of pleasure.

"Get off me."

Without waiting for a reaction, Acnologia rolled sideways and got up, leaving Zeref lying on the hard soil. He went to the nearest cliff and jumped. A second later there was a splash to be heard.

Zeref sighed heavily, well aware that his lover— _fuck buddy_ —would hear it clearly. He rolled onto his back and stared at the sky. The sun would rise soon. Another day of boredom was awaiting him.

' _What should I do today? Maybe hunt something and eat? I haven't eaten in a month. But first, clean up._ '

~~~

Natsu woke up to the strange feeling of falling and shot up right away. His stomach felt funny. He was trembling and sweating like always.

Shaking his head, Natsu decided to focus on the task at hand. He took a shower, cleaned his colon, dried himself with his own flames, and went to his nightstand, still naked. Seeing the vast sex toy collection in his drawer made him feel nervous when he thought about what he was going to do.

_'You could offer me sex without confessing. I'd accept, and I think I'd enjoy it even more since it could be the only chance I ever get.'_

The choice was easy; Natsu possessed only one toy with a remote control, and it wouldn't be easily seen through his clothes. It also stimulated his prostate with deadly precision. Needless to say, it was his favorite toy.

~~~

Gray was tired. He hadn't slept well, and his head hurt. Not that badly, but it was annoying enough so he wanted it to go away. He'd already drunk _two_ glasses of water and the third one was sitting on the table before him, courtesy of Mirajane who said that he didn't look fine and thus should drink. He'd taken a gulp of it, but felt like he might puke if he took another one. Two glasses within five minutes were already too much, but three? Nope. Playing with the water seemed much more fun, so he froze and melted it over and over, wondering if the glass would break if he just did it often enough.

He _could_ ask Wendy to heal him, but he didn't want to bother her with such a trifle. She looked exhausted, too. If the headache hadn't subsided before the mission began, he'd ask her. Until then, he hoped that the water would take effect soon.

It _did_ take effect a few minutes later, but not in the way he wanted—he needed to go to the toilet.

Back in the main hall, he still didn't feel like drinking more. He sighed and settled for playing with his water for want of a better idea. A glance at the guild's clock told him that it was just past seven. Why the hell had he decided to go to the guild that early? He could've stayed at home a little longer, maybe tried a bit harder to fall back to sleep. Going back now wouldn't do any good, since he knew that falling asleep after he'd gotten up for the day was nearly impossible. A nap in the afternoon was possible, but never in the morning, no matter how often he tried on his free days.

Thirty minutes ticked by uneventfully, other than him downing the glass and immediately having it refilled by a very attentive Mirajane. He rolled his eyes, but she insisted he try to drink it. Gray nodded absentmindedly, not planning to drink it anytime soon, but it was enough to shoo Mirajane away.

When Natsu and Happy arrived shortly after half past seven, Gray pretended not to notice. He really didn't have the energy to interact with his stupid, oblivious best friend. He didn't allow his gaze to leave the glass before him, freezing and melting it at an even higher pace than he had before. Hopefully Natsu wouldn't bother him if he noticed the bad mood Gray was in.

Sadly, his plan didn't work. Natsu flopped down opposite of him, and Gray could feel himself being stared at. He lifted his head and fixed his eyes on Natsu, trying to silently prompt him to state the reason for his early arrival. Him being at the guild before nine, let alone before _eight_ , was highly suspicious.

The faint blush on Natsu's face staggered Gray. Sure, Natsu flushed occasionally, but Gray had yet to find out the reason for his cute little blushes. Looking harder, Gray found that Natsu looked exhausted, but also mischievous.

Mischievous with a blush on his face? That didn't fit together. What the _hell_ was going on? And why was he wearing a watch? Since when did he even possess one?

"Would you come outside with me for a bit?"

Gray raised an eyebrow. "What for?"

"There's something... I want to try. Please."

Natsu politely asking for something? What a rare incident. Gray figured that he had nothing to lose—anything was more interesting than playing with a glass of water.

He got up and followed Natsu outside, who led him to the backside of the guild. Natsu pulled something small out of his pocket and handed it to Gray. It looked like a small remote control of _something_ , but there was no lacrima vision nearby, so what was Natsu trying to get at?

"Try it."

And with that, Natsu leaned against the wall in a very... _suggestive_ manner. He even licked his lips, drawing in Gray's attention immediately.

"Go ahead and use it. Don't be shy."

Shy? Use it? It slowly dawned on Gray what this _could_ mean, but it didn't make any sense. Why would Natsu give something like that to _him_ of all people?

Gray shook his head in disbelief. Surely he was just misunderstanding things. He examined the remote closely. There was a power button, and then two control units, labeled 'intensity' and 'program'. This raised Gray's suspicion even more, but he decided to follow Natsu's instruction to try it out.

He pressed the power button and nearly jumped when he heard a faint vibrating sound right before him. Natsu closed his eyes, tilting his head back until it rested against the wall and let out a barely audible moan.

This couldn't be true! Natsu had just handed him the remote control of a vibrator that was obviously stuck in his ass!

Gray hastily pressed the power button once more, relieved when the noise stopped. Natsu wasn't that happy about it, seeing as he let out a frustrated groan and glared at Gray.

"Don't stop! It feels _so good_."

"What the _hell_ , Natsu? What's this about?"

Natsu cocked his head. "I have a vibrator up my ass. Isn't it obvious?"

The boldness made Gray's cheeks heat. "I figured out that much, yeah. But _why_?"

"I thought it was a nice foreplay."

_'Foreplay? Does that mean he wants to...? Holy shit!'_

Gray nearly choked on his saliva. His body was already reacting, but there was no way Gray would lunge at Natsu just like this.

"Why me?"

"I want to try gay sex."

Try gay sex? Before he settled for a hetero relationship with Lucy? Probably. Gray couldn't stand the thought, but still; there was no way he'd refuse the offer. He'd made up his mind about this sort of situation long ago. However, _gay sex_ didn't necessarily mean that Natsu had to ask Gray.

"There are thousands of other guys out there, and I'm sure you could easily find somebody who'd want to do it with you."

Natsu grinned cheekily. "Oh? Why do you think so?"

Well, shit. Was there a way out of this without revealing his feelings? Gray opted for an expression and posture that were hopefully nonchalant. "Well, you're fit, you're a powerful mage, and you have a pretty face. I think that's what people would consider sexy, right?"

There. 'People', not him. However, Natsu's grin only widened.

"Come on. I wouldn't want to do it with a stranger. I want it to be somebody I can trust, and there's nobody else in the guild right now I'd be comfortable doing this with."

So there _were_ other people he'd be comfortable doing this with. Gray wasn't someone special to Natsu then; he was just short-listed.

_'Buck up! You've been prepared for such a situation. And who knows? If you do this right, Natsu might consider having sex with you again...'_

Gray knew that if he let this opportunity go to waste, he'd forever hate himself for it. He took a deep breath and dispersed all his doubts with the next exhalation, leaving behind only firm resolution.

Since Natsu seemed to enjoy the vibrator, Gray turned it on again, which earned him a surprised gasp. Gray didn't have any experience with such tools, so he didn't know whether the intensity was high or low after start-up. Time to find out! He pressed the 'plus'-button under the inscription 'intensity', and was rewarded with a low moan.

Natsu's back sagged against the wall. His knees looked like they were about to give in, so Gray didn't hesitate to pin Natsu to the wall, keeping him upright. That his thigh ended up being pressed against Natsu's crotch was a lucky side effect. And _god_ was Natsu hard!

"G-Gra-Gray, ahh, fffeels s-so— _hngghh_ —good! G-gonna... c-c-co—aaaahhhh, ahhh, _Gray, Gray, Graaay!"_

Natsu squirmed and writhed, moaning so loudly that Gray feared the people in the guild might overhear. However, that thought dissipated when Natsu's shudders caused their clothed cocks to align, rubbing just slightly against each other.

 _Holy. Shit._ The sight of Natsu's flushed and sweaty face and the moans he made were already enough to send Gray close to the edge. If he wasn't wearing jeans which absorbed most of the friction, he would've come right away.

Gray turned the toy off, thinking that Natsu would need some time to recover, but Natsu objected loudly at the loss of vibration, looking at him reproachfully. Wouldn't Natsu become overstimulated if this kept up?

"M-more, please. This was a dry orgasm. There's no refractory period. I can have multiple orgasms like this."

Gray had never heard of something like that before. But Natsu's pants were indeed still dry, and his cock hadn't shrunk at all. No overstimulation then? It didn't seem to be a problem, as Natsu threw his head back and let out a groan when Gray turned the vibration back on.

Damn. How could anyone be _that_ sexy? To think that Natsu would be okay with showing this side of him to anyone beside Gray... A pang of jealousy surged through his body.

 _No._ He'd do his best to prevent such a situation. He'd make Natsu feel good, make him want more, make him want _only Gray_.

Was it okay for him to touch Natsu? He was dying to touch any part of the body writhing before him, so he tentatively laid his hand on Natsu's cheek. As a reaction, Natsu opened his eyes, caught hold of Gray's wrist, and sucked in two fingers.

It should have been arousing, and it was, somehow. But Gray had a slight aversion against saliva. So long it stayed where it was supposed to be, it was okay, but as soon as it left the mouth, it became disgusting. However, this wasn't about his own pleasure, so he tried to hold back, but Natsu noticed anyway. He released Gray's fingers immediately, wearing an apologetic look.

"S-sorry. Y-you don't like th-this."

"No, it's o—"

"I c-can tell— _ahh_ —from your s-scent and your expression... Y-you dislike it."

Sometimes Gray wished the senses of a Dragon Slayer weren't that sharp, and this was one of those times. He bit his lip as he resisted the urge to wipe his fingers dry, fearing it might insult Natsu.

"Sorry."

"T-turn it off."

Gray obediently pressed the power button. Had he already fucked up? He couldn't meet Natsu's gaze, but then Natsu wrapped his fingers gently around Gray's wrist. When Natsu rubbed the slick fingers dry with his vest, Gray had to look up. What he found in Natsu's eyes wasn't at all what he'd expected. Instead of disappointment, there was only understanding.

"Don't hide. This isn't only about me. I'll only be satisfied if you are, too. So please tell me honestly if there's something you like or dislike. No finger sucking then?"

Gray swallowed. "I... have an aversion against saliva that's outside of the mouth."

Natsu's eyes widened in surprise. "Huh? Does that mean you also dislike blowjobs?"

"Err... I've never done that, neither received nor given one."

Natsu looked like he was about to say something, but he caught himself, gulped, and then hesitantly said, "But do you think you'd enjoy them?"

"I think so, yeah. As long as you're not _spitting_ on my dick..."

The image was off-putting and made Gray shiver. Strangely enough, he quite liked the concept of giving Natsu a blowjob or receiving one from him, unless the previous mentioned event occurred. Maybe it was just a dislike against pooled saliva outside of the mouth, but that didn't explain why he didn't like his fingers being licked.

"Alright. I won't do that. What about tongue kisses then?"

Gray very nearly choked on his breath. _Kisses?_ Was Natsu okay with _kissing_ him? Wasn't this just purely about sex? Because kissing usually involved feelings, right? At least for Gray. He wouldn't want to kiss anybody for whom he didn't feel deeply. But then again, he also wouldn't want to have _sex_ with anybody he wasn't in love with, and Natsu had already proven that his take on the matter was quite a different one. Even so, there was no way Gray would miss the chance.

"I... I'd have to... try?"

Natsu batted his eyelashes invitingly, and for a moment Gray feared his heart might jump right out of his ribcage.

 _'Okay. Relax. It's just a kiss. A kiss with_ Natsu. _One that could decide whether you get to kiss him again or not. One that could decide if you get to have sex with him. One that could either win him over or scare him off altogether... Shit.'_

With his thoughts spinning like this, it was impossible to stay calm. His arms gave in, leaving him to slump against Natsu, mashing their lips together clumsily. Well, that didn't go as planned. It was a miracle Gray managed to maintain the kiss despite internally freaking out. Natsu's sense of hearing was sharp, so he would surely notice Gray's thrumming heartbeat, not to mention he'd _feel_ Gray's ragged breath on his cheek.

Natsu stayed completely passive, other than wrapping his arms around Gray's shoulders and humming blissfully. If he already enjoyed the chaste touch, then there was nothing to fear, right? Gray gathered all his courage and started moving his lips against Natsu's, varying the pressure, and even nibbled carefully at Natsu's bottom lip.

The reaction was immediate and unambiguous—Natsu moaned into the kiss and rubbed his crotch against Gray's, the movement eliciting another moan from both. So, nibbling it was.

Gray's confidence grew more and more as Natsu turned to putty in his hands, writhing and mewling at the soft bites and careful touches of tongue against lips.

The moment seemed surreal, something Gray never would have let himself dream about. Natsu was into Lucy after all, right? Yet here he was, kissing Gray as if it was the only thing he needed, as if _Gray_ was the only one he wanted. It hurt deeply to think that this was just a fling to Natsu, that Gray wasn't someone special for him.

 _'No. I_ will _be someone special. I'm his first... well, at least his first guy. There's no way he'll ever forget this.'_

He'd just have to make it as memorable as possible. How to make Natsu feel even better? Surely he'd be okay with Gray touching his chest and abdomen? More than okay obviously, seeing as he threw his head back and let out a long moan upon being touched, breaking their kiss with the movement.

"Touch me more. Touch me everywhere. I want you to."

Gray didn't need to be told twice. He let his hands rove all over Natsu's front, enjoying the hard muscle under soft skin while Natsu came undone under his touches, grinding his hips eagerly against Gray's.

Gathering the courage to touch Natsu's more private parts wasn't easy, but he got there gradually, carefully sliding his hand down Natsu's lower back. When he reached the waistband, Natsu reversed their positions in a swift motion, pinning Gray against the cool brick wall.

"Undress me. _Slowly._ I know that sounds strange for you, but I want to enjoy you undressing me, and I wanna do the same to you."

The teasing smile on Natsu's features was sexy as always, making Gray shudder. It was a reaction he usually masked with aggressiveness, but as there was no need for hiding anymore, he let it show. Natsu had every right to tease him about this—Gray would've stripped both in under a second without giving it a second thought.

Natsu was right with what he'd said about enjoying the process of undressing—it was extremely arousing. Undoing Natsu's belt slowly... then peeling him from layers of clothing while running his hands sensually over every patch of newly exposed skin... Especially removing Natsu's scarf turned out to be exciting since Gray rarely saw Natsu's bare neck. He didn't let the opportunity to suck at the sensitive skin slide and was rewarded with a lustful growl. Natsu probably wouldn't mind if Gray left a love bite at his neck, seeing as he always wore his scarf anyway, so he went for it and wasn't disappointed. Natsu even encouraged him, running a hand up and down his upper back.

The sight of his love bite on Natsu's neck aroused him even more, and a spontaneous urge to move things faster overcame him. He kneeled down and breathed butterfly kisses over Natsu's six-pack and hip scar, widening the elastic band so that it wouldn't catch on Natsu's hard cock on the way down.

Pulling down Natsu's boxers was by far the most exciting part of all this undressing business, and also the most difficult to perform _slowly._ As soon as Natsu's swollen, red tip came into sight, Gray was tempted to yank the boxers down at once, or maybe even just rip them off. Somehow, he managed to control himself. However, the pull was too strong to resist. Gray allowed himself to press a kiss to Natsu's frenulum, and when Natsu moaned at the contact, he even gave it a lick.

"Haaahh! Careful. I don't wanna cum yet. I want you to fuck me. Want you to... b-bl—err..."

Natsu trailed off, looking everywhere but at Gray. Was he trying to talk dirty even though he wasn't comfortable with it? Gray didn't want to talk about something serious while having his face close to Natsu's crotch, so he got to his feet.

"Don't force yourself to say something you don't want, idiot."

Oops. That 'idiot' wasn't meant to be said out loud, but his habits had taken over. However, Natsu didn't seem to care or even notice that he was being insulted. He just bit his lip and shook his head slightly.

"I _do_ want to say it. I enjoy it. It's just... I haven't gotten used to it yet... it's still a bit embarrassing."

 _'Not_ yet? _Still? That means he's done this before. He's not inexperienced. I'm just his first guy. The first one who gets to take his ass...'_

Natsu seemed to notice what he'd just said, and his eyes widened in horror. "I mean... uh... I'm into dirty talking, and I've practiced... before a mirror! It's not—"

"Natsu. It's okay. I'm not judging you, nor am I complaining. I have no right for that. And I don't want to anyway. You can do whatever you want. This is just—" Gray bit his lip, already regretting what he would say next— "just... sex. No strings attached. That's what you want, right?"

It looked like Natsu debated the answer with himself for a few seconds, with different emotions flickering over his face, but then his expression grew determined.

"Yes. That's what I want."

A physical blow to the heart couldn't have been any more painful.

_'But what did I expect? For him to fall to his knees and confess his undying love for me? Don't make me laugh! I was prepared for this to happen. I even explicitly asked for this answer.'_

Gray was about to say something along the lines of 'I want the same' even though he didn't mean it, but Natsu was quicker.

"If we both like it, we could consider doing it again... Well, at least I'm not against the idea."

Natsu's determined expression made way for a flustered and insecure one, searching Gray's gaze, probably looking for reassurance. Was there even a trace of guilt in his eyes or was it just Gray's imagination? Did he feel guilty for wanting to pursue a purely sexual relationship with somebody?

_'Is it because we're close friends? As for me, we're best friends, but I guess his best friend is Happy.'_

But more importantly, how should he answer? Of course he'd take everything he could get, and if that meant to be Natsu's fuck buddy, then so be it. He couldn't be too enthusiastic about it or else Natsu would grow suspicious eventually. His behavior had to resemble that of somebody who was curious on a sexual level, but not emotionally attached to their partner. At least not romantically. Meaning he'd have to be his usual sassy, competing self.

"We'll see about that. Maybe you're not able to satisfy me, who knows?"

That special glint Natsu's eyes always had when he was about to compete with Gray was back.

"Ohh, you bet I am. Let's see who'll cum first, shall we?"

"You're on."

It was a game now, and Gray was determined as ever to win. He dropped to his knees again, just in time to fend off Natsu's hand which had been reaching out to touch Gray's crotch.

"Nice try, but it's my turn first. Let's see how you like my mouth on you," Gray said.

If Natsu was into dirty talk, then Gray wouldn't hesitate to use it against him. Natsu's boxers had dropped to the floor at some point, so Gray had free access to his balls. It was fascinating that even Natsu's pubic hair was pink, albeit a shade darker. He had only few fine hairs, and they didn't disturb Gray at all.

The musky scent that filled Gray's nose upon burying his face in Natsu's crotch sent shivers down his spine. This was _Natsu's_ scent. He loved it. A careful lick over Natsu's balls and the base of his cock told him that he also liked the taste of Natsu. The soft hum Natsu let out turned him on even more, and suddenly he couldn't wait to taste Natsu's pre-cum.

The plump tip was still dry, so Gray took it in his mouth and sucked with abandon. Natsu moaned loudly, and it wasn't long until a sweet liquid mingled with his saliva. Gray released Natsu with a wet _plop_ , continuing to pump his shaft with one hand until a bead of pre-cum formed at the tip. Gray licked his lips and then plunged his tongue into the slit, burning the exact taste of the pearly fluid into his mind.

 _This_ right now was what he'd always fantasize about when masturbating. If he got the chance to do it more often, that was fabulous, but he didn't want to rely on the possibility. He needed to make sure to remember every second of this, to etch it all into his memory.

Gray closed his eyes as he continued to appreciatively lick Natsu's cock, focusing only on his sense of hearing, taste, smell, and touch. It was nice that Natsu didn't try to hold back the erotic sounds he made, and soon his hands tangled into Gray's hair. Natsu seemed to enjoy having the corona of his tip licked, so Gray wrapped his lips around Natsu's cock and swirled his tongue around it, pleased with the clear reaction this earned him.

 _"Ah!_ Shit, stop that! I still want you inside me. I don't want to cum before that. You're making me feel way too good."

Smirking triumphantly, Gray licked one last time, pulled back and looked up at Natsu through his eyelashes.

Natsu's face was flushed, his eyes clouded with lust. "I'll give you that, your blowjob isn't half bad."

Gray cocked his head and blinked a few times, refusing to get back up just yet.

"Alright. It's fantastic. Satisfied?"

"Nearly."

"Yeah, okay. I give up. Satisfied _now_?"

"Very much."

"Then get your sexy ass up here so I can undress and touch it."

Gray complied all too happily. Natsu slammed him against the wall and crashed their lips together in an all-consuming kiss that was more a fight for dominance than anything else. A fight Natsu won by unfair methods. Namely, slipping his hands under Gray's shirt and caressing Gray's front and back.

Being undressed by Natsu was a delicate issue since every brush of skin against skin sent sparks of arousal right to Gray's groin, and Natsu made sure to seize any chance to touch, grope, and caress.

When Gray was naked except for his boxers, Natsu grinned at him mischievously.

"Since you marked me, how about I mark you, too?"

The idea of being marked by Natsu was arousing, but Gray didn't want the others to know of their _encounter._ What if he accidentally stripped like he so often did and everybody saw? They wouldn't leave him alone until he spat out who the lucky one was. Lying was not an option, since the mere thought of having sexual intercourse with anyone that was not Natsu turned his stomach. They'd conclude that the two of them were _romantically_ involved, and that was something he wouldn't be able to bear. Because he was almost sure that this would lead to revealing his true feelings sooner or later.

"Go ahead, but please... do it where my boxers will hide it."

Was it just Gray or did Natsu faintly tense up?

"You don't want people to know, huh?"

"Well... No need to let them know that we fucked, right? This is only between you and me."

Natsu grinned up at him whimsically. "Our dirty little secret?"

Time to throw in some sass again, or Natsu would think he'd lost his bite over the stuff they were doing.

"Yeah. Now put that sexy mouth of yours to good use, or do you want my cock to go soft again?"

"I bet that your cock will shoot _hard_ instantly every time you reme—"

He broke off abruptly and gulped. Gray couldn't see his expression since Natsu hung his head low and thus his hair blocked the sight, but the way Natsu held himself indicated that he didn't feel happy. What was going on? Gray wanted to ask, but a second later, Natsu beamed up at him. It was fake. What the _hell_ had just happened?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Sorry, I just... remembered something. But it's nothing, really."

Natsu leaned in and nudged his nose against Gray's clothed erection, his hands coming up to Gray's wristband, but there was no way they were doing this when Natsu wasn't feeling alright. Gray caught his wrists and pushed them back, together with Natsu's head. Then he flopped down on the grass, facing Natsu.

"I can see that it's not 'nothing'. We can stop anytime. You're not comfortable anymore, so let's end this now."

"N-no. We didn't even get to the good part yet... I'm fine, I swear!"

He didn't look fine at all. There was a slight tremor in his body, and his pupils were dilated, not out of lust but out of... fear? What the hell? Was he _scared_ of Gray all of a sudden? Repulsed? Did he feel guilty?

 _'Oh no. Don't tell me he already_ is _in a relationship with Lucy, and he was about to cheat on her...? No. God, no! This is Natsu we're talking about. He'd never in a million years do such a thing. Then what? Is he just freaking out because he's never done it with a guy before?'_

"You're not fine. Please tell me what's wrong."

"No. Can't we just continue? Let's forget this happened."

Natsu's cock had shrunk already. He wasn't aroused anymore, that much was obvious. Why Natsu still insisted on continuing was a mystery to Gray. Was he trying to cover something? Or forget something? Drown his sorrows?

"No, we can't. You're shaking... Would a hug help?"

Gray was aware that hugging wasn't something they usually did. It had the potential to reveal his feelings, especially with Natsu's heightened senses and them being so close, but right then Gray just didn't _care_. Natsu was suffering, and he'd do anything to ease the pain.

Natsu bit his lip, but gave a careful nod. Gray got to his knees again since Natsu was still kneeling, and then pulled him into a tight hug. Several seconds passed before Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray. He trembled slightly despite the summer heat, so Gray ran his hands soothingly up and down Natsu's back.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here. You can tell me if you want."

Natsu gulped. "M-my... last lover... died."

Gray tightened his grip. "Shit. I'm sorry."

There wasn't anything he could do about it, other than try to calm Natsu down. Was Natsu afraid of sex because of that? Did she perhaps die right after they had sex? And who was it? Gray didn't know any girl that died, other than Lisanna's fake death, but they'd gotten her back. Or was Natsu traumatized because of that? But then again, hadn't they just been in their early teens back then? And if she was his lover, why hadn't they gotten back together?

So many questions ran through his head, but he'd ask none of them. What Natsu needed the most now was comfort, not being reminded of painful past events.

"Can I ease your pain somehow?"

"S-stay with me... Don't go..."

That was something he could definitely do. With pleasure.

_'Wait. Talking of death and then saying "don't go"... That sounds suspiciously like he's afraid I'll die...?'_

"Natsu? Do you fear I might die if we have sex... or something?"

Natsu's grip tightened, pressing all the air out of Gray's lungs. That was a 'yes', then.

"I'm a strong mage. There's no way I would die that easily."

The reaction was the complete opposite of what Gray expected; Natsu pushed him away harshly, glaring at him in anger and reproach.

"Anyone could die at any given moment. That's not up to you to decide."

What the hell? Was he implying that he thought Gray _would_ die? Because of sex? What the _fuck_? Why did Natsu talk like this? What had gotten into him?

"Oh, but it's up to _you_ or what?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Okay, this was too much. Who was Natsu to say something like this? To belittle Gray, making him sound stupid. It was something Gray couldn't bear—somebody making him look like a child while acting almighty without explaining shit.

"And _you_ do?"

Natsu stared at him head-on with a determined and desperate expression.

"Yes, I do."

Gray was so shocked that he retreated several meters. What the _hell_ was wrong with Natsu? Had he hit his head?

"Cut the crap! You're out of your senses. And you're scaring me."

Was he mind-controlled? Had he lost it? Whatever it was, it scared the _shit_ out of Gray. The hurt look in Natsu's eyes was another thing that scared him. How could Natsu think that Gray would believe him? Wasn't this reaction to be expected? Sure, he did trust Natsu, but there was a limit. Maybe it was also due to his fear, but Natsu predicting his death didn't sound believable to him.

"I love you, Gray. I always have. The 'last lover' who died was you. The one who introduced me to dirty talk was also you."

Natsu crawled towards him with a forlorn expression. It was creepy. Gray had always expected to be overly happy when he heard these three words from Natsu, but with him saying all the other things that weren't true, he couldn't help but feel the very strong urge to flee.

When Natsu reached out for him, Gray jumped to his feet and shouted, "Don't touch me!"

Natsu looked like a beaten dog when he said, "But... I want to hug you." And he apparently didn't want to be stopped by Gray's words or actions, since he got up and tried to close the distance between them, no matter how many times Gray flinched backward and out of reach.

"Cut it out! I don't want to hug you. Stop it! And wear some clothes!"

It was useless. Natsu stumbled towards him no matter what he said or did. Out of sheer fear, Gray delivered a blow to Natsu's gut, whirled around and ran. He heard Natsu cough, but just then he just didn't have the nerve to be around him any longer. He'd send another guildmate to look after him and to get him to see sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the idea of writing an alternative smut version (threesome) of the last chapter: I haven't even thought about the possibility of including Jellal, but I like the idea very much~ So, if I write it, it's gonna be Gray/Natsu/Jellal.
> 
> The plot is slowly heating up (starting from next chapter)~ ^_^
> 
> Please tell me what you think of this chapter (and the story in general and maybe share your ideas about how the story might proceed), dear reader.


	17. Day 9 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to _Terror_! Here, enjoy your daily dosis of Gratsu Angst  <333
> 
> Still Gray's POV in the whole chapter.

As soon as Gray entered the guild hall, Lucy was before him. She looked worried and anxious.

"Where's Natsu?"

"He's outside. On the backside of the guild."

Lucy rounded him and wanted to make for the door, but Gray grabbed her wrist and whirled her around.

"Wait. He's... _different."_

"Different how?"

"I think he's... turned crazy. Lost his mind."

Lucy's eyes widened in horror and her hand came up to cover her mouth. Her eyes told him that she was expecting an explanation. But he wasn't ready to tell her. He nearly had _sex_ with Natsu, there was no way he'd tell this to _anyone._ It had to be a vague explanation.

"He said that I did some things I didn't do. He tried to make me believe that he could see the future, and he hinted that I would die...? It's creepy, honestly. He reached out for me, didn't stop even when I told him to. So I hit his stomach and ran away."

"You did _what?"_

 _Oh shit._ Lucy gave off some scary vibes. What had he done wrong?

"My voice didn't reach him anymore. It's as if his mind is controlled by somebody. He isn't the Natsu I know. He changed. You'll notice it, too."

_"And why didn't you ask him for an explanation?"_

"I..." Gray took a step back and let go of Lucy's hand. Her angry stare was too much, and he felt guilty even though he still thought that his reaction was reasonable.

"He's reliving this day for the ninth time now. He's seen you die eight times already. Ultear turns back time, and nobody but him can retain their memory. He's trying to save your life, but until now he hasn’t been successful. _Can you even imagine what he must be going through?_ He doesn't need you to add insult to injury."

Gray flinched, his head spinning. He needed a moment to understand what she'd just said, torn between feeling extremely guilty and doubting her. But what reason did she have to lie? She looked seriously troubled, and she wasn't the kind of person to play pranks. However, her explanation had a flaw.

"If nobody remembers, then how would _you_ know? Have you already talked to him today?"

"No, but he has a diary which has been enchanted by Ultear, and he let me rip out some pages the previous time. I wrote down everything that's important and put it on my desk. It stays there even though time is turned back. I wrote down that Natsu's mental state is unstable, and that we have to take care of him. I can't _believe_ what you did to him."

With that, she stormed off, leaving a dumbfounded Gray behind.

 _'What the hell? Ultear? Natsu trying to save my life? This is the_ ninth _time? Natsu's mental state... unstable? True, he did seem out of it, but this...? Oh my god, if that's true then that means... I'll die... Holy shit! I have less than a day left to live!'_

Gray wobbled outside the guild and leaned against the façade. He clutched his chest, trying hard to prevent himself from having a panic attack, reasoning that he wasn't going to _stay_ dead.

 _'That's right. Natsu's trying his best to save me. He's in a bad mental state because of this. He's been through so much pain and heartache, yet he's not giving up. Shit! I'm such a fool! What the_ hell _did I just do? I'm despicable! Natsu... oh god, I'm so sorry... Fuck!'_

Still a bit wobbly, he went to the backside of the guild hall, finding Natsu—still naked—in Lucy's arms. She patted his head soothingly and when she noticed Gray approaching, she shot him a venomous glare.

He didn't let himself be held back by it, determined to make up for his actions. Because if what she said was true, then everything Natsu said had to be true as well. And he'd said that he was in love with Gray—no matter how hard to grasp this was—and that they'd already had sex. It would explain Natsu's confident demeanor earlier. He'd _known_ that Gray wouldn't refuse. Hell, they'd probably even talked about exactly this situation already.

Upon getting closer, Gray noticed little sniffs coming from Natsu. He made him cry. _Shit._

"You've already done enough. Leave him alone," Lucy bit out.

Natsu stiffened in her arms and then turned his head carefully until his gaze met Gray's. Natsu's eyes were red and teary.

Gray took another tentative step forward, hoping that he wouldn't scare Natsu. Lucy bared her teeth at him, tightening her grip on Natsu protectively. Gray had never seen her be that scary.

"Relax, Lucy. I'm here to apologize."

"I swear, if you dare hurt him again, I'll—"

"If I dare hurt him again, I'll surrender myself to you and Erza. I'll be careful, I promise. There's no way I'd ever intentionally hurt the one I love..."

Her eyebrows creased, and she inspected Gray's features closely. She seemed to be satisfied with what she found there because she sagged against Natsu, her expression softening tangibly.

"Fine. Then talk."

Natsu turned his body fully towards Gray, but Lucy seemed unwilling to let him go. Her arms were still around him, now hugging him from behind while Natsu sat between her legs. His knees were drawn so that his private parts were covered. They both looked at Gray expectantly, remnants of Natsu's tears still running down his cheeks. This was very awkward. Gray wanted to be alone with Natsu, but he'd probably have to convince Lucy of his good intentions first.

He sat on the ground two steps away from them. "Natsu... I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'm sure you already know, but... You're the most important person to me."

Gray gulped and looked nervously at Lucy who gave him an encouraging nod. However, this was getting too private for Gray's liking.

"Err... No offense, but could you please leave us alone?"

Lucy's expression clearly said that she wanted to object, but Natsu patted her hand. "It's okay. You can leave us alone," he assured her. "It was my fault anyway."

"How can you say that? _Gray_ didn't believe you."

"No. I know from experience that he doesn't believe me unless I give him a logical explanation and I didn't do that this time. Everything that happens is caused by me because I am the only one who remembers and thus the only one who can change the events."

Lucy let out a heavy sigh. "Well, yeah, but even so... Gray could've reacted more mildly."

"He said he's sorry, and I know he'll take good care of me like he's done all the other times. Please go now."

"Okay, okay. If there's anything you need me for, I'll be there."

She released him and got to her feet, strode over to where Natsu's discarded clothes lay scattered, picked them up, and dropped them into Natsu's lap. She shot Gray a warning glare and then went back inside.

Not wanting to scare Natsu any more than he probably already had, Gray stayed where he was. Now that Lucy was gone, his nervousness spiked. He cleared his throat, noticing that his hands were sweaty and trembled slightly. He folded them firmly together and pressed them into his lap, hoping that Natsu wouldn't notice.

What exactly made him nervous, he couldn't tell. Whether it was the fact that he'd die if this was true, or because he was worried about Natsu's wellbeing, or even because he couldn't quite believe yet that his feelings were reciprocated, he didn't know. Probably a mixture of everything. What he _did know_ was that this was a delicate issue, and he needed to go about it carefully. Steeling himself mentally, he looked up and met Natsu's red-rimmed eyes.

"So... everything she said is true, and you're reliving the day?"

Natsu nodded, biting his lip.

What to say next? This was like walking on a mine field. What exactly could he bring up that wouldn't make Natsu sad? Or worse, give him a panic attack? Was that even a thing? Was it already that bad? According to Lucy, this was the ninth time and Natsu had seen him die _eight times_ already. No matter how much Gray tried, he couldn't even begin to imagine how _he_ would feel like if he'd already seen Natsu die _eight times_. His head spun with the mere thought of it, and suddenly his throat felt constricted, leaving him unable to say even one more word.

"Come here... if you want to, that is," Natsu said in a soft tone, reaching out for Gray, but not moving from his spot. He gave Gray the choice to get closer this time. A pang of guilt and regret surged through Gray's body, making him want to flinch—a reaction he suppressed with difficulty. It would make Natsu draw the wrong conclusion and that was something he wanted to strictly avoid.

Gray crawled toward Natsu, entwining their hands as soon as they came into reach. He knew that Natsu was technically still naked, but at least the clothes Lucy had dumped on him covered his crotch. So, Gray didn't think twice before crawling into Natsu's lap and pushing him gently backward until Natsu was caught between the soft grass and Gray's body, their fingers still entangled.

Natsu's eyes were shiny from the tears, and he looked utterly _broken_. There were so many emotions in his eyes, all negative. Guilt, sadness, hurt, doubt, grief, fatigue. How had he been able to mask them all, earlier?

"Gray... I'm sorry for what happened. I should've known better."

"Don't apologize. I should've... I shouldn't have... I mean, my behavior was... _totally_ uncalled for... _I'm_ sorry. So sorry..."

Natsu didn't show any sign that he'd heard him. Instead, he asked, "Do you still trust me?"

Gray kicked himself mentally because he'd always thought his trust in Natsu to be unshakable. And yet he'd doubted Natsu's sanity just a few minutes ago. What a jerk he was!

"Yes, I do."

"I might have an idea how to save your life, but it would require blind faith..."

"Let's hear it."

Natsu bit his lip, turning his head sideways to avoid Gray's gaze when he spoke.

"The first two times, someone killed you... And from the third day on, you always died of a heart attack, always at the exact same time... That means the cause of your death varies depending on the circumstances. Or maybe there are just those two options. In order to find out, we'd have to take a shot at it."

"Meaning?"

Natsu gulped, then turned his head back, meeting Gray's stare head-on. "What I want to say is that I'd like to create a potentially deadly situation for you when the time has come, only to save you in the last second. To kinda... trick fate? It's just a shot in the dark though."

That was indeed... special. The idea of purposely endangering his life seemed absurd. He hadn't yet fully wrapped his head around the fact that he _was_ going to die in the first place, and now he should do something to forward the issue? To commit suicide? Or nearly commit suicide. Was that even possible?

"What gave you that idea?"

This question wasn't something Gray deemed worthy blushing about, but Natsu blushed anyway.

"Uh... we _nearly_ had sex earlier... And my behavior was what prevented it from happening. So, I wondered... What if I could do the same with your death? I can't prevent a heart attack, so there's nothing to do there. But the first two times were different, yet there's no chance I could save you from that if it ever were to happen again. I thought, if fate has an alternative cause of death planned for you, something where I _could_ step in..."

"Okay. What makes you so sure that it's _fate_ causing my death?"

"I'm not sure. It's a shot in the dark. Maybe you're cursed. But on the fourth day, Porlyusica said something... 'The death of somebody whose time on earth is over can't be averted.' It implied fate."

"She told you something like that and you didn't ask what she meant by it?"

Natsu flinched, a shadow passing over his face. Uh-oh. He'd been too harsh. Shit, this was difficult. Gray wasn't used to dealing with a mentally unstable Natsu. Was there any way to take it back, to ease Natsu's pain?

"I-it was shortly after y-your... death... I w-wasn't—"

"Shhh. Shit, I'm sorry. Forget that I asked. Shit. Shhh, I'm right here, focus on me, look me in the eye. Hey... Don't cry. We'll find a way. How about we go to Porlyusica's and ask her? I have to admit, I'm reluctant to put my life on the line voluntarily. That has nothing to do with my trust in you, it's just... I'm not suicidal. I would never throw my life away. I'm not sure if I could... commit suicide."

The sniffling slowly subsided, and Gray felt the strong urge to kiss Natsu. To comfort him, to let him _feel_ he was there. He wasn't sure Natsu would appreciate such a thing though, so he stopped himself.

"I'm n-not asking you to commit s-suicide. W-well, not directly, anyway."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. We'll have to think about something... suitable. Sorry. I know that's too much to ask... I... I'm sorry. It's probably a stupid idea anyway... I guess I'm just clinging to the tiniest of hopes. Otherwise I'd probably lose my mind."

"That's understandable. What do you think of my proposal to go to Porlyusica?"

With the back of his hand, Natsu rubbed the remnants of his tears away, and then looked at Gray with a determined expression. "Yeah. Let's do that."

They got dressed quickly, and only when they wanted to head towards the guild did Gray notice that Natsu had discarded the vibrator as it was lying out in the open, albeit partly hidden by the grass, but still.

"Natsu, your toy."

"Huh? Oh, that. Yeah, let's just leave it here. It'll return to my room anyway."

"But it's out in the open. What if somebody sees?" Gray felt heat creeping into his cheeks when he thought of somebody finding it there, still slick with lube.

For some reason, Natsu smirked when he answered, "Now we wouldn't want that, right?"

He picked it up, hesitated a moment, and then his grin widened. Gray felt like he was missing something here. His suspicion was confirmed when Natsu took up a straddle-legged position.

Natsu shouted, "Shut up, would you?" and then threw the vibrator into the bushes.

Gray was baffled and wanted to ask who the hell Natsu was addressing, but in the next second he was grabbed by the wrist and prompted to _run_. Half running, half stumbling, he kept pace with Natsu until they reached Porlyusica's.

They leaned against the façade to catch their breath, when Natsu suddenly burst out laughing.

It was refreshing to see him laugh, but also a bit scary since there was a hysteric touch to the outburst. Should Gray ask Porlyusica if she had tranquilizers? Although that wouldn't make much sense, seeing as the effect would wear off anyway once the day started anew.

After the laughing fit subsided, Natsu sank to the floor, holding his stomach, trying to catch his breath. Gray decided that he didn't need to wait until Natsu could breathe evenly again, and knocked at Porlyusica's door. It took her a while, and he needed to knock insistently several times until she opened the door a crack.

_"What? You don't look ill. Go away."_

"Nobody's _ill_ —well, at least not physically. We need your advice."

Porlyusica stuck out her head and sniffed at Gray, scrunching up her nose. "You reek of sex. Don't worry, you can't get pregnant. If you want to have your girl tested, you should bring her here. Now, if that's all, would y—"

"My _girl_ is right here, but that's not what we're here for."

Gray stepped aside, revealing Natsu. Her eyes widened.

"Well, in this case I can safely say that neither of you is pregnant."

"Yes, _thank you._ Can we come in for a bit? We really need your help."

"Take a shower and then come back."

She tried to slam the door, but Gray managed to slide his foot in, regretting doing so the next instant. Damn, that woman was stronger than she looked. Gray's foot _hurt,_ but there was no way he'd let it show and give her satisfaction.

"This is a serious issue. We don't have time. _Let us in, please."_

Porlyusica shot him a glare, but Gray held it without blinking. After a short staring duel, she sighed and stepped aside to let them in. Natsu had thankfully returned to the current situation with his full attention, not a trace of mirth in his eyes anymore. He was back to being gloomy. Were such massive mood swings a sign of mental instability? It had to be. There was no way Natsu would behave like this under normal circumstances. Gray would really have to be careful in his handling of Natsu.

It turned out that Porlyusica didn't have any concrete information on the matter. She just referred to a very old tale she once picked up somewhere, and when Natsu told her what happened on the evening of the fourth repetition, she frowned and was lost in thought for a while.

Gray noticed that Natsu's gaze wasn't focused on anything in the room—he stared blankly into space. Not knowing what else to do, Gray reached out and gave Natsu's hand a tight squeeze, entangling their fingers. It worked, albeit only temporarily. Natsu gave him a weak smile that was surely meant to be reassuring, but it wasn't convincing at all. Gray was about to say something encouraging, but Porlyusica beat him to the punch.

"If what you say is true and his magic vanished at once the moment he died, then I don't see any way to save him. Magic is needed for a mage to live. His death can't be natural. Normally magic slowly seeps out after the death of a mage. Trying to revive a mage who has no more magic left inside their body is pointless."

Natsu looked at her with a grim expression. "That's why I need to _prevent_ his death before it happens. I already tried to revive him once, and you did, too. But what I didn't really try yet was to intervene before he dies, experiment with the causes of death." Natsu flinched, probably aware of how that sounded.

 _A guinea pig._ But then again, there was no helping it, was there? The only way to make any progress was to try out things, even if that meant to make Gray feel like a test subject. The current conversation did its share to convince Gray of the truth of this belief. Whether he wanted or not, he _would die_. The awareness hit him once again square in the gut.

_'My time is over. Natsu is working his ass off to save me, and all I'm doing is put obstacles in his way. Shit. He's already broken. Broken because of me dying. I have no right to judge him or his behavior in any way. He's offering up his sanity to save me. The least I can do is to trust him and follow his instructions.'_

Gray straightened himself, took Natsu's hand between his own, and pulled it into his lap protectively. "It's alright. I'll do it. Whatever it is, I'll do it. I trust you with my life."

Porlyusica let out a grunt that could mean anything from disgusted to approving. "Well, in the tale they had only one chance to prevent the death of the princess. They weren't lucky enough to have a time mage who can turn back time as often as needed. The princess was murdered with a knife the first time, so they locked her up in a cell and reinforced the guards. She slipped on a slippery spot on the floor in the cell and fell very unluckily. She broke her neck and died. Strange though that there _was_ no slippery spot when they checked a few minutes later. And the moral of this story is that you can't trick death. Or destiny. Or whatever you want to call it. However, there is not enough research on the issue to be able to exclude options. And this is just a tale anyway. Nobody knows if it's true."

Natsu practically jumped at the implication, his face brightening instantly. "You mean it could work?"

Seeing him like this, suddenly in high spirits elicited conflicting feelings in Gray. On the one hand, it was good that his mood was positive again, but on the other, it was probably wise not to let Natsu get his hopes too high. The fall would be all the more painful if it didn't work. Which, judging by the current state of information, seemed very likely. Gray hated it but crushing Natsu's hopes right now would be for the best.

However, Porlyusica beat him to it. "I think the odds that your theory is right are very low. If I were you, I'd prepare to be disappointed."

Natsu's face fell, but only for a second. "Nobody knows that. Not even you. You said it yourself. The causes of death until now were something I couldn't prevent no matter how much I tried. We just have to create a situation, a physical attack, something I could dodge in the last second. We could trick fate or whatever into thinking that Gray will die by the physical attack, and then I'll step in and cheat it out of Gray's life."

It was kind of cute, the way Natsu's eyes glistened. Like a child at Christmas, looking forward to its presents. No matter how loudly Gray's inner voice protested, he couldn't bring himself to destroy this moment for Natsu. Not even Porlyusica seemed to be that heartless, and so neither of them said anything on the topic anymore.

To think of a situation that was suitable turned out to be rather difficult. They quickly came to the conclusion that it had to be something out of both Natsu's and Gray's control. Or at least not something they could fully control because neither thought that they could actually pull it off convincingly. Plus, it wouldn't really count as 'stepping in in the last second' because it would've been planned from the start. And what would make a situation somewhat unpredictable? The only choice seemed to be another person who wasn't in on the plan.

Gray thought this to be the perfect opportunity to ask about the mysterious person they'd fled from earlier, and Natsu told him that it was Jellal following them. He was the one who kept Ultear informed. He'd apparently complained about being their babysitter and having to witness something that would give him eye cancer, which had prompted Natsu to throw his toy into Jellal's general direction, not intending to land a hit. Of course, he'd still hit, at least judging by Jellal complaints as he chased them to Porlyusica's.

Natsu heavily protested Gray's idea of involving Jellal in their plan, because he didn't want to affect Jellal's neutrality in any way. Their guild members were beyond dispute since neither wanted to make their friends do something that would probably harm Gray. There was a short silence, and then Natsu reluctantly offered the idea of involving their 'enemies'. He shortly described their looks and personality, and immediately said he would in no way allow Gray or anyone else to fight against Bubbles since his magic was what killed Gray the first two times.

Natsu froze in the middle of describing Bubbles' magic, inhaling sharply as if he had a flash of insight. "I... I might have a plan... Gray, how much detail do you want to know? Do you think you could dig your own grave when you know exactly what will happen?"

That was a reasonable question indeed. _Did_ he _really_ want to know? Would it be easier to follow instructions if the outcome was unclear to him? Probably.

"I don't want to know. Just tell me exactly what to do, and I'll do it."

Gray was scared as hell, and he didn't manage to mask it all that well. His voice sounded shaky and croaky. _Shit._ This was getting real, wasn't it? No going back. Not that there ever _was_ a going back, but the current situation made everything more tangible. It was a miracle that Gray heard Natsu talking over the noise of his own blood rushing in his ears.

"Okay. Then I won't tell you about the other's magic. We'll go on that mission without Gajeel and Pantherlily, we'll match you up with the same opponent, delay your fight a bit so it matches the time of your death, and you're gonna use a different strategy. You're gonna fight that girl, Ichika. You'll create many ice swords in the air, and shoot them at her..." Natsu gulped, obviously struggling with his next words. "Make sure to... make them... sharp. That's all. After you launched them, you may want to close your eyes. I-in any case, d-don't... don't defend yourself... just stay where you are."

It was very hard for him to think of something like this, that much was clear. Thinking of a strategy to kill the one he _loved..._ It must be devastating. To show him that it was alright, that Gray trusted him, he brought their entwined fingers to his lips and kissed the back of Natsu's hand.

Porlyusica let out a disgusted groan and asked if there were any more questions she could help with, the undertone clearly saying, 'If that's all, then leave me alone now.' Unable to think of any additional ways she could help, they bid their goodbyes and left for the guild.

***

Upon entering the guild hall, Juvia threw herself into Gray's arms, crying like a waterfall, begging him not to die. He didn't have time to react and stop her, and Natsu apparently thought it was okay, seeing as he kindly stepped aside. Gray hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, patting her back.

"Shhh. It's okay, I'm sure Natsu will find a way—"

"J-Juvia wants to h-help, too! Juvia can't stand the thought of Gray-sama dying! _Please!"_

"I don't think there's anything you can do though..."

"No! Juvia wants to help."

Gray looked over to Natsu, intending to silently beg him to help, but Natsu was already there, his hand on Juvia's shoulder.

"Juvia. Please believe me when I say that there's nothing you can help with. I already have a plan, and as much as I hate to say it, I think you would be in the way."

Juvia's wailing only intensified. "B-but N-Natsu-san... Wh-why w-would y-you say s-s-something l-like that?"

True, it was a harsh thing to say, but Gray had to admit that Natsu had a point. Juvia's behavior would probably be overprotective if they took her on the mission. He could easily picture her wanting to prevent him from fighting, taking the enemy on in his stead. And she sure as hell wouldn't agree with a plan that was supposed to purposely _endanger_ his life.

His shirt was already mostly soaked from her tears, and he wanted nothing more than to get away from her. Naturally, he didn't like to see her crying, but he knew nothing could make her stop now, not when she knew that his life was nearly over. He didn't have the nerve to think of something to say that could possibly calm her down a bit; his own problems already made his head spin, leaving little space to think of anything else.

Natsu looked just as lost as Gray felt. Thankfully, Lucy approached them and undertook the task of soothing Juvia, managing to make her let go of Gray and hug Lucy instead. The whole calming down business took quite a while, and Natsu patiently waited with his lecture until Lucy was available.

It wasn't that long, seeing as Lucy had already roughly informed the guild of the events. Although she'd apparently left out the fact of Natsu and Gray being a couple, judging by Juvia's behavior.

Explaining why they wouldn't take Gajeel and Pantherlily on the mission was a difficult endeavor, especially since Natsu and Gray had agreed that they shouldn't let their friends in on their plan. What did the trick in the end was Natsu telling them that he'd possibly found a solution but needed them to place their trust in him.

The rest of the morning passed rather uneventfully, other than Natsu being extremely clingy. He had no qualms with kissing Gray in front of their whole guild, much to Juvia's dismay. She tried to pry Gray out of his hands, but Natsu fended her off and gave her a lecture on how to behave _'when your loved one doesn't love you back'_. Why exactly he reacted this strongly to Juvia now when he'd let her hug Gray before was a mystery to Gray, but then again, he must've had enough of her theatrics when it came to this. There was no way this was the first time she didn't want to accept their relationship. When Gray assured Juvia that he was indeed in love with Natsu, that he hadn't been forced into doing anything, and she would do him a huge favor if she just let it go, she stormed off, crying.

***

Natsu seemed to be mostly back to his usual self when they rode the train to their mission, giving last-minute instructions to everyone on how to behave. Wendy excused herself first when she felt the effect of Troia wear off, and Natsu used the opportunity to lead Gray away from their friends, to the other end of the wagon. They spent the few minutes writing a short diary entry, with Natsu covering the previous ones. He said that Gray shouldn't read them since they contained information on their enemies' magic. After they finished writing, they proceeded to kissing and groping until Natsu's motion sickness kicked in.

***

Their enemies were exactly the way Natsu had described them. Not that Gray needed any final proof to be convinced of the truth of Natsu's story, but this would have been it. There was no denying that Natsu knew what was going to happen.

Throughout the whole course of events, Gray's attention was focused on the female mage, Ichika. He tried to take her measure, but she was mysterious. Cheerful and tough on the outside, but she appeared to be shrewd. She was probably the kind of person to befriend easily, regardless of whether she liked someone. Gray had the feeling that if she didn't like you, she might just stab you in the back when you weren’t paying attention for a second.

They reached the area where the fights would take place shortly after six-forty, and Gray's nervousness had reached its peak by then, to the point where he'd rather describe it as 'panic'. He couldn't take his eyes off Ichika, trying desperately to figure out what type of magic she wielded, but it was useless. Natsu's attempts at distraction were futile, whether it was squeezing his hand or a peck on his lips.

Erza's 'fight' against their healer, Yushin, ended before it began, much to her surprise. She tripped and landed face first on the grass. Natsu nervously checked his watch when Bubbles urged them on to start the next fight.

It was still too early, seeing as Natsu yanked Gray in by the collar, whispered, "We need to stall this fight a bit longer," and then pressed their lips together hungrily.

Ichika whistled and clapped loudly. "Oh my, oh my. That afraid to lose your sweetheart?"

Natsu didn't pay her any attention. He was too busy kissing Gray senseless, and it actually helped to calm Gray's nerves a bit.

The one to wrench them apart some moments later was Erza. Her face was flushed, her expression angry. "Don't you think there are more important matters to take care of now?"

Yeah, right. They hadn't explained after all. For anyone beside him and Natsu this must look like a desperate goodbye kiss, and maybe it _was._ Natsu had told him that his time of death was 7:03.

_'Less than ten minutes to live... Oh god.'_

Gray's knees gave in and he sank to the floor, trembling like an aspen leaf. Natsu was by his side in an instant, loudly asking their enemies to give them a few minutes. He shot Erza a glare, telling her to leave them alone and _trust_ them. She flinched, saying that she hadn't known that this was a part of the plan, and then retreated, leaving them alone.

Gray's head was spinning and his heart racing. Was he about to have a panic attack? How did something like that even feel like? His sight was blurry, and he barely registered Natsu's warm arms wrapping around him, pulling him closer. Only when his nose was pressed into Natsu's scarf and the distinctive scent he'd come to love invaded his senses, he got a grip of reality again. Natsu rubbed soothing circles over his back, nudging Gray's forehead with his nose.

Natsu cocked his head so that his mouth was right next to Gray's ear and then whispered, "It's okay, I'm here. I won't let you die, I promise. Please, trust me. I'll do anything to protect you."

"I... I know. Sorry. I'm alright now."

"Sure?"

"Yeah. How much time left?"

Natsu shifted a bit, checking his watch. "Five minutes. I'd say we delay the fight another three minutes. Is there something I can do to make it easier for you?"

How did he even have the nerve to ask such a thing? Gray expected Natsu to be freaking out just as much as himself, if not even more. However, Natsu was as calm and confident as ever. He _believed_ in this plan.

Gray desperately prayed for it to work the way Natsu planned because if not, Natsu would be _destroyed._ Knowing him, he didn't even think about the possibility of this failing. But was it wise to bring up the topic again, with the fight just around the corner? Probably not. It would also increase Gray's anxiety, and if that happened, he wasn't so sure he would be able to concentrate and cast proper ice swords.

So instead, Gray went for, "It's okay. I trust you."

Natsu hugged him tighter, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you. Once this is over, let's move in together. I want to wake up by your side every morning, fall asleep in your arms every night."

Gray's pulse went up again, and not only from the sappiness of Natsu's proposal. Him saying such things could only mean that their time was up.

"Yes. I want that, too. I love you, too."

It was time. Gray's stomach churned as he stepped forward, signaling Ichika that he was ready. She made a sly remark Gray didn't bother paying attention to.

The first few seconds neither of them moved when eventually Ichika made a beckoning gesture. Gray took a deep breath, and then took up his Ice Make stance.

_'You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Breathe. Concentrate. Make them sharp.'_

"Ice Make: Swords!"

Dozens of swords appeared in the air before him, and he didn't hesitate to launch them all at once at Ichika. She smirked, and shortly before they reached her, they halted and turned around.

_'Don't defend yourself. Let it happen. Natsu is here. Natsu will save me.'_

Gray couldn't hear anything beside his own heartbeat anymore. He saw the sharp blades quickly approaching him, but his mind had already disconnected from the real world. His feet wouldn't move even if he wanted them to. The only thing he could do was watch as his death approached rapidly, in the form of his own creation. Wasn't it beautiful to die like this, by ice he'd created?

Only that the swords wouldn't hit him like this. She'd directed them to inflict mere superficial wounds, not lethal ones. They were nearly there, when Gray was shoved to the side, and before the nearest sword pierced his chest, he heard a heartbreaking cry next to him.

_'Natsu.'_

His chest hurt. It felt as if his lung was pierced and his heart too.

_'It wasn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take 0.5 seconds to leave kudos if you like the story (if you haven't already)! And if you have even more time, please leave a comment~ It means so much to me!
> 
> It's not strictly necessary, but you can go read Natsu's diary entry for day nine now.


	18. Day 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whole day in one chapter again, wohooo! The shortest chapter of the whole fic!
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> **Trigger warning for this chapter: Suicide!**
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> This was originally planned as a 'joker chapter' for myself if I ever have a writer's block and don't want to endanger the weekly updates. It somehow evolved into a key chapter plot-wise.
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> I may sound like Satan if I say 'enjoy', so I'll go ahead and do it: _Enjoy!_

Natsu's eyes opened wide the second he awoke, staring blankly at the white ceiling.

_'I killed him.'_

He didn't have the energy to scream or cry anymore; he'd done all those things after he'd killed Gray. It was no use. No amount of screaming or crying would erase his guilt.

_'I killed the one I love, the one I swore to protect. He said he trusted me. I betrayed his trust.'_

Natsu felt despicable. Promising Gray to save his life and then doing the exact opposite. He didn't deserve to live, didn't have the right to see Gray ever again. He was unworthy of Gray's love. Unworthy of living.

This had to end. Anybody else would be better suited for this task.

Natsu turned onto his side, grabbing the diary and a pen. He put the key onto his bedside table. He wouldn't need it anymore.

_To Jellal and Ultear,_

_When you read this, I will be dead. Please respect my last wish: Keep it that way. Overwrite the point of return by another one at around nine. Give the task of saving Gray to somebody else. I killed Gray. I can't do this._

So this was it. Natsu never would've thought that his life would end like this. He never would've thought he'd one day be responsible for Gray's death. Not only because he'd actively killed him the previous time, but because he hadn't been able to prevent it the other eight times as well. And he wouldn't ever be. He was guilty. He deserved nothing less than death.

Without bothering to get dressed, he opened his window as silently as he could, not wanting to wake Happy. He wandered around barefoot, only in his boxers. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. His destination was Fairy Hills. There were some high cliffs. One of those would do.

His mind replayed the scene of him pushing Gray into his own sword over and over again until he reached the edge of a cliff that he deemed high enough.

_'Sorry, Gray. I know this won't be easy for you, but I hope you'll get over my death eventually. Maybe reading what I've done to you will make it easier. I hope it does. Goodbye, my only love.'_

Natsu closed his eyes and took a step forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The End.**
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> Just kidding.
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> I know it's usually not _that_ important to read the diary entry since it normally only sums up the day, but this time it is imperative that you read it (and feed me with exact descriptions of your reaction/feels).


	19. Day 11 Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the last chapter, then this one shouldn't be a problem for you. If you skipped the last chapter because of the trigger warning (which wouldn't be a problem because it basically just contains Natsu committing suicide), then I'm not sure if this chapter might be triggering for you as well. It contains suicidal thoughts, especially at the beginning. Proceed with caution.
> 
> **IMPORTANT!!! Especially for the non-registered reader Mags who commented on the last chapter:** I know reading author's notes is dull and everything, but when it comes to this fic, especially the end notes are important (at least in chapters when a day ends). Please, at least just skim them. I always tell you when to read the diary entries, and they **belong to the fic**. Whether or not Natsu really died wasn't open for interpretation (nor was it a cliffhanger). It was all in the diary entry that you should have read after the chapter.
> 
> Before I even started writing this fic, I thought about where to put the Diary text. Since AO3 allows a writer to create a series, I decided to do it like this, so that I and the readers could look up the _rough_ plot later on without having to reread 200k words or search the diary text in the main chapters. I still think this decision was for the best. It's organized and it already helped me find certain events in the chapters many times.
> 
> Also, because it's long ago and some people might have forgotten: Ultear keeps a diary, just like Natsu. That's why she 'remembers' the most important stuff. She and Jellal have a communication lacrima, so that's how he's informed pretty much right away if there's something wrong.

"Come to me..."

"You are ready."

"I can help you now."

Was he dead? Was this was being dead felt like? Hearing voices?

"You were very brave."

It sounded like a female voice. An angel?

"You have a pure heart."

No, that part wasn't true. However, he couldn't answer. He didn't have a physical body.

"Salamander. Natsu Dragneel. You are ready now. Come to me."

Was it only one person talking? Or many?

"Can you hear me?"

'Yes,' he wanted to say but he couldn't. It was strange though that he could _see_ something when he didn't have eyes. A woman appeared right before him. She had long blond hair, a gentle smile on her lips. She seemed familiar.

"Come to me. Alone or with your beloved one."

'My beloved one isn't here. He's still in the world of the living,' he wanted to say.

The smile of the woman grew more tender. "He is with you. You love him after all. He will always be with you."

_'Gray... don't tell me you're also dead... permanently?'_

"If not physically, he will be with you in your heart."

Oh, so that was what she meant.

"Promise you will come to me."

Why promise? Could somebody who was dead still keep promises? He'd failed so many of the promises he'd given. He couldn't be trusted with keeping them anymore. Besides, he was already right before her.

"Not in this realm. Come to me in the real world."

What was the real world? Was there even such a thing as a 'real world' for the dead?

"You are not dead. I can help you. Please come to me."

_Not dead?_ Had Ultear not granted him his last wish? Didn't she know that she couldn't force somebody to live? Natsu had committed suicide once. He could do it again.

"What she did was right. You can save your beloved one now."

Save Gray? How should he be able to save him?

"Come to me. Promise."

Who was this woman? She seemed _so_ familiar. And why did Natsu feel like he was drawn to her?

She held out her hand. "You know me. You promised something to me and you kept it. Now that your first promise is fulfilled, I want you to promise something else. Come to me. Please."

Natsu stretched out his hand, surprised to find that he _had_ one. He jerked shortly before they touched, but when his gaze met hers, the hesitation was gone. They shook hands.

'I promise. I'll come to you. I'll save Gray.'

"I take you at your word. I am waiting for you, Natsu Dragneel."

She nodded and then shoved him backward.

***

Natsu jolted upright in his bed, panting heavily, the strange feeling of falling slowly fading. His whole body was shaking, and he couldn't even bring his hands to wipe the sweat from his forehead—instead, he ended up punching himself in the face.

"Ouch..."

_'Useless body.'_

He lowered his hand and looked around. His room was as untidy as always, but what caught his eye was the locked diary on his bedside table. Everything seemed so real. The stench of his own sweat, the pain in his face, the sheets. This couldn't possibly be a dream or the realm of the dead. So it was real then and Ultear hadn't respected his last wish.

If the circumstances were any different, Natsu would've become seriously angry at her. However, with the prospect of being able to save Gray's life this time, his spirits were revived. He pushed aside all thoughts that weren't directly related with his goal of saving Gray.

Since there was no way Natsu was going to save Gray while smelling like a gym locker room, he needed to take a shower first.

***

Just as Natsu stood in the middle of his bathroom, drying himself with his flames, he heard the door to his house bang open. He closed his eyes, listening closely and trying to identify the intruder. Before he even had the chance to process that the person was coming closer at a rapid pace, his bathroom door was kicked open, revealing a frantic looking Gray.

"Nats—oh."

_Oh?_ Oh, right! He was still naked. Natsu grabbed the nearest towel, wrapped it around his hips, and tied it in a makeshift knot.

Gray was out of breath and flustered, but he neither backed off nor took his eyes off Natsu.

_'Why is he here? He's never come to my house before. Did Lucy send him? But it's a bit too early for that. She's in the shower at seven. It can't be any later than twenty past seven. What happened yesterday? After my death...'_

Natsu had to look away. He couldn't stand this strong feeling of guilt, couldn't look Gray in the eye. He felt that he shouldn't even be around Gray anymore, yet there was probably no way he'd be able to save him without being near him, right? He'd have to endure it, if only for a while longer. When Gray was saved and time didn't loop anymore, Natsu could atone for all he'd done.

"Jellal told me you're suicidal and that I need to check on you _immediately_. He wouldn't explain anything to me, he just said it would be too late if I don't run. What _the hell_ is going on?"

Oh, great. That left Natsu with the task of explaining _everything_ all over _again._ Because if he didn't, then Gray wouldn't believe him. That much was painfully clear since the morning of that fateful day when he'd tried to have sex with Gray without confessing.

He sighed. "Let's sit down somewhere. This will be a long story."

They decided on Natsu's bed since every other surface that was originally meant to be used for sitting was cluttered.

Natsu got the standard explanations over with, clumsily trying to leave out the fact that he and Gray had become lovers, but Gray noticed that something was off when Natsu was halfway through. It was bound to happen, with Natsu flinching and cutting off his sentences regularly. He wanted to wiggle his way out of the question, but Gray didn't let him.

"Come on, I can see that you're hiding something. Whatever it is, please tell me. I want to understand all of it. I won't judge you."

_'Of course you won't. You'll like this part, and that's the problem. I'm not good for you, and you shouldn't want me of all people.'_

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It's not important for the story anyway."

"It's important to _you_ , I can see that much. Please. I beg you."

Gray lowered his head, indicating a bow. This movement brought his head much closer to Natsu. If Natsu just stretched out his hand a bit, he could touch Gray's soft hair, his face...

_'Cut the crap! You killed him. Get this over with, save him, and then get the fuck away from him! If you confess this time, he'll know and won't forget. He won't leave you alone. He'll find excuses for everything, he'll reason that you didn't do anything wrong when you clearly did.'_

However, his body wasn't listening. His heart hurt so much it was unbearable. Only when his hand softly touched Gray's cheek did he notice what he'd done. Was there any way this could be mistaken for a friend's touch? Friends didn't caress each other's cheeks, did they? Natsu certainly didn't.

Gray sucked in a sharp breath at the contact and didn't move for a moment. Why couldn't Natsu just stop caressing? He was despicable, indulging in his feelings like he had every right to.

Hesitantly, Gray lifted his hand and placed it over Natsu's. His skin was always so warm. He was an ice mage, so shouldn't it be cold? Before Natsu even noticed that Gray had moved at all, he found himself staring right into icy blue eyes, the most beautiful pair of eyes Natsu had ever seen. He didn't deserve the way they looked at him: so warm, so full of love.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but... c-could it be... that y-you... uh, l-love me?"

Natsu wanted to object but he couldn't. He couldn't lie.

A tear dripped from his chin. Just when had he started crying? Gray wiped the tears away, and his hand lingered on Natsu's cheek longer than necessary.

"You must already know my answer. What's wrong then? Why are you crying? Or is it that you don't feel the same and you've just taken pity on me the last times?"

"I don't do such stuff with you out of _pity_!"

Gray's eyes widened only a fraction, and there was a glimmer that hadn't been there before.

Oh shit. Had he just... Yeah. Confessed. Stupid. Incredibly stupid.

"That's... good to hear. C-can you... uh, maybe tell o-or show me what kind of... err, _stuff_ you've done with me? Though I think I can imagine... Probably... this."

Gray inched closer, a blush on his cheeks. He cupped Natsu's chin, tilted it slightly upward, and shortened the distance between their faces.

The moment their lips met, Natsu snapped back into awareness. He shoved Gray backward onto the bed and wiped his lips.

"Don't _touch_ me! I _killed_ you. On the ninth day, I _killed_ you with my own hands. I have no right to be kissed by you anymore, no right to be loved by you. You shouldn't even be here. You should despise me!"

Gray's eyes widened, and he took a moment to sit back up.

"Is that why you're suicidal? Tell me exactly what happened."

That was what Natsu intended to do anyway, so he did. He needed to take a moment to calm down halfway through. Gray respected his wish and stayed away, calming him with words alone. The rest went smoothly. Telling Gray that he really did commit suicide the previous time had him feeling nervous and guilty, but as soon as it was out, there was nothing left. Only emptiness. He didn't dare look anywhere but at his sheets, too afraid of Gray's reaction.

"You said you 'killed' me, but what you did wasn't something you could control. I don't see any reason why you should blame yourself. I mean it. You were talking of fate; why can't you accept that fate had this planned for you from the start? I don't want you to feel like shit because of that, and I'm sure I didn't blame you when it happened."

Natsu punched the bedsheets, but didn't look up. "You didn't have _time_ for that because that sword pierced your _heart_! You died right away."

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that you can't be held responsible for my death. And anyway, why does it even matter? I realize it must be hard for you, but try considering it from a different angle. It didn't change anything, right? If you hadn't accidentally pushed me into that sword, I would've died of a heart attack."

Natsu knew that this would happen. Gray didn't understand what he was going through. How could he, if he'd never experienced something like this?

"You can't possibly know that. I could've saved you. You don't know how this feels..."

At that, Gray cupped Natsu's chin and tilted his head back up, glaring daggers at him.

"I _do_ know what it feels like. Don't you remember that Ur died because of me? I might not have pushed her into a blade, but I _did_ cause her death. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have fought against Deliora. She wouldn't have had to use Iced Shell to protect Lyon and me. She was like a mother to me, and I had to live on with the remorse of having _killed_ my mother."

"That's not the _same_!"

"Of course it's not. But the resulting feelings are similar. Remorse. Guilt. Self-hatred. Do you know who helped me get over it? _You._ You and the others, but mainly you. When we first met, I didn't enjoy life at all. I was full of hate and thirst for revenge. My smiles were rare and mostly fake. I hated you and your positive attitude, but our rivalry gave me back what I thought I'd lost forever. I didn't even notice at the time, but it was _you_ who saved me from my inner demons. It was _you_ who made me laugh again. So please, let _me_ be the one to save you from your demons now."

Save him? What if Natsu didn't want to be saved?

_'That's not true and you know it. You can't lie to yourself. Of course you want to be saved! Of course you want to spend more time with the one you love. You're selfish, and deep down you know that it wasn't entirely your fault this happened. You want to atone for what you've done, yet at the same time you want to be forgiven and be happy, even though you think you have no right to be... What is right, what is wrong? What is okay and what is not? Why is this situation so fucked up?'_

This train of thought lead nowhere; it only made his head spin, as did the current conversation with Gray. They could talk about this once everything was resolved. There were more urgent matters at hand, and they were only wasting precious time. Thus Natsu decided to change the topic and get to the point.

He gave a noncommittal sigh and said, "Anyway, there's still something I didn't tell you. This morning I had a dream. Lydia, the oracle, called me. She said she can help me now and we should come to the Magic Council again."

Gray let out a surprised gasp. "You mean you _had to_ commit suicide in order to move things along?"

Natsu flinched. " _What?_ How should me committing suicide make any difference?"

"I have no idea, but what else could've caused this? If I understood correctly, the only thing you did the last time was committing suicide, right? Or maybe it was because you _didn't_ try to save me for once."

Gray didn't expect Natsu to answer, that much was clear. Natsu wouldn't have been able to provide a proper answer anyway because he hadn't given the _why_ any thought until now. Questions and possibilities flooded his mind, leaving him unable to form a coherent thought for a moment.

What if he needed to offer up his life in exchange for Gray to live? What if that was the key to stopping this? Could he die for Gray, exchange his life for the man he loved to end the cycle?

His answer was clear: he'd do it without hesitation. Just like Gray had done the first two times, Natsu wouldn't have to think twice about his decision.

Gray snapped him out of his thoughts by jumping up and saying, "Anyway, that's great, let's go! And just to be clear: I won't let you commit suicide again. I'll do anything I can to heal your wounded soul." He held out an inviting hand, encouraging Natsu with a nod to take it.

Well, if he was going to die and thus redeem his sins, he might as well enjoy his last day, right? Not only did Natsu take Gray's hand to pull himself upright, but he also stumbled right into Gray's arms. Maybe it was selfish, even undeserved, but he pressed their lips into a much-needed kiss.

Gray didn't reciprocate at first, but after a few heartbeats, he wrapped his arms tightly around Natsu's waist, kissing him back. Natsu let out a contented sigh, pushing away all the negative thoughts for now.

Having Gray so close again, being held by his strong arms, having his soft lips pressed against his own... It was so much more than Natsu had let himself hope for. No, it wasn't a matter of hope. It was a matter of self-restraint, which Natsu evidentially didn't possess.

Gray licked over Natsu's lips, and before Natsu even knew what was happening, he opened his mouth to welcome Gray's warm tongue. When Gray loosened the embrace, Natsu nearly let out a grunt of protest, but the next second Gray's hands slipped under the towel, groping his ass. The movement untied the makeshift knot, and the towel slid down Natsu's legs, pooling around his ankles. Natsu knew he shouldn't let himself be seduced, he totally wasn't going to, but indulging for a few seconds more wouldn't hurt, right?

However, when his cock stirred, a wave of guilt overcame him. He shoved Gray away and covered his crotch with his hands, feeling self-conscious.

"Don't. We have a mission to do. Let's go."

Gray's face was flushed, his eyes fixed on the floor. "I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"It's okay, but let's focus. I'm not gonna let you die again."

Gray gave a small nod. He said he'd wait outside and left Natsu alone. Natsu could hear Happy questioning Gray about what happened 'between the two of them,' but he tuned their conversation out in favor of getting ready quickly.

He was almost done when the diary on his bedside table caught his attention again. He hadn't yet opened it to check if there was something new written in it. His throat constricted when he thought of all the possible outcomes of the previous day. They surely found his diary and thus knew that he committed suicide.

_'But what if they also found my corpse? Gray... what would you do if you found my dead body? I didn't want you to find it. I thought I went far enough... Far enough so that nobody would find me... But still... what if...'_

His hands were shaky as he removed his necklace and reached out for the diary. He needed several tries until he managed to fit the key into the lock, growing more nervous with every second.

_'Just a quick glance, maybe skim over it, but then I'll close it again. We already wasted enough time as it is.'_

He should've known that it wouldn't work, that he would sit down on his bed and read [all of it](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8748085/chapters/22261667). His insides clenched painfully as he imagined Gray sitting beside his dead body, crying, desperate, probably angry. A needle piercing his heart couldn't have been any more painful than _this_. When he finished, he went back and reread the sentences that had the most impact on him, blinking his sight clear of tears every few seconds.

_I can barely see anything anymore and my throat is sore. I can't believe you did this._

_I beg you, don't kill yourself again. Do it for me._

_Let_ me _be your reason to live._

_I love you so much, I don't know what to do with myself._

_Life without you will be possible... but it's pointless._

_You've clearly lost all hope, and I want nothing more than to give it back to you._

And then, of course also the whole last paragraph, written by Lucy:

_Gray didn't fully let it on in his text just how devastated he actually was. He went on a rampage. It took Erza, Freed, Laxus, Mirajane, and me to stop him. Don't do this to him again. Don't do this to all of us. We love you. We'll help you get over your trauma. We'll always be there for you. But right now, we have no other choice than to put our faith in you. Please save Gray. And please let yourself be saved by us._

Natsu bit his bottom lip and wiped his face dry.

_'Stop wasting precious time, idiot. We have to leave now.'_

He shook his head, resolutely closed and locked the diary, put it into his rucksack and got up.

When Natsu emerged, Happy was in Gray's arms, crying. Gray had told him everything, or at least most of it, then. The sight sent a stab of pain and remorse through Natsu and his feet automatically carried him toward them. He laid his hand on Happy's head.

"I'm so sorry, Happy."

As a reaction, Happy hurled himself right into Natsu's arms, and his sobbing intensified.

_'That's right... Happy and Gray are the ones who would suffer the most from my death. I haven't thought about their feelings at all. What a selfish way to act. Didn't I blame Gray for the exact same thing on the third day? For "throwing away his life" without considering my feelings? I'm such a failure.'_

Natsu squeezed Happy in a weak attempt to apologize, although he wasn't sure if Happy even knew of his suicide. Maybe he was just crying because he heard Gray died so many times already. Natsu couldn't ask Gray what exactly he'd told Happy without calling attention to the fact that there was possibly something Happy hadn't been informed of yet.

However, Gray locked eyes with him, shook his head, nodded toward Happy, and held a pointer finger to his lips in a shushing gesture. Then Natsu understood; they weren't going to tell him. Natsu gave Gray a curt nod and a thankful smile, relieved that Happy didn't notice the gesture, or at least didn't let on.

Had Gray already told Happy that they had to go to the Magic Council today? Would they take Happy with them or not? Natsu had neglected him too much in the past days, and if this was his last day, then he wanted to spend his last hours with the two people most precious to him. In his dream, Lydia said that he should come 'alone or with his beloved one,' but Happy could just wait outside, right? It shouldn't be a problem.

"Shhh. Don't cry. It's gonna be okay. Did Gray already tell you that I can save him today? I've been called to the Magic Council. The oracle will help us."

Happy's grip on Natsu tightened. "It's o-okay, I c-can handle i-i-it, you d-don't have t-to lie—"

"I'm not lying. I have been summoned to the Magic Council in my dreams. That lady can help us."

Happy peeled himself from Natsu's arms and looked at him with a frown. "Why didn't she help you earlier, then? Gray said it's the eleventh day."

"She couldn't. I don't know why, but we'll find out once we are there. Let's go!"

Natsu flashed a bright smile, grabbed Happy's paw and Gray's hand, and pulled them along.

Finally being on the way to the person who could help them save Gray's life lifted Natsu's spirits and mood palpably. It seemed to have the same effect on Gray and Happy. He only let go of Happy's paw after the umpteenth complaint that he would prefer to fly. Gray didn't complain. Quite the opposite; he laced their fingers together, a soft smile on his face as he easily matched Natsu's pace.

Natsu only realized now how much he'd missed seeing Happy smile, and how much he'd missed being together with his two favorite people. His heart clenched painfully at the thought that this was possibly his last chance to enjoy their presence in a somewhat carefree setting.

Even so, it would be worth it. There was nothing more important to him than Gray's wellbeing. If that meant sacrificing his life, Natsu would do it without hesitation or regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up~
> 
> This is your second last chapter where you have room to wonder about their bond and Natsu's sacrifice. Things will be revealed in Chapter 21.
> 
> Do you think Natsu is right with his thought process? Maybe you have another idea altogether?
> 
> In the light of recent events, I'd like to ask you to take care of your wording in your comment. Musing about what might happen is fine, but telling/suggesting me that my plot or the pace of the story should be changed to fit your personal likings is not helpful or nice at all. I'm happy about constructive criticism, but there's a line.
> 
> See you next Sunday :)


	20. Day 11 Part 2

After they arrived in Era and Natsu recovered from his motion sickness, there was no stopping him. He stormed off toward the Magic Council without checking if Gray and Happy followed.

Lydia waited amidst the flower meadow that surrounded the expansive building of the Magic Council. Natsu would've missed her if it wasn't for her calling his name. She smiled at Natsu, and as soon as he got into her close vicinity, a warm and happy feeling settled in his gut.

"You heard my call. Thank you for coming. I want to talk to you in private, so let us wait to tell your two friends where we will be and then go into my office. We do not want to worry them."

Natsu nearly asked how she knew that he was accompanied by _two_ friends, but caught himself at the last second. She could see the future, after all.

A moment later, her grin widened as she waved eagerly at Gray and Happy approaching.

"Welcome, Gray Fullbuster and Happy. I am Lydia, one of the three oracles of the Magic Council."

Gray opened his mouth, but Lydia was quicker.

"You do not need to introduce yourselves. I already know who you are. I have to ask you two to wait here. I need to talk with Natsu Dragneel in private."

Happy lifted his paw and took a step closer. "Why can't we come, too? He'll tell us anyway."

"He can do whatever he thinks is best afterward, but first, I need you to respect my wish."

After a second of hesitation, Happy nodded. "But why here? Aren't we allowed to enter the Magic Council?"

Lydia shook her head, her smile never fading. "You can go wherever you want besides my office. However, the waiting area of your choice will always be this garden. You do not like the inside of the Magic Council and you think the colors of the flowers are beautiful. There is also a pond with fish just around the corner. You may eat them."

Happy's eyes glistened. "All of them? But aren't they like your pets?"

She winked at him. "Please do not worry about that."

In excitement, Happy tugged at Natsu's clothes, shouting what a beautiful day this was, and that he was sure it would end well.

Gray let out a contented sigh and folded his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky. "Well, it's rather nice out, so we'll just wait here."

Natsu couldn't tear his eyes away from Gray's relaxed face, even as Happy continued to tout for his attention. Why Natsu was suddenly drawn to Gray's lips, he had no idea. Maybe it was the warm summer sun making them shine as if he'd just licked them a second before. Whatever it was, the desire was impossible to resist.

Natsu found himself reaching out for Gray's chin, tilting his head down. Gray jerked in surprise, but when he noticed what Natsu was up to, he pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing their lips together.

The kiss was chaste and short, interrupted by Lydia's giggle.

"Fear not: you will see each other again."

Was that what compelled Natsu? The fear of not being able to see Gray again? Possibly. He couldn't feel fear while being close to Lydia, after all.

"Come with me now. If we do not arrive at my office within the next ten minutes, you will run out of time today."

The threat was enough to make Natsu and Gray let go of each other immediately, albeit reluctantly.

***

As soon as the door to Lydia's office clicked shut, Natsu positioned himself on the rim of the magic circle without being instructed. Lydia nodded in approval and stepped onto the opposite rim, facing him.

When Lydia's eyes fluttered shut, Natsu followed her example. The feeling of wind and water running through his veins was there again, just this time it felt much more pleasant than last time. Breathing didn't become difficult as the minutes ticked by.

For a very long time, nothing seemed to happen. A tingling feeling here, a twitch of a muscle there, but nothing else. About ten minutes into the procedure, there still wasn't any change. Natsu was starting to grow impatient when he suddenly found himself in that strange black room again, only this time it wasn't completely empty. There was a crumbled wall right in front of him, and Lydia was at his side, nearly touching shoulders with him.

"I have already seen what lays behind it. If you take a step forward, you can see snippets of it... It would not endanger the future, but please... think twice. It is truly painful."

She swallowed heavily, and Natsu saw her biting her bottom lip out of the corner of his eye.

Painful, huh? What could be more painful than death? Natsu was ready to die for Gray— _had_ already died once—so surely there couldn't be anything that could shake him anymore, right?

He took a small step forward, careful not to stumble over rubble. Nothing changed, so he took another step, bigger this time.

Suddenly, everything around him was gone, and Natsu fell endlessly. He passed the head of a roaring black dragon. Then a young man with black hair, his back turned toward Natsu, holding out his hands in a protective gesture. Then there was Gray's face, oversized, glaring at him.

"Traitor."

Natsu wanted to scream that no, he wasn't going to betray anyone, but he couldn't utter a word.

"Liar," Gray spat out, and Natsu wasn't sure if he'd meant it as a stand-alone statement or as a reaction to Natsu's thoughts. Either way, it _hurt_.

Gray opened his mouth again, but before anything could come out, Natsu was yanked backward. He stumbled over rubble and dropped to the floor. Lydia was right beside him, biting her bottom lip and looking at the floor.

"This is enough. I cannot show you too much of your future or else it will change."

"Is this my future? To be hated by Gray?"

She lowered her head even more until a curtain of blond hair hid her face from Natsu's sight entirely. "I... I am truly sorry... but I can only tell you what you have to do next."

"Go ahead."

The dark room vanished, and with a jolt Natsu came to, noticing belatedly that he was falling yet again. He absorbed the impact with his hands and pushed himself right back into a standing position. They were back in Lydia's office. She sat on the floor, sobbing.

A pang of guilt surged through Natsu's body. He was beside her in no time at all, kneeling next to her and patting her shoulder. He let out shushing sounds, but she was inconsolable.

"I... I d-did n-n-not s-see this c-coming, I am s-so sorr-sorry... Y-you do n-not deserve wh-what is awaiting y-you... You h-have already s-su-suffered enough."

Not knowing what else to do, Natsu pulled her into a half hug, running his hands soothingly up and down her back. "It's not your fault."

Another wave of sobs overcame her, heavier this time. It rendered her unable to talk, and calming her down to the point where she could articulate herself again took some minutes. When her sobbing ceased, she pushed Natsu away and looked at him, her eyes red-rimmed and glassy.

"You are ready to sacrifice your life to save the one you love."

Was he supposed to answer? She stared at him, unmoving. A few seconds ticked by silently before Natsu decided to give a careful nod.

"But you are not aware that this does not mean death. I have seen that you are going to do it, but I want to enlighten you before _he_ does. You have to live on. Live in order to save your beloved one, but you will not be allowed to be together with him."

"That's... indeed not what I expected. But I'll do it. I'll do whatever it takes to save his life."

She gulped. "Are you prepared to stay away from him?"

"S-stay away? Y-you mean—"

"Far away. _Very_ far."

"Does that mean—"

"Yes. Far away from your guild and everyone you call your friend."

Natsu gulped. There was still this soothing aura, but it couldn't completely suppress the uneasiness Natsu felt. He was sure a strong wave of negative emotions would crash over him as soon as he got away from her, but he pushed the thought away for now. He straightened himself.

"If he's going to hate me, then staying away would make it easier. Being around him while not being able to be _with him_ would be torture. Especially if he were to choose anyone else."

The thought should be unbearably painful, but the aura surrounding Lydia dulled the pain.

"Yes, I think so. Well then, what you need to do today is go to the island that has a strong connection to your guild's history. I advise you do not take your lover. He could ruin it."

"Ruin what?"

"Everything. Your plans. The odds are very low, but I can see one possible future in which he causes the time loop to end today without being saved."

"Then tell me what I need to do to prevent this and it's gonna be okay, right?"

She sighed. "If I tell you, the possible futures will change."

"Just a tip?"

"I... Give me a moment."

She closed her eyes, titled her head back and stretched her palms toward the ceiling. A warm blue light encompassed her, making her hair float. Natsu sat back on his heels and waited patiently. After a while, the light vanished abruptly as Lydia opened her eyes wide.

"I will tell you. You must not defend Zeref's past actions. That is all. If your lover thinks you do not blame Zeref for the death of his parents, he will cause an uproar, possibly destroy all the progress you made and throw the world into darkness with his actions."

Why would Natsu do such a thing in the first place? It was Zeref's demon who killed Gray's parents, thus it was _clearly_ his fault.

"Okay."

"You have to prevent them from fighting, but please choose your strategy wisely. I can see you already have a good idea. Please use it."

"The one where I say that if he kills Zeref, I'll die as well?"

Her lips pulled into a small smile. "Yes. I do not know whose idea it was, but it is a good one. Another thing: You cannot save your lover today. What you must do requires preparation."

"What? How long?"

"That is up to you. You can do it within two days or you can choose to spend some more time with your lover and postpone it. Now, we do not have much time left. May I ask you for one last promise?"

The promises he made with her until this point had turned out to be very helpful, so he didn't hesitate to nod.

"Do not blame yourself for what will happen and what already has happened. It is _not_ your fault. Nothing is. As soon as you have made your decision, you have next to no control over the situation. Your decisions will be the correct ones. What happened two days before was fated to happen. It had to happen. The same goes for the future. You will not endanger the future if you do not promise this, but you will be better off if you do _and_ keep it. I am worried about you."

Now _that_ was a lot to ask. Natsu didn't feel any less guilty because of what she said, and if she said something like this, then he was surely going to do something else that would elicit an equally strong feeling of guilt. If it was something he _believed_ to be his fault, how could he shake it off?

"I know it is difficult, but please, at least try. You had to feel responsible for your lover's death and give up your life. Otherwise, you would not have been ready for this. So, please, try not to blame yourself."

"O-okay. I promise to _try."_

She nodded in approval and then shooed him away, saying that if he didn't hurry, time would run out. She instructed him to go straight to their guild master once they arrived at the guild. Natsu thanked her and then ran outside, trying his best to fight down the fear creeping up his spine as soon as Lydia's soothing aura didn't affect him anymore.

He sniffed the air to locate Gray and Happy and then took off in their direction. He didn't want to give himself time to imagine all the horrible things that could— _would_ —happen. Next thing he knew, he bumped into Gray, sending him flying to the soft grass with Natsu landing right on top of him.

"He-hey, be careful! Did you miss me _that_ much?"

Gray's expression was totally different from the one Natsu had just seen. Soft eyes, a teasing smile on his lips, a faint blush on his cheeks. If it could just stay like this... Him and Gray, happily in love. Natsu was about to reason that he didn't deserve it because he killed Gray, but the promise he made to Lydia resounded in his mind.

_'It is not your fault. Nothing is.'_

"Natsu? What's wrong? You look unhappy."

There was no point keeping secrets from Gray now, right? Lydia said time would turn back at least once more, so Gray would forget. Although he had to be careful because of the Zeref-issue. Natsu knew from experience how strongly Gray reacted to his name alone.

"She showed me pieces of my future... One of them was... y-you called me 'traitor' and 'liar'. Your expression was... really angry."

Gray furrowed his eyebrows. "Why would I say such a thing? You're going to save my life. Calling you a 'traitor' and a 'liar'... That would be very ungrateful of me. What exactly do you need to do to save me?"

"Sh-she didn't tell me. She just said we need to go to an island that has a strong connection to our guild's past." It wasn't exactly a _lie_ , but there was no way he'd make things worse by saying Zeref's name.

Gray cocked his head and pursed his lips as if he was thinking hard.

Suddenly Lydia's voice spoke in his head, 'Hurry.'

Natsu pushed himself upright and held out his hand for Gray. When Gray didn't react right away, Natsu made an impatient gesture and said, "We don't have time to waste. We have to leave. Come on!"

The warning spurred on Gray and Happy, who had been sitting on the edge of the pond with a fish in his mouth, and they took off running in the direction of the train station.

The future that lay before him scared Natsu, but he tried his best to push the thought away and focus on the here and now. It was the first time in his life that he was _happy_ about being motion sick on the train, since it banished all thoughts beside 'I want this ride to end!'

***

When they arrived at Magnolia station, Natsu didn't give himself time to recover from the ride. He made a run for their guild the second he stepped out of the train car, urging Gray and Happy on to follow him.

Whenever dark thoughts threatened to overwhelm him, he sped up so that he had to focus more on his surroundings in order not to trip. Gray and Happy were only a few steps behind him all the time.

Natsu burst through the door of their guild hall without bothering to open it, breaking it and its frame in the process. People shouted at him, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to talk to Makarov. He left the door to his office intact in case their master wanted to talk to him in private, but he didn't knock before storming in. Makarov jumped so high he nearly hit his head on the ceiling. Natsu caught him and gently set him down in his chair again.

"Which island has a strong connection to our guild's history?"

Makarov stared at Natsu in disbelief, his mouth wide open. Gray and Happy entered the office and closed the door behind them, but neither said a word.

Natsu grabbed Makarov by the collar. "Come on, gramps! We don't have much time!"

"Wh-why do you want to know such a thing?"

"I don't have time to explain. It's to save Gray. _Please_."

"Tenrou Island. But you can't just take a normal ship. It has to be the Fairy Tail ship."

Natsu lifted him from his seat and shook him, trying to convey urgency. "I have to go there! How long does it take?"

Beads of sweat formed on Makarov's forehead. "Our ship is in Hargeon Port. We could reach Tenrou Island by late afternoon if we go now."

Natsu put their master down and urged the three of them on to get going. This meant another train ride, then a boat trip, thus more nausea for Natsu, but he could take it.

If it meant that Gray could live on, he would take anything, even Gray's hatred. No matter how much it hurt, he would rather be separated from Gray and incur his wrath than let him die again.

Natsu grabbed Gray's and Makarov's wrists and made for the door, not giving them time to explain anything to their guild mates. Mirajane followed them until the train station, where they needed to wait several minutes for the next train. It didn't really matter who came, or did it? Lydia hadn't said anything about his other guild mates. She'd only advised him not to take Gray.

However, Mirajane didn't want to come with them. She just asked where they were going and why. Natsu didn't see any reason to keep their destination and his meeting with Lydia a secret, but he still didn't mention Zeref.

When the train arrived, Mirajane seemed to be content with the answers and wished them good luck. Jellal wasn't hiding himself very well. He didn't even wait for them to be inside before he entered the train a car behind them, but Natsu didn't comment. Jellal would either have to show himself if he wanted to get on the ship or do a better job at hiding and sneaking aboard.

***

Gray didn't leave Natsu's side on the trip, always appearing worried about his health, both mental and physical. He tried cooling down Natsu's forehead to help his nausea, but that made matters worse. He talked with Natsu even when he wasn't able to give a coherent answer.

On the one hand, Natsu was happy that Gray was this worried about him, but on the other he wished Gray would just stop promising stuff he didn't know he could keep. How could he say that he wasn't going to hate Natsu when he didn't even know what was going to happen? He most likely _wouldn't_ be able to keep it if what Lydia had showed and told Natsu was true, and he didn't want to get false hope.

So, on their way from the train station to Hargeon's port, Natsu grabbed Gray's hand and slowed down, making them drop behind. They had a bit time anyway since Makarov needed to fetch their ship first. Gray lifted his eyebrows when he noticed what Natsu was up to, but Natsu refused to say anything until they were out of earshot. Happy looked back in confusion once, but Natsu shook his head, gesturing him to follow Makarov. Jellal would always be close, but there was just no helping it. He had already seen and heard them do worse things.

As soon as the port was in sight, Natsu stopped dead and turned to face Gray. "Please stop promising stuff you can't possibly control. I'll end up believing you and get hurt even worse."

Gray took a step back, removing his hand from Natsu's. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. "But I'm telling you, I won't let that happen. We know what the future is supposed to be like, so we can change it, right? I don't think I could hate you anyway, no matter wh—"

"Shut up! You don't _know_ that! What if I have to betray your trust? What if I need to wipe out our whole guild just to save you? Can you still say you won't hate me, huh?"

Gray retreated another step, his eyes wide in shock. "Wh-what? You wouldn't do such a thing, right? Killing our family to save me."

Natsu's throat constricted. This wasn't meant to be considered seriously. He didn't have a clue as to what he'd need to do, but for all he knew, it _could_ be something cruel like that. Would he be able to take other people's lives to save Gray? Natsu didn't want to think about it.

"I don't know. I would prefer to wait until we _know_ what's on the line and _then_ think about what I would and wouldn't do. All I'm saying is, you don't know the future. Of course we can try to change it, but I'm inclined to believe Lydia when she says that certain things have to happen the way they are supposed to. I don't want to destroy what's possibly our last day together by fighting."

Gray stepped forward and grabbed Natsu by his scarf, glowering. Oops. That shouldn't have come out.

"What do you mean, 'possibly our last day together'? Do you know something you haven't told me?"

_'Careful. Don't mention Zeref. Stay vague. He's already angry enough as it is.'_

"She... uh, _implied_ that... th-that..."

A sharp pain originating in his heart surged through his body, leaving him unable to speak. Why was this so difficult? Natsu had already come to terms with losing everything, including that he'd have to leave Gray, so it shouldn't be a problem to say it out loud. Yet he couldn't utter a word.

Natsu averted his eyes. Looking at Gray's face was just too painful, even though his expression softened considerably after Natsu's speech died down. Maybe it was for the best if he really _did_ leave Gray behind. The farewell certainly wouldn't become _easier_ the more time he spent with Gray. More time with Gray meant their bond would grow stronger, at least on Natsu's side.

There was a lump in Natsu's throat that wouldn't go away no matter how many times he swallowed. A warm hand brushed over Natsu's cheek, prompting him to look back up. Gray had his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

"I... I'm sorry. I have no right to judge you." Gray pulled Natsu into his arms and patted his head. "It's _you_ who's suffering the most, you who has to bear all the pain and heartache. If there's something you feel you need to hide from me for whatever reason, that's all right. Maybe you're keeping secrets to spare yourself more pain, or you're trying to spare _me_. I just—" Gray's grip tightened. "—want to help you. I may not know what will happen, but I know that I _don't want to lose you_."

Was Natsu imagining things, or was Gray having trouble keeping his voice even? When he heard a muffled sniffle, he knew for sure: Gray was _crying_. And Natsu wasn't that far off, either.

He didn't want to be separated from Gray—not now, not ever. Gray was his whole world, the reason he was looking forward to each new day. Even after all the horrible things started happening, Gray was his only light in the darkness. How could he carry on when his light was gone? He would succumb to darkness, lose his will to live. It was just a matter of time, given his current mental state. No matter how much he'd tried to ignore it thus far, he wasn't the same anymore. Seeing Gray die countless times had taken its toll on him and his mental condition. Where he'd always seen a colorful world full of possibilities, now it was a world full of possible threats to Gray's life and their future, a world full of sorrow, pain, and heartache.

"N-Natsu... d-don't cry..."

The lump in his throat made it impossible to answer. He hadn't even noticed that he'd started crying, but his tears had already soaked Gray's shirt. Natsu swallowed and tightened his grip on Gray. He spoke with difficulty: "Y-y-you're one t-to talk... idiot."

Gray's wailing only intensified, as did his grip on Natsu. They stood there for a while, both crying and clinging to the other, neither of them saying anything.

Lydia had mentioned that it was up to Natsu how often time would still loop. He could do it within two loops or delay it as long as he wanted. If it really meant farewell, would he have the heart to end it within one more day?

"Natsuuuuuuuu!" Happy shouted from the distance, prompting Natsu and Gray to jump apart.

Natsu wiped his eyes frantically, not wanting to worry Happy any further. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gray doing the same. Happy came closer at a rapid pace. In the distance, Natsu saw a sail with the Fairy Tail emblem, meaning they were ready to take off. On closer inspection, the ship had its bow to the sea, already sailing away.

"Natsuuuuuu, Graaaaaaay, hurry! Run to the port, I'll carry you on board! Master said this is the best solution if we don't want to waste time."

They didn't need to be told twice. Upon reaching the port, Natsu told Happy to take Gray first. As soon as they were out of earshot, Natsu called for Jellal to show himself. He didn't have to wait long until Jellal emerged from the shadows of a nearby alley, body stiff and his brows furrowed in worry.

"Are you okay being carried by Happy? Or do you want to... dunno, use your... err, Motor magic?"

Jellal rolled his eyes. "Meteor."

"Yeah, that."

"I'd much rather not waste my magic. Who knows what awaits us there. Is your cat reliable?"

"He's not _my cat;_ he's my _friend_. Of course he's reliable."

"Then I'll take him. Is there something you know and haven't shared with Gray yet? You can tell me, I won't reveal it."

Natsu quickly checked where Happy was, noting that he'd just reached the ship and was about to set Gray down. There was nothing wrong with letting Jellal in on what was awaiting them, right? Natsu was nervous as hell about the fact that they were supposed to meet the greatest dark mage, who was supposed to be dead. Like this, he could share his sorrow with somebody.

He clenched his fists and looked Jellal in the eye. "Zeref."

Jellal's eyes widened in horror, and he took a step back. "Th-that's... H-holy shit! You're kidding, right?"

Natsu shook his head in defeat. "I wish I was. But it seems like he's not our enemy. Lydia said I have to prevent a fight."

Before Natsu had the chance to react, Jellal was right there, grabbing him by the scarf, glowering. "You _are_ kidding me! There's no way—"

Natsu grabbed Jellal's wrist and squeezed it as tightly as he could. "If you refuse to believe me, I'll fight you right here and take your communication lacrima. I don't _need_ you to be with us. You want to come? Then promise not to lay a finger on Zeref unless _he's_ posing a threat to us."

Jellal gritted his teeth. "He's posing a threat to humanity merely by existing."

Natsu let out a snarl. "Let me rephrase that. Promise not to lay a finger on Zeref unless he's _attacking_ us."

They stared at each other for a long while, neither of them budging. Only when they heard Happy shout Natsu's name did they avert their eyes.

"Natsuuuu! What's wrong? We don't have time or I'll get too tired to use my wings. Can't you postpone your fight? And why is he even here?"

Natsu turned sharply back to Jellal. "So?"

Jellal glared at him for a second, but then let out a resigned sigh. " _Fine_. I accept your condition."

Pleased with the outcome, Natsu asked Happy to carry Jellal to the ship first, but his friend was confused. Natsu gave a brief explanation that Jellal was needed for this, that he would help. Happy accepted the explanation, but still insisted that Jellal would be the last one. He grabbed Natsu and flew off with him, not caring about his protests.

The ship was fast, fueled by Makarov's magic, and Happy just barely managed to carry Jellal to the ship before exhaustion overtook him. Having Jellal on the ship caused some questions, but Natsu was in no condition to answer them. Happy repeated Natsu's brief explanation, and that seemed to be enough.

Despite Natsu's nausea, Gray never let go of him during the whole ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone think that things are looking up for Natsu from now on?
> 
>  **Important announcement! Please read!**  
>  I won't be able to maintain the weekly updates anymore. I pushed myself too much and it worked just fine for a couple of months, but now I've reached a point at which writing is not fun anymore. I obsessed over this story and pressured myself to keep the promise I made, instead of taking a step back and admitting that it wasn't the right thing to do (but I'm doing it now, so now it's fine). It wasn't good for my mental health and I also didn't allow myself to do anything else in my free time anymore. Whenever I found something that I wanted to do (like reading a book / reading another one's fanfic / playing a game / etc.), I immediately thought 'no, you don't have time for that, you have to write, you have a deadline to meet, you aren't allowed to indulge in anything else'. Just writing this makes me so sad.
> 
> It wouldn't be a problem if I were a faster writer, but currently, my _average_ writing speed is like 100-200 words per hour (and with a daily word goal of one thousand, you can do the maths), and I have the feeling that I get slower the more pressure I put myself under. There were times when I wrote 6k words in one day (that was a Saturday where I wrote from morning until late evening with few breaks, but still), and it was so much fun! I want to go back to these times. I didn't have pressure at all.
> 
> I'm not saying I'll abandon this fic (because I never will), just that the updates will come irregularly in the future. Chapter length may vary between a few hundred words to ten thousand or even more, depending on what makes sense (there'll be no more dividing a day into parts etc.)
> 
>  
> 
> **Chapter 21 will still be published next Sunday (that chapter is already written, just needs to be edited), and Chapter 22 will _maybe_ be published the Sunday after that (I'm like halfway through), but from then on, I'll need more time.**
> 
>  
> 
> I won't discontinue this fic. I love it too much for that.
> 
> I know I spoiled you with the weekly updates, and I know you might be sad and frustrated, but I never want to put other people's expectations over my hapiness & health anymore. I hope you'll still continue reading this fic~
> 
> Have a nice day <3


	21. Day 11 Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **SPOILER WARNING (in the fic _and_ this Author's Notes)** for the Manga/Anime in case you haven't yet gotten past the Tartaros Arc.
> 
> Beware, some of the information given in this fic is entirely _wrong_ when it comes to the original Manga. I twisted things, completely made up some others, and also disregarded stuff that happened in canon. I wouldn't want you to mix up canon with my fic, so please always keep this in mind: **This fic is non canon compliant**.
> 
> More specifically in regards to this chapter: I changed the reason for Zeref's curse, disregarded the fact that Mavis was cursed, too (meaning: she wasn't cursed), and probably some other things I don't remember right now.
> 
> Things get somewhat resolved in this chapter. But don't get me wrong: this fic is far from over.
> 
> Have fun!

Natsu needed several minutes to recover from the ride when they reached Tenrou Island. Since nobody besides Jellal and Natsu knew what they were supposed to do, they didn't have any plan on how to go about things.

Everyone looked at Natsu expectantly. Time to reveal _a part of the truth_ , at least. He couldn't just say, 'Let's wait and see what happens' when he knew exactly what, or rather, _whom_ they were looking for.

Natsu straightened himself. "There is somebody on this island we need to find."

Makarov interjected, "Somebody? This island is Fairy Tail's sacred ground. Nobody can find and enter it unless they're a member of Fairy Tail. As far as I know, there's no member missing."

Natsu took a step back. If that was true, was Zeref a member of Fairy Tail? A former member maybe? No. There was no way a dark mage was a former Fairy Tail member.

"Well, I don't know about that, but the Oracle said there's somebody here. And we mustn't fight with that person. They can help us. We don't have time to waste, so let's go!"

Natsu took off running, not waiting for them to answer. He had a good nose, so he had the best odds of finding Zeref. Sniffing him out couldn't be that difficult. Sure, the island was huge, but as long as Zeref didn't stay holed up somewhere, they would eventually find traces of his scent. Natsu cast a glance over his shoulder to make sure his friends were following before concentrating on his nose.

Somewhere along the line, Gray grabbed his hand, eliciting a fond smile from Natsu.

The later it got, the more nervous Natsu became. Even an hour after their arrival he hadn't yet detected another presence.

' _Only one and a half hours left until he dies. Come on, concentrate! If we don't find him soon, we won't have time for explanations anymore._ '

Thankfully, Happy announced that he'd recovered enough to use his wings again. Natsu accepted the offer, and soon the two of them outpaced the others. Maybe it was better that way. A confrontation between Zeref and Gray didn't seem to be wise, and Natsu really didn't want to lie to Gray only to stop them from fighting.

A new and somewhat familiar scent invaded Natsu's nose and he nearly caused them to crash into the nearest tree with his surprised jerking and yelling. Happy had a good nose, too, so he was able to follow the trace with a minimum of guidance.

Natsu's pulse quickened with every second as the scent became stronger and stronger. They reached a clearing and with it their goal—a young, black-haired man stood there, wearing a white tunic over black clothes and a pendant around his neck. His eyes and mouth were wide open in surprise. It was the same young man Natsu had seen in the vision of his future, where he'd been standing protectively in front of him. Was this Zeref?

"Na-Natsu..."

Before Natsu had the chance to ask why the _hell_ he knew his name, the man flinched and put his hands on either side of his head, his face scrunching up as if in pain.

"N-No... It's coming..." A black sphere formed, like black clouds swirling around him. "R-run. Run! _Now_!"

There was an immense magical aura around him, and Natsu found himself unable to move a muscle, overwhelmed by the sheer power buzzing in the air. Happy seemed to feel it too. He let out a strangled groan and then dropped Natsu.

" _Run!_ " the black-haired wizard shouted, but to no avail.

Natsu was paralyzed. He could only watch as the sphere expanded rapidly, causing everything in its range to rot and die.

" _Run or you'll die!_ "

' _Happy!_ '

Natsu charged at his friend and hit him square in the stomach, sending him flying into the bushes, out of the attack's range. The clouds hit Natsu the next second, pulling him in and making him stumble. It was over as quickly as it started, leaving Natsu lying on the ground. He sat up immediately, his eyes searching for the black-haired wizard. Everything around them was dead—some trees were even gone for good.

The man was staring at him in disbelief, and he was _crying_. What the _hell_ was going on? Where did he know his name from? Did they know each other?

"Natsu... I... I missed you..."

Tears rolled down his cheeks in a steady stream, and Natsu found himself unable to say anything.

' _He missed me? He knows me? Is he Zeref? Why does he know my name?_ '

A bit wobbly, Natsu got to his knees. He cleared his throat and then asked, "Zeref?"

The man flinched and opened his mouth to say something, but before anything could come out, Happy's voice resounded from behind Natsu, shocked and disbelieving.

"What do you mean, _Zeref_? The dark mage Zeref? Is that _him_? Did we come here to kill him?"

Natsu whirled around. A stab of guilt surged through him at the sight of Happy's eyes wide in panic.

"He's not our enemy for the time being."

"B-but he's the dark mage Zeref. How is he not our enemy?"

Before Natsu had the chance to reply, there was a rustling sound and a second later, Gray, Jellal, and Makarov jumped onto the clearing, all three out of breath. Gray glared at him.

"Did I... hear that right? _Zeref_... and _he's not... our enemy_? Have you gone _crazy_?"

Oh, _perfect_ , that was impeccable timing they had there.

Something seemed to catch Gray's attention as he lowered his gaze a bit. "Why the _hell_ is your scarf black?"

' _My scarf...?_ '

Indeed, it was pitch black. What happened? Did that black cloud dye his scarf?

Zeref's voice rang out: "Natsu, do you... remember me?"

Natsu whirled around, confused by the hopeful look on Zeref's face. So they _had_ met before? When? Where? Why couldn't Natsu remember a thing?

He had to proceed carefully from here on. He would have to tell Gray a lie to keep him from attacking Zeref, so if he said 'no' now, there was little justification for knowing something about the dark mage that nobody else did. It was too late to think of a credible backstory—he'd just have to hope that nobody would ask about the details.

Trying to look and sound as convincing as he could, Natsu said, "Yes."

Gray was right in front of Natsu in an instant, his back turned toward him and his arms stretched out protectively. He snarled, "Did you mess with him? Are you controlling him? Release him, right now!"

' _No! Shit!_ '

Natsu put a hand on Gray's shoulder. "I'm still me. Hey. Look at me. Nobody's controlling me."

Gray turned his head until he could look at Natsu with wide, unfocused eyes. He was panicking inside, Natsu could tell as much. It was probably best to play his trump card right away or else Gray would surely freak out and attack Zeref any second.

"Don't attack him, please. If you kill him, I'll die as well."

Gray's eyes went even wider. Both Happy and Makarov let out a surprised sound, but Zeref's voice overshadowed everything else.

" _What_? How can you possibly _know_ that?"

Huh? Had somebody informed Zeref that they were pulling this off? Had Lydia paid him a visit as well? Either way, albeit unexpected, his reaction was _perfect_. Nobody would doubt Natsu's lie like this. However, Zeref really seemed to wait for an answer.

There was no way Natsu would let Gray and Zeref be around each other any longer than necessary, and saying 'Go away, Gray' didn't appear to be the best solution. Therefore, he went for, "That's unimportant. Can we talk in private, please?"

Gray snarled, "As if I'd leave you alone with this crazy mass murderer!"

Natsu didn't know what else to do than playing dirty. He embraced Gray from behind, raised himself on tiptoes and snuggled his chin up to the crook of Gray's neck. Hoping that Zeref wouldn't hear, Natsu whispered, "Lydia said it's essential that I gain his trust. She said he won't hurt me. I need information from him to save you, so please, trust me and leave us alone. Even _if_ he kills me, so what? Time will be turned back anyway. Don't waste this chance, I beg you."

Gray shuddered, his heart rate picking up even faster. Natsu didn't feel well telling so many lies at once, but he saw no other way. He didn't know what exactly he needed from Zeref, or if he really wasn't in danger of being attacked, but he'd find out soon. It was like he said—even if Zeref killed him, it wasn't going to be a problem.

"I... o-okay."

Natsu loosened his grip, and Gray used the opportunity to turn around, snatching a chaste kiss before stepping away. He nodded toward Happy and the others, and then they retreated in the direction from which they'd come. Natsu could hear Gray say that they should go back to the ship.

"Are you two... a couple?" Zeref asked when the others were out of earshot, his eyes still glassy, but his expression unreadable.

Natsu snarled, "I don't see how that's any of your business."

A small smile spread out on Zeref's face, and it nearly looked as if he _admired_ Natsu. "You've... grown up. Not only do I get to see you again after so many years, but also your boyfr—" he clutched his head— "ngh, ah, _shit, run_!"

The black clouds around him were back. " _Run! Your scarf can't protect you a second time! Run!_ "

This time, Natsu didn't hesitate. He ran out of the attack's range and only went back after he made sure that the black clouds were gone.

"What's the meaning of this?" Natsu asked. It didn't appear like Zeref had any control over what was happening, so the least he could do was to explain what triggered it.

Zeref dropped his head. "I'm cursed... Ankhseram, the contradictory curse. The more I value life, the more I kill. I'm amazed you don't know this when you _do_ know that our lives are irrevocably connected."

Natsu took a step back, shocked. "I... _what_? That was just made up to keep Gray from attacking you."

Zeref looked up again, his face blank. "Gray... that's his name? Is he your mate?"

"Mate? What are you talking about?"

"You love him, don't you?"

"Stop sticking your nose into other people's business!"

Zeref furrowed his brows. "You _really_ have forgotten who I am. It's true that it may not be my business, but there's a reason why I'm interested. My name is Zeref Dragneel. I'm your older brother."

Natsu felt as if somebody punched him in the gut. The dark mage Zeref, his _older brother_? No way! Zeref was supposed to be _four hundred_ years old, so how could Natsu possibly be his younger brother? He was _nineteen_ , for fuck's sake!

"It's only natural that you don't remember me. You were so small when our ways parted. Igneel was the one who raised you, after all."

Never mind him probably lying about his and Natsu's relationship _—he knew Ingeel!_ Did he know something about his whereabouts?

"Where is Igneel?"

Zeref opened his mouth, but then closed it again, shaking his head with a sad look.

Did that mean that he thought Igneel was dead? No. Natsu wouldn't accept that. Igneel wasn't dead, he couldn't be—

"How did you find me? What are you here for? Why do you need to talk to me in private?"

Right. There were more pressing matters at hand, although he'd get back to the Igneel issue when they still had time at the end.

"The oracle of the Magic Council said I have to find you. I have a... _problem_. You're the only one who can help me, I guess."

Zeref cocked his head. "You're going to have to be more detailed than that."

Natsu gritted his teeth. Why was Zeref's scent so _familiar_? He shouldn't trust this man, yet he couldn't help but feel secure around him. There was no way he'd let himself trust the dark mage Zeref! He only tolerated his presence because he needed him to revive Gray, period.

"We're all caught in a time loop. A mage turns time back because Gray always dies at the end of the day so that I can save him. I'm the only one whose memories will stay intact; everyone else forgets what happened when the day starts anew. We haven't found a way to save him yet. It appears to be impossible to prevent his death. He died ten times already, and his magic always vanishes at once after his death."

Zeref's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He took half a step toward Natsu but then flinched and stopped. "Th-that... Why would she send you to _me_?" He bit his lip. "I can't help you."

There was something he didn't want to say, that much was obvious.

"I know you can, and I don't plan on giving up. If you refuse to help me, this day will loop endlessly. I'll come here again and again, until you give in and help me. You could speed this up if you just tell me now."

Zeref scrutinized Natsu's expression, but whatever he was searching for, he didn't seem to find an answer. After a while of silent staring, he asked, "You love him, don't you?"

 _Why_ was he still on about that?

"Does that hold any importance here?"

"It does. I... once revived somebody I love, and I paid a high price... I was cursed."

_Revived!_

Natsu subconsciously took a step forward. "So you can revive him?"

Zeref lowered his head. "No. I'm already cursed... I can't do it anymore."

Natsu closed the distance between them in with a few quick steps and grabbed him by the collar. "Then teach me!"

"You fool! Stay away from me!" With that, he slapped Natsu's hands away and jumped backward until there was a generous distance between them again.

Well, if that was his condition, then Natsu could work with that. As long as he taught Natsu how to revive Gray, he'd do anything.

"I..." Zeref gulped. Various emotions flickered over his face, as if he was fighting an internal battle. Finally, a shadow passed over his face and his expression went grim and determined. "No. I don't want to do this to you. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to teach you. It would be too painful. I'm sorry."

Too _painful_? Natsu clenched his fists, trying hard to fight the urge to attack Zeref. "Bullshit! There's _nothing_ that could be more painful than losing him. I mean it. I already killed myself once over this. I'm ready to give my _life_ for him. The oracle said I'm ready and now you're telling me this would be _too painful_? What would you do in my position? Did you know what awaited you when you revived that person? If yes, you're a fucking _hypocrite_."

Zeref flinched. "I... I didn't know back then. It's forbidden to bring somebody back to life. That's why the price is so high."

"If you went back in time with the knowledge that you're gonna get cursed for reviving that person, would you still do it?"

Judging from the look on his face, Zeref was close to tears again. He didn't take his eyes off Natsu, an uninterpretable softness in them.

"I would do it again."

" _Then teach me_. There's no way you could've loved that person more than I love Gray."

Zeref took a tentative step forward, tears glistening in his eyes. "That's... another kind of love. I just—" He gulped. "—don't want you to throw your life away like that. I've always wanted you to be happy." The first tears made their way down his cheeks. "If you do this... you'll have to stay away from the people who are precious to you... o-or you end up k-killing them."

"I told you, that's fine with me. If you truly wanted me to be happy, you'd help me save him. So show me, please."

A sob broke free from Zeref's throat. In the next second, he hunched up and buried his hands in his hair. "Run!"

Natsu ran out of reach before the dark cloud even appeared.

Why did this curse activate every few minutes? Was it normal? Did it hurt the cursed one? Would Natsu end up killing everything and everyone in his close vicinity because he valued life? _Did_ he even value life, when he'd already thrown away his own once?

The black clouds disappeared and with them all the questions in Natsu's head. All that remained was firm resolution. He _had_ to save Gray and this was his only chance.

Back in the clearing, Natsu found Zeref crouching on the dead ground, shivering and crying. Natsu's first impulse was to go over and comfort him. However, he held back, both because of Zeref's request to stay away and because Natsu didn't _want_ to feel sorry for someone who had taken countless lives.

"You'll teach me then?"

Without looking up, Zeref said, "I d-don't even know i-if you're a-able to do it. Y-you'd need a far greater amount of magic than your target... H-how much magic does your boyfriend have?"

"I think... we're about even? I think that if I enter Dragon Force, I have far more than him. It's worth a try."

Zeref lifted his head, his teary eyes meeting Natsu's head-on. "There's no way I can talk you out of this and make you give up, right?"

Oh, thank Mavis! He _finally_ seemed to understand.

"There isn't."

A sigh escaped Zeref's lips as he shook his head. He got to his feet and made a beckoning gesture. "Well then, come closer. Prepare to run at any given time, though."

Natsu was surprised by the request, but didn't hesitate to close the distance. If he wanted this to work out, he had to cooperate after all.

When Zeref reached out for his head, he flinched involuntarily, but scolded himself for it a second later.

_'Cooperation. Even if I don't believe in his stories, I need his help. Relax.'_

Being up close to Zeref, the scent that invaded his nose was much stronger. Natsu couldn't shake the feeling that it was oddly familiar. There was another faint smell on him, one that Natsu didn't know.

"I won't harm you... well, not intentionally. My curse is the only thing you need to be afraid of, I swear."

There wasn't a trace of dishonesty in his face, so Natsu believed him for now. He nodded, and this time he didn't flinch when Zeref put one hand on his forehead.

"Close your eyes and concentrate on your magic. No need to enter Dragon Force now. I can feel it if you just concentrate on it."

The moment Natsu's eyes shut, he felt the trace of another presence in his body, searching, examining. It lasted only a few seconds until the touch on his forehead was gone. Natsu figured that it was okay to open his eyes again and was met with a doubtful look.

"I'm not sure if it's enough if what you say is correct and his magic and yours are level when you're not in Dragon Force. You might end up using up all of your magic if you try."

"That's okay."

Zeref took a step back, glaring at Natsu. "No, it's _not_ okay! Do you know what happens when a mage runs out of magic? They _die_. If you die, then your lover dies as well. In case you manage to revive him first, that is."

"Why would he die?"

Zeref bit his lip, apparently battling with himself over his next words. He sucked in a deep breath. "If you revive him, his life will forever be bound to yours. If you want him to live, then you need to stay alive as well."

This information made Natsu's head spin. It all made sense now. Lydia's words. His sacrifice. The _bond_ he needed to form with Gray. The apple Lydia was talking about, a forbidden fruit. He was about to do something forbidden, as per Zeref's definition. He had to 'live in order to save his beloved one'. He wouldn't be allowed to be together with Gray. This _had to be_ how he was going to save Gray. That meant...

"It's going to work out just fine. The oracle saw it. She said I'll make the right decision, and I choose this. Teach me. I'm gonna make it work."

Zeref didn't look convinced. "I needed _years_ of research until I was able to revive... that person. Even if you're able to succeed, you're not going to learn this in a few minutes. You said time is turned back because your lover dies, and that he dies at the end of the day. How much time do we have left?"

Natsu checked his watch, surprised to see that it was already half past six.

"Half an hour until he dies."

Zeref shook his head. "That's not nearly enough. We'll have to meet again in the next repetition. Do you already have a plan how to go about things with your lover? You said everyone beside you loses their memory. Have you thought about what you'll tell him, or if you want to let him know what's going to happen?"

Good question indeed. Natsu hadn't yet thought about either, seeing as he hadn't known what exactly was awaiting him.

Zeref continued without waiting for an answer: "There's something else you should know. He won't be fully human anymore if you revive him."

"What do you mean?"

Zeref looked away. "He'll be... a demon. _Your_ demon."

Natsu flinched. _A demon!_

"Are you _kidding_ me? There's _no way_ I'll turn him into some human-eating beast! _Why_ didn't you tell me this earlier?"

Zeref looked back up with wide eyes and his mouth open in surprise. " _Human-eating beast_...? You clearly have a wrong impression of a demon. That's... not what a demon is like. He'll still be himself and likely not even notice that anything changed."

_Liar._

Natsu clenched his fists. "Deliora killed Gray's parents. _One of your demons_! I've already fought another one, myself. You want to tell me they're no different from humans? _Bullshit!_ "

" _His parents_?" Zeref gulped, and then hesitantly continued, "He must hate me with a burning passion."

"He does."

"Why don't _you_ hate me?"

"How do you know that I don't?"

Zeref studied his face closely. "You're right. I don't know that. You need me to revive your friend, but you could still hate me. Well, then. Deliora and that other demon you fought were created out of nothing. Gray won't be any different from now except that he'll have a demonic form which makes him stronger, but he probably won't ever find out unless it gets activated."

"When does it get activated?"

"He can either activate it consciously, but that presumes he knows of his demonic side, which he won't unless somebody tells him. Or it'll get activated when he's desperate to defeat an enemy he wouldn't stand a chance against under normal circumstances. At least that's what my research suggests. There might be other circumstances in which the demonic form activates, but there's no way we can know that. After all, the only human demon I've ever created—" He lowered his gaze and with it also his voice. "—doesn't know that he's a demon yet."

" _Yet_? When did you revive him? How old is he?"

Zeref shook his head. "Human demons aren't immortal if that's what you want to know. They age like humans. There's another thing you need to know. You'll need a book for this and you'll have to guard it like gold afterward. Gray's life will depend not only on your life, but also on the book. If it gets destroyed, he dies."

A book...? The dream he had on the seventh repeat suddenly replayed in his mind.

~

_"Make it stop! You're going to kill him! We've suffered enough!"_

_"Too bad for you I'm not a person. I don't even have a body. I can't change this no matter what you say. These blades won't stop until your lover is dead, no matter what."_

_"Then what can I do?"_

_"Oh, I don't know. But did you see what's next to you?"_

_Natsu frantically looked around, searching for anything that would help him fend off the blades, but all he found was a book, buried under some stones. He kicked them aside to have a free view on the book and noticed that it was his diary._

_"How can a book save Gray from blades?"_

_~_

His diary. It wasn't supposed to _prevent_ Gray's death, but to _bring him back_ _to life_.

Natsu reached for the rucksack on his back and took it off. He practically tore the book out of it, uncaring that he ripped a seam of the brown bag.

"This—" He held up the diary for Zeref to see. "—is the most precious book I have." It was also the _only_ book he possessed, but there was no need to tell him that.

"Yeah, that should work."

"Good. One more thing: you said he won't notice, but Porlyusica said his magic vanishes right after his death. Will he get his magic back?"

"Naturally. That's why you need such a huge amount of magic in the first place. How much time do we have left before time rewinds?"

Natsu glanced at his watch. "Twenty minutes, given that Ultear turns it back right away... Oh! Wait, I think I can buy us another hour. But I'd have to do it soon, otherwise it'll be too late."

Zeref stared at Natsu in disbelief. "Well, if you say so. I shall just... wait here until you're back, then."

Natsu didn't even bother to stuff the diary back into his rucksack, but instead kept it in his hands when he ran off in the direction the others had left.

Following their scents back to the ship brought him there in a matter of a few minutes. Happy spotted him the second he emerged from the trees. He flew to Natsu and carried him back onto the ship, where everyone crowded Natsu as soon as he set foot on deck.

Gray slung his arms tightly around Natsu, ignoring the diary altogether. "Are you all right? How did it go?"

Natsu didn't want to give away too much information since he hadn't yet decided how to go about things. It was standing to reason that Gray wouldn't want to be turned into a demon, seeing as a demon killed his family. What Natsu would tell him was something he'd think about later, after he knew what exactly he had to do to Gray. So, for now, he decided to stay vague.

"Yeah, all right. It's going well so far, but I'll need more time with him. That's why I came." Without breaking the embrace, he looked at Jellal. "Please call Ultear."

Gray pushed him an arm's length away. "Did he try to hurt you?"

"No. And he won't."

"How can you know that? He's a dark mage! He killed my family! Why do you _trust_ him?"

 _Careful_ , a voice inside his head warned him.

"I don't trust him. Lydia said he's our only chance to save you. I have to do this or I'll never be able to re- ... save you."

Gray's eyes widened and he shook Natsu by the shoulders. "What is it? If we have to kill him in order to save my life, then let me help."

Shit. What to say? Natsu would have to lie. Telling Gray what he _really_ was about to do was out of the question.

Thankfully Jellal saved him from needing to answer by clearing his throat and announcing that the connection with Ultear was enabled. Natsu broke free from Gray's grip and stepped before the communication lacrima.

Convincing her of giving him the extra hour after Gray's death again proved to be easy. He only needed to mention that he'd found a way to save Gray but needed more time to learn how. She didn't ask any further questions, apparently noticing that he was in a rush.

Making Gray stay on the ship afterward was another matter altogether. He didn't take the message well that he was going to die again, insisting that he at least needed to protect Natsu's life if his was lost already.

"My life isn't in danger."

"No. I don't trust _him_ ," Gray snarled right into Natsu's face.

"Don't you trust _me_ when I say it's okay?"

"How should _you_ know it's going to be okay?"

This wasn't going anywhere. It was time to reveal some information and pressure Gray.

"Lydia showed me the future. I _saw_ that it's going to be all right, but if you hold me back any longer, it's going to _fail_. So let me go. _Now_."

"But—"

Makarov intervened by slapping Gray's hands off Natsu. "I think that's enough. Your only choice is to rely on Natsu, and if that's too much to ask, then I shall personally make sure you won't follow him." He turned his head toward Natsu. "Go, my child."

Natsu nodded at him briefly, ignoring Gray's shocked stare altogether. Happy grabbed Natsu by the scarf without being asked and carried him back onto the island, to the spot where Zeref waited. Natsu thanked him, opened his mouth to ask Happy to leave them alone, but it turned out to be needless. His friend already flew off, shouting, "Please take care of yourself," on his way up.

Zeref appeared not to have moved a centimeter while Natsu was gone. He silently observed everything and waited until Happy was well out of earshot before speaking.

"How long do we have?"

Natsu glanced at his watch. Seven pm. That meant Gray was about to—

_'No. Don't think about that now.'_

"Exactly an hour from now."

"Okay. I'd prefer to use this hour for preparations rather than teaching. You have to make some decisions, and you need to have a clear mind when we start."

Natsu hung his head low. He'd have to leave his friends, his _family_ behind. He needed to think about how to end things. Should he just sneak away without saying a word, leaving them wondering what happened? They'd probably search for him everywhere, not leaving a stone unturned. Better not. A clear cut would be for the best. He didn't want anyone to hope that he'd return when there was no chance that he ever could.

"It's probably for the best if I tell them that I'll drop out of the guild for some reason. And then I'll... I don't know, live somewhere on my own, far away from other humans, just like you."

Zeref nodded. "That's a wise decision. Do you already know where? Judging from the behavior of your better half, he won't let you go that easily. After his revival, he'll be unconscious for a while, but when he wakes up, he'll surely search for you. You better get away from there as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I better... I don't know any place that's uninhabited. Maybe staying on this island until I find somewhere to stay would be best."

Zeref's eyes opened wide in surprise. "N-no. You can't. That's out of the question."

Why did he react this strongly?

"What's the big deal? I can live on the other end of the island. It's big enough for the both of us after all. I can survive on my own, so you don't have to look after me or anything."

" _No_! That's not the point."

Zeref looked _terrified_. What exactly was his problem?

"Your curse won't reach me and my curse won't reach you. That's what's bothering you, right? Unless the range of my curse may differ from yours?"

Zeref determinedly shook his head. "No. Even if it does, that's not it. This island is not a safe place for you."

"What do you mean? Are there any monsters here who'll eat me while I'm sleeping?"

Zeref's jaw dropped. "Err... no, but... you're not _that_ far off."

"Is there another person on this island? There's a scent on you that doesn't belong to you."

After a second of staring in disbelief, Zeref let out a defeated sigh. "Person...? I think _monster_ fits him better. Have you ever heard of _Acnologia_?"

Natsu shook his head, which prompted Zeref to tell him the story of a Dragon Slayer called Acnologia who was born over four hundred years ago. He became corrupted by his power and eradicated all the dragons, bathed in their blood and finally transformed into a dragon himself, with the ability to shift between his human and dragon form anytime. Zeref said that his goal was to kill all the Dragon Slayers, and thus Natsu shouldn't come anywhere near him.

"But I'm already here and he hasn't come to kill me yet."

"That's because I'm with you. He knows you're my little brother and that I'll protect you. He can't defeat me, so there's no way he could kill you while I'm with you."

"Then just let me stay with you. He won't attack me this way, right?"

Natsu bit his tongue. Why did he propose something like that? Zeref was his _enemy_ , a _liar_ , and the one who was responsible for the death of Gray's parents, along with other countless lives.

Then again, he was also the one who would help him to _save_ Gray's life. For whatever reason, Natsu couldn't help but feel secure around Zeref. His scent was too familiar and soothing, and Natsu's nose never lied. Was it true that Zeref was his big brother? Why should he lie about such a thing in the first place?

"True, he probably won't attack, but what do you think will happen if two cursed people stay in the same place? I've never met anyone else who was also cursed, but I guess we'd just—" He gulped. "—end up hurting one another."

"We could... stay close to each other but always with a... what, twenty-meter distance between us? Come on, I don't want to have to search for a place to stay _before_ I save Gray." Natsu let out an unhappy sigh. "This is already... hard on me."

Zeref sucked in a sharp breath, looking worried. "I... sorry. Well, if you really do stay away from me, I guess it's okay... until you find somewhere else to stay. But that way he'll still find out..." He trailed off and left it at that, not showing any inclination to continue his sentence.

"Find out what?"

"That... uh, that you're here."

"Why should that be a secret?"

Zeref's eyes narrowed. "Like I said, he's going to try to kill you. It'd be better if he didn't know your whereabouts."

Natsu still didn't understand why that should be a problem when Zeref was around to protect him, but then Zeref changed the topic, making Natsu forget about the question.

"Do you think you could come here a bit earlier on the next repeat so that I have more time to teach you? Don't forget you'll also have to convince me anew to teach you in the first place since I think I'll forget what happened today, right? At least I have no recollection of this day ever happening before."

Natsu felt his insides clench at the thought that he'd have to do repeat everything he said. And just when he thought that he'd never have to repeat his words again because of Lucy's brilliant solution...

_'Wait. What's wrong with giving Zeref a page of the diary, too?'_

Natsu suggested the idea, explaining that the pages of his diary would stay where they were. Zeref accepted the suggestion and also offered that in this case, he could come to wherever Natsu was. It was admittedly the most comfortable solution, but Natsu didn't want him to come to their guild and possibly cause a commotion. Thus, he asked Zeref to meet him in the woods near Magnolia. Together, they thought about a time for the meeting and decided that all things considered, early afternoon would be reasonable. Zeref would need some hours to get to Magnolia. Natsu had some things to take care of in the morning, plus he had to be at his strongest for the lesson and therefore should eat lunch before they met.

By the time Zeref sat down to write a text for himself, Natsu's head was spinning. Too much information, too many unanswered questions. His thoughts were in total disarray. There was a lump in his throat that made breathing difficult, but he couldn't make it go away. The questions would have to wait until the next repeat to be asked, seeing as their time was running out. Zeref had only little time left to write a text that would convince himself of helping Natsu out.

Zeref chose pages nearing the end of the diary to write on. When he was finished and about to tear the pages out, Natsu flinched and shouted, "Wait!"

Zeref paused, staring up at Natsu questioningly.

"That book... You said Gray's life will be bound to it and that I have to protect it."

"Yeah, well, but that's only _after_ you've conducted the revival. I advise you not to rip out any pages after that, but it's no problem if I do it now."

Natsu nodded, checking his watch nervously. A minute before eight.

"Hurry. It's safest if you put it somewhere in a pocket. A friend of mine already proved it'll stay there."

Zeref nodded, did as he was told, and then got to his feet.

"We don't have much time left, right?"

"No. A minute, tops."

Zeref seemed to fight with himself for a second, but then he met Natsu's gaze head-on. "I don't mean to keep secrets from you, but I didn't tell you the whole truth today. I wasn't sure if I should burden you any more than you already are. I'll tell you the next time we meet, so please ask me about our past. You have a right to know."

This made Natsu's head spin even more. He wasn't able to decide whether he should be happy or angry or whatever, so he went for a simple, "Oh. Okay."

A sad smile spread out on Zeref's face. "I'm truly happy to have met you again and to soon have you back in my life if everything goes as you plan. I just wish the circumstances weren't this unfortunate. I mean it when I say that I want you to be happy. If you're really going to be cursed, I'll do _anything_ to be able to break it and bring you and y—" He clutched his head. "Ahhh! No! Run!"

Natsu was about to follow his request, but then dizziness overcame him. He saw the sphere expanding, heard Zeref screaming at him to _run_ , but Natsu passed out before the black clouds came anywhere near him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No update next Sunday. I'm still not sure how long Chapter 22 will be. Please be patient.
> 
> Your thoughts on the chapter? Any idea about future chapters you want to share?


	22. Day 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Natsu met Zeref, he roughly knows what to do to save Gray. How will he handle the situation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late *nervous chuckle* ... Hey, at least it's a long update.
> 
>  **Chapter warning: Threesome (m/m/m) - Jellal/Gray/Natsu. If you are not comfortable with this: As soon as you read something you don't like (don't worry, the story's leading to it _slowly_ ), please ctrl+f to "Everyone in the guild hall" and start reading there. You won't miss anything important to the plot.** Apart from that, the usual warnings apply: tissue warning, depressing thoughts and so on and so forth. If you've managed to get this far, there shouldn't be a problem.
> 
> Have fun!

Natsu shot up straight in his bed. His head felt blissfully light, at least in the first few seconds before reality kicked back in and sent his thoughts spinning.

_'I have to abandon Gray and everyone else who's dear to me. I have to lie to them or at least withhold a part of the truth. I will turn Gray into a demon under Zeref's instructions.'_

A wave of nausea overcame Natsu.

 _'He loves me. He trusts me. I'm going to betray his trust. We won't ever be able to see each other again or he'll_ die _.'_

All the scenes of Gray dying replayed in his mind, especially the one where Natsu had pushed him into his own blades. The nausea intensified, and Natsu barely made it to the toilet before puking.

As Natsu's limbs didn't stop shaking, his morning routine took him longer than usual. He made plans for the day while the hot water ran down his body, washing his sweaty stench away.

The previous day should've shown Jellal and Ultear that Natsu wasn't going to commit suicide again, so the last thing he expected was Gray bursting into his house. He obviously miscalculated, since Natsu heard a loud _bang_ from the entrance door when he was in the middle of rinsing his hair.

The bathroom door flew open a few seconds later. Natsu could see that Gray was out of breath, but couldn't make out his expression since the translucent plastic partition skewed the view.

"Are you all right? Jellal said you might be in danger and I need to hurry." His tone was worried.

 _In danger_? The previous time, Gray stated outright that he believed Natsu was suicidal. Had Jellal told him a different story this time?

Trying to keep voice free of anxiety, Natsu said, "I'm fine, and I'm in the middle of showering. Could you wait in my bedroom until I'm done?"

Gray took a step toward the shower. The view was still too distorted to make out his expression. "You sure everything's fine? Jellal looked seriously troubled. What business does he have with you anyway?"

Natsu barely held back a groan. There was no way he could leave the guild like this, with Gray, Lucy, and probably soon also the others knowing about his dilemma. First he'd have to destroy all the evidence of this loop ever happening, and that included asking Ultear and Jellal to keep quiet about it. As for this repeat, he'd probably have to explain everything all over again, at least to Gray, now that he already knew that _something_ was going on.

"Yes, I'm sure, and I'll explain later. Please leave."

There was a short pause. Natsu could see Gray reaching out for the shower and retracting his hand not a second later. "Okay... I'm right here if you need me, so please call for me if something's wrong."

"Okay."

Gray went back into the bedroom and closed the door.

Natsu wanted to turn the water back on, but he missed the tap by several centimeters. His hands were trembling like a leaf. How had he not noticed a tremor this strong while Gray had been in the bathroom? He felt choked. His legs started to tremble as well, to the point where he could no longer stay upright. He sank to the bottom of the shower tub, staring apathetically at his trembling hands.

 _'Today is probably the second last day I can spend here. I'll never see Gray again after that. I'll never see my friends again. I'll lose them all. And not only that—I'll be forced to live a life in solitude if I don't want to hurt anyone. A life like Zeref leads it. Far away from anyone I love. Am I_ really _ready for that?'_

What a stupid question. He'd never be ready, but he had to do it anyway. It would break the hearts of not only him and Gray, but his friends as well, but at least it meant that Gray could live on. A lost life was permanent, while broken hearts could heal eventually.

Would Natsu ever be able to get over the loss of Gray in his life?

The lump in Natsu's throat grew even bigger. He didn't even want to imagine the possibility that he would one day _not_ be in love with Gray anymore. The thought alone pained him. Would Gray one day stop loving him?

_'Cut the crap! Stop imagining what could be. Focus. Breathe.'_

He took some deep and deliberately slow breaths. Dizziness overcame him, but when his breath finally evened out, he could see clearly again. He finished his shower without further complications. There was not a single item of clothing in his bathroom, so a towel would have to do.

He was about to open the door, but then paused when he noticed that his teeth were still dirty. If nobody remembered this day, there was no way he'd refrain from kissing Gray, so he went back to the sink and brushed his teeth.

As soon as Natsu opened the door, Gray gasped and jumped up from the bed. He was right in front of Natsu a second later, his brows furrowed in sorrow. His lips were red and glistened as if he'd bitten them until a moment ago.

Without thinking, Natsu took a step forward, wrapped his arms around Gray's torso, and sealed their lips together. Gray didn't show any reaction whatsoever in the first moment, but then he let out a surprised gasp and pulled back, surprise written all over his face.

"Shhh. Just close your eyes and enjoy."

Natsu couldn't wait even one second longer, so he put a hand on Gray's neck and pulled him in again. Natsu's eyelids fluttered shut the moment their lips met. This time Gray didn't break the kiss, but he took his sweet time realizing what they were doing until he finally reciprocated.

Natsu pushed Gray backward without breaking the contact until the back of Gray's knees bumped against the bed. When Natsu gently laid him back onto the mattress, their lips parted. Gray's face was flushed, and his heart beat wildly. He looked as if he was about to ask what this was about, but Natsu wasn't in the mood for talking. This was the last chance he'd ever get at this, so he was going to make it memorable—if only for himself.

He climbed onto Gray's lap, and before Gray could utter a word, their lips were pressed against each other's again. Natsu lowered his upper body onto Gray, adding more pressure to the kiss. It was chaste in the beginning, but when Gray relaxed into the touch, Natsu licked over Gray's lips, requesting to be let in. Natsu was unsure what Gray liked ever since he'd confessed that he disliked saliva. He tried his very best not to drool too much, but it proved to be difficult.

Not wanting to gross Gray out, Natsu removed his lips with a wet plop and hastily wiped the saliva from both their lips.

He couldn't help staring at Gray—the sight of his face was just too precious. Flushed, disheveled, and totally out of it, judging by his distant stare. The understanding that they weren't kissing anymore seemed to seep in slowly, as Gray's eyes widened only a few seconds later. He blushed and averted his gaze abruptly. A soft laugh escaped Natsu's lips.

"No need to be shy. You're a good kisser."

Gray choked on his saliva. He hastily swallowed, his eyes still not meeting Natsu's. "Thanks, but... what is this about? No need to do something like _this_ to show me that you're fine."

Natsu cupped Gray's chin and tilted his head back up, prompting Gray to meet his gaze. "I love you. I've been _dying_ to do this for a long time."

Gray's eyes widened. "Wh- _what_? B-but you love—"

"Lucy? No, I don't. It's always been _you_. You were just too blind to notice. Just as I was too blind to notice that you love me, too."

Gray gasped. "How do you—"

Natsu leaned down, cutting off Gray's speech with another kiss. He didn't want to talk now. All he wanted was to enjoy his possibly last chance before all would end and—

 _'Stop thinking about that! I'm here with him now, it's fine now, don't think about the future._ This right now _is what counts. Gray is close to me, kissing me, hugging me. I love him, he loves me. Everything's perfect right now.'_

Natsu managed to shut down his negative thoughts by focusing on his senses. Gray's supple lips on his. Gray's warm hands on his back. Gray's unique scent. All these perceptions caused an intensely good feeling in Natsu's gut, and his cock stirred.

Natsu was about to sit back up, but Gray didn't let him. He tightened his grip and pulled him back down, sealing their lips in a passionate kiss once again. When Natsu tried to at least bring a little distance between their hips, Gray's hands wandered lower. He groped Natsu's ass while thrusting his hips upward, rubbing their crotches against each other's.

Natsu groaned into the kiss. Gray wasn't all that soft anymore, either. At this rate, Natsu knew that he would get carried away if they didn't stop soon. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but did he have enough time? Spending a few hours with Gray surely wouldn't endanger his plans, right? A quick glance to his watch showed him that he had about five hours before he'd meet with Zeref. That much time should suffice, even if he let himself be carried away. After all, the only things he had to take care of in the morning were talking to Ultear and removing all evidence of the time loop.

When he thought about the imminent farewell, fear crept up Natsu's spine, threatening to get the best of him. However, Gray's hand came up to caress his hair, snapping him out of it. All the thoughts about the future faded as Gray massaged his scalp, sensually running his fingers through Natsu's hair.

The kisses they shared were sometimes gentle, sometimes demanding and passionate, and left both of them hard and panting heavily. Gray thankfully didn't try to ask questions anymore. All the sounds that left him were moans and hums. His hands roved all over Natsu's body, exploring and groping.

When he could barely hold back anymore, Natsu lifted his body to break the contact. The sight of Gray's glassy eyes and his flushed cheeks only increased the desire, but there was something he needed to do before.

"Gray, do you... uh, want to—" He gulped. "—f-fuck me?"

Natsu could feel Gray's dick twitching in his pants, making it harder still not to start dry-humping Gray. It was obvious that Gray, too, was trying very hard to hold back, with his tense jaw and his glassy eyes trying to focus on Natsu.

"I don't know what brought all of this on, but after all we've just done, I gotta believe you when you say you love me. I'd be lying if I said I don't want to have sex. Are you sure you want it though?"

Natsu nodded. "I'm sure. I want you."

Gray's eyes lit up, his lips pulling into a grin. "Okay. If you're really sure, then I'd _love_ to fuck you."

Natsu felt heat creeping into his cheeks. "All right. Gimme a moment."

He got up from the bed, the towel falling off with the movement, but Natsu didn't care. He quite enjoyed Gray gaping at his stiff cock as if he'd never seen another guy's hard dick before—and for all Natsu knew, that might well be so.

When he walked over to the bathroom, Gray asked what he was doing. Natsu only looked over his shoulder and vaguely answered that he had to prepare himself. Gray protested, saying that he could take care of the preparations. Natsu rolled his eyes and decided to be bold.

"I wasn't exactly prepared for this, so I'm still _dirty_."

Gray gasped and stuttered something that sounded like an apology. Natsu couldn't help a smile as he entered the bathroom.

He was going to do this properly. That meant doing all the stuff he'd wanted to do with Gray, especially what they'd already talked about. Blindfolding and handcuffs.

It was convenient that Natsu already owned handcuffs. He'd bought two pairs about two years ago, one of them plain ones and the other one with black plush, not knowing what Gray would prefer. It happened on the evening of a day on which Gray had been exceptionally nice to him and even initiated more body contact than usual, making Natsu hope that there was a chance of his feelings being reciprocated. Natsu had let himself be carried away by his fantasy which—of course—ended up with them in bed and Gray asking to be handcuffed. Back then he'd cursed himself for his stupidity right on the next day when Gray treated him coldly, shattering his hopes once again. As soon as Natsu came home on that day, he tossed the still unopened boxes into the farthest corner of his dresser, covering it with clothes he rarely wore. He still remembered that he'd cried for hours that evening.

Just remembering it made his eyes prickle. However, it was different now. Natsu knew of Gray's feelings. He knew that Gray's fickle behavior had only been caused by him coming to terms with his feelings for Natsu.

_'That's right. Gray loves me. He's waiting for me right now, horny and probably ready to make good use of those handcuffs. Oh, all the things we could do...'_

Natsu's cock gave an interested twitch, so he hurried up and got the cleaning over with as quickly as he possibly could.

When Natsu emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, he found Gray sitting on his bed—naked and hard, his hand wrapped around the base of his dick, and a bead of pre-cum shining on his tip. He looked embarrassed and agitated, not meeting Natsu's eye when he got closer to the bed. His breath wasn't even and his pulse rather quick.

_'He already started, huh.'_

Natsu lay down on his side, right next to Gray, tracing his fingers over Gray's chest. He leaned in and nibbled at Gray's earlobe. "Impatient, are we?"

"Sorry. I just... uh, wanted to keep it hard."

"Mind showing me how you _kept it hard_?"

Gray bit his lower lip. "That's embarrassing." A shudder ran through Gray's body.

"Come on, I bet you love to be watched. How about I touch myself, too? You could watch me while I watch you."

Without giving him time to answer, Natsu straddled Gray's legs. Their cocks didn't touch, but Natsu would have to slide up only a bit until they would. Maybe he'd stroke both together later, but for now, he wanted to see Gray masturbate.

Natsu knew from experience that it didn't take much for Gray to get over his initial shame. Maybe seeing Natsu stroking himself would help, so Natsu did just that.

Gray lifted his head and stared in awe as Natsu worked himself slowly.

"C'mon, touch yourself, too."

Gray seemed to be unable to say or do anything. His gaze flickered between Natsu's face and his cock, a needy whimper escaping him.

Suddenly a movement in the corner of Natsu's eyes caught his attention. He turned his head sideways, stopping his stroking. Outside of the window, Jellal had apparently just jumped onto a branch of the nearest tree to check on Gray.

When their eyes met, Jellal rolled his eyes and said in an annoyed tone, "Horny teenagers," probably unaware that Natsu could hear him through the glass.

Natsu had an idea. He was convinced that Gray would like it, so he didn't hesitate. Just when Jellal was about to jump down again, Natsu shook his head. Jellal paused with a frown. Natsu gestured that he wanted him to stay where he was and watch.

"Why?" Jellal muttered to himself.

All Natsu wanted was for this to be as fulfilling as possible, and with both their preferences of being watched, this was the perfect opportunity. Would Jellal agree if this was the only reason or would he need a pretense?

Gray interjected, "What are you doing there? Why is Jellal here? Did he follow me?"

Natsu flashed him a smile that was intended to be innocent, but probably came out as pervy.

Jellal looked at them expectantly. For want of another idea, Natsu pressed his palms together and held them up in a pleading gesture in Jellal's direction, bowing his head slightly.

A sigh escaped Jellal's lips. "What have I done to deserve this?"

Natsu shrugged.

Jellal cocked his head. "Wait... can you hear me?"

Natsu gave a small nod.

"Oh, good. Is this for your private pleasure—" Natsu nodded. "—or is there an actual reason why you want me to watch?" Natsu shook his head.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Gray wanted to know, but Natsu ignored him for now.

Jellal glowered at him. "No, thanks."

Natsu lifted his hands a bit higher and bowed his head a bit deeper.

Jellal snorted. "Is there any negative consequence if I refuse?"

Natsu thought about it for a second. Was there?

Before he could react, Jellal asked another question. "Will I forget this?"

This time, Natsu didn't hesitate to nod.

"Oh my god. _Fine_. 'Do everything he wants,' huh? I swear, Ultear owes me big after this." He took a seat on his branch with his feet dangling in the air and his side leaned against the stem.

With a triumphant grin, Natsu turned his attention back to Gray. "He'll stay there and watch us."

"What? Why?"

"Because this turns you on, right? It's the same for me, so why not?"

Gray's physical reaction and scent proved that he liked the current situation _very much_ , never mind his reply that he felt exposed.

"That's kinda the point, to feel exposed. We _are_ exposed after all, but I like it. Being watched makes everything more exciting, don't you think?"

"W-well... yeah. But... did you plan this? Is Jellal hand in glove with you?"

Did it appear like that? Natsu had to admit, the situation must've looked very suspicious from Gray's point of view: Jellal lured him to Natsu's house, then Natsu seduced him, and now Jellal was sitting outside the window and watching them masturbate. It was probably okay to make Gray believe his assumption was right—for now. Natsu was too horny for explanations.

"Maybe."

Gray's eyes widened, the blush on his face growing deeper. "Y-you two... you're—" He bit his lip. A shadow passed Gray's face, but he caught himself quickly. Then he shook his head, looking Natsu right in the eye. "I never thought you were such a huge pervert."

He'd probably come to a conclusion that was totally wrong, but _damn_ , Natsu needed it so badly right now that he didn't even care. He could explain everything later.

"Look who's talking. Now come on, we don't want to make him wait any longer, eh?"

With that, Natsu resumed stroking himself, slowly at first. He looked at Jellal again, checking if he made good on his promise. Jellal was indeed watching, although he put a hand over his eyes in shame when Natsu licked his lips.

"Hey. Flirt with _me_ , Casanova."

Natsu focused his gaze on Gray again. "Touch your cock."

Gray rolled his eyes. "Woah, slow down. How should I handle all these feelings?"

"Should I do it for you?"

"Wha—"

Natsu took Gray's wrist, placed his hand around the neglected cock, and then guided his hand up and down. Gray threw his head back and moaned.

"Mhhh that's it, let me hear your voice."

Natsu guided Gray's hand a few more strokes, but Gray eventually gave in and did the stroking himself.

Like this, they pumped themselves, holding each other's heated gaze all the while. It was like the knowledge that this was going to be their last time erased all of Natsu's inhibitions and amplified his pleasure.

"Gray... you're so sexy. I c-can't wait to have that hard cock of yours in my mouth."

"Ahh, fuck! That's a dirty tongue y-you have there. Shit!"

Gray's movement stopped abruptly and he closed his eyes, trying to breathe slowly.

Natsu slid up on Gray's legs until their cocks and balls touched. Gray moaned at the contact. Without giving him time to adjust, Natsu took them both into his hand and continued stroking.

Gray squirmed and sucked in a sharp breath. He apparently wanted to evade Natsu's grip, but in his position, he couldn't do anything. The squirming only increased the friction.

"S-stop, _ahhh_ , stop! N-Natsu, if you d-don't stop, I'll c-come."

It was no use; Natsu was too far gone to think that it was too early to come. They could just go another round after this. Instead of stopping, he sped up. All that left Natsu's mouth were broken moans and fragments of Gray's name.

He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he felt his own orgasm building. However, before it could go any further than that, a hand around his wrist forced him to pause.

Natsu wanted to complain, wanted to make Gray let go, but when his eyes met Gray's, nothing came out. Judging by Gray's clouded gaze, he was already much closer than Natsu and his willpower was the only thing preventing him from coming.

"I d-don't want to come like this. Y-you said something about... my cock in your mouth. I want to try that."

Natsu looked down between the two of them. Both of their tips were glistening with pre-cum, their cocks rock-hard.

"But I'm ready to burst."

Gray smiled that cocky smile of his. "That's exactly why you shouldn't. Seeing you like this turns me on."

Well, shit. There was no way Natsu could ever deny Gray something like this. Why hadn't Gray said so any of the other times? Did Natsu being blunt rub off on Gray? Either way, Natsu was determined to fulfill Gray's wish, even if that meant being on edge for a while longer.

He loosened his grip and got on all fours. He crawled down until his face was level with Gray's crotch, and then leaned down. Gray's cock bounced happily upward as Natsu's head dived in to lick a stripe from base to tip.

Natsu repeated the same thing twice before he lifted one hand off the mattress so that he could hold Gray's dick in place.

When Natsu wrapped his lips around Gray's tip, he heard a hiss—but not only from one person. It wasn't surprising that Gray made such a sound, considering what Natsu was doing to him. However, Jellal producing the same sound was not something Natsu expected, given how annoyed he'd been.

Without releasing Gray's tip, Natsu cocked his head to the side to check on Jellal. He was surprised to find Jellal biting his lip, his face flushed. It looked like he was seriously turned on but trying to hide it.

Natsu didn't take his eyes off Jellal as he took Gray deeper into his mouth, his cheek tenting where Gray's tip pressed against it. Jellal shuddered at the sight. Could it be that the reason why Jellal didn't want to watch them was because he knew he'd _enjoy_ it?

Natsu moved his head up and down slowly, closely watching Jellal's reaction. No matter how much Jellal tried to mask it, he was clearly _aroused_. He shifted on his branch, probably thinking that his attempt to adjust his boner was subtle when it was clearly visible through his thin pants. Him shooting angry glares didn't do much to refute Natsu's assumption.

"Do you want to eye-fuck him or give me a blowjob? You suck at doing both at the same time."

Now that Gray mentioned it... Natsu had indeed stopped moving somewhere along the line.

It was hard to concentrate, knowing that Jellal was anything _but_ repulsed by what they did, so Natsu sat up, fixing his gaze on Gray.

"Jellal _enjoys_ this."

Gray narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "You sound surprised. I thought this was your plan right from the start."

Could it be that Gray believed that Jellal and Natsu were a couple? But how could he, when Natsu spent nearly every waking hour at the guild or with his friends?

"Actually... No, it wasn't. This is about you and me, not about him. I just... know that you like being watched, and so do I. That's why I asked him to stay."

Gray's brows furrowed. "How can you say that you _know_ what I like when I've never told you? You also knew I was in love with you even though I never confessed. I thought you have figured it out somehow, but _this_? You couldn't possibly guess my kinks, and deducing it from my stripping habit is a bit far-fetched."

If Natsu explained everything now, he'd completely ruin the mood. However, he needed to give Gray _something_ , or else it'd end in Gray rejecting Natsu again.

"We're caught in a time loop, and only I remember what happened. This is the twelfth time I'm reliving the day."

Gray opened his mouth, but Natsu knew what was coming. He beat Gray to it.

"I know you don't believe me; you never do right away. This isn't by far the first time I'm trying to explain this to you. Do you think you could you just... try to believe me for now? I promise I'll explain everything later, but right now I'm not in the mood for talking."

To emphasize his request, Natsu brushed the back of his hand over Gray's cock.

There was silence for a few seconds. Natsu was about to ask whether he should stop touching Gray since he showed no reaction whatsoever, but then Gray nodded, albeit hesitantly.

"All right. It's confusing, but I believe you. Have you ever done... _something_ with Jellal before?"

Heat crept into Natsu's cheeks. "N-no! He saw and heard us doing stuff sometimes, but until now I thought he was disgusted by it. His reaction was always a rather annoyed one. I... I never thought that he _likes_ watching us."

Images flashed through Natsu's mind. Images of Jellal giving Gray head, of Jellal being fucked by Gray while sucking Natsu off.

_'Oh, hell no! God, why does this turn me on so much? Gray already said he doesn't want to share me, so this is out of the question.'_

Natsu snapped out of his thoughts when Gray's hand wrapped around his dick and stroked it lazily.

"Well, you certainly don't mind the idea of him enjoying it, huh. Do you want to invite him to join us?"

It didn't sound like a mock question, but rather like a sincere one. There was pure lust in Gray's eyes.

"Y-you once said that you don't want anybody else touching me though. That you'd probably rip his head off."

"I did? Right now, seeing Jellal and you, both turned on... I think it'd be hot to invite him, if you promise that you'll stay with _me_ when this is over."

Gray's heated gaze and his eager stroking spoke volumes. He meant it. He wanted to try a threesome.

Natsu could barely hold back a moan. " _F-fuck_. You sure?"

Gray nodded eagerly, emphasizing his approval with a twist of his wrist that made Natsu shudder with pleasure.

Nothing could hold Natsu back anymore; he was on his feet and at the window in no time, ignoring Gray's frustrated grunt at the loss of dick against his palm.

Jellal flinched when he saw Natsu open the window, but he stayed put. He shifted his thighs a bit, probably in the belief that the new position would hide his arousal. It _was_ a bit more concealed, but the damage was already done. Natsu had already seen it. Though, even if he hadn't, he would've smelled Jellal's arousal by now.

"Yo. It's not very satisfying just sitting around and watching us, right? Wanna have some fun, too?"

If Jellal was taken aback by the invitation, he didn't let on. He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms before his chest.

"Who'd want that? I'm just here because you asked me to. Stop presuming stupid things."

All right. If he wanted to play games, then Natsu could do that.

With the most casual tone he could muster in his current state, Natsu said, " 'That so? Well, can't be helped if you don't want. I'll leave the window open for you. Just in case you change your mind."

 _'... and so you can hear our moans_ ,' Natsu added in his thoughts.

Without paying attention to Jellal's frustrated sigh, Natsu got back on the bed. He straddled Gray's hips and took his mouth with ferocity. Their cocks rubbed against each other just slightly as their bodies moved to adjust into a comfortable position.

If it wasn't for Natsu's heightened senses, he would've missed the barely audible hiss and the whispered "Bastard" that left Jellal's lips. Natsu couldn't help but smile into the kiss, which prompted Gray to pull back and shoot a questioning look at him.

Natsu leaned in and whispered, "Jellal is trying to act tough, but he's getting riled up. Let's see how much self-control he has."

Gray let out a strangled moan. When Natsu sat back up and saw Gray's clouded stare, he knew that inviting Jellal had been the right choice. He'd never seen such a lustful expression on Gray's face before.

"S-so what did you have in mind?" Gray whispered back.

Natsu's lips pulled into a lewd smile.

"I happen to own handcuffs. What do you think, would you like to use them?"

***

Some minutes later found Natsu blindfolded and restricted, moaning and begging for Gray to fuck him harder. The bastard was moving his hips teasingly slow. No matter how much Natsu dug his heels into Gray's ass, the pace stayed the same. Or was he even getting slower the more Natsu pressed?

"C'mon, I _need_ it. You're a fucking tease!"

Gray rested his weight on Natsu's body, bringing his mouth close to Natsu's ear. He whispered, "You should see Jellal. I bet he's gonna barge in very soon."

A loud moan escaped Natsu's lips, but when he replied, he kept his voice low. "Details please."

"His mouth is wide open, he can't take his eyes off us, his face is red, and his hips are moving up and down slightly. I doubt he's even aware of it. Whenever I look at him, he bites his lip. I wonder what he'll want to do. Do you have any preference?"

Natsu gasped. All the filthy images his mind supplied him... It was too much. There were so many possibilities with three people, and all of them sounded appealing.

"No. If it leads to all of us cumming, I don't care either way. Now _fuck_ me!"

"You'd let him come inside of you or me?"

"Yes, and I'd also like to see you fuck him, give him a blowjob, or the other way 'round, or make you watch while I fuck him or give him a blowjob, or _anything_ , and now _do me properly already_!"

"How about—" Gray took Natsu's earlobe between his teeth. "—kissing?"

How Gray could still control himself like this was a mystery to Natsu. All he could think of was _'faster, harder, more, now!'_

_'Just a little more. Your scent and your body tell me that you can't hold back any longer.'_

"I did say anything. How about you kissing him with my cum in your or his mouth?"

Gray let out a strangled moan. " _Fuck_ , Natsu! Now you've done it."

Natsu didn't even have time to think, _'finally!'_ before Gray's hips started to snap back and forth with force, pushing him closer to the headboard with each thrust.

It didn't take long until both were out of breath and covered in a sheen of sweat, moaning and gasping, everything but their pleasure completely forgotten.

Natsu could tell that Gray's orgasm was nearing, with his movements getting erratic and his moans becoming clipped and louder.

"N-Natsu... ahh... gonna... c-co—"

"Oh no, you aren't," Jellal's voice resounded. Suddenly Gray's cock was pulled out and his weight vanished.

"No, put me down, I'm so close, let me—"

"Shut up. You teased me and now it's my turn."

Natsu hadn't even noticed him entering the room, let alone climb onto the bed. The shaking mattress told Natsu that Gray was struggling against Jellal's grip, but he gave up quickly.

"Now, now. You asked for this. I merely accepted your offer, and I have plans with the two of you. If your asshole isn't washed yet, then do it now."

Gray growled, but Natsu could feel his underlying excitement.

"Fine."

Bedsheets rustled and weight was shifted. Gray had probably gotten up.

"If you wanna... you know, get into the mood, then feel free to... do whatever. Um, you know," Gray said from halfway to the bathroom.

"Anything?" Jellal's voice was deep and raspy with lust.

The footsteps halted.

"Yes. But if you dare hurt him, I'll hurt you."

Gray's voice was firm, no hint of doubt or jealousy. Natsu wondered what it was that had changed his mind so drastically in comparison to that time a few days—no, repetitions—back. It didn't really count a change of mind though, as this version of Gray had never seriously considered the option of sharing Natsu before. Could a different approach of the topic make such a big difference?

The bathroom door closed, leaving him and Jellal alone. Being blindfolded and handcuffed was already an unfamiliar feeling, but at least he'd been at _Gray's_ mercy up until then, who he knew and trusted with his life. Not that he didn't trust Jellal—he certainly did or he wouldn't allow this—but it was different. He wasn't used to Jellal's presence, to his scent, his movements. He couldn't anticipate the way he'd behave in the slightest. A shudder ran through him. He was naked and achingly hard in front of a man whom he hadn't thought was even interested in other men until a few minutes ago.

The mattress beside him dipped, and a second later a hand brushed lightly over Natsu's cheek, Jellal's breath tickling his lips.

"I swear, you two will be the end of me. Do you even know how long it's been since I last had sex?"

"Must've been far too long, huh?"

"Over four years since I last slept with a man."

Natsu was about to ask when his last time with a woman had been since this sounded like he'd done both. However, the question died in his throat when Jellal kissed him on the lips, just a whisper of a touch, already gone before Natsu had the chance to kiss back.

The weight shifted.

"Anything that's off-limits?"

Natsu shook his head. Gray had just said that anything was okay, and Natsu was so horny that he wanted just about everything Jellal had in mind. But then again, he didn't know about Jellal's kinks. What if he was into something Natsu didn't like?

"Just... ask before you do something out of the ordinary."

"The ordinary being...?"

"Kissing, touching, groping, licking, fingering, fucking, such things."

Jellal hissed. "All right. Fuck, I'm so horny. Mind skipping the foreplay?"

Natsu's lips pulled into a sly smile. "Well, I already had a foreplay, and my asshole feels really empty right now."

It took Jellal about twenty seconds to strip, lube himself up, and bring himself into position. Natsu noticed his cock was thicker than Gray's as he pushed in, so it took Natsu a little getting used to. Jellal was nowhere near as gentle as Gray was, neither was he particularly trying to aim for Natsu's prostate, but it was fine. It didn't hurt, and in Natsu's state of arousal anything felt good.

Since he had Jellal so close and Gray was out of earshot, Natsu decided to seize the opportunity.

"J-Jellal, there's something— _ahhh_!—I n-need you to do for me."

"Oh?" He snapped his hips forward with even more force, speaking a word per thrust. "And. What. Would. That. Be?"

"S-stop moving for a bit, will you?"

Jellal complained but stopped anyway. Natsu asked him to tell Ultear to conceal all evidence of this loop ever happening starting from the next repetition. He gave a short explanation that he'd need to leave the guild and didn't want them to chase after him or even feel guilty for not stopping him. He said that he'd probably have to lie to make them let him go. Jellal promised he'd tell her later.

"Thanks, and now move."

Jellal didn't need to be told twice.

When Gray emerged from the bathroom, he didn't say anything for a long while. He just walked over to the bed and watched Jellal roughly fucking Natsu.

It was amazing how few sounds Jellal made during sex, while Natsu couldn't hold back gasps and moans. The handcuffs were getting on his nerves, if only because he desperately wished he could stroke himself. Gray did just that, Natsu could tell by the sound of skin moving along skin and the little hitches in Gray's breath.

"Slow down," Gray finally said when Jellal's movements grew erratic, giving away that he was very close.

Jellal's hips halted immediately. "Can't you bear the thought that I cum inside your cute boyfriend?"

"It's not that. It's rather hot watching you two. I just hoped you'd want to have some more fun with us."

"Don't worry about that. I already know what I want to do with you, and me filling up Natsu now is part of my plan. Please come closer. Let Natsu lick you while I fuck him."

Natsu let out a needy whine at Jellal's boldness. As Gray's cock brushed against his lips, the musky scent that flooded Natsu's nose made him dizzy with lust. He opened his mouth obediently just as Jellal resumed his movements.

They ended up spending the next few hours in or next to the bed, putting also the other pair of handcuffs to good use. Jellal was very creative in bed, and it turned out that he had perfect control over himself after his first release. All of them came several times, Jellal ahead of everyone with _seven_ orgasms. After a particularly loud scream from Natsu, Happy knocked on the door to ask if he was okay. Instead of stopping and letting Natsu answer, Jellal made a game out of it. He kept Natsu on edge with his mouth and also ordered Gray to thrust into him slowly while Natsu tried his hardest to answer in a somewhat coherent way that he was all right. In the end, he came hard and noisily in Jellal's mouth while Happy was still on the other side of the door, thus losing Jellal's little game.

~~~

Everyone in the guild hall fell oddly quiet the moment Natsu stormed in. The sound of the bathroom door banging shut had never seemed quite as loud as this time.

Mirajane shifted nervously from one foot to the other. She'd been on edge ever since a folded paper suddenly appeared next to the sink at seven in the morning. What was written on it sounded incredible to her. However, it was her own handwriting, she couldn't remember writing it, and the date was indeed July 7th, as stated on the paper. When Jellal barged into the guild hall and dragged Gray along with him, exactly like the last time according to her entry, her doubts were gone. She tried following Jellal, but he asked her to stay in the guild hall and leave it to them, just like the last time. It _had been_ the previous time, right? There were eleven tick marks and the title before the last entry stated 'Day 11'. Unless something happened to prevent her from writing altogether, this was the twelfth time Natsu was reliving the day.

She hastily put a twelfth tick mark on the bottom of the page and then skimmed through the text again. The last entry said that Natsu would be able to save Gray. Would the rewinds stop once Gray was saved? If yes, then why did Ultear turn back time again? Had Natsu's plan failed? She cursed herself for putting so little information. She could see the necessity of keeping it short due to limited space, but how was she supposed to help like this?

Lucy informed everybody of what was going on as soon as she arrived. She asked them to be tactful with both Gray and Natsu. While her information was far more detailed than Mirajane's, she couldn't say how many days had passed since she wrote it and thus didn't know if it was outdated. She obviously had missed new information since she didn't say anything about Tenrou Island. Mirajane kept quiet about it since her text said to keep it a secret.

The amount of _Natsu kept it a secret_ or _Natsu didn't explain_ in her text bothered her, but there was nothing she could do about it. Natsu clearly had an advantage over everybody else in the current situation, and if there was something he wanted to keep from them, then he could. The only way to smuggle information to the future, or rather, the timeline that would continue, was indeed to keep it a secret from Natsu.

Nobody beside her noticed Gray and Happy's arrival shortly after Natsu's. They were all too caught up in shooting worried looks at the bathroom door.

Natsu emerged not much later. Now that it wasn't the door anymore but he himself being on the receiving end of those looks, there was a nearly unbearable tension in the air. The guild hall had never been this quiet before, considering the number of people present.

Natsu looked like a picture of misery, standing in the doorway, all eyes on him. He cleared his throat.

"I know you have questions. I'll explain everything."

A murmur broke out and several people asked questions, but Natsu ignored them—he jumped on the bar right in front of Mirajane, nearly giving her a heart attack. The paper was folded, but if Natsu bent back just a little, he would see it. What would be less suspicious—pretending it was a recipe if he spotted it or trying to hide it? Given Natsu's sharp senses, the former was probably for the best, so she left it where it was and tried to calm her thrumming pulse.

Turned out she needn't have worried. He didn't pay her any heed throughout the whole explanation.

Mirajane wondered what they'd been doing all morning since Natsu explained everything from the beginning and Gray was surprised to learn about the situation they were in. He didn't take the message that he was probably going to die at the end of the day well.

Natsu didn't mention Tenrou Island at all; he just said that he knew how to solve the problem, but still needed time to prepare. Natsu held the diary up for everyone to see.

"For the preparation to be successful, I need everything back that has been ripped out of this diary."

Mirajane's heart skipped a beat. He'd said 'everything'. He didn't address only Lucy. Did he know?

Lucy cocked her head. "Huh? Why? Then we'll forget and you'll have to tell us everything again."

Mirajane heard Natsu gulp. "Yeah, well, then so be it. I need them back. Erza, you should also have a strip somewhere."

Oh. So did that mean he didn't know of Mirajane's ripped out page?

Erza narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Me? I don't think so. Where should it be?"

"Did you check your pockets already?" Natsu asked.

Erza got up from her bench and reached into her pockets. She shook her head. To prove that they were empty, she pulled the fabric out.

"Maybe in the pockets of another outfit?" Natsu suggested.

In the following minutes, Erza requipped into every single outfit and armor she possessed, searching everywhere a paper could possibly be. At the end, she even removed all clothes aside from her underwear, requesting Lucy with a deadpan expression to check whether there was a paper stuck somewhere in the back of her bra or panties. As far as Mirajane could tell, nearly everyone blushed, most of all Lucy. She yelled at Erza not to do weird stuff, but followed her request anyway, albeit with shaky hands.

Macao and Wakaba drooled all over the table, even after Erza got dressed again.

"It's not in any of my pockets. How big is that strip? It could be anywhere. Is it really that important? Finding it could take forever since I don't remember a thing."

Natsu clenched his hand into a fist. Mirajane wished she could see his face, but that would either mean calling attention to herself or moving away and leaving the paper unguarded.

"Well... it could be that you got rid of it. I only gave it to you because it startled Lucy to the point where she hit her head when she saw it sticking out of her pocket."

Natsu let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped.

"You could've hidden it somewhere. Now that I think of it, you never mentioned the paper after the day I entrusted it to you. It bears Gray's signature and he also put my name on it, so we'd be the first people you'd ask about it. Or not, if Lucy told you about it first. Who knows, you could even have handed it back to Lucy after you heard that she has the whole story written down on paper. After all, you wouldn't have remembered my request to keep it from her."

Natsu sank to his knees, then punched a fiery fist into the bar, breaking the wooden board. Not that it mattered to Mirajane—she was used to the destructiveness of her guild mates by now.

"Shit! I didn't think I'd need the paper back. You're right, it could be anywhere. Fuck!"

Natsu's voice was shaky, as if he was about to start crying any second. He had to be desperate.

Lucy jumped to her feet and held up her hands in a soothing gesture.

"I didn't notice something like that in the morning, but I'll go check now if I missed something, and if I find it, I'll bring it along with the text I wrote. I'm sure we'll find it."

Her tone was clipped, betraying her urgency to pacify Natsu. She was already up and away when she'd barely even finished talking, slamming the door behind her.

The tension that hung in the air after her departure was palpable. Nobody spoke for what felt like an eternity to her. Gray's face was blank, impassive, as if he wasn't noticing anything that happened around him anymore. It was understandable—Mirajane didn't know how she'd react to being told that she would die in a few hours and the preparations for her salvation weren't yet finalized.

She wanted nothing more than to break the silence, to do anything that would distract Natsu and Gray from their misery, but she was too scared that Natsu would turn and spot the paper. She had yet to decide her course of action. Somehow, it bugged her that Natsu seemingly didn't want to explain his demand to have the papers returned.

Was there something she hadn't written down but was important for her decision to either give the paper back or continue keeping it a secret? Something her past self hadn't deemed necessary? Had his behavior been suspicious? Had he given her a reason for distrust? Withholding information was already a good reason for distrust, but had there been something else?

Mirajane didn't notice that her level of anxiety had risen to a point where she'd started to get sweaty hands until Erza finally lifted the veil of silence: "What happens if Lucy doesn't find the paper you're talking about? Will it endanger Gray's life?"

Gray winced at that, if only just slightly. So despite his apathetic demeanor, he _was_ paying attention.

Natsu's head dropped even lower. His answer was near inaudible.

"I'll explain after I've got the papers back."

Very suspicious, indeed. However, now that he promised to give an explanation, Mirajane decided to wait and see. If it turned out to be crucial for Gray's survival, she could always apologize and hand it over after he revealed the connection.

Neither Gray nor Natsu moved from their position for the next ten minutes or so. They both seemed to be lost in thoughts. Their friends shot them worried looks and talked about the current situation, but they didn't dare involving either of them in the conversation.

Somewhere along the line, Erza got up to rummage about her luggage, only to let out a surprised gasp not ten seconds later. She waved a small scrap of paper over her head as she headed towards the bar. Natsu inspected it for a second and then took it from her, thanking her calmly. There was not a trace of relief in his voice.

Something was off. It was understandable that Natsu wasn't happy about having seen Gray die many times, but he was supposedly close to rescuing him. At least that was what he'd said. Shouldn't he be... happier? A little more confident?

In her earlier explanation, Lucy mentioned that Natsu and Gray had cuddled in the guild, but at that time everybody had still been too shocked to ask further questions. It was quite obvious anyway. Their mutual feelings were as clear as day, at least to nearly everybody whose name wasn't Natsu or Gray.

Especially in the light of those feelings, it was only logical to assume that Natsu would be optimistic, now that the solution was close. Yet there he was, sitting on the broken bar counter, shoulders slumped, head hanging low, and, most importantly, not at Gray's side.

Mirajane shook her head. It was not as if she could fully understand the situation with such a huge chunk of information missing. There were so many things that didn't make sense to her, like the mention of Zeref and Tenrou Island in her notes. The entry of Day 10 also bothered her, since it ended with the words 'If I don't add anything after this, something must have gone terribly wrong.' Suppressing a sigh, she decided to just wait and see.

When Lucy barged into the guild hall thirty minutes later and slithered to a halt before Natsu, all eyes were on her. She handed two papers over to Natsu with a careful and apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't find that paper—"

"It's okay. Erza found it. It was in her luggage."

Mirajane had never heard Natsu's voice so devoid of any kind of emotion.

Lucy's eyes lit up in relief, but it was short-lived. Probably because Natsu didn't show any positive reaction.

Natsu let out a heavy sigh as he picked up Erza's paper. Mirajane expected him to stuff them into his diary, to try and fix it somehow. But he didn't reach out for his rucksack in which he'd tucked the diary. Lucy opened her mouth again, probably to ask what the next step was, when Natsu's hand lit up. The hand which was holding the papers. Or had been, because now there was only ash crumbling from his palm.

Various sounds of surprise echoed through the guild hall, loudest of all Lucy's shriek. She reached out to grasp the leftovers of what had been her source of information, eyes wide in disbelief.

Mirajane tried to steady her breathing, to calm her pounding heart, but it was no use. Luckily she wasn't the only one who was agitated, so it would hardly look suspicious even if Natsu noticed.

With a shaky voice, Lucy asked, "N-Natsu, what's the meaning—"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted, his voice fragile and shaky.

Mirajane caught the tremor of Natsu's shoulders and understood. Natsu was crying. A muffled sob confirmed her suspicion.

"I'm so sorry. I lied a-and... and I need to... do something... s-something... th-that..."

A series of heavy sobs shook his body and rendered him unable to speak. Mirajane itched to comfort him, but now she was even more conscious of the paper still lying out in the open. Natsu hadn't yet explained what exactly he'd lied about, so any risk was too high.

Thankfully, Lucy pulled him off the bar and into her arms.

Mirajane noted that Gray had gotten up from his seat but had stopped halfway to the bar, looking worried and unsure what to do. She averted her gaze as a stab of sympathy for the poor boys surged through her.

When Natsu was calm enough to speak again, he extricated himself from Lucy's arms and turned towards their friends, his shoulders hunched. His voice was sad and low, but due to the silence, it carried over to even the farthest edge of the guild hall.

"I'm sorry. I just... wanted to destroy all evidence. I don't want anyone to feel guilty afterwards."

So she'd been right to hide the paper after all. Natsu felt the need to hide something from them. He didn't think they'd take whatever he had to do well. He wanted to handle all the guilt alone. Mirajane felt her pulse quicken, but this time out of anger. What were friends for, if not for sharing such feelings, for supporting each other in difficult times? If Natsu didn't want to share voluntarily, she'd ensure that his friends stood by his side when he was having a hard time. And maybe have Erza or Gray beat some sense into him since that was evidently the only language he understood. But that could wait. For now she had to make sure Natsu didn't take the paper from her.

Gray finally broke the silence. "Guilty for what?"

Natsu shook his head. "In order to save you, I need to do something... something bad."

Gray lifted an eyebrow. "Bad like 'killing people'-bad or 'stealing or breaking something'-bad? Because you've never cared about breaking stuff before."

Natsu lowered his head and Mirajane caught a glimpse of tears dripping to the floor. "Do people's trust and hearts count as _stuff_?"

Gray gaped at him for several seconds. He took a tentative step forward, paused, swallowed, and then closed the distance between them with a few quick strides. Putting his hands on Natsu's shoulders, Gray tried to make him look up but failed.

"Natsu. What do you need to do? Break my heart to save me?"

Mirajane was surprised that Gray managed to keep his voice relatively calm.

Natsu finally lifted his head. Instead of answering, he leaned in and kissed Gray, his arms wrapping around Gray's torso to pull him closer. Nobody dared speak, not even Juvia.

They kept their kiss chaste and broke apart a few moments later.

Natsu took a deep breath and then said, "I have to break your heart along with mine. We can't see each other ever again after this. I have to leave the guild and never come back."

"No!"

It wasn't only Gray. It was the whole guild. Everyone had jumped up from their seats, taken at least one step towards Natsu and protested heavily. Mirajane could hardly make out anything they called since all the voices blended together.

The next minutes were total chaos. She was used to chaos in the guild, but this was on a whole other level. They weren't fighting with fists, but with words. They weren't fighting against Natsu, but _for_ him. He was a part of their family.

Thinking of Natsu leaving the guild hurt. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Fairy Tail would be without him, without the prospect of him ever returning. Judging from Natsu's emotional breakdown, this seemed to be the only option he had.

She swallowed heavily as understanding sunk in.

 _'Probably the only one who can judge this situation correctly is him. If he's so sure that he doesn't have another option, then it must be true. He loves Gray. He loves_ us _. He would never abandon us if there was even the slightest possibility of another way out.'_

The sounds of her surroundings became strangely muted as reluctant acceptance turned into firm resolve.

_'His heart is screaming, but he has to do this. He has to fulfill a mission that is bigger than himself. If I had to choose between Gray dying and Natsu leaving the guild, I'd pick the latter without hesitation. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way.'_

She took in her surroundings. Natsu on the ground, crying. Their friends crowding him, some of them in tears, some angry. She knew they all meant well, but it wasn't helping, least of all Natsu.

Everyone was distracted, so she seized the opportunity to hide her note and then used a spell to enhance the volume of her voice.

"Natsu Dragneel," she said in the most formal tone she could muster.

Heads turned and noise died down, a few muffled sniffs suddenly being the only sounds that filled the air beside Mirajane's footsteps as she strode over to where Natsu was sitting.

"There are three rules which people who leave Fairy Tail must obey."

People scurried aside as she drew closer.

"One: You must never reveal sensitive information about Fairy Tail to others for as long as you live."

She stopped right in front of Natsu who was looking up at her with tears rapidly streaming down his face. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Two: You must never use former contacts met through your being in the guild for personal gain."

Some voices joined in as if it were a prayer.

"Three: Though our paths may have diverged, you must continue to live out your life with all your might, you must never consider your own life to be something insignificant, and you must never forget about your friends who loved you."

Natsu shook the offered hand without hesitation, and since she didn't like seeing him so broken on the floor, she used the moment to pull him to his feet. The momentum sent him stumbling right into her arms, where she held him tightly for a good minute until his sobs subsided.

The events of the next minutes were a blur to her with all the people hugging Natsu and bidding their farewells. It was surprising how easily they accepted his decision once she'd broken the first ground—with few exceptions.

When everyone gathered at the door and Natsu was about to leave, Mirajane noticed that Makarov was restraining a struggling Gray. Several others, including Laxus and Erza, never took their eyes off Gray for long.  He didn't want to let Natsu go.

While waving Natsu goodbye, Mirajane mentally prepared for battle in case Gray managed to escape, but it turned out not to be necessary. The smaller Natsu's retreating figure grew, the less Gray struggled until he finally gave up. A few seconds before Natsu completely vanished out of sight, Gray shouted, "I swear, one day I will kick your ass for leaving us!"

Natsu stopped in his tracks only for a moment. He lifted his hand and resumed walking. When Mirajane recognized the gesture, she teared up. Pointer finger and thumb stretched, the others curled: _No matter where you are or how far away you may be, I will always be watching over you_.

Every single one of them copied the gesture even though Natsu was already gone. Master even let go of Gray, who went along with and didn't try to escape. They kept their hands raised for at least a minute longer.

~~~

"So it's true then?" Zeref asked as he emerged from behind a tree. He smelled strongly of fried chicken for whatever reason.

Natsu nodded. "Obviously."

"How long has it been since your last meal?"

Now that he mentioned it... Despite his inner turmoil, Natsu's stomach grumbled. He couldn't for the life of him remember when he'd eaten what was supposed to be 'yesterday'—when the world had still been all right and his biggest sorrow had been the train ride on the following day.

"I haven't eaten today at all."

Zeref sighed. "Past me was right after all." He retrieved a big plastic bag from his former hiding spot and tossed it over to Natsu. "Eat. You'll need it."

As Natsu gobbled the generous portion, Zeref stood a distance away and watched him, a smirk beginning to tug at his lips. "You've always been a good eater. I guess some things never change."

When Natsu was done eating, he burned the waste to ashes and then bumped his burning fist into his other palm, signaling that he was ready.

However, Zeref shook his head. "We still have half the day. My record says I haven't yet laid out our whole past. I think I should, considering what you're about to do."

Before Natsu could answer, Zeref produced a book from within his tunic. Three letters adorned its cover: E.N.D.

"This is the book of a demon, one just like Gray is about to become. A human demon. Did I tell you about this book yet?"

"Not about that one specifically, just that I'll need any book for it to work out."

Zeref's face was unreadable. "This is your book."

Natsu tilted his head in confusion. "No, it's yours, I've never seen it befo—"

"You are a demon, Natsu. The book your life is bound to is this one. The person you're bound to is me."

Natsu's stomach swooped. He didn't _want_ to believe this man, but there was this odd feeling of something clicking into place.

"You are bound to me in the same way your lover will be bound to you if your plan succeeds."

Well, at least this explained why Zeref was so sure that a so-called _human demon_ wasn't a wild beast. But then, didn't that mean...?

"So he'll also be bound to _you_ then? If you die, then I die, and if I die, he dies, so the lives of the three of us will be connected, right?"

Zeref didn't waver. "Yes. If you succeed, then killing me will cause both yours and your lover's deaths."

Which was just perfect for Zeref, since it meant that Natsu would have to protect him with his life.

 _'This could all just be a big lie, a plot to keep himself safe. But does he even_ need _to protect himself like this? He's supposed to be the mightiest mage that ever lived and immortal on top of that. Nobody should be able to kill him either way.'_

"I understand that you may have doubts about my sincerity, but I can prove what I said. I wouldn't want to do it now since any harm done to this book and thus to you will endanger your learning process, but I can show you later."

Natsu nodded. Zeref was right—he'd find out soon enough. He pushed all questions and doubts resolutely aside and focused only on his training.

In the following hours, Zeref pushed Natsu to the verge of passing out countless times, and once Natsu really did pass out. Being nearly out of magic, even though the body was unhurt, was extremely painful. Entering Dragon Force when there was none of his friends to protect nearby was tricky at first, but Zeref taught him where to find and how to activate the magic of dragons. Natsu had a brief impression that he found something very familiar as he stretched his senses to the inside of his own body, but Zeref guided his attention elsewhere. Later, when Natsu tried to find it again, he wasn't able to. The option of awakening Natsu's demon powers also came up, but Zeref refused to show him. He said that it would be counterproductive without giving an explanation, not even when Natsu nagged him for it.

At around seven, Zeref decided that Natsu was as ready as he could be. When Natsu pressed him for proof, he pierced the book labeled E.N.D. with a ray of magic. The pain Natsu felt surging through his chest was proof enough of the connection between him and the book, and so he dropped the last doubt.

Zeref asked some questions about Natsu's plans for the next day and if there was something he'd need to take care of. Natsu roughly told him how he was going to go about things, and stressed that Zeref should best stay hidden from Gray, or at least hide his identity.

Zeref sat down to add another few paragraphs to his note while Natsu tested various things on the book of _Etherious Natsu Dragneel_ to see how they would affect him. Folding the pages didn't inflict pain on him; it merely caused a slight uneasiness. Tearing them hurt, the level of pain increasing the bigger the rip became. He also tried writing onto an empty page. He noticed the subtle tingling this caused under his skin only when it subsided. Writing in an aggressive manner made his skin itch so badly that he was busy scratching himself for a solid minute.

Zeref wanted to test something too, so Natsu handed the slightly demolished book back. Natsu was baffled to see Zeref push the book to his chest and hug it close. Warmth encompassed him, and suddenly everything didn't seem as gloomy anymore. Even though Zeref said nothing at all, Natsu felt as if he spoke directly to his soul.

 _'It's going to be okay.'_  
_'I'll always be here for you.'_  
 _'I will protect you.'_  
 _'You can rely on me.'_

The sensation vanished at once. Natsu nearly protested, but then he heard the book hit the ground and saw Zeref crouch as a black sphere emerged from within his body. With practiced ease, Natsu got into safety and returned once the danger was over.

A glance at his watch told Natsu it was already eight, thus time for the day to end. Zeref seemed to understand, because he spoke up before Natsu had the chance to say anything.

"I will await the two of you somewhere in this forest on the next rewind. If you try to activate Dragon Force by yourself, you'll probably use up too much magic in the process, so you'd best find me before you try reviving him on your own."

"Yeah. I will."

' _Thank you. For everything_ ,' he wanted to say, but it was too late. A familiar dizziness subdued him, and in the next moment he was back in his bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration is a bitch sometimes.
> 
> If anyone's interested: My life's become a lot better. Stepping back from my promise to update weekly helped with that, so I'm not going to bind myself to a fixed update scedule ever again, even if that means upsetting some of my readers. It's _myself_ and my (physical and mental) health I have to think about first. I finally _understand_ that now (knowing and really understanding are two completely different things).
> 
> That's why, as of late, I dislike being pressed for updates (honestly, don't do it).
> 
> However, I talked with another writer _(who writes mostly for another fandom and is much more well-known than me)_ about writing, motivation, deadlines and such. She's juggling far more ongoing fics than I am. She said she's offering her readers to pay her for updates, almost like writing commissions, only that the content of what she'll write for the money she gets is entirely up to her. So, her readers are basically paying her to _write faster_. She says it's helping her a lot. It's boosting her motivation, knowing that there's a person who thinks her work is worthy of payment.
> 
> Since there's no harm in _offering_ , I'll just do it: **If there's somebody (or several people) out there who want to get updates on this fic so badly that they're willing to pay me for sitting down and writing, go ahead: Here's my[Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/A661DJB). For every coffee (3€, which is like a little over $3) I promise I'm gonna sit down and write for 30 minutes on the next chapter of Rewind within two days after receiving the donation.** Keep in mind that paying doesn't mean you get to have a say in the story. I have the plot mostly figured out, there are only gonna be a few minor adjustments as I go.
> 
> Don't worry, I'll still write even if nobody donates. This is simply an offer, feel free to ignore. Once the chapter is finished it's possible that another week will pass until I can post it, since it needs to be edited by my betas. Don't worry that you'll overpay me or something if the chapter is already finished and somebody donates _after_ that. I'll just use the 30 minutes per coffee for the following chapter in that case. And believe me, this fic is _far_ from over.
> 
>  **Please proceed to read Day 12 of Mirajane's notes** and don't forget to leave a comment, these will also boost my motivation and they're free ;)


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